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Greetings, everyone and welcome to Let's Play Earthbound! Today we're starting a new game.


Like all good JRPG's we need to find names for our characters; I've taken the liberty of making a few selections.


I think you'll approve. Let's establish the setting!


The year is 199x.


Onett, a small town in Eagleland.


Chuck's house.


Our hero sleeps peacefully on the left side of the screen, his slumber only slightly disturbed by the earth-shattering crash of something falling from the sky.


All good heroes should start their quests in their pajamas, but I digress; let's take a moment to look at our UI.

The bottom window shows Chuck's vitals (HP is life and PP is basically this game's version of magic but I'll get to that later).

In the left part of the screen is our money - the currency of this game is Dollars.

The top left menu is the main way to interact with the game.



Enough yammering, let's go check out that noise.


"Were you freaked out?"


At least we can steal her broken bat - I'm sure that will come to some use.


"And now you want to go check it out? Oh... ok. You'll sneak out of your room anyway, even if I asked you not to. At least change out of your jammies before you go."


Yeah, we're forced to change into our clothes... no pajama adventuring for us.





And now we get our first look at the outside world. Earthbound has a pretty cool pseudo 3-D thing going on with the shifted perspective. It's refreshing when compared to the countless top-down RPG's.


"We are going for the world record..."


"People are taking this meteorite situation too seriously."


We'll have more luck with the southern path from our house.


"you kids are wandering around, and, I'm hungry... I hate my job!"


"Even if I advise you not to go, it won't stop you, will it?"

Nope.


Hey look, more presents! If you hadn't noticed from my sister's room, presents are this game's "treasure chests." We'll find anything in there from cookies to GOD DESTROYING WEAPONS.


Speaking of weapons, I've got nothing equipped. Let's fix that.


That's better... (but not by much).


More cops doing nothing.


Bread rolls are nice; they heal about 30HP (effectively a full heal this early in the game).


I've always heard that you shouldn't speak to crazies living alone in the mountains, but oh, what the hell.


"It was a real mess for a while. I was fine because I always eat garlic and work out to help make my body stronger." "However, the weaker citizens probably fainted. I also want to tell you... whoops! I almost told you about my... Uh, by the way Chuck, did you check my billboard? I wrote the message myself. That's my real job, you know... I'm a billboard guy. Why don't you check out my work?"


Next time I'll listen to that voice in my head that tells me not to speak to crazies living alone in the mountains.


Oh, look... It's our neighbor, Pokey, being hyper as usual.


"Clear out. Of way out get my. Whoops, my mistake... I mean 'get out of my way!'"


"He's driving me nuts. Are you two friends?" [Y/N]

Hell no.

"You're not friends, but aren't you neighbors? C'mon, help me out here!"


"oops... I mean officer's way! You can go home now. Tomorrow I, Pokey, will tell you more about the strange meteorite. I'm fine here, but you're bugging the officers."


Yeah, fuck this; I'm out of here.


"It's late, scoot off to bed now." [Y/N]

Coming out here was a mistake.


But that won't be the only time we're disturbed tonight... this time there's some horribly frantic knocking at the front door.


You'd think that someone *ahem, the adult in the house MOM* would get the door.




See, this is what I'm talking about. I wonder what the dog has to say about all this.




Oh well, I wonder who it coul-


"When I took Picky to the place where the meteorite landed... Oh! Good evening ma'am. You're looking lovely as usual. *snicker* Anyway, as I was saying, the police that were guarding the meteorite landing left suddenly to deal with the Sharks. You know the Sharks, they're the local ruffians, and they were really going wild. Suddenly, I noticed that Picky was gone. I blame the cops... it certainly wasn't my fault at all. When my dad gets back, I know I'm gonna get it... You're my bestest friend. Won't YOU help me find Picky?" [Y/N]

No.

"If you refuse me, I'll say something that'll cut you like a knife. Will you come with me?" [Y/N]

Let me try this... hell no.

"Ok, I won't say anything to hurt you. Will you please come with me?" [Y/N]

Fine, anything to get out of this conversation loop.

"Ok, good buddy! Let's blow this popsicle stand... Before we go, why don't you say 'goodbye' to your mom. Don't you agree, ma'am?"


"The Cracked Bat in Tracy's room could help out at a time like this..."

Already stole it.

"No matter what anyone says, you're a courageous, strong boy. You're my very own natural born fighter... You'll go far... Remember to 'Go for it!' But, I think you should change out of your jammies before you leave."


For the love of all that is holy don't leave me with Pokey alone.


"Let's get going."


But what's this?


"'Work to exhaustion when you're young...' Have you ever heard of a weird saying like this? Just remember, I'm always behind you 100%. Don't be afraid. I know that you're brave. You can do it! Don't forget to call me periodically during your adventure. I can make a record of your progress when you call me. Oh yeah, I deposited $30 into your bank account. Do you have your ATM card? Withdraw your money from any cash machine and buy whatever you need. Good Luck, m'boy! I feel like such a hero! What? Well, the father of a hero, at least. Wa ha ha!"

Yeah, whatever Dad. Our curiously absent yet "supportive" father is actually the way to save the game. You can call him from any phone in the game to do this.


Let's go outside. But wait! What's that hiding in the bushes?


Random encounters in this game are different from the standard JRPG formula. You can actually see these as they come to you. If you really don't want to fight any battles, you can always leave the screen and come back and in most cases, the encounter will despawn. In this case, we're going to fight a runaway dog.


