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Part 14: France, What on Earth Are You Doing Up There?
The entire empire is called up to war. The Cholas are already in the midst of a rebellion, but neither the rebels nor the loyalists have the numbers to stop the Palas.
We've got a better picture of Laks here. Our retinue is already on the scene and besieging the provinces.
Laks' steward is do a less than admirable job of collecting taxes. He doesn't follow any of the established rules and is prone to make up his own, like "after paying taxes, you must do a ballet act with a chicken". This was made worse by the fact that no one, not even the steward, knew what ballet was. He'd just made up the word.
If your steward has the Arbitrary trait, this event may pop up. I believe it is either a +1.5 or +5 extra chance of a revolt popping up in a province. Likewise, if your steward has the Just trait, you can get an event that decreases revolt risk.
Laks celebrates the end of the war by hiring a guru.
In case you're wondering, you can only hire a guru once in your life.
A few minutes after he sends the letter, a mysterious man presses a book into his hands. Laks calls out for the man but he is already gone. There is nothing to do but study the book.
This little event gives us the opportunity to get the Scholar trait, a lifestyle trait that gives us +2 learning and +20 opinion with all other Scholars.
Laks thought Bhima was a genius. Bhima had nothing on Vallal Sen.
The mysterious book continues to be mysterious and not even all his councilors can help him out. Laks gives up on trying to decipher it. He does gain a love of books from it.
We've now got the Scholar trait. I also wanted to show you my council. As our empire gets bigger, we'll get access to better councilors. As of right now they're pretty good.
The little red arrow is pointing to the fact that my spymaster has set up a spy network. If you remember way back at the very beginning of CapnAndy's LP, he said to set your spymaster to scheme and never move him. This is good advice, but sometimes you need someone dead and getting your spymaster to set a spy network in the province they are in currently (NOT the capital, pay attention to where the character screen says they are) will improve the chances of assassinating them. I just have a habit of not remembering to put them back in the capital.
Laks' wife calls him to help her settle in to the new place and swat the occasional rebel.
"My lord, the Pope has called for a Crusade against Andulasia!"
"Nevermind."
War took away Rayan's kindness. It now takes Laks' charity.
Laks 
Laks' wife calls him into a more dangerous war - a claim host war. Laks and the Spice Marines are caught off guard during an attempt to divide and conquer. But Laks is a patient man and he waits for the center flank to come to a chokepoint. Here, he and his soldiers slaughter the enemy. The enemy general leading the flank is beheaded in melee by one of Laks' bodyguards.
The enemy's right flank has completely collapsed and the Spice Marines cut them en masse.
The left is in dangerous of falling apart, but once Laks is done with his flank, he will go to aid them.
All right, another battle screen. We are the defender in this battle, which gives several advantages, all of which have to do with Laks' traits. Remember, Laks has Patient and Brave, which gives his flank +20% defense (meaning it takes less casualties) and +10% morale defense (which makes them less likely to flee). Combined with his Flat Terrain Leader (+20% overall when fighting on Plains, Farmland, or Steppe terrain) and his high martial skill, Laks' flank is fighting with the strength of a much larger force.
The battle ends with a smashing victory for Laks. The Spice Marines cut down three men for every man they lost despite being outnumbered. The war ends shortly after.
My side is on the left and the enemy is on the right. Over half of our casualties were archers (who don't do well in melee at ALL) but otherwise we hardly took any casualties.
The enemy - ouch. Those light infantry were slaughtered. So were the pikeman. And the heavy infantry. The guys who got the least proportionate casualties were the light cavalry and they lost half their numbers.
We also got a fair amount of prestige for that battle as well, almost 100.
One of the royal elephants goes berserk and starts attacking random objects outside of the castle. Laks sends his soldiers to kill it.
This is an Indian-province exclusive event. Either you can try to capture or kill it and the results are random. If you manage to subdue it, your peasants feel protected and there is less revolt risk. If you fail to subdue it or do so in an ineffective manner (like it goes on a rampage as your soldiers try to kill it), you get increased revolt risk.
With the help of her new palace beauticians, Iracaticci looks presentable now. Laks works up the courage and a child is conceived one Sunday night.
