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Episode XIV: Spend My Night
"That night, we talked for the first time. I didn't know it then, but after that night, everything changed. For everyone... For me..."
"Let me introduce you to the team."
*turns to the Aurochs* "This guy wants into the tournament so bad, I let him on the team. His memory's a little fuzzy, so don't mind him if he says anything odd!"
"Or sacrilegious. Or just even plain stupid!"
"Hey!"
*shoves Tidus forward* "Come on, say hi."
"Uh... Hi, guys."
The Aurochs mumble and murmur in response...
"To do our best!"
"Ugh!"
"Nope, we got a new goal now!"
"To win every match, to defeat every opposing team! To bring the Crystal Cup back to our island!"
"Yeah, that's right. No more of this lame after-school special 'do your best' crap. From now on this team is gonna be winners. We're going to go to the other team's town, stomp their asses, eat their food, drink their booze, sleep with their women, and tell them the next morning that we'll call them after we leave... But we won't! Cuz that's not what winners do. Also... I don't think Spira has telephones..."
"That's all we need to do to win! Easy, ya?"
The Aurochs start really getting into the notion of actually winning a game for once in their careers. But Tidus' focus...
...is on other things at the moment.
Tidus ditches the Aurochs' victory cheer leading and wanders over toward the summoner girl...
"Stay away from the summoner!"
"You're a bad man!"
"Stop dressing like a five year old!"
"Put on a jacket that fits, heretic!"
Summoner Yuna gets up...
"But... it was really my fault... to begin with."
*rabble rabble*
New Music: Daughter of the Great Summoner
"Thank you so much for your help earlier."
"Huh... Err... I'm sorry about that."
"The toxin got Sins on me... Wait, no...!"
"Oh, no. I was... overconfident."
*cricket chirp*
*gasp* "Really?!”
”Totally! I mean... how many times are you going to see someone like summon a giant bird with boobs. That’s wild!”
“Do you think I can become high summoner?"
*nods*
”Err... Well, I’m not sure what the whole herbal situation is on Besaid. I’m kinda new here. I bet Wakka knows. But tot--err...”
“...?”
“...We’re not talking about the same kinda ‘high’, are we...?”
A kid runs over to Yuna...
*smiles and nods*
<I hate kids SO much!>
The child runs off, satisfied with her cockblock of Tidus...
"Tomorrow?"
”Right on. Whew. And here I thought I was totally striking o--”
"We're going on the same boat, aren't we?"
"Oh, really?"
"We can... talk more.”
“Huh...”
Yuna begins walking away, but stops short...
”You’ve got it.”
*smiles and walks off*
“...Wait, was that sarcasm...? Ergh... Crud...”
Wakka wanders over...
We’re given an option of responses here. Unlike the whole “you know how to pray, ya?” question, this one actually does effect something. A stupid hidden mechanic called the “Affection Level”. You know the whole date mechanic in Final Fantasy VII where a variety of responses to questions across the bulk of the first disc would determine whether Cloud would go on a date with the love interest that dies the end of the first disc, Tits Mcgee, jailbait, or a burly black man? It’s pretty much like that.
There is like one three minute scene it effects and two or three extremely quick ones later on, along with a slight cosmetic change to one of Tidus’ abilities at the end of the game. I’m not going to go out of my way to show off everything regarding this mechanic for the simple reason of “fuck that noise” considering the mechanic is also tied into the battle system and whomever Tidus heals/hits during battles. There’s an entire spergy guide about it on GameFAQs if you’re really interested. I’m just simply stating I know it exists and don’t give the first fuck, so don’t ask.
That one large scene it does effect on the snowmobiles I’ll show off all the variations. Mostly because it takes about five minutes to change affection levels simply by having Tidus murder the characters he doesn’t want affection with, having someone else revive them, and doing it again. Then tossing some potions on the one he does want to be BFFs with.
Anyway, all that said. Having Tidus say he thinks Yuna is cute apparently gets you +4 Affection Points towards her because that makes perfect sense for a conversation she didn‘t participate in. 
”That’s a double negative, chief. Besides...”
*glares*
"Hey, but what if she, like, comes on to me?"
"That's not going to happen.”
”Pfft. You obviously don’t know me that well. I mean, I haven’t even initiated the T.I.D.U.S. Method yet.”
“...The what now?”
“Tch. A master never reveals his secrets.”
“In your dreams. Did she even catch your name, brudda?”
“...”
“Like I said, that‘s not happening.”
