Toggle Background Color
Fire up those synths, Let's Play Vice City! (Hybrid LP) Chapter 1 - Ambush
Marco's Bistro, Liberty City 1986...
We enter with the Don of the Forelli family, Sonny Forelli, and two of his henchmen talking about the recent return of Tommy Vercetti, the Harwood Butcher.
Sonny: Didn't think they'd ever let him out.
Mobster 1: He kept his head down, helps people forget.
Sonny: People will remember soon enough. When they see him walking down the streets of their neighbourhoods, it will be bad for business.
Mobster 2: Well, what are we gonna do, Sonny?
Sonny: We been talking about expanding down south, right? Vice City is twenty-four carat gold these days. The Colombians, the Mexicans, hell, even those Cuban refugees are cutting themselves a piece of some nice action.
Mobster 1:But it's all drugs, Sonny. None of the families will touch that shit!
Sonny: Times are changing. The families can't keep their backs turned while our enemies reap the rewards. So, we send someone down to do the dirty work for us, and cut ourselves a nice quiet slice. OK?
Mobster 2: Ken Rosenberg, schmuck of a lawyer. How's he gonna hold Vercetti's leash?
Sonny: We don't need him to. We just set him loose in Vice City, we give him a little cash to get started. OK? Give it a few months. Then we go down, pay him a little visit, right? See how he's doing...
(I just thought I'd throw this in as a little bonus, because look at that meat freezer!)
Escobar International Airport, Vice City...
Here, Tommy and a couple of other fellows meet up with the neurotic lawyer Ken Rosenberg, ready to deal in some white gold.
Ken: Well, uh, I'm gonna drive you guys to the meet, okay? Now, I've talked to the suppliers and they are very, ah-heh, keen to start a business relationship, so, uh, if all goes well, we should, uh, be doing very nicely for ourselves, which is, y'know... good.
Ken: Okay, so. They're brothers, okay. One operates the, uh, the business, and the other one does the flying...
Later, at the Vice City Docks...
I love how they set up this shot. Helicopter decadence, truly a marvel of the 1980s.
Ken: Alright, here's the deal. They want a straight exchange on open ground, alright? Stay tight, let's go.
Alright, no sign of Officer Hardass, so it looks like we're in for a pretty safe deal!
Then again, maybe not.
Dealer: 100% pure grade-A Colombian, my friend!
Tommy: Let me see it.
Dealer: The greens?
Aw yeah, all there.
Dealer: I think we have a deal, my friend! Hahahaha!
Oh shit, indeed. To the Rosenberg-mobile!
Later, at Vice Beach, outside Ken's Office...
Tommy: Go get some sleep.
Ken: What are you gonna do?
Tommy: I'll drop by your office tomorrow, and we can start sorting this mess out.
And now we assume control of Mr. Vercetti for the first time! Controls in the PC version of this game are pretty standard, WASD for movement, mouse for aiming (Which makes Tommy's running animation look kind of weird sometimes). Pressing either the Return or F key will allow us to enter any vehicle that isn't locked, like Mr. Rosenberg's admirable Admiral, here.
A lot of this game will involve finding our way to pink, yellow or other coloured dots. This game was made in the days before minimaps would give you a direct line showing the path to your objective, so a lot of it is just down to plain navigational skills. After driving around for a bit, Michael Jackson on the radio is interrupted by a news broadcast:
Yep, the bridges to the other islands are shut, unfortunately. As we proceed through the plot, more bridges will open up until we eventually have full access to the entirety of Vice City! For now, though, we'll have to make do with this island.
This is a pretty fancy-looking hotel. It's also our first safehouse! It doesn't have any garages, so we can't store any of our favourite cars yet. That's okay, though, we'll always have access to fine automobiles of various kinds. So we go inside, save our game, and talk to...
Tommy: Hello, sonny.
Tommy: [Tommy sighs]
Sonny: I know, I know, you're just overwhelmed with emotion. Fifteen years - Seems like only yesterday.
Tommy: I guess that's a perspective thing.
Sonny: Hey, doing time for the family is no piece of cake, but the family looks after its own, okay? So, how'd the deal go down - you sitting on some white gold?
Tommy: Look, Sonny, we were set up. The deal was an ambush. Harry and Lee are dead.
Sonny: You better be kidding me, Tommy. Tell me you still got the money.
Tommy: ...No, sonny... I don't have the money.
Sonny: You better not be screwing me, Tommy, because you know I'm not a man to be screwed with!
Tommy Wait, Sonny! You have my personal assurance that I'm gonna get you your money back, AND the drugs, and I'm gonna mail you the dicks of those responsible.
Sonny: Hey, I already know that. You're not a fool, Tommy, but I warn you, neither am I. If it was anybody else you'd be DEAD already. But because it's you, because we got history, I'm gonna let you handle this.
Tommy: Look, Sonny, you got my word.
Sonny: I'll be in touch.
I know how you feel, Tommy. I know how you feel. But we've got to get back to business here, and we start that by heading back over to check up on our buddy Rosenberg.
As standard in the Grand Theft Auto series, important locations are marked with blips on the radar. The L, in this case, stands for [strike]schmuck[/strike] Lawyer.
Oh yeah, one of my favourite little things about this game back in the day was how little random events would occur in the streets, whether it's a policeman chasing a no-good hoodlum, or an unfortunate traffic accident.
Lemme just park my car here in the middle of the street. 
And we'll head in to see how Ken's holding up.
