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//Update 08

Hello everyone! Today's update is primarily about Kite's bad decisions. But before we get to the main event, we're gonna do a quick roundup of the last remaining story fields.



Gonna be honest, I have absolutely no idea what field this is. It's the one we were level grinding in earlier, but I don't know what its keywords were. It's one of the three we have left!











This guy here is the only new enemy, and he's just another recolor of something we've already fought a stronger version of.







One story field down, two to go!







Level 81 means it's all old news at this point.





I'm not the only one that sees this enemy's name and immediately thinks of Professor Farnsworth's gargoyle, am I?



Also for the first time in what I'm fairly certain is 70 levels, we fight Goblins.









You know, for being a level 81 field, there were a surprising number of new enemies to look at.



I told you these bastards came in data bug variety.





Psyche Vision? Good times.

That song always got stuck in my head for so long after I played that game. Well, the first minute of it got stuck in my head. Damn N64 limitations.

Anyway, that's two story fields down. Just one to go.





I don't believe I've ever posted a video of Dorin speaking. Dorin is one of those wandering AI fellows, the one with an upside-down A for a head. Mona Marshall voices him, as well as Kite, and she doesn't do a very good job of changing her voice between the two. So every time Dorin talks all you can hear is Kite with a slightly deeper voice.

For related reasons, I cracked up when I watched through Digimon Season 1 last year. It was hard to not hear Kite instead of Izzy.

The next time I post a video of Wiseman talking, just imagine these guys talking instead. (That link has lategame Psychonauts spoilers, so be warned.)











The blue wyrm marks the last new enemy in the update. We've reached the point in the game where absolutely nothing provides challenge anymore, and Wiseman isn't even on healing duty. He tops the group off after fights, but things just go so much faster with him just nuking the shit out of everything. Including bosses.







For those of you keeping track, we've gotten 1 W, X, Y, and Z core from these story fields. Tarvos also yielded a Z core when he was data drained. These five cores are what we need to enter the final dungeon of the game.

But that will be next time. For we've now reached our main event for the update.







These two women really like Kite, so they both asked him out to the same field. Kite, not having much experience with women, decided it was a grand idea to take them both at the same time.

Strap in guys, we're about to see some serious shit.




Video: *** THIS IS A PRO CLICK ***



: Oh... Blackrose is coming as well.

: Yeah. It's a lot easier with more people.

: Hmm... Ryoko had business here as well?

: Is that a problem?

: Not really.

: ............



Take a good look at that map. Study it hard. Keep it in mind.

: The passage is forked here.

: I think the right is the shorter.

: I'm sorry... but I think it is the left.

: Um... uh... which way should we go?



We're going to be following Ryoko's suggestions, and you'll see why at the end.

: I'm certain this way is shorter!

: Really? Isn't this way shorter?

: No. It's this way!

: What? Why are you so upset?

: It doesn't matter.

: Yes, it does!

: Which... which way should we go?

Kite is learning a very valuable lesson here in dealing with teenage girls: Be afraid. Be very afraid.



: It's this way!

: No! This way!

: Um... what's wrong with you two?

: What? There's nothing wrong.

: No, there isn't.

: ......

: So, which way?

: Please choose quickly.

: Um... OK...





: This time we're going right.

: No. We should go left.

: Hey you! Cut that out! Right is the way to go!

: What?! I wont take this anymore. Tell me why - why are you coming with us to this dungeon in the first place?

: Because I'm the one who invited him!

: Oh, is that true?



: Uh...

: So?

: I was invited by both of you.

: !

: Oh, I see...

: That's what it was...

: Sorry. Do you think that I should have just chosen one?

: Who knows. I think that you are the only one who can answer that question for yourself.

: How true. I agree. I think that BlackRose has it exactly right in my opinion!

: Uh...

: Whatever... I really don't care about it anymore.

: Maybe we should just go back.

: Well, I'm going to the right.

: And I'm going to the left.









: Hey...



Oh Kite you should have known that wasn't going to end well at all. Anyway, as you can see we've been abandoned.



For choosing Ryoko's path through the dungeon, we get an incredibly powerful rare axe that's only possible to get this way. If we take Blackrose's path, all we get is a Sun Fang weapon, which she's already wielding. In fact, I'm pretty sure at this point I've sold about eight of the buggers.



Poor confused Kite. I would quote or link that famous Kipling poem, but it would just feel trite.

Anyway, that was the last bit of levity left in the game.

NEXT TIME: Δ Reincarnated Purgatorial Altar