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Update 5: Level 2: Annexation
Popular vote dictated that I’ll be playing the sorceress faction for this round. This should be good, I haven’t played as a full on sorceress in ages.
“In the absence of a strong leader, the local lords have fallen to fighting. Uniting this area is critical to our cause, so we must not fail. Leaving your castle undefended win this highly contested region will surely lead to defeat. I’m counting on you.
PS Your army from the previous map is doing well, such jolly good fellows.
Joining us is none other than my good friend Troyan. We had some pretty good times back in Heroes1.
If you don’t remember what she looked like, or haven’t read my previous LP, here she is as she was in Heroes1.
The years haven’t been kind to her. 
Wait a minute, Robin Williams? I didn’t know he was a quadruplet and I’m pretty sure he’s dead. I guess the official explanation for the ability to pick a faction is "a genie did it."
I almost forgot to post the sorceress music.
Hmm, I actually would’ve loved to have view mines. I noticed that the map is small, so getting an idea where the enemy is would’ve been very helpful. One semi new spell and one new spell.
Shield: We've already seen the mass version of this. This is the single target version. For 3 spell points you halve the damage of ranged attacks on a single unit.
View resources: Every bit as useless as you imagine it is. It shows you where the remaining stacks of resource are. I suppose you could cast it to keep tabs on your enemy. Everywhere where there are stacks are locations that the enemy hasn't visited yet.
I’m building an archery range. Elves are great shooters and combined with Genies and Sprites should make for a very nice starting army.
I also hire Jojosh. He was also around in Heroes1, but he looks exactly the same as back then. His teeth didn't even yellow more. There is a lot of swamp around the castle and I want to be able to get some distance. The Barbarian skill in pathfinding will help us with that. In addition, his physical prowess will surely be a great help in getting a head start and making the most out of our genies.
Troyan finds this in a chest. It’s a pretty great artifact for Jojosh. Adding two turns to his castings of shield could be very useful.
And with everyone moved we end our first turn. Yes, Jojosh is going to attack those Halflings.
Day 2
They tried to run, but there’s no escape. As we know from the previous level, Halflings are slow. Meaning everyone gets a turn before them.
Groping killed the Halflings. This is a terrible example of the power of a genie, but just you wait.
Genies are the level 5 neutral unit. Though really they find themselves between 5 and 6. HP and attack/defense skills are low for a 6th level. Damage however is of the 6th level. Excellent units with great hitting power and a special that gives them a 10% chance to half any stack they attack. They can only be recruited from the magic lamp which are really rare and even if you find them, the genies cost quite a bit at 650 gold and a single gem. Magic lamps also don't replenish, so once you buy what's in there they're gone.
Also moving, but not capped are the sprites so let's go over them as well.
I love sprites, they're my favorite level 1 unit. Costing a measly 50 gold, they are the weakest level 1 unit. That is unless you want to count the peasants in the level 1 category, in which case they become the second worst. Their stats are low causing them to take hits like you would expect little flying girls with butterfly wings to do. Meanwhile their lackluster damage range is unfortunate, but at least it makes them less likely to be cursed and one less unit to consider blessing. They have two things that save them from being terrible. Their attack skill is pretty good and having the no retaliation allows you to make the most of their lowish stats as they have to be killed on your opponents turn. Meanwhile their ability to fly as well as average speed allows them to close the gap quickly and become the mosquito in your bedroom annoying.
And I’m really stupid. I somehow missed that I mixed three armies and as a result have poor morale.
So many needless deaths. 
Victory comes at a terrible price.
Time to fix our morale problem.
Despite the unnecessary losses we still find something great in this turn. View mines.
Note the best shrine on this map right next to Troyan.
Roland wasn’t kidding when he said that there aren’t many mines here. I’ll try and get Jojosh to the south. There are two sets of wood/ore mines there. I expect to find two of the enemy castle there. Unfortunately there is a pack of Grand elves in the way on one end. As we saw last map, they aren't easy targets.
Carlawn is hired by virtue of being Carlawn. The same way that I dislike some heroes for no reason I also like a few heroes. Carlawn is one of them. I think it's the tiara.
