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Let's Antagonize IVAN
Part 3: We got all kinds of Screamies: living Screamy, dead Screamy, rat Screamy, Rube Goldberg suicide Screamy
We finally get around to returning to the last floor of the Underwater Tunnel. It looks a little different now that we actually have a light source. We also find an altar to Seges, the goddess of food.
Our ESP reveals the boss, Genetrix Vesana, hiding behind a wall. She goes down like a chump.
At last! Loricatus! We now know how to contact all three neutral deities. Loricatus is the god of metal things, basically. He's associated with the great majority of metal materials in the game, he can repair and upgrade our equipment for us, and we can make him incredibly pleased by just piling every random piece of crappy metal gear we find onto his altar. We do that now.
We try to eat some of the food we've found before it spoils, and overeat. We can voluntarily projectile vomit onto an adjacent tile with perfect aim, but when something makes us vomit involuntarily, we profusely barf all over ourselves.
For instance, we just barfed half-digested beef and pineapple onto our own helmet while wearing it. This is in addition to our mace, our armour, our cloak, and one of our gloves. Hopefully that vomit doesn't corrode our gear any. We offer the rest of our slightly rotten food to Loricatus, who graciously accepts it.
We pray to Loricatus, and he repays us for our copper spears and rotten pineapples by reforging our +3 steel dagger. Now it's made of meteoric steel! We were kind of hoping he'd fix our mithril chain mail, but this is good, too. We'll just pray to him again a little later. We thank him by collecting all the random garbage lying around the dungeon and dumping it on his altar. He is tickled pink by our piety.
Remember the super secret hubris death place? We're gonna poke our heads in there for just a moment, to see if there's anything good in view. The golems down there will fuck us up if we fight them, so we make sure we have a wand of teleportation ready in case one follows us up the stairs.
Oh god. IVAN remembers your previous deaths and stores the level on which you died in a bones file, which can sometimes be reloaded as a "new" level on another character. This guy died next to the stairs, so now we get to contend with his ghost and this golem. Great!!
Whew. We teleport the golem away. I don't know if I like our chances against this ghost with our torso smashed to shit by an angry golem fist, so I go up the stairs. The ghost chases us up the stairs. 
We end up having to drink half a bottle of healing liquid after he "awfully touches" our torso and we almost die, but then we hit him a bunch and he's sucked into hell. Let's go find his corpse and see what living Screamy can steal from dead Screamy.
Oh yes. Oh my yes. This will do very nicely.
We strip dead Screamy of his earthly possessions. He doesn't need them in hell.
Fuck. These golems are really fast, and one has managed to close with us and chase us up the stairs. We teleport ourselves, and IVAN moves us an insultingly short distance. We run away and the golem never follows us. We will not be returning here until we're ready to rampantly out-cheat heroically battle the very strong opponent we carelessly dragged in.
But that's okay, because we have our predecessor's stuff now. We're pretty decently equipped!
Feeling peckish, we return to New Attnam and kick bananas. We drop Peel Mountain next to the banana store and the tourist child once again manages to kill himself on it.
We chase the other tourists around with Peel Mountain for a while, but only the father is foolish enough to brave its fury. The mother escapes, for now. Peel Mountain slumbers, ever hungry, in the doorway of the Asshole Village Owner's mansion.
We return to Frog Hell and delve to the second floor. The shopkeeper here has an artifact short sword that makes us permanently invisible as long as we're wielding it! We pawn Dead Screamy's belt of levitation and buy it. We are now the invisible lord of the skies.
We use our mithril pick to break into a set vault guarded by meteoric steel walls. Unfortunately, we don't have the key for the chest, and it's probably too strong to break into. Plus it's likely full of really valuable stuff that we might break if we try to kick it open. We'll come back to this.
We find an altar to Santa. His room contains a lamp! Sadly, there is no genie in this lamp. We trudge glumly on, wishless, and cheer ourselves up by destroying and eating a pork golem. Then a giant eye paralyzes us next to a dark frog and get get beaten on a bit.
A wand of mirroring. This is a good find. It can be used to temporarily duplicate things. Things like scrolls 
We need to be smart enough to finish reading the scrolls before they vanish, but we have Plans for that, too.
Speaking of wands, we found a wand of polymorph earlier. We collect a bunch of random garbage and rocks, stack them in piles of 5 in a line 5 tiles long, and zap the whole mess with our wand.
This is called polypiling. The items produced are totally random, but with luck, you can get some very good stuff. Plus, you can just re-polypile anything you don't like, at least until your polymorph wand runs out of charges. We get an artifact spear, a can of ommel snot, two carrots, several miscellaneous scrolls/potions/wands, and many cans of banana flesh before our wand goes dead.
Then we rearrange everything into a big cross-shaped pile and break the wand in half, polypiling it one final time. This also turns us into a carnivorous mutant bunny, which is insanely fragile and wimpy, and cannot wear or use any of our items. That's an incredibly bad stroke of luck.
A large rat comes around the corner - in our current form, it can definitely kill us. We pray to Silva for an earthquake, and discover that one of the polypile items was a wand of lightning. It explodes and fries us. Impossibly, we survive. Even more impossibly, the rat survives both the earthquake and the exploding lightning wand, and bites us. We die.
IVAN.
I pretty much expected us to die abruptly in some way, but I couldn't have asked for a stupider, more IVANish death than this. On future runs, I'm going to gloss over 95% of what we've seen so far; I mainly wanted to explain some of the core concepts so people will understand what's happening when I do them later. You can probably expect future updates to be more like an insane highlight reel than anything resembling a coherent Let's Play. 