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Part 18: The Second Fall of Zoroastrianism
Deva:
ALRIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS, LET'S GET THIS STARTED.
We get Gardener and you can see that our country has gone from a soothing green to an eye-searing orange. Ick.
PEOPLE ARE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD, SO ARE WE.
WE'RE GONNA STRETCH THIS EMPIRE FROM SEA TO SEA.
A few decades after the Mongols show up, the Hansa will form. They're protected by the HRE and are very annoying for merchant republics in the north.
HEY, BOZORGIDS, YOUR LAND IS MINE.
I'M GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN A PEG OR NINE.
As Hindus, we can raid (click on the axe and torch icon that the red arrow is pointing to in order to activate raiding) members of different faiths than our own. This means that we can loot other provinces for money. At this point there's no reason to do this but boredom, but later on we'll troll the hell out of the Ilkhanate with this.
Golbahar:
What's all this nonsense?
You think you're a badass, just what have you done?
You've taken over an empire your daddy had won.
Meet our neighbors, the Bozorgids. The Bozorgids start with this guy, the eponymous Bozorg. He was the leader of a small religious rebellion that succeeded. Bear in mind that these pictures of the Bozorgids were taken about twelve years after the previous picture was taken.
From the chaos of the land we formed law and order.
From Afghanistan to the ocean we formed pretty borders.
The next in his line was his son, Khashayar. Khashayar conquered the Satrapy of Merv in a holy war.
I made myself queen from the blood of my enemies.
All the world now knows of my zealotry.
After him was perhaps the greatest of the Bozorgids, Golbahar. She formed the kingdom of Afghanistan and seized many territories in the wake of the Mongols. She is currently alive at the time of raiding, which is about 1250 AD.
Deva:
WHATEVER, WOMAN, I GOT AN AXE OF +2,
YOUR PRETTY BORDERS AIN'T GONNA SAVE YOU.
THEY CALL YOU "THE PIOUS", THAT AIN'T THAT SIGNIFICANT
WHEN YOU COMPARE IT TO ME, WHO THEY CALL THE MAGNIFICENT.
During raids, you can get little events like this.
MY VASSALS DON'T LIKE THAT I'VE BECOME HINDU
ONCE I'M DONE WITH THEM I'M COMING FOR YOU.
We have a few troublesome vassals to deal with. With the loss of Jainism's +30 vassal opinion, all of those guys who desire kingdoms of their own are getting rebellious.
WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW? I JUST TOOK YOUR LAND.
TIME TO GET THAT REPUBLIC I'VE ALWAYS PLANNED.
Seeing as we've just conquered Baluchistan, I decide to create a Merchant Republic. You create these by give a county and duke title to a mayor. Make sure it's on an oceanic coast. Putting it on the coast of the Caspian sea isn't going to work.
Merchant Republics make a pretty penny for their lieges, but there is a "Wrong Government Type" opinion malus that subtracts 30 points. Merchant Republics can be a little troublesome and due to their income, hard to bribe. However, if you give a bribe at the very beginning of a new Doge's reign, you can do it much more cheaply.
Kalyana:
Dad, they say it's better to give than receive.
Tell me, is this a worthy thing to believe?
Deva:
YES, FOR THAT IS PART OF THE DHARMA OF THE KING
THE MORE YOU GIVE, THE MORE FRIENDS YOU'LL BRING.
Choosing the first option gives Kalyana essentially +4 diplomacy, which is useful for Hindu rulers.
COME ON NOW, DON'T BE SHY, TALK TO PEOPLE
YOU NEED FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT EVIL
Choosing the second option is best, but I'm hoping for Gregarious.
THE LESS TIME YOU FIGHT YOUR SUBJECTS
THE MORE TIME YOU HAVE TO ANNEX
Yes!
Pope Innocent II:
I'm calling this meeting to discuss
A crusade to end all this fuss
The heathens must be driven
All who join up will be forgiven
The fall of Jerusalem (again) has led the Pope to call a Crusade against the Ilkhanate. The Ilkhanate has been weakened by years of fighting and most of their deathstacks were lost fighting the Golden Horde. The Pope might actually win this, especially since the Byzantines are now Catholic. Yeah I don't know what happened there.
Deva:
YOU'VE GOT A CRUSADE CALLED ON YOU? TOO BAD.
YOUR FRIENDS THE GOLDEN HORDE LOOK PRETTY SAD.
THEIR RULER WAS POSSESSED AND HIS SON'S ON THE THRONE
I'D SAY RIGHT NOW THEY'RE LOOKING FAIRLY BONED.
Wow. The Golden Horde has not done well this game. They barely took over the most eastern provinces of Russia. Cumania is now the dominant Russian Tengri power.
YOU'VE DONE A LOT, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT MUCH.