This is her in Heroes 1: 
Surgery can fix many things.
She scouts around and picks up resources. She also left her units behind for Jojosh.
He’s going to wait for tomorrow so I can upgrade the elves to grand elves. After that it’s time to try and find the enemy.
Day 3
Get ready?
We can either tangle with lots of rangers or a pack of grand elves. We’ll attack the rangers. We generally out speed them.
You may be wondering why I'm on my way to attack an enemy base with this "army", especially considering my usual approach to things. Here's the deal, the sorceress army is the most balanced army from a unit spread perspective. They have 2 above average flyers, 2 above average shooters and 2 average melee units. As such they have great synergy with just about everything. In this case, the powerful genies will be doing most of the heavy lifting with the sprites running interference and the druids and grand elves gunning down what they can.
I want to cast shield on someone, but who. Let’s wait a turn and see how things develop.
The grand elves and the druids gang up and kill a stack.
Speaking of druids.
Druids are a perfectly average shooter and level 4 unit costing a reasonable 350 in gold. They're pretty fast for their tier and hit decently hard, but are a bit fragile. Only 8 shots is somewhat disappointing and I've been in situations where they ran out of ammo at which point they become pretty useless.
So I will not be casting shield and will instead cast stoneskin on my sprites who will take the hit from the rangers.
And the counter kills the last.
Not bad at all.
From a challenge point of view it worries me how much stuff appears to be left untaken. It tends to mean that the AI has been taking it easier than I have. 
Oh, there is the castle already and it’s a knight castle. I’m surprised since I was somehow expecting I'd only be fighting warlocks, barbarians and necromancers. That house I have set a course for adds a +1 to any visiting hero’s defense, so we'll visit that first.
Such friendly people in Enroth giving free lessons to whoever just happens to drop in. Also, I have spotted an enemy hero. Let’s tango all over him.
What manner of sorcery is this?! 
This can’t be!
Quickly, to the relative safety of their castle, our genies can't repel firepower of that mustachitude, false or otherwise.
Carlawn picks up the last resources, but steers clear of probably-not-really Kilburn for now.
That’s some excellent timing from Troyan. She picks pathfinding.
Being one with nature means that adding a statue of a half naked lady helps our income.
Day 4
Who needs thieves guilds, we will just storm right in.
Terrifying. 
And add a new castle to my...lord Roland’s collection. Yes.
Like many things, archery goes well with the sorceress faction. They have two good shooters that form the backbone of their army who love the extra damage.
I’m short either way, so I’ll just go into my new castle now.
Things are going very well, this is a great spell selection.
I suppose I should post the knight castle theme.
It-can't-possibly-be Kilburn is running around with archers, but this castle can provide rangers. This means that I just beat him back home before he could upgrade. Very nice.
Back home we upgrade the Stonehenge, providing us with the fourth or fifth best shooter of the game. The greater druid. Carlawn does nothing yet.
Day 5
Lies! 
No way the real Kilburn would work for people like this! I’m on to you!
We cast blind on the pikemen. We’ll have the genies strike down the archers and the sprites will deal with the badly disguised skeletons.
The elves help the genies and the greater druids shoot the sacks of bones to soften them up. Realizing how much damage that did, the sprites change their target to the more dangerous archers.
Genies hit like ton of bricks at this level, the boost they're getting from Jojosh's attack stat is also helping them quite nicely.
And my druids finish the job. They attack using their enlightened spirits, which still sounds like laser beams to me.
Down with the impostor!
That was short.
The witch hut near Carlawn teaches ballistics. Quite useful.
She sets out to collect everything she can get her hands on.
Back home we build a fenced meadow in the name of freedom and Troyan heads back home.
Day 6
There was a convenient boat next to the castle and I feel like sailing across and testing the limits of this "army". Jojosh rocks the boat.
There’s a lot of crap in this water. We'll probably pick it up at some point, especially that guy that's clinging on to dear life. Don't worry, we'll be back later!
In castle Westmoor a jousting arena is built. Tomorrow is a new week, we can use some extra units.
