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General Snob, Mission 1, Part 3, JAFFA, FLEE!
Day 20
“General, I've been attacked on the Knight's castle! The opposing knight produced a strange staff from his back-pack that fired a beam of light that fried two of my cavalry!”
“I was afraid that he'd get to you before Sandro got to him... that's the only reason I allowed you to hire these cavalrymen in the first place. If he has such a powerful weapon, I guess you're screwed. Who is he?”
“JAFFA, KREE!”
“A big, dark-skinned guy... he looks at the same time pissed-off and serene... that's as disturbing as a goblin working girl. But it seems his staff is out of charges.”
“Lucky you... that's Tyro, some call him Teal'c, one of the most fearsome knights in all Enroth, behind Kilburn. 
He's not from around here, you know? Some say he's a space orc. It's been good knowing you.”
“What? His firepower is already spent, I have plenty of archers in both the towers and behind the walls... and I haven't even unleashed MY magic yet. Do not discard me so easily, general.”
“RIDE THE LIGHTNING! 
”
“Here's a trick I learned from cousin Flench and his friend Fubar.”
“Not every day you find someone able to throw an arrow with his bare hands across the battlefield. 
”
“The walls has been breached! The swordsmen killed one of our sisters!”
“Fear not, ladies! I've got a trick saved just for such an occasion!”
“
There's one still alive. Why haven't you fried both of them with a lightning bolt?”
“Oh... well... you see, 
my magic reserves aren't yet... I've failed, you, ladies!”
“What a bittersweet victory... I've defeated Tyro the Teal'c's army, but at more losses than it could have been.”
“He left his staff behind though... what's this? He had an artifact powering the staff! It is a Mage's Ring of Power, general! With it, I can better protect...”
“Great! Give it to Sandro.”
“... Very well, general. I will give it to the lich...”
“The Yellow lord chased after Tyro the Teal'c demanding he charges my walls single-handed, but the dark-skinned orc seems to be leaving him behind. Without armies to protect his land and no more Knights or other heroes to serve his cause he is nothing more than a straggler now.”
“One down, two to go, and now the advantage is solely mine!”
DAY 21
“Squirrel? I guess we're going to run out of nuts this week, at worst. What's this sound...? Are the sprites back? Take it out of my head! It pierces my heart!”
That's the Grassland's theme for Heroes II. This tune is very special to me. There are two songs I can say, without a shadow of doubt, to have heard in my dreams. And more than once... constantly, in fact. This one, in it's MIDI version, and Might & Magic VI's “Moonlit Snow Adventure” tune. For a while I had forgotten where this song that followed me in my dreams was from, and it really hit me like a rock the first time I reinstalled Heroes II in my teens, booted it up, started a scenario mission, and heard it. I literally wept.
General Snob's Journal posted:
“I've dispatched a band o zombies to hunt down whoever is responsible for that music that's haunting my dreams. I expect them to find it sometime between now and never. Meanwhile, I've dispatched Zam to ransack some nomads in the wrong part of town, who've built quite a treasure cove.
“Relinquish your ill-gotten treasure to Archibald's cause, bandits!”
“You think your imitation dragon scares us? Kill this vampire, men, and then stake him through his black heart, take his riches and add it to ours!”
The nomad is an overall a good neutral. Equivalent to a Tier3, they have good stats, better than most Very Fast units, and have great speed. 20 health is a bit low for a Tier 3, however considering they are rather inexpensive at 200 gold if you manage to find their tent they are well worth it. Their only oddity is their damage, which is one of the most unreliable in the game, so they're greatly affected by Bless or Curse.
“What sorcery is this! I can't see!”
“If you're going to make it hard on yourself, I vill not pass on your blood offering!”
“Skeleton battalion, advance!”
“We did not sign up for this! They're flanking us from all sides!”
“That monstrosity! It is going to kill us, it is going to kill us all!”
“Cover in the face of our powerful Bone Dragons! They're the last thing you vill see.”
“We're really reconsidering our terrible life choices right now...”
“And your last was to choose standing betveen me and my revenge on that horrible gnome!”
“What?”
“Vhat?”
“Victory is ours and ours alone, boss. They had a nifty set-up here, ransacking the peasants trying to flee the warring lands, capturing some to send to the crystal mines for the sprites to work them to death for their psychedelic rocks. And now, it is all ours.”
