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Let's Play Ogre Battle 64: I Want To Break Free (SSLP)

Ogre Battle is a series of strategy/tactical RPGs developed by Quest and published internationally (mostly) by Enix. It carries a recurring theme of popular nationalist uprisings against unjust autocratic and feudal states, especially those carried out by starry-eyed young idealists. The first game in the series, "Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen," was released for the Super NES in 1993. Yasumi Matsuno, of Final Fantasy Tactics/Advance/XII fame, started his career at Quest making Ogre Battle, and allowed himself the indulgence of naming everything after Queen songs.



Matsuno was not involved with Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber, which should explain the relative dearth of Queen references in its title. Not only did Queen never write a song called "Person of Lordly Caliber," but I get the feeling that even if they did it wouldn't have been their best work. Imagine Freddie Mercury singing that phrase in any way and making it sound... not awkward. It doesn't work. That's why I've decided that the theme of this game and this LP will be I Want To Break Free. Crossdressing isn't a theme of this game, but independence sure is!

OB64 was developed by Quest in 2000. Enix never had anything to do with it -- it was published by Atlus and Nintendo. It's a slow-paced strategy RPG: the player commands a number of characters, some with personalities and some generic, most of which may be assigned to any of a number of classes based on gender and species. These units must be organized into small squads (or "units") of up to five (fewer if any are large Monster types). Depending on your units' formation, the characters therein will carry out a predetermined number of predetermined actions whenever they happen to run into another unit. More in-depth game mechanics will be discussed in a later post.



We live in the country of Palatinus, which borders the country of Zenobia (where March of the Black Queen took place). Zenobia is currently ruled by the group of starry-eyed young idealists who starred in the SNES game. Palatinus is ruled by a feudal monarchy, which is a client state of the Holy Lodis Empire. Lodis took over Palatinus at some point in the past and allowed its king and government to stay in place as puppet rulers. They imagine that they have done Palatinus a big favor by doing this, and expect Palatineans in general and the king in particular to show them gratitude for their mercy at every opportunity.



Our main character is the young, promising scion of a military noble family (the Gallants) who has just joined the army during a time of great political volatility. All he wants is to be a soldier and make his own way in the world, but he'll soon find himself caught up in a growing political storm. He'll need a name and a birthday. You might be tempted to name him Destin after the guy from the first Ogre Battle game. Resist that urge. Destin will be showing up himself pretty damn soon.

Reader Participation

There will be a limited amount of reader participation in this LP. I will not be taking suggestions of what units to create; instead I'll be asking you guys for answers to a personality test the game administers which will decide the makeup of our starting army, and I'll futz around with the results to make good or interesting units out of what the game gives me. Later I'll create more units to show off stuff that I think is cool. I'll also need a name and birthday for our main character, and will accept suggested names for all generic units (who can be renamed whenever the hell you want). Lastly, I'm going to need you guys to decide whether this is a Nice Playthrough or a Naughty Playthrough. This game features a hidden reputation meter (called the Chaos Frame) which measures how much of an asshole you are. This stat affects which unique characters you may recruit and which ending you get, but the game never really gives you any hint that it exists or that you may be dooming yourself to a bad ending. The main factors are (a) choices you make in cutscenes and (b) whether your units are "capturing" towns or "liberating" them, which looks like it's just flavor text (but isn't!!!!) and is determined by how closely the leader of the invading unit's alignment gels with the culture (or "morale") of the town. EG, if Captain Hillbilly and the Goatfuckers roll on into the well-to-do suburb of Posh Haven, they're going to have to crack some heads to get the village patrons to do what they say, but if the same town is invaded by Sir Arthur Mannerbottom and his Polite Associates, the transition will be a bit easier (and likely involve tea). Conversely, if Captain Hillbilly wanted to take over the settlement of Shit Creek, Arkansas, he could do it with nothing but a barrel of moonshine and a sack of pork rinds, but Sir Arthur would have to be a bit more hard-nosed if he wanted to get them to listen to him. Capture enough towns and you can recruit asshole characters; liberate enough towns and you can recruit noble ones. Nobility gets you a better ending.

Just to get this out of the way, I will be using an item-duplication glitch to control all characters' alignments because doing so on the up-and-up is a huge pain in the ass, which in turn makes controlling what kind of Chaos Frame you end up with a huge annoyance. It's doable, but I'm not doing it. Deal with it. More on that when I get to the point in the game when it actually matters.

CONTENTS:
(links to all updates)

UPDATE 1: Rich People Problems

We open with a classic sepia flashback shot of some fancy-boy in a courtyard.



The life of the idle rich: stand around in your poofy sleeves, staring at a tree, not a care in the world. One day I'm gonna hit it big, and every day's gonna be like this. Maybe a cigar, maybe a glass of scotch, maybe



Well there goes MY me-time. Fine, fine, what do you want.



