Toggle Background Color
Chapter 51: Sun Vulture and the Caravan Catfight
Music: Heartaches by the Number
Uhhhh, my head. Did someone drop a mallet on it or something?
Unless those bottles of my moonshine grew arms, no. You did that to yourself.
Fuck. Owwww. Wh-what are we doing in the bar in Boulder City?
You passed out in the Crimson Caravan offices. Alice McLaughHerTitty was kind enough to charge us to use one of their wagons to bring you over here. Took the long way around, too.
Well, thanks for paying for the trip.
No, thank you for giving me half your caps for the trouble.
Eh. It’d take me a Tuesday to get all those back. Why did I drink so much, though?
I’d tell you, but you’d probably just get wasted on my own supply if you had to experience the trauma again, and I’m saving for a year-long vacation at the Gomorrah right now.
Because we managed to drive all the Deathclaws out of Junction Quarry, the workers at Boulder City have come back to their jobs.
They mostly just sit around and drink, seeing as how the NCR still needs to get the limestone and equipment out to them, so it’s mostly just a population change.
I need to pass some time to kill this hangover, so life’s story time. Go.
Do I have to?
The ten-thousand caps in your burlap sack say “yes”.
<sighs> Fine. Ask away. (Drag your ass halfway across Vegas and I still get under the lamp...)
Where'd you get that pendant?
Mom said he got the name out of some Old World book about dirt pilgrims. Name sure sounds sweet, though.
Anyway, pendant's a little rose. Originally thought it was one of Mom's tribal necklaces, but no, came from Dad.
Your mother was a tribal?
You know, like one of the tribes from the East - we got 'em out West, too. NCR's herding 'em up, though, domesticating them.
Mom was from East of the Colorado, though, not sure what tribe. Was before the time Caesar rounded them up, made them Legion.
That's... one way to put it.
Didn't ask Mom to elaborate. Never heard her complain about his bedroom behavior, only complain he wasn't around to do it no more.
Tell me about your Dad. And please leave out the parts about his sex life.
Not my fault someone was desperate to pass on how “manly” and “cool” and “badass” he was.
Not much to tell. He ended up walking East one day when I was young and never came back. Not a family deserter like some, though.
As for Dad, I figure he just got himself lost or dead. <shrugs> Happens... and I'm not all boo-hoo about it, so save your glass for someone who's crying.
Any idea why he went East?
Got his name, got this pendant, and that's about it.
Where did you learn to shoot?
Short of caps is what taught me, mostly. Ammo's expensive... so I learned to make every shot count.
Any other weapons you know how to use?
What, you mean like spears? No, none of that. Mom was a tribal, but she didn't teach me anything like that.
You any good in a fight?
I'm fair with chucking dynamite and not bad with a pistol, if I do say so myself. Carry a knife, too, but that's more for practical reasons.
I have a gun that teleports me into a high-tech home in a crater, filled with robots with kooky personalities. For practical reasons.
You… sure you’re sober?
I miss them sometimes. I should visit them one of these days...
...forget I asked. Anyway...
Don't think I'm some kind of Vault City pacifist, though - if things get heated, I'll start shooting, trust me.
You've used explosives?
Dynamite's for when you don't have enough bullets, want to clear a pass, or scare off Geckos from a caravan.
Any event, I prefer shooting if it comes down to an argument. Don't worry, I'll carry my weight if a disagreement arises.
How'd you get started in the caravan business?
I'm familiar. Do you know what a fish is?
Well... of course I do.
And also they have holes in their head and cheeks for breathing… I think. Smart enough to have schools, too.
Anyway, I've seen pictures. One guy even had one above his bar in Redding, except it was made of Pre-War plastic.
So you just started in the caravan...?
Actually, it sort of fell on me. My feet get antsy if I stay in one place, like the Mojave Outpost.
Was driving me crazy, that feeling of being trapped there, so thanks for that.
So you traveled a lot.
What, like a courier?
Well, not as glamorous, I guess - roads back West were safer in most places. Most.
I’d say. <rubs forehead>
How's caravan life in the Mojave?
Well, I'm not one for soft living... or soft men, let me tell you. I'm guessing neither are you.
Not sure I understand your answer.
The Caravan fighting here in the Mojave... it's been downright brutal. The amount of caravan space you reserve for ammo alone...
Do you deal mostly with NCR?
Anyone wise does. Vegas families pay on time, from what I've heard - even the Omertas. The White Gloves pay on time, but they're... creepy.
