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Chapter XXII-2: Letting amateurs on the stage can lead to a Calamity
It's possible to redo the play as many times as you want - at least, until the 12th of September. Aggro is going to redo it because she really enjoyed the fame.
Unfortunately, it's been a little while since her last history lesson and without anybody to repeatedly tell her the story of The Calamity, she's at a bit of a loss as to who hatched from Dalamud. It was...uhh...
Click to play: Return of the Hero
Since the puppeteers didn't actually go on the history lesson trip with Aggro, they too seemed to have forgotten one of the most important events in the history of Eorzea. Winging it, they release their Louisoix minion onto the stage.
I said he came from the heavens! Louisoix came to save Eorzea!
...And all lived happily ever after. A wonderful story indeed. However, it's not exactly the one I remember hearing...
Soundtrack ends.
The play ends there, and the screen fades out to the side of the stage. Aggro is having a conversation with the carpenter.
The leader then walks over and begins talking too.
Now, I have no doubt you're quite tired after such an impassioned performance. Take some time and rest, and speak to me again when you've recovered.
The scene that played after the performance ends will repeat for every uncertain choice Aggro makes. The only two that end differently are the correct ending, and the unlocked ending. I'll show the unlocked ending at the end, but there's a variation of results from Aggro hesitating to answer.
Going back to the first dialogue option, Aggro yet again answers It was...uhh...
Click to play: Bliss
This time, Dalamud will hatch a Fat Cat.
The puppets will all surround the Fat Cat, but it'll ignore them and just roll around.
And then, uh... Their hearts having been melted by the sight of such a cuddly creature, Garleans and Eorzeans alike lost the will to fight! They cast down their weapons, and embraced each other as brother and sister, returning home without further bloodshed!
And so, that leaves one more ending from the first dialogue option. Let's rewind back.
Still uncertain, Aggro makes the same mistake again. What could the last result for this option be?
Click to play: Chocobo Theme
A chocobo chick!
A defeanening kweh echoed across the battlefield, and with a violent kick of its legs, the chocobo sent both armies reeling to the ground!
Thus did the Battle of Carteneau come to a decisive end! Eorzea was spared destruction, and the chocobo chick hailed as savior of the realm!
Aggro applauds the chocobo chick.
Kweh! Kweh! Kweh!
Well, that's it for the first dialogue choice. Now, what about the second?
Aggro eventually managed to figure out that it was Bahamut that came from Dalamud, but now a voice rings out when everyone is on the verge of defeat. She decides that It was the voice of...uhhh..., who was it again?
A voice called out, piercing the chaos of the battlefield. The voice of none other than...another Warrior of Light!?
Oh, that's right! The Warrior of Light! Wait, huh?
Be gone, vile beast! You shall threaten the realm no longer!
Bahamut disappears in a cloud of smoke.
In defense of her fallen comrade, the stalwart warrior stood valiantly against Bahamut! From whence did this mysterious ally come? None can recall, but the fatal blow struck against the mighty dragon resounds to this day!
Click to play: Victory Fanfare
That was amazing! I mean... Thus was Bahamut laid low, and the realm saved! Three cheers for the Warrior of Light!
Alright. Let's try this again. It was the voice of... uhh...
Before Aggro can come up with an answer, the carpenter walks on stage and starts inspecting Bahamut.
Apologies, Chief, but the fireworks ain't...uh, firin' the way they should. I take pride in my craft, ye see. I just can't let such a thing stand without at least an honest attempt at fixin' it.
And this is your idea of fixing things!? Barging onto the stage like a goobbue run amok!?
By the gods!
The leader turns to the audience and waves at them.
Would you look at that, everyone? Impeccable craftsmanship! So impeccable that the realm was saved! And with that, today's show shall come to a close. Thank you, thank you one and all!
Third time's the charm. It was the voice of...uh...
This time, a cheerleader shows up. It begins to dance.
Get up! Get up and fight! Show us your might! Show the realm who's the Warrior of Light!
Aggro's spirits raise, and if Final Fantasy IX taught me anything, it's that Spirit is a top stat. Bahamut gets destroyed.
Heartened by the earnest encouragement, our savior stood undaunted against Bahamut! With a single blow, she laid low the dread primal once and for all!
She lied. You can only get them with the PvP currency.
We're on the final choices now. With Louisoix down, Aggro stands up to face Bahamut alone. What does the Warrior of Light do? They uh...
Louisoix hits Aggro with a heal, who feels the restored energy flowing through her. What will her quote be?
I'm not going to lie. The first time I saw this one was when I was recording with Aggro and it really surprised me. It took me a second to realise that it was actually the lady ventriloquist. Well played, Square.
In any case, Bahamut explodes into a puff of smoke to Aggro quoting Zidane in Final Fantasy IX.
Bahamut was overwhelmed by the empathetic words of a legendary thief! So moved was he that his breath caught in his throat, leaving him unable to wreak any more havoc unto Eorzea! Huzzah!
Here we go again. In the third section, it's standard for Louisoix to cast the same spell on Aggro, and she'll examine herself. We'll just skip to the results in the next two.
Louisoix enveloped the Warrior of Light in magic, whisking her away to safety.
Aggro waves goodbye and then teleports away.
Woe unto us! Our saviors have gone! Who shall save us now!? It is hopeless!
Brave champions, I leave the rest in your hands! If I can but see you to a new future, I should want for nothing more.
Little do the troupe know that this was actually the most accurate of endings. Nobody knows what happened after this and why Bahamut disapeared.
Last time. Louisoix powers Aggro up once more.
Louisoix's incantation revitalized the Warrior of Light, and with a newfound tenacity she fixed her smoldering gaze upon the dragon... And in a flash Bahamut was defeated! The Warrior of Light was...surprised her foe was felled so easily...
Aggro starts shadowboxing towards Bahamut, and he disappears in a puff of smoke.
You shall rue the day you stood against me, foolish mortals!
Another Bahamut walks on stage.
No, no, no! We don't have all the puppets for - I mean... And so he spoke, on and on, until Bahamut named all of his kin. In fact, some say he is still talking to this day...
Aggro shrugs and the scene ends. That's all ten endings!