“Seems like you're finally making yourself useful, Zam. Good work.”
“Goddamn lich. I got this artifact fair and square from the bastard sieging my castle. I held my ground when even the general thought I was a lost cause. And now he gets everything.”
“What's that, genie? Please, grumble and mumble louder so I can hear your misfortune. Mage's Ring, though? Bah! It is not what I seek. Is it possible that none of the artifacts I'm looking for are here in Enroth? Will I need to go back to Antagarich?”
“If it is not what you are looking for... does that mean you can give me my artifact back so I can better protect the women and children of this castle?”
“Now, skadoodle away from here!”
“I AM WORTHY! OPEN THE DOOR YOU SELF-IMPORTANT RAT! Bastards. This place is well protected. Not even my magic can get through. FINE! I WILL INCREASE MY POWER AND BLAST YOU OUT OF THERE MYSELF!”
“Maybe if you asked nicely.”
“Was that the wind? Or something even less important?”
“Who's a good dragon? You are! Yes, you are!”
“
”
“Now we hunt food for daddy!”
DAY 22
“I hope the miller worked hard this week. If he doesn't want to become breakfast.”
“Damn... this is actually really nice. I guess I will have to pass breakfast.”
“And lunch too? The wee green man just left the gold here for us to take but is nowhere to be seem. Why everyone hates Rialdo? 
”
“We saw you around here several days ago! I knew we shouldn't have allowed you to leave and come back in greater numbers, blood-sucker!”
“Ow, but Vampires and Trolls could make such a beautiful friendship! You provide unlimited blood... and ve let you live!”
“Bury them, girls!”
“Have you seem the size of that thing! It will devour us all!”
“Vell, I can't argue vith that. When you're right, you're right.”
“Victory, and their bones, are ours, boss.”
“Having this battle vithout magic vas tough, but I managed. It made me realize I need more magical knowledge, though.”
“Oh, and their gold mine is now ours too, I guess.”
“You're not going to tresspass into the yellow lord's terri... AGH! MY EYES!”
“Sorry, if you think we're trespassing INTO the yellow territory, you're obviously blind. I just corrected that slight. Also, your orders are outdated, the yellow lord is no-more.”
“Does... does that mean we can just go away?”
“Nooo... it means you're MY reinforcements now.”
“You may be powerful, but we are resolute and we outnumber you! Come my brothers!”
“Oh, how droll. You really think you outnumber us? Go, my bone warriors! With the wind under your feet, reveal yourselves out of the trees!”
“That's... that's a lot of bones. ”
“Where?”
“Do you feel resolute still while you're surrounded by all sides? Do you really think you'll be on top, when the dust settles? By now, you must've realized. Hope is fruitless. All that is left is being reborn under my guidance, my power and my command! Skeletons, do your work.”
“This is not being very reassuring... are we really on the right side here?”
“Ah, to hell with it! We're obviously on the WINNING side.”
“Zealous fools. They cost me more than I was really willing to pay, but in the end, it was still a net positive for me.”
“Ahem.”
“What, haven't you noticed you're no longer my most valuable troops?”
“Hmm... water made living in these parts... but my magic reserves are low. Better return. But no harm in claiming whatever gifts the yellow coward left us, is that an Alchemist's Lab in the forest to the south?”
“It is unfortunate I actually had to resort to the riches I was saving... but with the mine Zam captured we'll be swimming in gold very shortly. So I guess I could spend a bit of it on more improvements. Quartermaster, what else you've got?”
“Oh, we could raise a nice obelisk in front of the Pyramid.”
“What is this? MORE decoration?”
“Obelisks are magical batteries, general. The embalmers will then channel its reserves into reanimating the most powerful and old of our dead!”
“Fine... it'd be nice to know how can a simple obelisk cost the same and need half the raw materials of the pyramid itself... but truthfully, that's actually more in line with what I believe this Obelisk should cost.”
The Royal Mummy is a very slight upgrade over the normal mummy, increasing only health and speed slightly, though it makes it tie with the Vampire Lords in speed they're still not that fast and the building upgrade is quite expensive, so it is not really worth it to rush it early in the game. The best improvement is that they increase the chance of cursing to 30%, making it so that nearly one in every three attacks is a cursing one, instead of every five. Their cost increases only by 50 gold to 300.
“Look smart... eh... men! I've detected enemy movement past the dwarves at the Gazebo in your part of the land!”
