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Welcome to Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door.

We open in front of the Mario Brothers' house. Mario's mailman Parakarry returns from the first Paper Mario game and is never seen again.

Luigi retrieves the mail, a single letter addressed to Mario

A Mario game that starts with a letter from Peach. Who'da thunk?

Now this is my kind of invitation. Baking a cake? Screw that, let's go hunt for treasure!



Not much of a treasure map, really. It doesn't even tell you where to look. It's pretty much just a map of Rogueport and the surrounding areas.

This game goes crazy with its paper effects. Pages turn, scenery folds and unfolds, it really makes the game feel like it takes place in a pop-up book.

And here's the title screen. That was fast.

Even the three-dimensional objects are made of paper


And now we finally have control of Mario. Quick explanation of the HUD: The Mario face is Mario's health, the flower icon is Mario's flower points, used for special attacks, the green circle is Mario's star points, which is this game's form of experience points, and the coin is Mario's money. The control pad on the bottom left is just a bunch of shortcuts to the start menu.

Let's see what we can do now

Mario can jump, of course

Swing his hammer around

He can swim

OK, maybe not

OH HOLY SHIT! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!

Every body of water in the game comes complete with a giant robot piranha. Doesn't matter where it is, oceans, ponds, sewers, if it's at least waist-deep and you fall in, he'll come and getcha, sending Mario back to dry land.

And he even takes off a point of health. Jerk.
Whatever, let's go talk to some NPCs.

I like how his first guess is money. Says a lot about what kind of people hang out in Rogueport. Hint: They are not nice people.

Save point floating in the air, just waiting for Mario to jump underneath it.

A commotion just offscreen

A damsel in distress! Mario knows exactly what to do in this sort of situation.

Why, talk to NPCs of course!


Alright, enough of that, time to save the girl.

Every battle begins with the curtain falling, then rising to reveal a theater stage.

Scripted battles and bosses don't let you run away from them.



Pretty simple turn based battle system. Mario's main attacks are his jumps and his hammer.

Let's try out a jump attack, shall we?

Every attack in the game involves some sort of timing based button pressses. I don't use them in this fight, they'll be explained in more detail later.

Damage formula is a basic Attack - Defense. Mario's attack is 1 and Crump's defense is 0. Damage totals hardly ever reach double digits.

This must be the Crump-a-bomb

Mario is not too thrilled about it

There are also hammer attacks. Most of the time it's not a big deal which one you choose.

No items just yet


Nope, still can't run away


Defend increases defense by 1 for a turn. Get a good look now because I'll never use it again.

That little star is what you get when an attack does no damage.


Sometimes your actions in battle cause the scenery to affect the battlefield. The most common one is the background falling onto the stage.

This time it damages Mario's side of the field.

By the way, when Mario has 5 or less HP, he slumps over, and you get a flashing warning message and an annoying little siren during your turn.

Fortunately, Crump goes down pretty fast. He only has 5 HP, so the only way to lose is to jump into the water a few times before the fight.

Star points are experience. Get 100 of them and you level up. Enemies give out less SP as you level up, so no farming goombas for a week to reach level 90 or anything.

Meet the X-Nauts. They'll be our villains du jour throughout the game.


What they lack in strength and intelligence, they make up for in sheer numbers

Usually

I'm sorry, were you guys expecting competent villains? You'll have to look elsewhere for that.

The X-Nauts don't notice Mario, even if you walk right back into the crowd

A mysterious panel with a boat symbol. Right now it's of no use to us.

So long, chumps!




We'll be seeing more of these guys later. For now, they just give up and go home I guess.

: I have just GOT to give you a little reward!


Mario gets a kiss on the cheek. And he didn't even have to go through any castles.
: My name's Goombella. I'm a student at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya! So, uh, who are you?

: Mario? You mean, like, that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you here! Cool. Anyway, no offense, but it looks like you just rolled into town yourself. Right? Me, I already hate it here! There are freaks and wierdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty!

I guess if I went to a place called Jerktown I'd expect everyone to be an asshole, too.
: I'd never come to a place like this if there weren't some legendary treasure here.

: What? You're looking for the legendary treasure, too? Seriously?

Mario shows Goombella the map. Also, some piantas in suits show up in the background all of a sudden.
:Omigosh! Is...isn't that a treasure map? You HAVE to tell me where you got that!

: Princess Peach? What?


In the background, some craws enter from the right, and the piantas spring into action

By the way, that was Toadsworth calling out to Mario


This scene goes on in the background regardless of how quickly you progress Toadsworth's dialogue

Pianta mafia. Yep.






That's all for the craws and piantas. Let's get back to the real storyline.
:So tell me, Master Mario, What in the world brings you to this wretched burg?

: Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? Princess Peach sent you a letter and a treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you here in Rogueport? Intriguing...

: You're asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm...I was about to ask you that. We stopped in this town to acquire a spot of fuel for our ship, don't you know. I only took my eye off her for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished.

: You know how headstrong she is, Mario...I just assumed she'd be back momentarily...
Listen, it's been at least a day, and that's assuming that Peach's letter reached Mario the next morning, that a ship was immediately ready to go to Rogueport, and that the ride was only a few hours long. Peach is long gone by now.
: But at this point, I fear we must embrace the possibility that she may never return. I've been at a loss as to what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you!

: But I know my place, Master Mario...and this is not it. I leave this task to you.

Yes, you, Mario! Were you not paying attention the past dozen times this happened to her?
: I believe I'll recline in the inn over there and enjoy a spot of tea, perhaps. I heartily recommend it, particularly if you find your HP(Heart Points) running low.

: I must say, though, the rest of this town seems a bit...rough. Yes, rough indeed.

He finally shuts up and heads off to the inn. It's the door underneath the little bed sign, in case you're wondering.

: The princess who always gets nabbed by Bowser, the Koopa King? The one you rescue? Wait a sec! This is crazy! Princess...PEACH sent you that treasure map? Whoa. This is really intense. Well, where could she have gone, then, do you think? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to find the treasure on her own?

Aw, how cute. They're trying to make the plot of a Mario game a mystery.
: Ooh! Ooh! I know, Mario! Come with me! One of my professors is here researching that treasure. We'll show him your map! If we start looking for the treasure, maybe we'll catch up to Princess Peach! Great! We're all good then! Let's go, Mario!

Say hello to our first party member

Every time someone joins the party, you get one of these little tutorials. Long story short: press X outside of battle to get hints and background information on puzzles, people, areas and objects.
: First off, we gotta go find my professor. Thing is, since I just got into town myself...I, um, don't actually know where he lives.

I really like how they just come right out and show you exactly what the things you're looking for look like.

And Goombella's health gets added to your HUD

That's all for now. We'll go look for Professor Frankly next time.