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Hello and welcome to SimplePlanes, a simple game about planes. Well-named, that. For our Glorious Something Awful Contest Thing™, we at Kadorhal, Incorporated have decided to use the challenge criteria as a manner to show off one of our newest weapon experiments.
We won't get into the real nitty-gritty of plane-creation and stuff, cause that shit's complicated as hell and I'm still convinced the half of my designs that actually fly properly were down to luck just as much as having even a vague understanding of the forces behind it. Anyway, this is basically what a lot of designs will start out looking like - a cockpit and some fuselage cones to make the main body.
Once everything on the main body is to your satisfaction you add the real bells and whistles... well, not really bells and whistles cause they're necessary too. Anyway, wings, engines, landing gear, and pylons are what we add here.
We also add a rotary cannon to stand in for everyone's favorite BRRRRRRRT machine, and some more fuselage blocks and a camera to act as the FLIR setup. After that, it's as simple as clicking on two buttons...
...and ta-dah, your half of an aircraft is now one whole aircraft. Sexy beast, innit? But there's always room for improvement in every aspect of life, including the art of taking them. So now, I hear you ask, how do you improve something like the A-10?
Well, we here at Kadorhal, Inc. have a motto about sort of thing, and that's... uh... Hey, lawyer-man! Make up a motto about a shitload of guns! ... It's, uh, "if you're ever in doubt, more gun." Remind me to hire someone to write an actual motto for us.Seriously, that shit was terrible. So, we've simply added on to the existing rotary cannon and eight pylons with four more rotary cannons, 34 more single-barreled cannons, and six more pylons, every one of them loaded up with seven-shot rocket pods. There isn't a thing that moves that could stand up against our New and Improved A-10® for more than five seconds! Well, unless it flies, I guess. So we'll just press that nice little play button and...
Well this is a conundrum... about four of our cannons and half of our rocket pods have just fallen off. And I don't think that's how a plane is supposed to sit on the ground with landing gear extended... hm.
All the cannons work, at least. If all else fails, find out the rhyme or reason for why the weapons are falling off and we've got ourselves an extremely expensive anti-aircraft gun.
Well, I'm sure it can still get into the air just fine, if we take things carefully by immediately ramping up the throttle to a hundred percent.
Oh shit, we're drifting! Planes aren't supposed to drift!
Huh.
Well, shit.
Well, necessity is something or other, I'm not totally convinced yet that this thing can't fly. Fortunately, we can set ourselves to just spawn wherever the hell we want - including in the air already! Let's see how well this baby fares when it's off the ground, eh?
Still dropping most of our weapons on start, but otherwise okay...
Alright, not so much okay. Planes aren't supposed to fly belly-first.
Yeah, it's... really, really not a good sign when your plane points its nose directly towards the ground no matter what you do with the stick. I think you can tell how this ends.
Yep. Well, that's another sunk project. Hope those investors forgot about this already, kind of already spent all their money. Moral of this story: physics of flight are complicated shit.