DAY 23
“If you wish, for a small investment we could make a draining system to dump all the toxic waste and other hazardous stuff into the graveyard where we dump the bodies we collect, instead of the nearby river”
“And why would I want to do that?”
“We're not exactly sure why, but the pestilent, mutant corpses reanimated after this treatment will actually shamble in a manner resembling running... and they're fairly sturdier as well.”
“You mean that's for the Zombies? Look, they're nice, obedient servants and all, but so far I've been unimpressed with their combat prowess. I'd rather see what your Necromancer friends will be willing to teach us after I improve their Spa.”
“You mean the Mage's Guild?”
“You've heard me.”
“The snack bar is finished, with the silk curtains floor.”
“... Terrific.”
Anti-magic is a great spell for Might heroes, as it allows them to protect prized stacks from spell shenanigans. For Magic heroes, however, it is much less useful, since it takes up a turn you could be using to fry half your opposition's forces.
Earthquake is... more useful for Magic heroes, but still a spell for Might ones. It causes a lot of damage to castle walls, easing siege, but the Necromancers already have good flying troops to fly over the walls so it is not that useful for us. It is a godsend to Knights and Barbarians, though, since they have a tough time getting past walls with no flying units. It might be useful to help our Skeletons get through, but a good spell power means there are probably better uses for our spell points.
“That's all you've got? You think you're what? Knights?”
“Since your servants are untiring, you can make them carry some more stuff with you. Have some carts pulled by the zombies with the stuff you need, instead of tiring your horse.”
“But my horse is undead too, it doesn't get tired. We usually have to stop just so we can patch ourselves together after a long day walk.”
“Then use these carts to carry better patching materials. Do I have to think everything for you?”
Strategically speaking... Logistics is probably the best skill in the game. It compensates for slow troops and makes heroes carrying fast troops even faster. It helps you chase running heroes better and allows that extra bit of movement to get where you need. All in all, the 30% movement bonus it provides at Expert will always be well worth it.
“Nice druids offer Rialdo new secrets AND a virgin sacrifice? BEST DAY EVER!”
“More elementals? Have they risen from the ocean just to stand in MY way? Very well, I'll back up a bit to bath in the waters from the magic well.”
“You, old man, I need more people exploring the surroundings of Night...shadow? Wait, are you sure this is a Knight's castle?”
“Yes. It was formerly a necromantic outpost. Cities change their history, but it is rare for them to change their names. There was a place I cursed all water to become wine, and they thought it was a blessing! And yet, they kept the name of Rivercity instead of renaming it to something more appropriate. Like Boozetown. The fools were still thanking me as they dehydrated themselves and died of thirst...”
“By the ancients, I did not ask for your life's story. Just take my gold and explore away.”
“Such a lack of respect for the one who was once the right hand of Alamar himself. Humph. If only that cursed Morglin had been contained before he became a threat, like I had advised Alamar, we wouldn't have been having this whole succession war problem. Alamar would still be ruling these lands and...”
“You're still here? And still talking? GO ALREADY!”
“I've found a mine of ores to the south of Nightshadow. It seems abandoned, but I'm camping by it to make sure there are no surprises.”
DAY 24
General Snob's Journal posted:
Today when I got some water from the well there was a green sludge in it. The Necromancers are really uncaring when it comes to hygiene, just because it won't kill them again, for most of them, anyway. I feel I'm being strong-armed into making those drainage systems into the graveyard by the quartermaster, but at this point it is starting to look like I don't have much of a choice.
I've taken a look into one of these “Mutant Zombies”. It is hard to believe, but they are ten times more stenchful than the vanilla variety. It is true! I've forbidden them from assigning any of these plague sacks into working anywhere near me. I've grown used to the usual rot of this outpost, but I will NOT submit myself to this new variety of uber-rot.
The upgrade from zombie to mutant is more important than the Mummy one, if only because the zombie is almost unusable before it and it becomes borderline viable after it. It is still slow, much weaker than the skeletons themselves, fragile despite their hit points, and their sole saving grace is that they come in moderate quantities, but nothing compared to the skeletons and still not enough to make them better than the mummies.
“Seems like my fears were unfounded. The mine was really empty and clear for us to take it. It is a shame to claim it for Archibald instead of Alamar but...”
“If you say Alamar one more time I'll unmake you!”
