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17 Alturiak, 1370

Back in the welcoming and celebratory arms of the Jovial Juggler, we all relax. There is so much unspoken and unrealized stress from wandering this wide world - it is much better to just relax with a mug of ale in the hand, talking about old times, and later listening to Finch read a story. She loves to read stories and we love to hear them. Tonight it is the History of the Dead Three:



History of the Dead Three posted:

...and over time he built his power into a kingdom unchallenged by any other god. Eventually, however, he grew tired of his duties for he knew them too well. Without challenge there is nothing, and in nothingness there is only gloom. In such a state, the difference between absolute power and absolute powerlessness is undetectable.

During this dark era, there arose three powerful mortals - Bane, Bhaal, and Myrkul - who lusted after the power Jergal wielded. The trio forged an unholy pact, agreeing that they would dare to seek such ultimate power or die in the attempt. Over the length and breadth of the Realms they strode, seeking powerful magic and spells and defying death at every turn. No matter what monster they confronted or what spells they braved, the three mortals emerged unscathed at every turn. Eventually the trio destroyed one of the Seven Lost Gods, and they each seized a portion of his divine essence for themselves.

The trio then journeyed into the Gray Waste and sought out the Castle of Bone. Through armies of skeletons, legions of zombies, hordes of noncorporeal undead, and a gauntlet of liches they battled. Eventually they reached the object of their lifelong quest - the Bone Throne.

"I claim this throne of evil," shouted Bane the tyrant. "I'll destroy you before you can raise a finger," threatened Bhaal the assassin. "And I shall imprison your essence for eternity," promised Myrkul the necromancer.

Jergal arose from his throne with a weary expression and said, "The Throne is yours. I have grown weary of this empty power. Take it if you wish - I promise to serve and guide you as your seneschal until you grow comfortable with the position." Before the stunned trio could react, the Lord of the Dead continued: "Who among you shall rule?"

The trio immediately fell to fighting amongst themselves while Jergal looked on with indifference. When eventually it appeared that either they would all die of exhaustion or battle on for an eternity, the Lord of the End of Everything intervened. "After all you have sacrificed, would you come away with nothing? Why don't you divide the portfolios of the office and engage in a game of skill for them?" asked Jergal.

Bane, Bhaal, and Myrkul considered the god's offer and agreed. Jergal took the heads of his three most powerful liches and gave them to the trio that they would compete by bowling the skulls. Each mortal rolled a skull across the Gray Waste, having agreed that the winner would be he who bowled the farthest.

Malar the Beastlord arrived to visit Jergal at this moment. After quickly ascertaining that the winner of the contest would get all of Jergal's power, he chased off after the three skulls to make sure that the contest would be halted until he had a chance to participate for part of the prize. Bane, Bhaal, and Myrkul again fell to fighting as it was obvious their sport was ruined, and again Jergal intervened. "Why don't you allow Lady Luck to decide so you don't have to share with the Beast?"

The trio agreed, and Jergal broke off his skeletal finger bones and gave them to the players. When Malar returned from chasing the skulls, he found that the trio had just finished a game of knucklebones.

Bane cried out triumphantly, "As winner, I choose to rule for all eternity as the ultimate tyrant. I can induce hatred and strife at my whim, and all will bow down before me while in my kingdom."

Myrkul, who had won second place, declared, "But I choose the dead, and by doing so I truly win, because all you are lord over, Bane, will eventually be mine. All things must die - even gods."

Bhaal, who finished third, demurred, "I choose death, and it is by my hand that all that you rule Lord Bane will eventually pass to Lord Myrkul. Both of you must pay honor to me and obey my wishes, since I can destroy your kingdom, Bane, by murdering your subjects, and I can starve your kingdom, Myrkul, by staying my hand."

Malar growled in frustration, but could do nothing, and yet again only the beasts were left for him.

And Jergal merely smiled, for he had been delivered.


A strange tale to read before bed, and I go to sleep wondering about life, death, and the effects of ultimate power. I dream of storming the gates of hell and fighting my way through entire planes of existence. When I wake up, I remember the dreams, and laugh at myself a bit. That'll be the day!

Gameplay note: I try to work these books that we find into the narrative but its slow going. We still have 13 unread books in Finch's bookbag!

The next morning we stop by the Refuge to do some spell copying. We find out that everybody except Indira knows Flame Arrow and Stinking Cloud, so she gets both of those scrolls. She copies them down. The third scroll, Monster Summoning II, is the big win for us. Neither Firebead, nor Imoen, nor Indira know it. So Firebead copies it down in his spellbook and then prepares to dole out copies to everyone. But then he realizes he's out of ink, and money to buy more. We are going to have to sell some more equipment in order to afford these spells.



We don't have much non-magical equipment to sell. We end up selling the Excellent War Hammer that Yeslick used to use, and also the Poisoned Arrows we picked up from the kobolds in Firewine, since there's a small chance that they can poison the shooter. It gives us 273 gold.



That gives us enough money to scribe one scroll.



We decide to give it to Indira, since she is the more experienced spellcaster among us. She loves it. She loves it so much she feels like all this spell learning has permanently increased her abilities!







We teleport back to the Refuge and drop Firebead off again. When we do, he asks us if we are ever going to help that poor boy Samuel. OH! RIGHT! Samuel! I had almost forgotten!