Deal with anyone else, though, you're taking a big risk.
What about Caesar's Legion?
<irritated> The Legion? What about them?
All right, just asking.
Not every woman in the Mojave knows their deal, sadly.
Look, not meaning to fly off the handle like that.
They guard their roads, their supply lines - even Fiends would hesitate before going after any trader dealing with Legion.
You sound frustrated.
But they don't. Caravans get butchered in the Mojave all the time, like mine. And so fucking close to Vegas, you could see it from the wall.
There must be good parts to the Republic.
And Legion, from what I've heard, they don't do the "stop tolls" on the roads or in the outposts like some NCR quartermasters do.
You're lucky if you turn a profit sometimes if some new officer gets assigned a route, the fees just get worse.
Any other differences between Legion and NCR?
Well, as long as those companies were run by men. And that's the biggest issue I see.
And it's a shame, but I think there's people on the NCR side who feel more strongly than I do.
What do you mean?
Some caravans deal with the Legion now because the security. If towns could get the same protection? A lot more tempting than you'd think.
It's not hard for some folks to sell freedom when the alternative is worse. Especially if being with NCR is going to get you on a Legion cross.
What do you think of NCR?
I know which side of the firing line I'm on in the Mojave, just so you know.
There's a "but" in there.
Yeah, there is.
So they lack direction?
They try to put their stake in everything they see.
Yeah, I got that part, thanks.
So NCR, tries to hold on to everything. They can't, because it's too big for them to get their arms around.
So the Mojave suffers.
Aside from the people in the towns, it's the soldiers that suffer for it most.
And when those gangs were caused by NCR in the first place, like the Powder Gangers? Caesar on a crutch, don't get me started there.
So what's the alternative?
Look, don't get me wrong.
Yeah, I get it. And now to change the subject!
And right when I was on a roll.
What can you tell me about New Vegas?
Much as anyone else. Cazador trap - you fly in, the city sucks a pint out of you, then you're out on the street.
NCR makes a habit of going there and dumping cash, only the Strip gets fat off it.
Know anything about Mr. House?
Not much, and I haven't had occasion to look for anything more than that.
I've heard what most people know... he's said to run New Vegas, he runs the robots, but... well, no one's really seen him.
Okay, that’s everything I can remember. So damn early in the morning, need to fill up on my thinking juice.
It’s 4 o’clock in the afternoon, Cass.
<starts drinking whiskey>
On our way to check out her wrecked caravan, another Legion hit squad comes out to play.
Which gives me the perfect opportunity to show off the Two-Step Goodbye!
Every smack we hit with lets off a sparky explosion from our ballistic fist, and boy is it flashy.
And as promised, every time we kill an enemy with a critical hit, they later explode, damaging anyone else around them.
This is also the only update I’ll be using the Two-Step Goodbye, seeing as how the animation gets in the way of half the screen. So, sorry, but not sorry.
They’re all dead, Cass.
Then why are we crouched down? I want my nose as far away from these dead creeps as possible, not closer.
Oh. OH! Christ on a tricycle, what the fuck are you doing?!
Chrying ‘ew cuah mah hangovah. <swallows> Need to fill my stomach and get rid of my headache.
But do you really have to eat them?! What kinda sicko are you?
The kind who’s survived like thirty of these attacks and got fed up with it. Literally.
<sighs, swigs whiskey> Just keep it limited to the Legion and we’ll be as cool as a cucumber in a nun’s fridge.
Our Grubhub delivered by the Little Caesar’s crew finished, we finally make it to the site of Cass’ destroyed caravan.
Damnit. Surprised they actually left some of the stuff unburnt.
Guess whoever did this didn’t know how to destroy evidence or cover their tracks.
Most of the cargo's ash, too - not burned, looks like... disintegrated. When I heard the reports, I assumed "ash" meant "burned."
So close to the Vegas wall, too, don't that beat all. Must have happened during the day, though, they hadn't made a camp.
Why would they have done it during the day?
No idea. Maybe catch the sun in their eyes? Maybe they wanted the caravan to come to them, walk into an ambush?
We should check the wagon, they may not have got everything.
Whatever we find, it's yours - least I can do for hoofing it all this way with me.
And, y’know, taking half your caps off your unconscious ass.
Nah, nothing here really piques my graverobbing. Anything else on your mind?
One of our caravans got hit back a few months back, and the caravan'd been burned, too, along with the cargo.