I'll be honest, battles in this game are kind of boring. I won't be showing too much of this, but here's an introduction so you can see what we're dealing with. The options are relatively self-explanatory, but I'll elaborate a little bit on them.

Bash is the standard attack command - Chuck will perform a melee attack with whatever weapon we have equipped. Goods gives us access to our items. Auto Fight will basically finish out the battle for us (sometimes you can die doing this so be careful - the AI isn't perfect). PSI gives us access to our psychic "spells." Defend will have our character sacrifice an attack to take less damage on the next hit (there is no reason to do this :v. Run Away is very self-explanatory.


All you need to know about this battle (and all of the upcoming ones) is that Pokey is useless.

Also, I leveled up and learned my first PSI ability - Lifeup α. Earthbound uses Greek letters to denote how powerful an ability is; the closer to the beginning of the alphabet, the weaker it is. In this case, Lifeup α will restore about 100HP (pretty overpowered for this point in the game) and costs 5PP to use.


Also there are crows. Spiteful crows who will steal your shit.
This one stole my bread roll.


Coil Snakes are pretty basic enemies. Just bash and move on.


Picky is contemplating his life under this tree (with Pokey as my brother, I'd be hiding at all possible opportunities as well).


(I wouldn't have come along... I'm outta here!)

Fuck you too, Snoop.




"Pokey! I've been looking all over for you... You see, Pokey got scared and ran away..."

I KNEW IT!

"Well, I'm glad that you're okay at least... Let's go home now. I bet Mom and Dad are worried sick about us. Geez! Sometimes I wonder which one of us is the real big brother."



[Y/N]

Not exactly...

"Oh, c'mon... You must hear it..."



"I'm from 10 years in the future. And, in the future, all is devastation... Giygas, the universal cosmic destroyer, sent all to the horror of eternal darkness... However, you must listen! Where I am from, there is a well-known legend that has been handed down from ancient times. It says 'When the chosen boy reaches the point, he will find the light. The passing of time will shatter the nightmare rock and will reveal the path of light.' You see, it is my opinion that you are that boy, Chuck. This I believe... Giygas' monstrous plan must have been set in motion somewhere on Earth... If you start to confront the enemy immediately, you may have time to counter the evil intentions of Giygas. Three things are of the utmost importance: wisdom, courage, and friendship. The legends from the ancient times tell of three boys and a girl who defeat Giygas... I will tell you more later. Go now! And do not be anxious about the future. You have much work to do, Chuck."

Hooooly shit, exposition!


Buzz Buzz will be an awesome member of our team for all of one fight.


"Three boys, he said? ...Uhhh... I'm not one of those three, am I?... 'Cause... I'm not into this kind of thing at all..."

Nobody expected you to be, Pokey.

"Geez. My heart is almost pounding right out of my chest!"


Good... let's just go home an-


Oh, come on!


"You've been successful at foiling Master Giygas' plans. But... Buzz Buzz, you must now surrender. You're no longer a hero, but just a useless insect. I'll stomp you hard!"


And of course, even though he offered us the option to surrender, he still takes us on. Even so, this is a gimmick fight.


PSI Shield Σ basically negates any PSI attacks that Starman Jr. will throw at us, which is good because that's all he does.


Pokey remains useless...


"He came from 10 years in the future to kill me, so we can't relax yet! From now on, you'll be fighting enemies sent by Giygas, as well as humans who have evil thoughts. They'll definitely make trouble during your adventure! Animals are also becoming violent due to Giygas' influence over the evil in their minds! It is the truth, so listen!"


Yeah, I'm going to dump these two at home. Picky's pretty rad, but Pokey I can do without.


"I'll have to think of a suitable punishment!"


"Both of you are really going to get it now!"


Sounds of child abuse echo from off scree-SWEET JESUS THAT MOTHER IS HORRIFYING!


"I'm tired of your family living next door. We've loaned your father a lot of money. It may have been a hundred thousand dollars or more... Well, I guess it really could have been less, but because of the loan, my family and I now live in poverty!"



Oh boy... we have bigger issues here.


No... NO DON'T DO I-





"...much weaker than I thought... So you must now begin your adventure... see... you...


...


"To defeat Giygas, your own power must unite with the Earth's... the Earth will then channel your power and multiply it... There are eight points that you must visit. Make these places your own... Each of these locations is 'Your Sanctuary.' One of them is near Onett. It is called 'Giant Step.' Go there first... Do you understand?" [Y/N]

Sounds simple enough.

"All right. You are a very intelligent young man... and... Oh! The Pain!... Everything is getting dark... urgh!... *Gasp*... Before I pass on, I want to give you something... It is the Sound Stone. You can record the melodies from the eight 'Your Sanctuary' locations into this stone. It is an awesome item... By the way... I'm almost gone, but did you want to hear the story one more time?" [Y/N]

As tempting as that sounds, I'm going to go with no.

"Good! It's already dawn outside... But it doesn't matter to me. I'm fading fast... Argh! *Gasp*"


Well, let's check out this Sound Stone thing...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hFk05oZSXk
Watch this video to hear the stone


I need some sleep...


"I'm a photographic genius, if I do say so myself! Okay, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the camera... Ready... Say, 'fuzzy pickles.'"




"IT will always bring back the fondest of memories...


Yeah... that just happened.


SLEEP!


All right, guys, that's going to end it for this update. Our hero was kind of thrust into this adventure against his will, but he seems to be okay with it, so I guess we're going to go along with it.

Next Time!
Chuck busts up the local gang and beats up a robot.