“I see you like to mix troops from different backgrounds. But you need to keep them in check if you want to keep their morale up.”
“STOP trying to look under our skirts! Don't you see we've got pants underneath?”
“We are NOT trying to look under your damn skirts, giantesses! It is not our fault that your damn legs are taller than our heads!”
“This is definitely harder than it looks.”
DAY 25
“Zam needs more gold, and general Snubble needs more Crystals, so you better give us what we want or you're going to give ME what I want.”
“And what is that?”
“Dinner! 
”
“Boss! Good news! Ve seem to be ahead of our enemies in the matter of armies. The orange Lord's Heroine still only got Rocs and the Green Lady's one seem to have only Druids! They're no match for our Bone Dragons! Ve also appear to be ahead in several other areas, according to the blind seer. Including tax-income! Ve also have more castles! On the downside... she says their heroines are more powerful than any of us!”
“PREPOSTEROUS!”
“Oh, for the love of... will EVERYONE intrude into my scrying channels? Sandro, why don't you prove yourself? Take your artifacts, and explore north!”
“Nothing would give me more pleasure.”
DAY 26
“Huh... I see some really angry lady coming for the Dwarves.”
“Her troops aren't that powerful... but the chilling blizzard following her tell me she'd be able to freeze my dragons solid in the blink of an eye! I'm not supposed to be the main course!”
“Take the dwarves before she has the chance! With their reinforcements, go to the gazebo and wait further orders.”
“But this will keep me in her path! And dwarf don't taste too good, tough meat. Not fair...”
“Och! Where dese monstrosities come from! AIE!”
“Not much to reanimate... But maybe it might work after all!”
“Well, at least I'm prepared to run away.”
“I seem to have found the Orange lord's castle. It is well guarded. Wait, wait, wait... what is that? I can't believe it! Castle Alamar? Under these damn dirty mages? You maniacs! You whitened it up! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!”
“Sheesh, issues much? In any case, I was fearing that. I have no-one useful down there right now.”
“Ahem. And what am I? It is my duty to avenge my...”
“Like I said. No-one.”
“This is our turf! Pay the toll and we might consider... ”
“I will literally never tire of doing that, literally. Now, would you kindly keel over and die?”
“You're blocking my way. I can see the wizard woman from the Orange lord past you. If you could just get out of my way. My skeletons will even assist you.”
“In the end, they were nothing more than reinforcements. At least they had some schematics on a stronger catapult in their camp. I'll put that to a good use.”
“I might not have be able to reach that cousin of Halon's today, but I sure have the time to try and recruit your lazy corpses to my cause.”
“But we'd not make good soldiers! We are men of piety!”
“Who said anything about you? I'm talking to your bodies.”
Visions could be more useful, but it is just too expensive to really help. It might give you the information you need if, say, you're facing a stack of wandering monsters in those ranges of numbers that are the most vague. Namely, lots, mainly. 20 - 49 is a huge gap, and it can be useful to know if it is an easy encounter against twenty or a tough forty five one.
“DIE, creatures of bone and empty heart cavities!”
“Hey! That's racist! Just because I didn't resist the smell of elf?”
“We've heard what you did to our kin in the west! Back to the dust from whence you came, abominations!”
“TASTE THE LIGHTNING, THEN! Really, taste it. It is tasty!”
“It will be lightning against ice then! Hope your dragons can take the hit! ”
“And I hope there's something left from your elves after they're ganged up by three dragons! No, really, I want dessert, otherwise this will be all for nothing!”
“Two dragons, you mean, surely!”
“Eh, lucky shot!”
“Damn dwarves! Tough, stringy meat AND never die! I'm all out of magic and there are still over twenty of them to my handful of skeletons and single bone dragon! If only she stopped freezing my dragons!”
Tanky creatures are great for Magic heroes precisely because of this. A battle that seems already won can always turn the tables as long as they have the spell points to keep casting and destroying the opposition. Astra had 50 spell points and only now she's spent half of that amount...
“Rialdo! I told you to stay back!”
“Oh... but she... she had elves!”
“And?”
“ ”
“Well?”
“ 
”
“I'm waiting for the part where you tell me how that is relevant in any way or form. Forget it. Miss Astra, Rialdo is an idiot. How much would you require to let him go?”
“The crimes of this monster are nothing compared to yours! You will NOT... what? How... Alright. The green Lady said I should let this monster go for the low price of 937 gold. Please, tell me you don't have that kind of currency.”