Ken: I have been sitting in THIS chair, ALL NIGHT, with the lights off, drinking coffee! This is a disaster! We are so screwed, man! These gorillas, listen to me, are gonna come down here and rip my head off, it's ridiculous! I did NOT go to law school for this! Okay, now what the hell are we gonna do?!
Tommy: You're gonna find out who took our cocaine... and then, I'm gonna kill them.
Ken: That's a good idea. That's a GREAT idea. Let me think, let me think, let me think... OH! There's this retired colonel, Colonel Juan Garcia Cortez. He's the one that helped me set up this deal, well away from Vice City's established thugs, okay?
Ken:...and all of Vice City's big players are gonna be there, okay? I have an invite, of course I have an invite. But there's NO way that I'm going out there, sticking my head out the door - no way! Not gonna-
Tommy: I told you, shut up! I'll go myself.
Ken: I mean, no offense, but I think that you might turn heads on the runway for the wrong reasons.
Tommy: What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?
Ken: Okay, look, here. Stop by Rafael's, tell him I sent ya. He'll make you look respectable. [He hands Tommy a business card] Okay, go. Come on!
Tommy [To himself] Who does this guy think he is? Now I gotta dress like a chump as well as hang out with them?! I like this shirt.
Alright, so we've gotta get ourselves some fancy clothes, and then head on over to the-
Well, it was nice of you to wait this long! I'll just take this, and get going over to Rafael's.
Mind if I park on the sidewalk on the wrong side of the road? Thanks. So Tommy heads in to Rafael's and gets all tidied up.
He really does look like a chump.
Hmm, nice bike.
The boat's not very far from here, but fuck it, I'm lazy.
Yoink!
That'll teach you to let me steal your bike. So we head round the road, down by the harbor, and sliiiiide...
... on down to the--
Okay, I guess I overshot. But we're here now, let's party!
Aw yeah, it is happening on board this yacht. Apparently all of Vice City's big players are here, so it's a safe bet to assume we'll be meeting them later at some point or another.
Hey, lady!
And here's Cortez, possibly one of my most favourite characters in the game, he's nice and sociable, and seems genuinely concerned for Tommy's plight.
Cortez: I understand you are here on the behalf of Mr. Rosenberg. I hope any recent problems have not affected his health, or, uh, mental wellbeing, Mr... uh?
Tommy: Vercetti. He's just got a touch of... agoraphobia.
Cortez: Hahahaha, excellent, excellent. And you?
Tommy: I just want my merchandise.
Cortez: Ah, it's an unfortunate set of circumstances for all involved. Of course I have initiated my own lines of inquiry, but such a delicate matter will take time. Perhaps we will talk later. Meanwhile, let me introduce you to my daughter. Mercedes!
Mercedes: Of course, daddy.
Cortez: Please, excuse me.
Tommy: Mercedes?!
Mercedes: You try living with it. Anyway, let me point out some of our more distinguished guests...
Shrub: And have you met my lovely wife Laura? No? Well, unfortunately she's in Alabama. This is Candy.
Mercedes: (...Always the charmer.)
(Cowboy Hat Man???): Haha, that is good! Well now, I'm looking at some prime real estate property...
Jezz: Let me tell you's, it does not involve a paddle, if you know what I mean.
Mercedes: (Impotent...)
Mercedes: And the chatty trio. That sleeping sweat gland is Papa's right hand man, Gonzalez, and the other two are Pastor Richards and pseudo-intellectual filmmaker, Steve Scott.
Steve: ...in the throes of passion with the nympho invaders, when the giant shark comes in and
Steve: Ha now, you never saw anything like that before, have you?
???: Your parties as ever are a triumph, hahahaha! I can only apologise for my late arrival.
Cortez: Ah, de nada, amigo. How do we find you?
???: Our business is very trying - Barbarians at the gates. A time for rewarding one's friends and liquidating one's enemies, amigo.
Tommy: Who's the loudmouth?
Mercedes: Ricardo Diaz. He's Mr. Coke.
Diaz: Mercedes!
Mercedes: Another time, Ricardo! [To Tommy] Let's get out of here. Actually, take me to the Pole Position club.
So our new friend Mercedes has a bit of a naughty side, and wants to be taken over to the local strip club. We could easily walk, but that's boring and exhausting. Let's take one of these sweet sports cars instead!
I like this one, it's got just the right amount of gaudiness to it. Away we go!
Mercedes: Will you be working for my father?
Tommy: Maybe.
Mercedes: Do you mind me resting my hand in your lap?
Tommy: 
...Maybe.
Mercedes: It's so difficult having a rich and powerful father. Vamos.
I like that little conversation, because that bit about Mercedes resting her hand in Tommy's lap only happens if you're in a car, it gets left out if you're on a motorcycle. Just one of those little clever bits that I liked.
Okay, so we'll just drive on over to the-
Oops. It's okay, we're okay, I'll just keep driving along this way and-
Goddammit. Okay, I'm sure I can salvage this--
Mercedes, forget this ever happened, alright? We're at the club now, my poor driving skills are no longer your concern.
Tommy: I'm sure you will.
By the way, you might be wondering what that blue house thing is. We can't access it yet, but throughout the land, there are certain buildings with those house icons. Ones that have green houses can be purchased for varying amounts of money, and act as save points. Certain ones such as this strip club are businesses, and will be important later in the game, but right now can't be purchased.
So that's our first proper mission accomplished, and we've gotten a hundred bucks to spend! More likely than not this will go towards medical fees, because I'll end up dying sooner or later.
Next time, we'll take on some more missions, and I'll also cover a couple of the optional side-missions that you can take, many of which have some very handy benefits!