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Omni-Dragoon Flight 5: Jump The Moon
So when we last left off, oh, sometime before the Four Job Fiesta, Jordan killed some jackass bosses and got himself a boat.
Also he got himself a lame spear that at least does nice damage to lightning-weak enemies. I DO like those numbers!
But not like these guys are much of a threat anyway. 
You know who IS a threat? These jerks that I run into during a trip to check out Jachol. Self-Destruct hurts when they do it from full HP. I start running from these groups after this. (I also run from Bio Soldiers after a barrage of Bios brings a second wipe. Fuck those guys too!)
Deaths from random fucking encounters: 2
PIANO!
When the game breaks the fourth wall, you fucking listen. No telling what else it'll break. So I dance! 
Seriously, waste of time stealing it.
Jachol and its weapon shop are depressing me, so I go find this crescent-shaped island that I forget the name of.
This seems like a good place to park the ship!
WHAT.
HOW'D IT GET BACK THERE?! Galuf, did you forget to set the parking break? This update is quickly going to the dogs.
Forget Exdeath, THIS guy is the most evil being in FF5. 
PI. AN. O.
Seriously, what? I hate this town!
Oh good, a hint to get off this goddamn island.
Indeed not. Now, dragon racing, on the other hand...
: It ends here! Indign-
: GET OUT.
We catch a flying version of Not-a-dragon and it does an awesome dance. This is the best day.
Anyway, we take Not-a-dragon-either-but-he-flies-so-he's-still-rad over to Walse.
Where I fight Shiva, just because I can.
She hits hard, as usual.
The difference is, I hit harder.
Level: Between 22 and 24, I forgot to write it down again.
Deaths: 0
We also find the place where Jordan first lept into adventure. Wait, how did he leave?
Whatever, we have a flashback where Jordan first learned to Jump by jumping onto roofs. Parkour!
Blasphemy.
We also see some parental backstory. Afterwards, we go and chat with some villagers.
And find one that apparently has the hots for him.
: Uh, well, we'll see, I might have to... continue adventuring! Yes! Later!
: Jordan, that was rather rude.
: Yeah, boy, she's pretty darn attractive.
: What's your deal, mate?
: She shares a sprite with my mother.
: ...Ah. How awkward.
: Forget we said anything, then.
: Let's just leave already.
Hey, progress! Cid and Mid in the running for MVNPCs.
We don't have that magic (yet), and apparently jumping over the right spots is out, so let's just get on with our goal.
Our goal of killing a giant sandworm to make a bridge! Sure, why not.
Anyway, as many of you already know, Sandworm switches holes repeatedly, and attacking a hole that he's not in will result in a Gravity counter against a random target. Also, this here was damage from a normal attack. Sandworm is always assumed to be in the back row, so short-range weapons like spears will do half damage. So I turn to another option.
Shown: Basically the entire rest of the fight. Jerk has 3000 HP, so this takes a while.
Level: 24
Deaths: 0
Pretty boring fight. The only thing to be aware of if you try this yourself is that !Lance is a physical ability that has two separate damage formulas, so if he switches holes after you choose your !Lance action, you're going to eat a pair of Gravity spells.
Seriously Jordan you coulda jumped this far you lazy shit. Anyway, as I make my way through the sands, I remember to throw !Steal on Jordan.
This is why. This spear can only be obtained from this particular enemy, and I don't believe he shows up once you move on to world 2 or 3, so this is your only chance to grab one. He doesn't give it up very easily...
...But it is VERY much worth the effort. 
Anyway, Ruins! We move up and... wait, is that...?
I thought so! Get back here, fucker, I see you!
Dammit, probably should've equipped Find Pits.
HEY! That's mine! Put it back where you found it! You're about to lose your nomination!
: Jordan, if you segue to an airline food bit we'll all have to hit you upside the head.
Cid tinkers with some knobs and we have ourselves a flyboat! THIS IS THE BEST DAY.
Crap, we got other business first.
Cray Claw's opening action is the ever-familiar Tail Screw. Jordan counters with Jump from his new Javelin.
...AND the Trident with the lightning-element that Claw is weak to. Bless you, Dual-Wield.
Only 2000 HP. Bwa ha ha. 
Level: 24
Deaths: 0 
Hmm, I've still got more to go, but this update is getting kind of long. Guess I'll cut it here for the moment.
Next time: The right to rule the skies is challenged yet again!