I wonder if he made the same mistake, and that other caravan got hit with energy weapons, too.
Want to go check it out?
Yeah, it's a ways, though, hell of a detour. You sure?
Let’s go.
All right then, let's move out.
The next site is on the road towards Jacobstown, right outside of Westside. Same deal, different location.
This... is Brotherhood level murder here. But they don't do things like that. This was done with a purpose.
Let's poke around a bit, see what we can find. Might be something in the wreckage.
Hmm, some empty bottles, ashes, a plasma weapon… yeah, can’t find anything that stands out.
Where the hell did you find that?!
In the magical land of “right by your feet”.
...they've marked another spot. Over here, along this stretch. That's fucked up - middle of nowhere.
Want to check it out?
Yeah, something's wrong, I can feel it.
It's not any closer than the first, so if you'd rather let be, let me know.
Sure, but first, let’s see if there were any witnesses.
In those abandoned barns? Better than walking the roads in the dark, I s’pose.
The Horowitz Farmstead is an out-of-the-way place that doesn’t have much besides frag mines, Sunset Sarsaparillas, a star cap, ammo, and healing items in this lone barn.
Oh, and this rotting cow corpse. Cowrpse.
There’s also a ranch with a collapsed silo and a home further north.
It features a tumbleweed watching TV.
A tumbleweed asleep in its bed.
And a Speech skill book and a cattle prod, which deals fatigue damage in case you want to knock people out. There’s probably a star cap lying around on the ground, too.
We’re getting a bit too far away from the wrecked site. Nobody’s around.
Yeah, guess it was a long shot. Let’s head ba-
AHHHH!
Ahh! Where did you come from?
Right here... where did you come from?
Walked right into that one.
And walked right into great deal for Wind-Brahmin!
‘Wind-Brahmin'? You mean the tumbleweeds?
Tumble-whats?
Oh, you're crazy, aren't you.
How much?
All.
All of my caps?
They are very good Wind-Brahmin - all caps.
Maybe just give the invisible hulk what he wants for the dead bushes.
Okay.
Ha-ha! Stupid human!
So, which one did I buy?
You choose. Then leave. Driving away other buyers.
Hey. Maybe he’s seen something.
He better have, seeing as how he’s now set for life.
Babe the Blue Ox, did you see any attack on the wagon down south?
No, but did see potential Wind-Brahmin renters over where Glowy-Brahmin comes up.
Worth taking a look?
This is getting us nowhere fast, but sure, whatever. Not like the next place is leaving anytime soon.
Excuse me, did you guys see anything down south?!
Well, they had laser weapons...
But then why would they set up camp here? The map is showing the location further east.
Hmm. Well, at least I can loot these guys for some caps.
Better hurry. Don’t want any little green men coming down to probe us.
Oh, I already took care of that vault.
The mercs here are just a set spawn, but the leader carries a unique Gauss Rifle called YCS/186. Some of you may know what that means; it’s named after the ancient SA subform section called “Your Console Sucks”. 186 was the forum ID. It’s better than the regular variant in almost every other way except for weight.
Also I finally ran into an enemy that had some sick Authority Glasses. Like 70 hours into the playthrough. Yes, I know I could’ve just bought some, but it’s the principle of the thing.
With a bright morning just starting, we come across the final sacked caravan, just outside of Freeside.
Let's look around, something stinks.
Everything stinks, girl. No one’s made decent soap since the War.
Scouring the site gives us some actual evidence. We have a Van Graff thug dead on the ground...
as well as a Crimson Caravan Corpse. Something’s fishy!
Crimson Caravan and the Van Graffs... they were behind burning these caravans, and they've got to answer for them.
I'm going to get some extra ammo, a few bottles of whiskey, then show them how Cassidys settle accounts.
Normally, I’d be all for that, but you’re thinking too small.
Fine, give me some Dragon’s Breath shells from the Gun Runners, then we can go to town on them.
No, that’s not what I’m talking about.
Spit it out, then. Trigger finger’s getting a rash.
There's another way - we can get evidence, let NCR take them down.
NCR? Are you out of your fucking mind?
The harm to the Van Graffs would last longer - and travel back West.
All right, if you poke around the Van Graffs and Alice, fine.
That was easier than I thought to convince you.
Don’t get me wrong, I wanna blow both those bitches brains out. This just gives me more time to think up ways to make them eat their hair.
I get it, more than you know.