I was starting to get worried that Ugly reduces fertility, but the game says it doesn't.
"My lord, the Blessed Virgin has granted - hey, where are you going?"
Nine months later a son is born - Kalyanachandra. Unfortunately, he is a clubfoot. While life may be a bit more difficult, it is not a debilitating condition.
Clubfoot is a congenital trait, but as negative traits go, it isn't so bad. It gives -1 martial and -10 attraction, but compared to Slow (-3 to all stats) and Weak (-1 martial and health, -10 attraction, -10 vassal opinion, -5% fertility) it's quite alright.
A year later and Ira is pregnant again.
While Laks knows that it will be Kalayana who takes the throne, he still continues to raise Bhumi. Bhumi may at least be a good advisor to his brother.
While we can choose our heir at will due to Jainism, our wife is Hindu and she cannot. She has primogeniture, which means that the oldest eligible child, which is Kalayana, will inherit. Thus we have to make Kalayana the heir.
This can happen when you have the Just trait. However, it's a pitiful amount of gold and you should always get Just. Arbitrary can give events that give you tiny amounts of prestige, but that's no reason to pick it up.
Laks' devotion to the doctrines of his faith has made him one of the pillars of Jainism.
If we didn't already have a nickname, our nickname for finishing this would be "the Wise". This gives us addition piety, an opinion boost from our temple vassals, and Jainism's moral authority goes up by 1%.
The heathens continue to create more holy orders. Laks wonders why the priests of India don't make more.
Bhumi shows signs of cruelty in dealing with others and Laks decides to have a talk with him.
Bhumi seems to have listened to the lecture.
Years pass and it is time for Kalayana to be taught the Dhama of the king. He is already obeying one of the tenets "To be just to all, great and small."
Far away in the land of Egypt, the wanton debauchery of the Fatimids has proven to be too much for the faithful. Muslims from around the world have gathered in a massive army whose sole purpose is to restore the honor of the Caliphate.
When the AI controls Muslim empires, it's not if they'll have a decadence revolt. It's when.
One of Laks' relatives has sought his glory elsewhere and conquered the land of Kabulistan. It is the first time a Jain has ruled outside of India. Kabulistan will become a refuge for the exiles of Pala.
When you banish someone, they'll tend to go to a nearby country of their religion. If you are the only land of that religion, they go to someplace random. Like Wales. I have actually had banished Jains end up in Wales. That must have been a surprise for the local count.
More and more people are converting to Jainism and some local monks ask Laks' assistance in helping them. Laks' is happy to oblige.
This is a simple "give more money, get more stuff" event.
The gods reward Laks by curing him of his fever.
Not everyone is so approving and a peasant revolt breaks outs. It lasts up until the Spice Marines show up.
Kalayana proves to be a very honest boy, to the point of bluntness. But the dharma of the king is "To look someone in the eye and never tell a lie."
I want to go back to my past self and say "He's a Jain, he doesn't need to be Honest!"
It's been many years since a Pala visited the great university of Nalanda. Laks is eager to accept the invitation.
There are many things to do in Nalanda: visit the library, look at the architecture, view the artwork, but Laks is interested only learning from the monks.
Listening to their teachings strengthens Laks' convictions. So dedicated is he now to the cause of non-violence that he will punch anyone who disagrees with it.
Zealous is generally a good trait and since Laks won't be converting, it's even better.
Kalayana is a hardworking young man, an true example of a king-to-be. For "a king must work and not slack off, keeping at bay the sin of sloth."
Excellent! Diligent is great for our new emperor.
Laks receives some truly baffling news. Some provinces in the north have joined up with the Christian kingdom of France. When Laks asks why, his advisers simply shrug.
Crusader Kings!
He is so confused he actually gets sick, but fortunately, he recovers.
Kalayana comes of age. A skilled diplomat, a decent bookkeeper, and a very learned man, Kalayana is rather poor when it comes to battle and spycraft. He could have ended up worse though.
The same disease that took his father has now come for Laks.
Even his powerful mind fails him and Laks falls in a deep coma.
He never wakes up.
Next time: Hordes from the East