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Now that we've gotten our fill of federally-protected bird intestines, let's get back on our journey.



Oh hey, wonder if they're friendly?



Should sneak up, just in case.



I'm not sure I want to know how you got that surname. Who's in charge around here?




I bet you are, guy. Tell me more.




I admit, I laughed out loud here. I wasn't expecting the game to be so self-aware.



Fine, be that way. Useless....

Baaaaaack on the road, again.



How am I going to get past all these rivers? I might have to swim it....



Oh hey, it's a waterfall. I'm not going to risk swimming that. Getting pulled over the edge doesn't sound like much fun. I decide to wait for the river to freeze at night.



Aaaaand... there it is.



We're here! Time to do what we came here for.



These kobolds must be the "vermin" we're supposed to take care of. I think that can be arranged.



Engage super sneak mode! I assume the colors have something to do with how likely we are to be spotted. I'll just try to stay out of sight and take them out one at a time.



My first victim!





Headshot! Who's next?



Dude, stop freaking the fuck out. You're the one who wanted to do this.



Hi there!








Shut up! They're gonna hear you!




More dead kobolds and more self-agonizing from the peanut gallery.




Oh, it didn't kill him... gimme that back!



This is the wrestling menu. It lets me grab on to stuff - including stuff stuck inside our target's body.



Since we have two hands, we can do two things at once. I choose to go for a punch in the neck at the same time.



You asshole! I liked those teeth!




Yeah, how do you like me now? Huh?






The fucker goes flying, and I manage to rip my scimitar out of his stomach while he does.



I manage to throw him pretty far down a hill, and he skids along the ground into a bush.











You're next, if you don't shut the fuck up!

At this point, I recommend some background music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXXYDAupWoM




















































I will not go out like this!

















Well, there we go. One utterly fucked up kobold camp.




We search the remains for loot and assess our condition.



MY BEARD!









Wha... what happened? I must have blacked out for a minute. Oh well, no matter. Time to go turn this quest in!



So the way you do that in this game, is you go to the nearest town and yell at everybody about all the shit you've killed. I'm not kidding.



Not shown: This same thing repeated for every kobold in the camp, minus the two that managed to run away.

So, here's how we ended up after this episode:





Not too bad. I have a few things in mind for possible things we can go do now, so I'll leave it up to you all to decide. Should we:

- Continue doing progressively harder quests and errands, building up fame and followers, eventually leading a massive army.
- Seek out the secrets of life and death, eventually leading a massive army of undead zombies
- Journey to the center of the earth
- Commit regicide