This dapper young fellow with the giant anime cowlick apparently finds some fault with the standing-around-the-palace-grounds lifestyle and wants out!

: "Why can't you stay here? Why the military academy? Why?"

: "God knows where my mother is... and I can't stand..."



A-HA. The principles of detection lead my keen logical mind to conclude that here we have what is colloquially known as a "FUCK YOU DAD" situation!



See, that's what's wrong with kids today. You give 'em everything in the world, take 'em to a huge palatial estate where they can hang out with rich spoiled brats in poofy sleeves, buy them the finest pirate shirts and bright blue sashes and the stiffest hair gel, and they'll STILL find a reason to hate you. Count on it.

: "I'm leaving... Yumil..."



: "I have to learn to stand on my own... So I can protect both of us."

gaaaaaaaaay



And with that... ambiguous line, our mysterious young hero turns around and walks straight out of this flashback without looking back. Good for him! Cut to six years later.



Apologies to those of you expecting the military academy to be a two-hour-long tutorial. No, this game was slightly before that craze began (there is a tutorial, but it's optional and involves no characters from the game proper and I'm skipping right the hell over it) so we cut straight to the point where the protagonist already knows all the stuff you'll have to figure out yourself.

"Our next graduate..."



Six years later and our rebellious friend is still sporting a bright blue sash, to his own graduation even. Maybe he won the Miss Palatinus pageant.

(come to think of it the full body armor is also a little odd in this context)

Anyway the guy in the robes with the impressive beard and staff is Archbishop Odiron. Basically he's the Pope, and he's here to personally hand our little war hero his diploma! Dye-job here must be a pretty big deal. (yes I know it's not a dye job shut up)



: "He who has learned the way of the sword and God's teachings, in accordance with the traditions kept since the days of the Progenitor, I shalt now complete thy training with an oath to our Mother Berthe. What is thy name?"



Yeah like I said earlier I'm gonna need you guys to give him a name. Please try to resist naming him "Goofus." It's been done to death. hell I'd take Dongs over Goofus.

For the purposes of this update we're gonna stick with the default: Magnus. Latin for "great" in a bit of symbolism almost as artless as naming the guy from Gladiator "Maximus."





Throwing us some softball questions first, I see!

Ogre Battle sports an (almost entirely useless) in-game calendar that is roughly analogous to the Gregorian model. Put in a real-world date (like the default July 25) and the game will thoughtfully tell you the corresponding in-game date (in this case Trueno 12).



For the purposes of this update, again, I'm gonna plug in my birthday, which corresponds to Flama 4. Go ahead and give me another one to use. It doesn't matter nearly as much in this game as in Final Fantasy Tactics -- any date will do.



OH BOY THIS PART

So the way Ogre Battle 64 decides what generic units to give you is by giving you a personality test. This kind of makes sense -- they'd group you with the underlings that most closely match your answers, etc etc -- although I have no idea why it's necessary to have Archbishop Freakin' Odiron play quizmaster for us. Doesn't have have, I dunno, sermons to give or something?

"Congratulations on successfully graduating from the most prestigious military academy in the nation! You are now the first line of defense for our citizenry against bandits, wild animals, foreign invaders, DRAGONS, what have you. I'm your host, the Pope; all the lords and politicians in attendance, please welcome Magnus to St. Peter's Basilica! Now then, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? *pen-clicky-noise*"

There's some big complex mathematical system relating your answers to the units you will receive. When I was a young teenager first playing this game, I spent a busy Saturday afternoon (I didn't have friends, I played JRPGs) tinkering around with the numbers until I finally found the series of answers guaranteed to give me the best possible army. However this was 10 years ago and sometime during that period I lost the doodled-up notebook paper I wrote it down on, so instead I'm going to ask you guys to answer it for me, in whatever way seems best/funniest/whatever, and I'll have to deal with whatever the algorithm spits out. Go hog wild!

At the end of this post I will have a Voting Form where all these questions and their possible answers are repeated-- don't worry about having to actually pay attention to them at this point.









Odiron is nothing if not pragmatic. "Okay, got it, you want valor from the Gods. Everybody wants something. The gods aren't around for charity, though -- what can YOU offer THEM? And I assure you I'm already praying enough for the both of us."



yeah I guess this one is distinct somehow from the beseeching one? "What I really want is valor, but while we're on the subject, fertility would be pretty nice too..."



And THIS one is exactly like the severing one only with less phallic imagery! I suspect Odiron came up with the last two questions during his carriage ride here and wrote them down on his hand or something.



This one is not related to your starting units, but determines (a) what innate Element Magnus has and (b) which Elem Pedra we start off with. Details on both of those concepts can be found in my Game Mechanics Megadump or you can wait until they come up in the LP.



At this point the game has decided what your units will be and Odiron starts just giving you shit to outfit them. Yes, it would make more sense for them to be carrying this stuff themselves. No, it doesn't matter.



