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Extra Episode B: Inspect My Uniform

We have seen quite a bit of the Crusaders recently and their whole role in the plot seems to be quickly coming to a head. Despite having been an official arm of Yevon for over 800 years and composing likely the largest military force on the planet the Crusaders never really got a handle on that whole “uniform” thing. As such, their organization has no less than 15 distinct outfits (not even counting named characters’ attire.)

Funnily enough, the earlier draft of Final Fantasy X had a designated Crimson Blades uniform. I’m not sure if high heels are the best fightin’ footwear but given the present day incarnation, it isn’t too far of the mark.

So let’s take the time to have a quick gander at the Crusader’s uniforms before ~~they all die horribly against Sin~~ their final triumph against Sin.

First up we have what I assume to be the lowest ranking Crusader outfit. It at least looks vaguely like a cheap fantasy military outfit. It at least features boots and a bit of leather armor. Sure that cap could be a bit better fitting but this wouldn’t be too bad as a regular grunt outfit.

There’s a slightly different blue variant of this uniform. Blue guys get double X knit-caps while Green guys get orange diamonds. The significance of this detail is a mystery.

This is the closet I found to a female variant of this outfit. Women seem to get much sturdier metal armor at the cost of not being able to see SHIT. I am fairly sure that is not some transparent Cobra Commander-esque helmet. I am quite positive that is just a big hunt of metal obscuring the fem-soldier’s range of vision for anywhere above her toes.

Here we have a somewhat similar outfit, perhaps of a higher ranking soldier. This fellow seems to get a bit better body armor and a decent helmet, but he has to trade in his and grieves for socks, sandals, and slacks. Well, hopefully Sin won’t go for low blows or kicks to the shins.

Next up we have about as stock standard a fantasy soldier uniform as you can get. But by far the most reasonable. The guy is properly armored covering all his bases. The most notable part is the fact he is issued a helmet with a proper visor for his eyes. I think this is one of the only Crusader uniform where the person wearing it can actually get a good view of the battlefield.

If I had to pick one uniform to stick everyone in to not look like idiots, this would probably be it. They would still look like a squadron of disposable Red Shirts, sure. But thems the breaks in fantasy military outfits.

Similar to the previous outfit we have what would probably work as a decent officer’s outfit. At least I assume the beard is a sign of experience and not just goony grooming behavior. It is not nearly as well armored. But you don’t send officers to the front lines. Just go find a female variant of this and you’d be set for an army.

Bring up the rear we have the samurai bird mask line of uniforms. Assuming those are actually functional eye holes and not just ornamental, I am assuming everyone in this uniform is suffering from

to accommodate the eye spacing.

If that is the case, about a third of the Crusaders are stocked with mentally handicapped folks since the bird mask uniforms are all the rage.

It even comes in tween size with extra ridiculous eyes and space marine shoulder pad accessories!

And of course we have the officer’s variant of these “special” outfits. I know this is an officer because this character model gets upgraded to a full character in X-2.

Don’t think the ladies are missing out on the ridiculous mask bandwagon. No sir. I’m not sure if pants are optional or if someone just played a prank on this poor girl.

The women folk also get aerodynamic luchador masks for Thursday night wrestling sessions in the Crusader’s lounge.

Now in red OR blue!

But don’t forget the Crusader’s elite kindergartener brigade. For this upcoming operation, the Al Bhed are employing them in the integral “Meja Pyed” role. That all said, I am afraid the 418rd Kindergarten Recon Squadron is a male only brigade. They do accept female applicants but… well…

…Let’s just say there is an unusually high wash-out rate girl scouts.

Welp, that about does it for the generic enlisted men and women of the Crusaders. I hope you enjoyed it. And as always…