“Oh, but I do. I anticipated I'd have to bail someone today. Rialdo, come back.”
The worst thing in all this is that her morale was horrible because of this mixture of troops added to the Bone Dragon penalty and yet only once her troops froze in fear...
“Oh, for the love of... You got attacked too?”
“Yes, just as I planned. I sent the vampires ahead and fried the Halflings with a lightning bolt, but she ashed my vampires with two lightning bolts of her own. In hindsight... wasting my magic reserves on the nomads was a poor choice.”
“She's going to defeat you! I can't bail another one of you.”
“Oh, will you shut it? I have my skeletons, just need to make sure they're not attacked directly by those zombies. Where did she get so many zombies anyway? I thought it was another one of these wizard girls who had zombies falling in love with her. The kissing one.”
“DIE, BIRD! Victory will be ours!”
“Such violence! Rocs, destroy the golems this abomination stole!”
“Oh, your birds won't outrun my army of the dead! Skeletons, cut these turkeys in two!”
Looks like a neat effect, but this is just what happens when a game doesn't have vertical sync...
“You let your moderate company of zombies fall into my trap! Now they're surrounded!”
“How could you! That's dirty play! Dirty!”
“And now your zombies are no more. That's what happens when amateurs try to harness the dead!”
“She gave me more trouble than I thought, but I'm triumphant, of course!”
“So that's why her troops were mowing mine down so easily. She had found a four-leaf clover! It is not one of the artifacts I'm searching for, but I will not pass it up.”
“Oh, look, there was another four-leaf clover beside the one she left behind. I'm not superstitious... but it doesn't hurt to carry a few.”
“Guess you really are good at this whole 'let nothing stand in my way' thing you do.”
“When was there any doubt?”
“DIE, MIDGETS!”
“Oh, by Morglin's mummified balls... you too!?”
“General, I found one of these filthy, bleeding-heart wizards! I will defeat them all, for the glory of Alamar!”
“What? Defeat? Impossible! General, pay my surrender and...”
“To hell with you! They can put you in chains and leave you to rot for all I care. You're too stuck in the past to be of any use.”
DAY 27
“I've got reinforcements. I heard Rialdo had to surrender! Vhat a disgrace! Vith my forces, ve vill tip the scales!”
“Rialdo, you've failed me, but I'll give you another chance. Will you accept my gold?”
“Only because I'm still hungry. Hungry for revenge!”
“Well, let's see if the priests at the Nightshadow will have something worthwhile in their mage's guild.”
Paralyze is Blind's bigger brother. For all effects and purposes, it is the same as Blind, but will also prevent the retaliation when you break it with an attack. For 50% more spell points, this is not really worth it, but sometimes it is all you've got and it makes it possible to defeat much more powerful stacks of enemies... if you have the spare spell points.
Well, my plans of advancing east were curbed by enemy heroes popping up from all directions. But thanks to the damage Rialdo caused, even though he lost, and Sandro's victory, we are now open to attack both lords at once! No vote now. Next time: We are going to win this.
[END1]
[START2]
General Snob, Mission 1, Part 4, A Cacophony of Ice and Thunder
DAY 29
“Finally! The Astrologers accepted my bribes!”
“You said you'd kill us and let Sandro 'recruit' us if we didn't give you a good month! That's not bribery, that's extortion!”
“Potaito, potahto. Now I know they haven't had a good week to reinforce and I'm still on top with Zam bringing in MY reinforcements!”
“I may be spent, but I can always find time to squash worms.”
“AGH! What is that thing? Shoot it, shoot it! 
”
“These women have chosen the wrong mine to dwell in. Swordsmen, cut them down please, but mind the bones, we're still recruiting.”
“Sorry ladies, but the boss is the boss.”
“More recruits join our cause. And the mine is ours. Maybe if we donate enough crystals to the church we may attract a few fallen paladins as well?”
“Agh! Monster! Out, out! Go eat the kids in the oven and leave me alone!”
“Wait. You mean that people can offer me better people to eat if I leave them alone? This is... something marvelous!”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever fills your bloated stomach and your rotted mind. They're 'al dente'!”
Rialdo learns the closest thing to diplomacy he'll ever get.
DAY 30
“Lots of corpses in the mine, but nothing else. Now that I had my brunch, you can send the zombies in.”