Day 7
We saw an enemy streak by in the north, I hope that they will stay away for now.
We found another castle and it matches our own. That’s nice.
The jousting arena is upgraded. We needed that extra roof.
Day 8
That looks like fun. I wonder if I can join them.
He can’t reach them yet, but I’ll have him visit the gazebo first. Maybe he’ll get another level. I’m worried about them having spells. I’m not that strong, so a some well placed lightning bolts or cold rays can cripple my "army" easily.
Carlawn will head off to do so minor creeping on this side. We’ll free up some extra resources and possibly get Troyan something resembling an army as well.
Day 9
The AI really doesn’t seem to like confrontations in this game. I don't understand why. Just combine the two armies and take me on head one, or wait in the castle and soften up my guys with spells.
Scouting isn’t that bad, but I’ll take advanced archery instead. It's a small map, so scouting will lose it's usefulness far too quickly.
Attack!
The genies easily toast the druids and my elves easily kill the other elves.
Leading to this.
That gazebo did well. Alright, I’ll take scouting. We have half a map to scout out first.
This looks better than my own castle. How did they AI manage this? I guess Roland wasn't kidding when he said these guys were rich.
I have to admit, I can't believe I already took my second castle. I vaguely remember the first time I played this game, I lost most of my genies even before reaching an enemy castle and trying to siege was difficult since an enemy would try to take my unguarded castle. How terrible was younger me? 
They really should’ve bought those units.
Jojosh is loving his pretty ponies.
Don’t let them escape!
Troyan returns home, but nothing is bought yet. Let’s finish things up with Jojosh first.
Having seen Carlawn's Heroes1 picture, the peasants chose to run away from.
Day 10
The last potential real opponent comes peeking in from above.
The two women ran away from Jojosh, it’s probably the yellow teeth.
We’ll go after Luna, the top one, first.
Ideally I want to finish this without her having a turn. If she does get a turn I know that she has attack spells from her mage guild, that could really hurt my genies. The genies will be going after her ponies. The grand elves will take out the sprites and everyone else will try and kill the dwarves…this will never work so there is a chance that I will have to try and cast blind on the dwarves despite their 25% magic resistance.
Before we begin though, there is one thing I want to point out.
Heroes 1 Luna:
High as a kite.
Heroes 2 Luna:
What the hell happened to your apple...and your face?! 
And there is the first problem. The sprites survived. I’ll have the druids attack the sprites. There is no way that 3 druids can chew through 80HP.
And it worked. The sprites will now just park their dainty asses next to the dwarves and next turn everyone gets to attack them.
Or not as the genies overwhelm them in a single attack.
Victory!
Now for the last yellow hero.
Nothing is bought and my turn ends.
Day 11
Now to kill the little mermaid.
I can probably visit the shrine before hand, warn them about the noise seeing as we're neighbours now.
It was cold ray, which I already have.
Ariel is a pretty powerful spell caster and Jojosh only has 4 spell points, so no blind to help me this time.
The genies destroyed half the enemy dwarf stack and that's terrible. It's pretty bad timing for that specialty to kick in. By the way, there are no special effects for the effect, so you're not missing anything as awesome as the Heroes 3 Dread Knight Death strike. 
This isn’t going well. The elves only killed half their target. The genies were hit for 16 HP by the dwarves. If everyone gangs up on them I might lose one. I shall cast slow on the sprites giving my sprites and druids guys a chance to take them out.
"You're only second rate."
My genies! I forgot that the elves were still alive and were average speed thus giving the enemy their turn.
The sprites do their best, but only kill 4 of the sturdy dwarves.
The enemy sprites have a lucky hit on my sprites and their dwarves get two turns. But no genies are lost, just 20 sprites.
The druids relate the size of the fish they caught on a fishing trip and the sprites die of boredom.
Victory!
Logistics! Now we’re walking with carts!
And that was the end of yellow.
I construct a giant red tower in my backyard to celebrate. It also allows me to build Phoenixes.
Carlawn picks up some more gold and we start thinking about moving up and finishing this level.
Which is exactly what we’ll do next update.
I still can’t believe how fast this went…why did young me play so badly.