BUT YOUR SON THE HERETIC HASN'T DONE SUCH.
I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU WERE TO DIE?
I THINK WE COULD KISS YOUR EMPIRE GOODBYE.
I decide to have the Khan assassinated because
a) His son's an Old Tengri and I'm hoping to split the realm
b) I'm bored and need to amuse myself.
I SEE YOU'RE CONTINUING YOUR FAVORITE PASTIME
WHY DON'T YOU THINK OF SOMETHING ORIGINAL SOMETIME?
OH THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR RELIGION'S A SHAM
TAKING IDEAS FROM THE MOON AND THE LAMB
IT'S NOT ABOUT ENLIGHTENMENT OR PEACE
IT'S ALL ABOUT MAKING YOUR MONEY INCREASE
When Crusades and Jihads are unlocked, Reformed Pagans can launch their own version: the Great Holy War. Fortunately, the Tengris never use it.
This is an event you get when you have trade posts in your kingdom. However, we want trade posts in our empire, so I set aside the mob.
I'M SETTING MY MIND ON HIGHER THINGS, HOW 'BOUT YOU?
ONCE I DUST OFF THIS, I'LL BRING MY CREW.
This is a part of the "Improve Learning" ambition. Anyways, here's a link to the Shahnameh on Wikipedia.
YOU FANCY YOURSELF A RULER?
YOU CAN'T EVEN READ PERSIAN!
BETTER DRESS UP NOW,
WE'LL BE MEETING IN PERSON.
Two learning!
HEY KAVOOS, DON'T YOU KNOW THE GODS ARE ALL ONE?
IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU LEARNED I'M THEIR FAVORITE SON.
Expansion continues.
BATU, I GOT A SNAKE FOR YOU
IT'S BRIGHT AND SHINY AND IT'S BLUE
I PAID A KING'S RANSOM; YOU SHOULD BE PROUD
HOLD ON, DID I SAY ALL OF THAT OUT LOUD?
While most of the time plotting is free, sometimes you have to cough up the money. I believe this can happen when the plot chance is under 80%, but it's very rare and I've only seen it twice.
TOO LATE FOR YOU, YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD
YOUR BLOOD IS STAINING YOUR CARPETS RED.
That's that.
HEY KAVOOS, MY FRIEND, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
YOUR RESISTANCE PROVES TO BE YOUR UNDOING.
Once again we are attacking the Bozorgids.
Kavoos:
For the love of Ahura, leave me alone.
You've pillaged my lands and stripped them to the bone.
You want my lands? Take them, I don't need them anymore.
So depart from my sight, you got what you came for.
We were at 58% warscore when he gave me this message.
Khachigun:
You know who I am? I'm a Mongol warlord.
From Egypt to Turkestan I've led my horde.
You think your empire's so great? Compare it to mine.
What took you fifteen decades we did in less than nine.
You need karma to take a kingdom? That's lame.
Tribal Invasion's the name of the game.
I used to be a heretic, but I've seen the light.
Now it's time for me to put you to flight.
Here's the new Khan. Unfortunately, he's become Reformed, which means his vassal no longer hate him.
Deva:
YOU? PUT ME TO FLIGHT? THAT'S A JOKE.
IF YOU WANTED TO DO THAT YOU'D NEED TO GO FOR BROKE.
BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT, YOU'RE ALREADY IN TROUBLE.
THE POPE AND HIS ARMIES ARE REDUCING YOU TO RUBBLE.
'FORE YOU CAN BLINK I'LL BURN YOUR CITIES
MAYBE I'LL SPARE A FEW OUT OF PITY.
We of course declare war on him. It would be rude not to say hello. Our biggest strength in this war is our archer heavy retinues. With them, we can assault holdings rapidly. I got the war up to 100% warscore before I even saw the Ilkhanate's armies.
However, my encounter with them did not go so well. One detachment of the Spice Marines engaged the Mongols and was annihilated. Already facing unrest at home, I did not want my vassals to get any funny ideas. I accepted the Ilkhanate's peace offer, getting the provinces I wanted. I then spent all my money rebuilding my retinues. It was a very tense situation. Had my vassals decided to rebel, things would have gone very poorly for our Samrat Chakravartin. Thankfully, they decided not to rebel.
Pope Innocent II:
There is no man alive that can war against God
To Him alone be all glory and laud
The heathen armies have been driven away
Now the pilgrims can come to pray
It was the arrival of the HRE that turned things around. For years, things were in a stalement, but once the HRE shows up, things quickly go one way or the other.
Deva:
I've a good run, there's no need to cry.
Kalyana, wipe those tears from your eye.
You're a good man, you'll lead India to glory
It is the destiny of the Palas to make history.
It's your turn for the stage, Kalyana.
Next Time: Fighting the Liberators