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Warlock: Master of The Arcane
What the hell?
Warlock: Master of the Arcane is a pretty simple fantasy 4X game that seems to have already overpowered 2 LPrs. Strange, since basically it's Baby's First 4X Game: Return of the Difficulty Spike. Build cities, train armies, wage war, fire spells, damn the AI. Usual 4X fare.
They told me games have plot...
In the tradition of modern 4X games, Warlock lacks a campaign, has some interesting (well, funny) lore. It's set in the universe of Majesty 2 - Ayn Rand's Fantasy Simulator - with unclear relation to that game's timeline. Most probably some time afterwards.
So what's new?
Well, usually 4X games rely heavily on research to build better units than the rest of the world and trample the AI spearmen under the threads of Future Murder Tanks. Not so here. Units are build and upgraded if you have the required buildings, which is more about city development (easy) and city positioning (easier). Research is done to get spells that your wizard ass can cast from his tower. Unfortunately, the game has failed to produced a clearly visible spell tree, but that's only a minor impetus. Most of the time your overtrained and overgeared units can do well.
Also, you have a bad case of Notmovingitus, which means that your capital never moves and you lose the game if it's destroyed. Be vary of enemy deep infiltration missions (that never happen on normal).
To keep the things interesting, monster spawners appear worldwide at random intervals. This is annoying, especially in cases of small, undeveloped cities.
Aside from the main world, there are pocket dimentions that can only be accessed by gates. This is a whole new level of "fun".
So, what's the world like?
I'm going to play normal difficulty and without the "50% Holy Grounds" option. I doubt the enemy AI will be smart enough to do the other things and I have no idea what's an avatar.
I'm making a huge world because I like huge worlds. It's mostly continents, so I'd be separated from other mages at the beginning, but still have place to develop. I'll take 6 opponents because... why not? 8 would be too much, especially in prolonging the endgame and interrupting my Teleport/Resurrect spells. The number of planes is set to highest because I want to show them off - well, show their terrain texture off. I also like the idea of pocket dimensions.
Cylindrical map means that we can go south (or west) till we reach the place where we left off. Hurray for realism?
This is your prebaked mage selection. Note the lore! Mages give a name and a face to your nation, as well as perks. These can vary from immediate resource bonuses (hello, wasted points), to unit enhancements and spells researched. Again, pretty much run of the mill stuff.
Some of the mage are pretty cooky.
Channel your inner furry!
This means I have the elf DLC!
Create a magical idiot
Here's the wizard/nation creation screen. You have points, and perks and spells cost points. Simple. You can also change name, portrait, color and race. Notice how lame all of the banners are.
Here's a sample character I created for the test post play.
Twik the Goatrapist is a Koatl pervert who became a great wizard through the power of goat love. He commands a Monster nation, because nobody else would accept him and making love to undead goats is just obscene. Twik, having spent most of his time in farm and barns, knows something about Farming (Food income bonus). Also, while tending to his band of lovers and organizing their defense from wolves and their rightful owners, he became A Glorious Tactician (10% to unit attack). It's still a mistery how he learned magic (Fireball and Healing).
Audience input
You get to vote for which race I play!
Humans: Your run of the mill inhabitants of Every Fantasy Game Ever. Generic to the core, easy to play, not that badly voiced. Have the biggest variety of Holy Grounds units.
Monsters: Goblins, Werewolves, Rat Pirates, oh my! They're probably cheaper and weaker than human units. They definitely have voice acting and lines so bad, that it should be classed as a warcrime.
Undead: Skeletons - well, you know the drill. Take mana upkeep which might be inconvenient for a spell slinging player. Have various undead bonuses. Have the best unit in the game: Galleus of the Sky.
Elves: The DLC race! More expensive and thus better units than everyone else. Are actually armored and pro-oreder, unlike the usual Dark Elf BDSM fare. Also have a flying a ship, like the undead.
Let the voting commence!
~~sample play follows~~
Long were the travels of Twik the Goatrapist and his "people", but eventually they settled in icy podunk. Their new capital, Preyton, was surrounded by tundra - a hard land for farmers, but a blessing for hunters of rare fur and yellow snow statue makers.
His royal highness belched and ordered the building of a farm as well as training of some goblin spearmen. A tasks that helped each other, since any goblin that spent some time poking the frozen ground with a stick (the whole "plough" thing has escaped monsters) is declared to be a trained spearman. Speargoblin.
[You can build one building once a city reaches a new level. Also, you can build units and buildings at the same time - a scandalous development in the 4X genre]
Taking inventory of the armed forces under his command, Twik sent the Goblin Archers and Ratman Robbers to explore the surrounding area and maybe die - Twik was nothing if not suspicious of any undue attention towards his goats.
[Every unit card has at least some lore. And stats, but who cares about that?]
Ratmen quickly run into some wolf-not-men (also known as wolves). Twik is too preocupied to notice. The spark of magic that awoke in him during a night's orgy in the farm had to be nurtured through research - or as close a facsimile of it as Twik could muster. Thus the farm animal adoring Koatl decides to curse at the shadows - maybe that would goad some creatures to come out of them.
[That's the most detailed screen of spell research that you'll ever see]
The wolves attack Ratmen while they rest around the fire and prepare for the attack tomorrow morning. A smell of roast ratmen (due to a butt unfreezing over the fire mishap) probably keyed them in. Never the less, the Ratmen attack the next day and with some help from Goblin Archers, they kill all the wolves.
[The combat here is basically like in Civilization 5. Nothing too fancy and saves you from unnecessary risk]
They pillage the wolf den and somehow come up with 30 gold.
[Pillaging monster spawners is not as profitable as in Eador: Masters of a Broken World, but even more necessary because they keep spawning stuff. And that's not taking into account the randomly appearing monster spawners...]
Unfortunately, this puts them in a position to be attacked by a lone band of Skeleton Archers and the Ratmen survivors are cut down by arrows.
Meanwhile in the capital, Twik takes time from insulting the mouldier corners of his keep and order the building of a fishing village. Besides the actual fishing (tie a rope to ratman, throw him overboard, drag him out, detach fish, repeat) this allows to build ships - and ships are needed to find lands that don't suck as much. A new unit of Goblin Spearmen is ordered out to avenge the fallen Ratmen.
[Also, you might want to have an strong early navy because... seas can get annoying later on]
And that's just what they do. This uncovers the origin of the restless dead - a city named Blackcliff looms in the horizon, illuminated by fell magics and satellite TV stealing arrays.
But before the Goblins launch an attack on it, the village is finished in the capital and the building of the first shit, the Smelly Floater, is commissioned.
While the goblins are off dying, the shysters of a local trader guild (collectively, the now how to count to four) give Twik the quest to build a Harbor, which would get more trade and, presumably, more exotic varieties of goat.
The Goblin Spearmen are soundly beaten and retreat, pursued by Skeletons. Their mean Archer bretheren are enchanted by this sight and gain a level.
[Leveling and gear is used to make your units eventually unbeatable. This was very important before introduction of heroes]
Skeletons run down and kill the fleeing goblins while their archer brethren ineffectively plink away with their arrows.
[Skeletons are thinner than Kate Moss and, as such, resistant to ranged attacks]
Meanwhile, the Stinky Floater is build, christened with a beer of fermented goat milk and sent to fish out some crap that Twik saw through the window of his "palace". That turns out to be a whooping amount of gold.