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Epilogue: The Scream and the End of the World
While the army is away in Jerusalem, a claimant to the throne rises up back at home. The army has been devastated by recent defeats in the Holy Land.
And Marshal Ninjahedgehog passes away in his sleep at camp in Jerusalem.
But the claimant vastly overestimated his chances at victory and is thrown in prison.
A daughter is born to Ivan IV of Bulgaria.
Ivan is spending every penny in the realm treasury to keep his armies fighting. But his manpower is low and the mercenaries are getting restless for payment. But when he asks the Pope for support, the Pope refuses to send any money his way, stating that Ivan wouldn't use it for the faith. Ivan almost sends a letter back saying his money has been spent on nothing but the faith, but holds his temper.
This means he must expel the Jews from the land and seize their money.
Sad, yes, but money doesn't grow on trees.
Even with the extra money and reinforcements, Ivan doesn't have the troops to take on the Egyptians. Their numbers seem limitless.
However, more and more of the Bulgarians are adopting Serbian customs.
And Ivan comes to personally leads his army in the Crusade.
However, he has an upward fight ahead of him. While the Crusade won many early victories, the Crusaders were caught off guard by the Egyptian reinforcements and don't have enough soldiers to close the gap.
Ivan proves to be less of a warrior than his forebears.
That said, he does manage to capture some minor nobles.
He receives a letter from home informing of his first son. Ivan is jubilant.
Despite his general cowardice, Ivan is capable of bravery when backed up against a corner.
The Pope, after consulting his magic eight ball, decides to throw some money to Ivan.
Ivan is still fuming over the earlier denial of funds, and his desperate measures are beginning to take their toll on his realm.
But when all hope is lost for the Crusade, a massive coalition of dukes join the Crusade and sweep aside Egyptian resistance.
But amidst this good fortune, Ivan thinks of how much he misses his wife.
With the Egyptian armies scattered, the Crusade is just about done.
And Ivan is recognized for his efforts and is made the king of Jerusalem.
In the midst of setting up the new administration, Deceitful Penguin asks if he could help hand out the titles. Relieved, Ivan agrees to let him do so.
He regrets it almost immediately.
Ivan discovers the next morning that nearly his entire demense has been stripped away and given to vassals, he's been given control of useless churches and cities, and Deceitful Penguin has helped himself to several new titles.
A loud, ear-shattering scream comes from the capital. It reaches the King of Hungary and the Emperor of Byzantium. Then it reaches the Pope. The Khan of the Ilkhanate then hears it. The Yuan Emperor hears it. Strange beings in the Andromeda galaxy hear it, despite having no sense of hearing.
And God, in His mercy, ends that universe.
Thus ends the tale of Srbja.
Yep, it was a rage quit. I was expecting that Paradox put this option to make handing out titles easier. Instead, I lost all my good counties, got a bunch of incompatible ones, and my vassals got stronger. And this was on Iron Man.
Dammit.