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Not The One At The Top, Not The One That Writes History... Yet: Part XI - Deal With The Devil? (1161 - 1167)
Alright then, time to check some points off on "the plan". Lose crown, have claim, check.
Independence revolt, check.
Win revolt, check.
Join HRE, check.
Take crown back, check.
And there we go, all nice and snug under the protection of the Kaiser.
Now, let's take a look at the HRE. It's big. It's scary. It's currently in a revolt, but it'll be crushed soon. It'll only grow in size as we expand.
However, it's also a clusterfuck, and we're the strongest power in the entire empire, so it's not all bad.
Next stop, figuring out the succession. This is a pretty tough question, but I settle on Aldebert, who doesn't seem half bad - he's got Strong!
For some reason, our capital got moved, and with it, we lost all those great tech gains from Constantinople. Let's rectify that situation.
Furthermore, we're way over the demesne limit, so we give away Champagne to deal with it. We eventually sit tight at 6/6.
Surprisingly enough, I find a decent Spymaster with positive relations with us. That was easier said than done, because most other folks don't like us right now.
While giving out counties, I fuck up and give out one to some old guy that only has one daughter, and she's a countess too. That might cause problems down the line. I marry him off again in hopes that he'll produce a male heir, but this might fuck things up a bit for my vassals. Oh well.
I notice that our chosen heir has a claim on Anjou, which might come in handy at one point, but let's face it, lots can happen in ten years.
We probably can't even push the claim at that point because the infirm old woman kicked the bucket a few years ago.
Now that we're in the HRE, there's a mass of vassals all factioning and plotting around, but we can't play around with that until we're out of the regency, so we'll have to wait a while.
Relations with our regent get worse, and that's a bad thing.
However, she's Depressed and Ill, so maybe she'll die on her own before she can fuck things up further?
Yay! The Spymaster gets appointed regent, which is fine with me. I give him some cash and a honorary title just in case, though.
However, because his Stewardship blows, we're now over the demesne limit again. Fuck it, we're not giving away more stuff. We'll deal with the minor maluses until we come of age.
In '63, I figure it's time to start working on those last few independent French rulers.
This won't be a big problem.
And it's a good thing we've got a lot of troops, because we got terrible rulers thanks to the CA problem. I'll have to deal with that once we come of age.
The battle still goes well. At a certain point, commanders don't mean shit if the numbers are big enough.
The siege continues, and... why the fuck is everybody at war with me?
OH GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I got hit with the "everybody is randomly made hostile to you" bug, and the only way to solve that is to completely shut down the game and restart, which means I have to reload from the yearly autosave. Things don't go much different during the time we have to play for a second time.
Aw, we became friends with our heir. 
He actually likes us now, despite the fact that we murdered Grandpa!
Oh god damnit, Kaiser. Can't help but feel this is an escalation of some sort of playground dispute, despite the fact that they two are pretty far apart.
The war ends the way it was destined to end.
At this point, I run out of Content folks in my realm to give titles to, so let's see if we can't find some decent material in the RNG...
...well, the answer is no, but he'll have to do. This is the best out of five.
In '64, we get into some more wars - there's currently a rebellion going on in Berry, so if we get lucky, we can snatch up two counties in one shot.
It comes time to pick our educator, and I settle on Pernelle. Decent stats, alright traits.
Sadly, the rebellion ends in '65 before we can win...
...but just one county ain't too bad.
After that, we're on a truce with every remaining French ruler, so let's go shopping for claimants. The result? Terrible. Complete wasteland of opportunities. We'll have to come back to that later.
In '66 snatch myself an alright Quick bride. She'll be 28 when we get to marry her, but I can always divorce her later if problems arise.
Aldebert comes of age, and he's alright himself. Kinda shit on the Intrigue, but that's what ambitions are for.
For some bizarre reason, even the hated former Queen supports our heir at some point...
...but it doesn't last long. AI shenanigans, I presume.
And then, in '67, Aldebert becomes duke of Champagne! I guess somebody pushed his claim? I have no idea what's going on within my realm. I truly am the best king.
OH GOD DAMNIT NOT AGAIN. Fuck it, let's give the game some rest.
Next time: Some waiting, some warring, some bugs.