Toggle Background Color
Episode XXXIII: Laugh My Ass Off
Music: Luca
Well, you heard Auron. Time to go join up with Yuna’s entourage proper like. This translates to the player having to hike clear across Luca to find the next cutscene. A staple in any JRPG’s gameplay.
A minute of backtracking across maps and loading screens later…
"Sir Auron knows him, apparently. You were right. He did meet someone he knew."
"Do you think he'll find a way back to Zanarkand?"
”No.”
“Not really.”
<Kimahri not even edited properly into this scene…>
"In any case, I'll miss having him around."
"He's still in town, isn't he? I think I'll go see him...”
*looks over and gasps* “Oh!"
Music: Auron’s Theme
"Sir Auron?!"
Wakka, Yuna, and Lulu give Auron the blitzball prayer…
"Yuna."
*nods* "Sir?"
"I wish to become your guardian. Do you accept?"
“!?”
"You serious?"
"You refuse?"
"No, no! We accept! Right, everyone?"
"But...why?"
"I promised Braska."
"You promised… my father?”
*grunts* “I presume we’ve had incidental exposition explaining my previous guardianship?”
“Ya. That’s been covered.”
“Good.”
*bows* “Thank you, Sir Auron! You're welcome to join us!"
Auron grabs Tidus by the arm and yanks him forward…
”…So is this a package deal only or…”
"Is Sir Jecht alive?"
"Can't say. Haven't seen him in ten years."
”Wait a minute! You JUST told me Jecht was S—“
“…Seen last ten years ago. Correct?”
*glares*
“R-Right…”
"I...see."
"You'll meet eventually."
"Yes, I'm looking forward to it!"
”…..You’re getting off to this kinda stuff, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
<Hmm… What do we have here…? Braska’s daughter… A washed up blitzball meathead… A short Ronso… And a pair of breasts about to pop out of a dress…>
Auron decides Lulu is most worthy of his time…
“Where are we headed?"
"Hey come with me!"
I just love games which end a cutscene and then make you walk three feet to trigger the next one.
Yuna whistles loudly. I guess she was busy getting lessons from Lulu and Kimahri during that whole fiend attack on the blitzball stadium. Summoners have to have their priorities, you know.
"You sound sad."
"Plus you’ve been kind of pouting and kicking dirt in the background since you’ve gotten here…”
"Yeah, maybe."
"…Wanna scream?"
"Mmph… I really don't think that's gonna help this time."
”Kind of dealing with some heavy stuff right now…”
“Like…?”
“…Can’t really talk about it because… eh… it is…err… complicated…? Complicated sounds like a good word.”
Music: Yuna’s Theme
"You know what? It's embarrassing to say this myself... But summoners and their guardians are kind of like Spira's ray of light. A lot of people in Spira depend on us. I learned… to practice smiling… when I'm sad, you know? I know it's hard."
"Yeah... I understand. I think."
”Not really helping to make today any less of a downer but…”
"Huh?"
*gestures forward* "Come on!"
”…Come on what? Fake smile…?”
*nods*
“O…kay…”
”Come on. What is that…?”
“You can do better…”
“Is that your best. Come on! Smile harder!”
“Harder!”
“Harder!”
“Gimme a break, man. This is early 2001 graphics’ peak! Anymore and the polygons on my face are gonna…”
“Harder!!”
“WAAAAAH!!”
“Oh my gosh! Too hard! You’re smiling too hard!”
“I…I CAN’T STOP!! I CAN’T STOP IT!!”
“W-What?! What… what should I do?!”
“Get me a… Umm… Go get a doct—no! A scientist! Go get a scientist!”
“Okay. Just hold on!”
"What?"
*motions forward* "Come on, show me!"
”When have you had to fake laugh…?”
“Have you ever heard Wakka tell a joke…?”
“Sure… he’s joked around some. What’s so bad abo—“
“Have you ever heard Wakka tell an Al-Bhed joke…?”
“…Now by ‘Al-Bhed joke’ do you mean a joke Al-Bhed guys tell or the type where it is…”
“…Incredibly racist and intensely uncomfortable for everyone in the room? The latter.”
“…”
“…Right then. Fake laughter…”
Tidus takes a deep breath and…
“Aha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.”
“Ah. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha!”
<…I have made a terrible mistake…>
“Ah. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha!”
*inhales*
“…”
“Ah. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha!”
After that incredibly awkward prolonged fake laughter the two finally laugh like actual human beings.
*chuckle* "It was your idea!"
"Um...thank you.”
“Hm…?”
“I want my journey to be full of laughter."
"Okay."
”Is Kimahri fair game to goof on or will he rip my arms off if I try that…?”
“You are on your own testing that one.”
“…Noted.”
"If we should get separated, just whistle. I'll come running. I promise."
*gets all bashful* "Well, let's go."
Tidus turns to see everyone rightly giving him a bewildered stare…
<Kimahri looking at a goddamn fool…>
<Never should have made that promise to Jecht…>
“Sorry!”
“Well then, alright. Now, we will go to the temple of Djose. And guardians? Don't forget to smile!"
And thus concludes our goofy ass adventures in Luca. Tune in next time when the game will actually let us play it some! And yet there is still a half dozen cutscenes!
Episode 33 Highlight Reel (Recommended viewing)
Early Tidus, Auron, and Yuna Concept Art