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Welcome to Let?s Play Sonic RPG! My name is Dyslexiactic and I will be your guide as we traverse the tangled, barely-literate storylines of Sonic RPG. With the first episode released in 2005 and the ninth episode released in April 2013, Sonic RPG is a flash game series produced by Flash Essence, the dream team of MidNightMaren and Acid_Shiver.
A note about update 1: although the newgrounds upload of Sonic RPG episode 1 contains ?Fixed grammer and cleared dialog?, I have painstakingly googled for Sonic flash games and found the original, untainted episode 1. I have removed about 50 instances of ellipses points to improve readability (barely), but have otherwise left the transcribed dialog untouched for your difficult reading pleasure.
Update 1: You dirty gouts of water.
Jumping directly to the credits has never been so tempting.
Narrator: The greatest genius of evil prepare a new challenger to face Sonic. When Sonic sleeps a new menace appear on his way, but it seems that is an old enemie.
Feel that throbbing in your head? You?ll get used to reading it?I did! 
Look how happy Sonic is, lying beside what I can only assume is supposed to be an off-camera poorly-drawn half-pair of sunglasses.
Two whole frames of animation?man, that missile/bomb/sex device must be a freak in bed.
: And this time you dont leave this beach with life?AHAHAH!!! Got it ?!? This time im gonna win!!! This time I have the real weapon!!!
Enter our antagonist, Dr. Robotnik. Also, the only thing Flash Essence finds more irresistible than ellipses points are ellipses exclamation marks!!!
Such a delicate mix of stolen images and shitty fanart 
: Chaos!!! You just don?t get it do you??? I can defeat that guy again!!! I don?t know why you are everytime boring me. Why you just don?t give up?
: This time will be different!!! Chaos have much more power since the last time you fight with him. He now dont need the chaos emerals to increase his power he is almost unbeatable!!!
Did someone say ?Chaos Emeral??
Oh Sonic, you jokester!
: ARE YOU LISTENING ME!!!
: Yes I was, but you talk to much Eggie? You need a vacation like me, but if is a battle you want?!? OK!!! BRING IT ON!!!
Wait, Eggie? I thought this was Dr. Robotnik.
Oh look, ?gameplay?! A pretty standard RPG approach, I see. What?s say we just finish this one quickly with a Special attack?
Oh?even though we have a full 230 SP? That must be some special attack. Maybe pacifism is the way forward?let?s just sit this one out.
Not exactly what I was going for! Oh well. Sonic is well known for his magical abilities, so let?s settle for that.
Well for fuck?s sake. I get it, game, we will attack.
On Chaos? turn, he seems to have more than enough SP to do his special. Hell, we have enough SP to do his special almost four times!
From here on, the battle consists of me pressing Attack every turn. Chaos mixes it up with a basic attack as well.
Just as the battle appears to be nearing an end?
Well, shit. I persist with my Attack while Chaos answers with an attack and Waterfall. As I click Attack for what would seem the last time before Chaos? turn will kill Sonic, something happens!
: AHAHAH!!! Prepare to die Chaos!!! I?ll show you me power!!! And you sonic just see.
Shadow crashes into the scene holding a Chaos Emerald, which infuses him with the strength of two dirty gouts of water!
Alright, time to actually get our fight on. Where to begin? Oh! I know!
God damnit. I?ll show you?I will run this battle into the ground.
While playing as Shadow, we can select a Special attack. And lookie lookie what we get. Unfortunately, Chaos Control is such an unnecessarily long animation that I could not make a gif. Instead, please enjoy these highlights
And with that, we have defeated Chaos 
. Both Sonic and Shadow gain some experience and learn new, exciting skills. Who knows? Maybe someday we will even be allowed to use them.
: Now Doctor, surrender or I have to kill you too.
I would hate someone too if they insisted on calling me ?Eggie? for no apparent reason.
: Muahahah!!! But if you think that was my real weapon you are wrong! Chaos don?t existe anymore idiots!!! That think is a clone!!! And now I?m gonna do the same to you!!! I had copied all your data skills!