I teleport back to the Thunderhammer Smithy and then rush away, making the journey to the Friendly Arm Inn in record time.



When we get there, I am confronted with a woman in shining gold and red platemail, named Najara. She steps up to me with a sneer of disgust on her face. Shield, sword, and righteous fury - must be a paladin.



OH GOD THEY'VE FOUND OUT AND COME FOR ME WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO?! Ok, wait, just play it cool. Play it cool. Fuck, Imoen is looking right at me! Shit!

Whoa what's this about me being a killer of innocents?

Do not feign ignorance lout! You raided a village and killed all who lived there. Who knows what else you have done in your evil ways.

SHIT SHE'S GOING TO DRAW THAT SWORD AND KILL ME RIGHT HERE AND... wait, village? What village?

That is wrong, I never raided a village or killed anyone. You must have me confused with someone else.

Enough of your lies. You are beyond redemption in the Light. Come my friends justice will be swift and final!

Shit.




She's got followers. I don't notice those at first. But I do when a huge column of flame roars out of the heavens and incinerates Indira.



I order Finch and Yeslick to cast Hold Person on Najara. But they just shake their heads in shock. They even back away from the fight! What the hell is going on here?! I react the same way I do to all spellcasters - I try to cast Corporeal Instability on the guy who called the column of fire. But the Weave doesn't cooperate, and another one falls on my own head at the same time.



Imoen and Kivan both start aiming for the spellcaster. Yeslick and Finch apparently get over their shock - Yeslick comes in to melee and Finch starts throwing rocks. Yeslick eats another column of fire.



We all try to his Vallius, but the only result is that a scream tears itself out of my throat as I am enveloped in yet another Flamestrike.



Kivan saves me. He strikes down the cleric, and gives me a healing potion. I drink it as quickly as I can with my cracked and burning lips.



Then it is just us against the paladin. I do not trust the Weave to help me in this situation, so I simply pull out Meta Infernum and get to work. I feel slightly comforted as the five Mirror Images around me mirror my movements.



She isn't easy to hit, but every once in a while a hammer from Finch, or an arrow from Kivan or Imoen, gets through, and you can see the toll it takes on her. The paladin retreats and I begin to hate myself a little for doing this.



Isn't there some way to stop the fight? I look for something to do, or something to say, to stop it. But Najara does not want to talk.



It is actually Finch that deals the final blow.



Who was she talking about as she died? I wince to think of which god is going to be pissed at me because I killed his paladin now. I immediately gather the rest of the party around and tell them that no one must ever know of this day. They all nod, solemnly. Then we look through the loot.

Vallius isn't carrying much, but it is powerful stuff. He has a Full Plate Mail +1, the Small Shield +5 "Divinity," and The Enlightenment Star +3.





Gameplay note: A buckler that is +5 on defense? Holy crap! This would be perfect for Viconia except that evil alignments can't use it. As it is, I think it is perfect for Finch. Finch can use Medium Shields because she is strong enough, but Viconia can't.

THe body of Najara is the greater treasure trove here. Sad to think of it that way, but it is. She is wearing her own customized Plate Mail +3, a Girdle of Defense, some Boots of Health, the Helm of the Flame, a Shield +3, the Cutlass +2 Scorcher, 5 Potions of Critical Healing, and 5 Elixirs of Health. Plus she is carrying a note.



Gameplay note: This is apparently not quite as good as the Full Plate Mail +2 that I got off the genie, but it is nevertheless pretty awesome. It is an upgrade for Finch and it is golden.





Gameplay note: Perfect tank equipment right here. But since our tank has just died I think that it might be best for Yeslick to wear, for the time being. He can be the replacement tank.



Gameplay note: Wearer can cast heal spells, get +1 to AC and +10 to hit points?! Again, perfect ideal tank boots. Yeslick is currently wearing the Boots of the Forgotten Ones but Finch can take those off him. Oh no wait, Yeslick is neutral and can't wear them. Well, Finch it is then.



Gameplay note: Another perfect tank helm. Goes on Yeslick and gives him 20 con, which equals regeneration.



Gameplay note: Of course a pretty amazing shield. However, Yeslick's current shield gives him 10 extra hit points and gives everyone standing near him a +2 to AC. For some reason Finch can use this shield, and it gives her the same AC boost as the small shield while also protecting against missile weapons. So she gets it.



Gameplay note: There seems to be a lot of misunderstandings between modders about what a Cutlass actually is. Some classify it as a short sword, and others

Finally, we take a look at the note.



I wonder who P.W. is? It doesn't sound like anybody associated with the Iron Throne. The latest name I had gotten about the Iron Throne was Sarevok. But This P.W. person is also putting bounties on my head and siccing paladins on me! Is there no one who is ok with me being alive in this whole wide world?

We sadly go to the Temple of Wisdom to complete our quest. We approach Gellana Mirrorshade, but she already seems to know why we come.



This man is named Samuel. We were told to bring him to you.

It seems you have brought him too late. He has expired from his injuries. This is such a great loss, but I guess there was nothing you could do.

Heh. Yeah. Nothing we could do. Oops, I guess? I mean, you can't succeed every time, can you? You win some, you lose some, and you leave some in interdimensional space until they expire from their wounds, right? Right guys? Heh... heh.

That paladin should have killed me. I deserved it.