“...Shut up.”
“If you get tired, let me know. I had a bed made for you."
Welp, if Tidus attempts to approach Yuna again one of the shrill old bats hovering around her tells him to “staaaaaay awAY from thaaaa summonnna!” So I guess all we have to do is hit the sack.
Later that evening...
"Would you... take me... to Zanarkand?"
”I told you I scored two tickets on the flying ferry there just this morning.”
“Hey!”
"Oh, hey... I, uh..."
”Look, you’re kind of young and not quite as uhh... developed so...”
*turns away "He did?"
*rubs neck* “Uhh...”
*nods* "Yeah, so you're coming with me!"
”Ladies, ladies. There’s enough of the T-Bone for everyone here! Ahaha.”
"Hey! Stop dreaming!"
”Pfft. Speaking of balls, when are yours gonna drop? You still sound like a six year old girl. Hehe! Your mama put enough product in your hair to make you feel like a big boy this morning, sunflower?”
”Shoulda named you Teardus. Sounds about as stupid as your regular name. Though my friend here suggested 'Faabo Jykehy' and that’s got a nice exotic ring to it too.”
"I hate you."
”I thought I heard you try to speak some words but I couldn’t hear it over the sound of blubbering pussy.”
”Yeah. Come on. We’re outside. Stop suckling on your mama’s tit for a minute and speak up, crybaby.”
"I hate you!"
"Eh?"
“That’s the spirit!”
”Shut the hell up! People are trying to sleep!”
Tidus realizes he was dreaming just in time to overhear a conversation outside that happens to be all about him. Not wanting to return to dreams of getting trolled by his father just yet, Tidus decides to get up and eavesdrop on the discussion.
“But no matter what he looks like, he isn't Chappu.”
Take a look at this right here. This is Lulu’s lower half. It is a skirt. Made entirely out of belts. Tetsuya Nomura designed an article of clothing composed out of nothing but belts. Supposedly, it was to test the CGI modeling team’s abilities. Probably because one of them made fun about his belt and zipper fetish and he overheard. I guess while doing this spiteful design, nobody told him it was for a native of a tropical island... That said, the folks who render FMV Land took one look at that and went “fuck THAT noise!” As such, this right here is pretty much the only time in the entire game we see Lulu from the waist down during a FMV.
For the vast majority of scenes she’ll either be only shown from the waist up, will conveniently be absent from events, or in a few instances she’ll just straight up vanish briefly. It’s pretty funny when you notice it.
But really, fuck you Nomura.
"Yeah, but...he needed our help!"
"Excuses again?"
"Yeah, but..."
"That's it. No more. Enough, Wakka!"
And with that Lulu storms off. If you cannot guess, Lulu is kind of a jerk. I’m pretty sure people only put up with her shit because she’s got huge knockers ready to flop out of her ridiculous dress at any moment. Especially with the whole world weary ice queen persona she puts on at the grand old age of...22.
Wakka shrugs and wanders over to the Crusader’s Lodge that Tidus is staying in for...some reason...
“So... who's Chappu?"
"My little brother, Chappu. He looked like you."
"He's dead?"
I just want to stop for a moment. Early on in the game Wakka and Lulu go on about how Tidus looks just like Wakka’s dead brother, Chappu. Except, to spoil a very minor bit, we see Chappu later in the game in... well, let’s call it a flashback. And... he doesn’t look ANYTHING like Tidus.
Hell, he’s some concept art of Chappu. Yeah... Just not seeing it...
Tidus and Wakka go back to the beds to talk even though there are clearly other people trying to sleep in the room...
“I first heard on the day of the tournament."
"Oh, so that's why."
”Yeesh... Foot meet mouth. Sorry about what I said earlier.”
"I became a guardian to fight Sin, ya?"
"Revenge, then?"
"That was the idea. Heh... I'm more worried about a stupid game now than avenging my brother.“
“I know it kinda looks like I'm using you... but I'm not."
"Don't worry. I mean, I owe you a lot... You really... helped me out, you know?”
”Besides, it’s not like you’ve gotta twist my arm to make me play blitzball. Just no twisting my arm for other reasons, though. That hurts! Well...”
"Hehe. Stop, you're embarrassing me!"
New Music: Good Night
And with that our first, and only, night on Besaid Island draws to a close.
Video: Episode 14 Highlight Reel
Yuna Official Art - Well, after Tidus and Wakka's atrocious designs, this looks downright sensible.
Lulu Official Art - Fuck you, Nomura!