Oh hey, the Pope carries around some kind of puppet thing and he just gave it to some 18-year-old. Nothing strange about that.



Since I picked Wind earlier due to it being the first choice, we get the Pedra of Wind. There is (of course) one of these things in existence per element, for a total of six. In the whole world. Magnus just got handed one because he graduated army high school.

yeah I don't even know

Anyway, with that, Odiron is done with us and we cut straight to the opening-credits-ish-type sequence.



Yes. Episode VI. I think the first Ogre Battle was picked (using some sort of random-number generator) to be Episode V. In ten years or so we'll be about on schedule to receive the vastly inferior prequels (as well as the spinoff LEGO Ogre Battle games which will be the best part).



ANYWAY TIME FOR A TRAVELING MONTAGE



Complete with pratfalls! The guy on the left with the huge pipe is totally the real star of this scene.



"Christ, who decided we should take such a wobbly path? You know we don't actually have to go around the mountain peaks on the map, they point UP in real life."



This isn't what camping looks like in-game. What they should be doing is standing in their marching formation, asleep on their feet. MY IMMERSION



"man we spent like a week just wandering back and forth in the east there for no particular reason"



"oh shit a vista overlooking a beautiful sunset, everybody line up and peer out as though into destiny"



And finally after one more inexplicably lengthy session of apparently going backward for some reason, we arrive at our new post: Akka Castle.



Southern Region, Akka Castle

Personnel Assignment Ceremony



Yeah this is more what I expected graduating military academy to be like. Lining up in a grid while some asshole on a throne glares at you. Meet our new boss, General Godeslas, head of all military operations in the Southern Region.

: "Welcome to the Palatinean Army, Southern Division. I'm sure you all know that Alba is the most rugged region in Palatinus."



: "It looks like some of you are graduates from the military academy in the Central Region... I have absolutely no idea why you people chose to come here, of all places."

Obviously this guy is not born and bred Southie.



: "If that's the case, then I suggest you think again. Don't expect any special treatment. All that counts is your ability! Remember that."



: "Now I want you to go on a training exercise. Ariosh! You take care of the rest."



"You take it from here, lackey, I've got important shit to do. Like sitting in my chair and glaring."

: "Before we start the exercise, we must get organized."



Three of these names are main characters (CAN YOU SPOT THEM IN THE SCREENSHOT?); the rest will never be mentioned again.

: "You were selected as command candidates. Wait in the hall. You will interview with your advisor in a little while. Follow your advisor's instructions and work hard to become competent soldiers. That is all, no questions asked. Understood? ...Then get moving!"



You're in the army now, kids. Anyway, time for Magnus to meet his advisor.



Meet Hugo, the stereotypical Wise Old Man. He wears robes. He braids his beard. He holds a staff while sitting down. He gives out sound advice. He does nothing else.

Presently there's a knock at his door.

: "...Come in."



: "Alright, let me see..."



: "......?"

My... thoughts... exactly.



: "Graduated from the Ischka Military Academy, eh? ...What, are you nervous? Don't worry, I'm here to guide you. You'll get used to it in time. Alright, you're dismissed. ...Head to Tenne Plains and get ready for training. We will begin as soon as everyone arrives."



Short meeting.

: "When you get old, you can tell a lot just by looking at people's faces. While we lack strength, our knowledge and experience more than make up for it. And... to tell you the truth, I've known about you for a long time."

Rule #14 of being old (ie older than 30) in a JRPG: Never stop talking about how old you are. Rule #56: Be cryptic. Always be cryptic. If possible, be creepy and cryptic simultaneously.



: "Go get ready for training. Understood?"



Enter the next guy.



: "You're Diomedes, eh? Hmm..."

Dio (smile: has pretty much zero patience for the whole sizing-you-up-visually routine.



: "...Oh no... don't tell me you're my superior!"

THAT'S OUR DIO



And with that we reach the world map for the first time, which makes this about as good a time as any to stop the update which has gone on too long already. Next time: Gameplay!

VOTING FORM!!!!!!
Main Character Name: _________ Gallant
Birthday:
Naughty/Nice:
What dost thou hold within thy sword?: (Ardor / Passion / Vigor / Talent / Belief / Hatred)
What shalt thou sever with thy sword?: (Hope / Greed / Order / Silence / Anarchy / Control)
For what shalt thou beseech the gods?: (Valor / Purity / Might / Triumph / Sacrifice / Trust)
What shalt thou offer the gods?: (Love / Truth / Freedom / Embrace / Lust / Glory)
What dost thou wish for?: (Strife / Serenity / Wealth / Reform / Fertility / Peace)
What shalt thou rid from this land? (Changes / Law / Ideal / Honor / Rule / Chaos)
Lastly, for whose help dost thou call upon?: (swift wind / raging flame / solid earth / serene water)