<raises eyebrow, downs a bottle of whiskey>
Whatever. Get movin’. Try Al’ first. Tight-asses like her keep records on how much air everyone breathe; bound to have kept some sort of agreement.
(Real ballsy to be opening up her safe during business hours.)
(As long as I’m out of their eyesight, I can crack this baby from the side.)
(Yoink-reka!)
(What’s it say, what’s it say?!)
...we should probably discuss this outside.
I’ve got plenty to process, anyway.
If you get both, then let's talk. And... I appreciate you putting yourself at risk like this. Thanks.
Thank me when we find the twin to this contract.
Gonna have to leave you outside the gate. Something tells me the Van Graffs will be a lot less… cordial than the Crimson Company.
Fine by me. Alright boys, mama’s gonna teach you some tricks.
<scared gulp>
Sneaking inside the Silver Rush is a bit more difficult, what with the increased guards.
And the fact the safe we’re looking for is behind a locked door.
Thankfully, the dim-lighting that the building loves to have (guess they rely on the glow of the energy weapons) helps us with our stealth mission.
We can either unlock the safe with bobby pins, or use the terminal right beside it.
Just knowing I helped them screw over their competition makes me sick.
That being said… hope Blake still gives me my discount after all this.
There’s an upper floor in the Silver Rush, but all it contains are some bedrooms and closets filled with energy weapons and slot machines they stashed away.
Before leaving the establishment with the agreement note in hand, let’s take a look at what special equipment we are missing out on. First is the Cleaning Flame, a unique Flamer that scales with the Energy Weapons skill (up to 10 dps for 6 seconds).
We also have the Sprtel-Wood 9700, a unique Gatling Laser that shoots green lasers. And The Smitty Special, a unique plasma caster made by some blacksmith in the Boneyard one hundred years ago, sporting lower DPS, lower crit chance, but higher rate of fire and larger ammo capacity.
And that’s how you get your dick out of a bottle!
Thanks, Miss Cassidy!
Anytime, fellas.
Alright, I’m done. You’re gonna wanna read this.
But... we got it, now what? Sure, this damns them, but only if someone listens.
Anyone you trust in NCR?
Well... Jackson in the Mojave Outpost could get it to folks in the West. I wouldn't trust anyone closer to the Colorado.
And the Crimson Caravan and the Van Graffs have their heart back West. Not sure it'll do any good, though.
After all the shit I went through to get this, we’re going to Jackson.
That’s more like it. Red tape, time to do your thing!
Y-yeah, sure, right.
Not to mention your drunken ass.
I’m gonna pretend you’re talking about a liquored up raddonkey you bought for me with MY caps!
<whistles innocently into empty whiskey bottle>
I have evidence of a caravan conspiracy.
What is it? Let me see.
<reads both transcripts> All right. This is... this explains a lot of the lost caravans. I thought it was Legion work, but...
Can you get it to the right people?
I can, if you make me a promise.
Always a catch.
I know some things are hard to let go, but you and Miss Cassidy need to understand that, hear me?
Was afraid you’d say that.
Cass, you just gotta be patient. Can’t rush these things. Trust me.
Whatever you say.
…
Well? What’s it gonna be, ladies?
Sure… no problem.
Hmmm. All right - you change your mind and start shooting, then I can't help you. Show up here after, I'll put you in chains.
Get on now, I'll make sure this gets West and let the wheels of law start turning in the courts.
God, what a mess. People turning against each other when the Mojave's at risk of falling?
For what it's worth, I appreciate you didn't shed any more blood. We need to save our strength for the Legion.
Just get it to the NCR government.
I'll do what I can - and those folks that got killed need to be answered for.
Are you all right?
Feels... I don't know. I guess I feel relieved. I don't know what I feel.
...
They're all so mired in procedure and paper out there, the kind of evidence we gave is going to be worse than shooting them.
I think that settles accounts with me - and my men. That was some tricky political maneuvering, but worth it, even if it takes a few years.
If you’re alright with this, that’s all I need to hear.
Convincing Cass to take the high road, despite the long wait, grants her the Calm Heart perk, giving her an extra 50 health.
...c’mon, cowgirl, I think I know what’ll cheer you up.
Party-time Mentats? Those just give me a buzz these days.
Nope, even better.
So, what, we’re gonna prank her?
I guess Ranger Jackson never said anything about putting her hand in warm water.
Nah, I have something else in mind.