?! Shame on you, Dr. Eggie Robotnik.
That spaceship has the smallest junk I?ve ever seen.
Oh look, it?s babby?s first perspective shot.
: What!?! Ohh shit!!! Bring it back robotnic!!! That emerald is mine!!!
: Ahahah!!! I already have all the chaos emelards.
No!!! Not the emelards!
: I have to bringe her back!!! I gonna to the Death Egg!!! You come with me or not?!
: We must to Angel Island first. Knuckles is there. We will need his help.
: What!?! Will be a waste of time !!!And I dont need other freak in my team!!!
: Look!!! We will need the master emerald too!!! Eggman has all emerals as you know
And now Eggman?! Also, Eggman has all the emerals?
: Fine!!! We go to Angel Island First!!! And after that we gonna take my emerald.
: Its better you go to Angel Island! I go to Death Eggs right now!!! OK?
: Shit!!! You are everytime making your rules!!! Ok, Im gonna take Knux and the master emerald.
And Sonic and Shadow split up. First, we follow Shadow to find out what sort of crazy hijinks Knuckles has been up to.
: Well, can?t wait for him. I must go to the Death Egg. Sonic sayed that he need the Master Emerald. I?m gonna pick the emerald and get out of here!!!
Oh dear, where is that loveable scamp?
: Ohh Knux your are here!!! Look Eggman is back and I need this emerald.
: What?!? You must be kidding!! Master Emerald don?t go anywhere!!!
: Look idiot, I did a favor to Sonic coming here!!! So I?ll pick the Master Emerald and you just come with me if you want!!! If you try to stop me I?ll have to cut your fuckin head!! OK!?!
And just like in real life, someone saying ?Blackie guy? in public is followed by a fight complete with sweet, cinematic transitions.
: I don?t know why we are doing this. I?m gonna finish you in 2 seconds!!!
Knuckles starts the battle with a couple jabs. We should be able to make short work of him with Chaos Control!
Oh yeah, hyuck! Time to try out that new Energy Beam.
I will never stop laughing at how quickly Knuckles stands up after that attack.
: This is it, I?m angry now!!! Your jorney end here black hedgehog!!!
: My power now is lesser because I don?t have my emerald with me. Dammit Eggman!!! You will pay for this!!! Ok Knuckles, I lost the battle. Finish me now. Forgive me Sonic.
There?s been enough talk about cutting fucking heads and killing?let?s see some action 
!
: ?Ok Shadow, start talking why you came here.
: What a idiot guy. I?ve already told you that Robotnik is back!!!!!
: Huhh,,, I see. I don?t trust you a lot, but it make sense. Well, OK!!! You can take the emerald. But, of corse I will go with you!!! Alright lets go help our little friend???????Huh? Its better you rest a little. I tackeled you harder.
Well after that little episode of Sonic_flash_games.txt, it?s time for us to head over to the Death Egg for our final act. Also, note that I left in the ellipses commas from the transcript as a treat.
Looks like somebody showed Robotnikeggman the Flash Essence website.
: Now the data of the two Hedgehogs
: Now with the power of the Master Emerald he will be unbeatable.
Oh yeah, this episode has the best picture of Eggman in existence.
: WHAT the??? How..Th?ajd?.iwk?.How do you get here??!!??
: Ohhh doctor. Do you forgot my ?Super form???? In super sonic form I can fly?AHAHAH?Don?t you remember???
: SHIT!!! Now my flying ships don?t work with you. Since that accident with the Master Emerlad you can get your super form when you want. But you must have enough energy.
: And now I have it!!! Since the battle with the faker Chaos, I learn how to control my power.
: OK Hedgehog!!! You will die here!!! Prepare to charche!!! This is my?my?my?it?s called?ohh. This is my ?Bigger Diger Robot?!!!
And with that giant, steaming pile of cinchy exposition, our first update is complete! Join us next time as we patiently wait for me to remove ellipses points and Sonic squares off this TOTALLY OC ROBOT that appears to be sponsored by Nerf!