“Some blond chick is coming to take Nightshadow. I better go protect it or something.”
“I'll attack the volves blocking the vay! SIT, BOY! Good boy!”
“Just as planned! The volves smelt whatever it is that makes everyone hate the liches so much and vent straight for them, alloving me to surround the vicious critters.”
“The volves are gone, and their victims shaw reinforce us vell!”
“Quartermaster, we have lots of resources coming in now, I need to be able to properly convert them into more currency and I can't have my lackeys going up to the trading post every time. What do you suggest?”
“If we let the Merchant's Guild take a cut of every transaction, they can set up shop in our castles.”
“Fine. If it is not much of a cut.”
“WHAT? Twenty tons of ore for a single cauldron of mercury?”
“Well, after the guild's cut...”
“Preposterous! How can we convince them to get us a better cut than that?”
“If you expand their domain, they'll be eager to give us better contracts.”
“Too bad I can't just slay them where they stand... that way no more merchants would come...”
DAY 31
“Nothing like bathing in magical waters to feel the power restoring to my bones.”
“Remind me to NEVER drink from a magic well again, if that's how liches utilize them.”
“Zam, give the reinforcements to Sandro now that he's recharged and go back to bring more.”
“Why Zam never gets the fun?”
“Because some are meant to rule, and some are meant to carry the luggage of the former.”
“You say one word, ONE, about how I go with chianti wine and I will use this Evil Eye on you so that every time you try to eat someone they'll turn to tofu with raisins in your very mouth!”
“NO! Not the saddest kind of cookie! Alright, I'll fork over the money, evil little men.”
“Glad doing business with you!”
“She's nosing around in our turf, but she haven't yet closed in enough for me to intercept her.”
“With the marketplace you opened in Nightshadow the Merchants are happy to give you better deals.”
“I wouldn't call 14 large logs of wood for a single cauldron of mercury a good deal... but I suppose it is technically 'better'.”
DAY 32
“The secret is to remember everything is conductive, so the lightning, if powered and aimed properly, can hit dozens of the enemies of your liege with a single casting, no matter how far apart they are from each other! But remember to check if there are enough enemies before doing that, or it can backfire...”
“So that's the secret to 'instant barbecue party'? Now I'm sure I could learn this spell if someone was willing to teach me!”
“It... is... named... 'chain lightning'. You need help.”
DAY 33
“I was going to take the gold and give it to you... but someone offered me a state-of-the-art catapult for the gold and I remembered you can all rot in tatters for all I care. So there.”
“Halon, make some trades and see if you can convince the clerics to improve the mage's guild in Nightshadow, Sandcaster is too far away for it to be useful anymore (and I'm tired to indulging these bastards).”
“Sure thing General. They agreed. And told me they can teach me two very powerful and interesting spells.”
“Chain Lightning is a favorite of mine and many genies, like cousin (thrice removed) Solmyr. It is a very powerful spell in it's own right, but the battlefield version the clerics are going to teach me is much more, since it can explode amidst formations and then cross the battlefield to do so again against other formations. This version is very unwieldy, though, and it will always follow the best conductive path, even if it means electrocuting your own formations.”
Chain Lightning is technically the most powerful single-target spell in the game, doing stupendous 40 damage per point of Spell Power to the target (enough to kill a War Troll, two Dwarves or forty Peasants per Spell Power). I say “technically” because it will then jump to the stack closest to the primary target for half damage (for a still impressive 20 damage per Spell Power, equivalent in power to a Cold Ray, equal to a Mutant Zombie, four Centaurs or Twenty peasants), then again for one quarter damage (a middling Magic Arrow, but that's still one Ranger per Spell Power, five Sprites, OR ten Peasants) and finally one last time for one eightieth damage (5 per Spell Power, or the power of the Death Ripple DARTH has been using, but just to one target. That's one Centaur, two and a half Sprites, or five Peasants). It is usually still worth casting it if you're going to hit three enemy stacks, but extreme consideration must be taken if you're not sure if you're going to hit more than two. Sometimes it is better to target a non-essential enemy stack in order to ensure most of the damage is going into the enemy instead of you. As the battle progresses, it is obviously better to start using more focused spells, like Lightning Bolt.