A wet willy? Need a John for that, and some clean water. Not in the mood for going down on anyone right now.
Just sit back and watch.
Damn, that old bird FLEW!
What in the fuck did you just do!?
Raise your spirits?
So you’re not mad?
I was the one who wanted to kill them in the first place. Besides… that WAS pretty funny, gotta admit.
Right?!
Now, if you're done fucking around, let's settle accounts the old-fashioned way.
Let’s do it, then.
Might be a little tougher than the Crimson Caravan - Van Graffs are like a nest of rattlers, and the guns they've got are Brotherhood-caliber.
You sure you want to do this?
Oh, I'm sure. Killing never felt so good, could almost hear the dead behind me guiding my hand.
Got it. Let's loot the place.
<grins> Music to my ears.
Just pretend you didn’t see anything, she might not do anything if you say you didn’t see anything.
Maybe Don can be our new boss. Might actually get a day off or two.
Before we take on the Van Graffs, might do you some good to wear my sunglasses. Keep the lasers away from your eyes.
What about you?
<pokes own eyes> I can’t get anymore optical damage, even if I tried.
With Cass and Sun geared up, they take to Freeside in the dead of night.
The crier for the Silver Rush starts shooting us on sight. Not because of Alice, but because we ratted them out to the NCR. Priorities, you see.
But we have allies! The Kings have joined the fray, backing us up against the Plasma Pests!
With a gang war initiated, we march on up to the Van Graffs, lighting up the streets with green and yellow shots.
That’s right, just get yourselves all rounded up.
Here comes the wrecking ball!
I couldn’t get a proc on the Two-Step Goodbye, but we still manage to get through the second wave.
Really ruining the mood, buddy.
Fine, be that way, we’ll just leave. Good luck inside.
We will, thanks to THESE! <takes a bunch of drugs>
Just needed a little pick-me-up.
Well, keep it away from me, won't have anything to do with it.
Fine – wasn’t planning on sharing anyway.
Not looking to have my heart skip its last beat, even if I considered putting that junk in my system, which I don't.
Okay, sorry, didn’t know.
Just dispose of your needles properly and let’s get this over with.
Leave the bald chick to me!
Got it – I’ll take the brother!
Fat's in the fire now, you little bitch.
Cass has gotten her revenge, and now she can deal +15% more damage with guns. Even better, this perk STACKS with her Calm Heart perk. She’s now a criminal for the rest of her life, but at least she has some help.
Hope they're in hell right now, blinking, trying to figure out where they fucked up.
You all right?
You know, when I first heard about them, I was so mad, but there was this little part of me that said, "you can't do to them what they did to you."
I say fuck that part. I feel purified, and I love the fact that there's no more loose ends.
So that's it, then.
That's it. Except for one thing... thanks.
Not many people in my company would have done what you did for me without some hesitation or asking me to cool down.
You’re welcome. Let’s go.
Don't have to tell me twice, feel more alive than I ever have.
So, what about you?
Hmm?
You got some unresolved issues to take care of yourself, don’tcha?
What are you talk-
Oh, stop it. I’ve stared at myself in the mirror long enough to recognize that look. How we doing this, and to whom?
<sighs> That’s just it. I don’t know what to do. I’ve got a million ideas in my head, but none are good enough for the bastard I’m hunting down.
Sounds like you need to clear your head. Get a fresh perspective. Maybe even bounce some ideas around with complete strangers.
What do you have in mind?
Join a caravan. Doesn’t matter which one, although I’d steer clear of the ones we just pissed off.
You’d be surprised how much you can pick up when surrounded by new friends. I know I’VE certainly learned some new tricks from you.
In that case, I might know just the one that can help. Thanks, Cass.
Anytime, drinking buddy. Now to grab what I can before those one-wheeled metal monsters come rolling in, asking questions...
Howdy. My name is Jed Masterson, and I'm a caravan boss for the Happy Trails Caravan Company.
If you're hearing this, I have a job offer for you. Happy Trails is organizing an expedition north into Utah, off the Long 15, and we need people.
We're looking for caravan guards, prospectors, couriers - if you're used to humping it across the Wastes straight toward trouble, we want you.
If you've got a Pip-Boy, we definitely want you.
On the other hand, if you're a greenhorn or a city-slicker spinning tales about your skills, you can kindly go hang.
If we like your gumption, we'll pay you square and treat you fair. Find me, Jed Masterson, at the Northern Passage if you're interested. Luck to you.