“Mass Slow is a nifty trick, covering every enemy in a battlefield in a thick but clear mist, almost as heavy as water, severely hampering maneuverability. Many a legendary warlock ensured the outcome of a battle with a single cast of this spell. Alamar could probably have kept Morglin's legions of cavalry and paladins at bay forever had he had this spell, but history shows he most clearly didn't. Though Morglin WAS fond of Anti-Magic, so historians are unsure.”
“Are you done? Geez, I know you got some new toys, but there's a time and a place.”
Slow is good, but Mass Slow is great. Flyer heavy enemies lose a LOT of their advantage when their fliers are grounded and forced to move their actual speed like everyone else (take THAT Sorceresses! And Necromancers, to a lesser extent... though the best flyer from the Warlocks is still unimpressed), but any army is severely crippled when all of their units are suddenly slow like golems... while slow creatures like Golems are pretty much locked in place. If you don't have Mass Haste or Mass Dispel to counter-act this spell, it can sometimes win the battle single-handedly.
“With these new powerful spells in my book, I will reclaim that Laboratory easily. If the blondie comes back to face me, she'll save me the trouble of going to her!”
DAY 34
“Arr, matey, want me to teach ye how to properly navigate Enroth's treacherous murky waters, or to better spy yer enemies and learn their closest secrets?”
“Technically, either. I have no need to sailing right now since, despite this peninsula being surrounded by water, no-one thought to have a single shipwright built in these parts. And my enemies rarely have secrets worth learning. But if I have to choose, I guess I will choose the one that's rarely ever worth it to the one that's assured to not serve me.”
“Fine, be tha' way. Landlubber.”
Eagle Eye gives you a set chance to learn spells cast by your enemies EVERY time they cast it during a battle. I actually find this skill useful, as you can't always bank to have the spells you want in your mage's guild. Sure, you will learn your enemies spells anyways once you take their castle, but usually by then you're already on the offensive and winning anyway. When you're on the defensive and the enemy is coming to you, this can be a life-saver if your mage's guild let you down (or, more likely, you hadn't even had the chance to develop it in the first place.)
“You know what? Screw the lab. I've got the power, better put it to use. Even if I don't have Sandro's bling.”
DAY35
“The Ore mine tells me there's a castle close. Unfortunately, none of our guilds have provided us with useful utilitarian spells, so I'm afraid I'll have to guess. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, I feel the fear of some... does.”
“That... was easy. And abandoned too. I'm so, so disappointed right now.”
“Come now! They're not even trying!”
“You may have found us and avoided our mistress, but you'll never break us or our spir... ”
“Now you're simply ASKING for it.”
“Shoot the undead, malignant, reanimated warlock! Oh... I guess his liches are good too...”
“Warlock? That's so twenty years ago. These wannabes you can slaughter at will, though, see if I care.”
“Don't mind if I do.”
“BLAGH! This... is... DELICIOUS! Everyone should feast on a unicorn once in their lives!”
“They didn't even had the courtesy of having a GOOD Mage's Guild to teach me? That's low. Even for these silly girls.”
“I must say, I'd never think I'd agree with that monster, but this is also underwhelming. Where's the blond that was running from me? Believe it or not, that single group of Golems is actually a detriment to my plan!”
“I must protect the sprites for the time being, my magic isn't very effective against these spell-crafted marvels.”
“These golems are too tough and their towers killed all my troops, I have no option other than escape... didn't even had the chance to cast my new spell since it'd do more harm than good against a single formation of golems...”
“Halon, that was bone-headed move. You really shouldn't have attacked a force of golems if all you have to show for yourself are spells.”
“Tomorrow, more troops will be at our disposal. It was, but a setback.”
“Look! In the way back I was able to corner some boars!”
“What about your skin?”
“They fear the lightning burning everything around them more than they hate my skin color.”
“If you say so.”
DAY 36
“Squirrels again?”
“After the scrambling we had to go through to get your 'PLAGUE', we had a lot to fix.”
“I'm sure you won't mind, and I really don't care if you do, but I gave them permission to build a third floor on the mage's guild here in Brindamoor, so that my trip here wasn't a COMPLETE waste of my precious time.”
“Trip? You came and conquered our fair castle!”
“So you keep reminding me. What a horrible trip.”
“And it almost was a complete waste anyway, since one of the spells the druids uncovered was Mass Bless. Who needs that, anyway? If I was to try and say the incantations for the Gods, the Ancients, or whoever it be, to bless my army, they'd much more likely smite me where I stand.”
Mass Bless is not as useful as it looks. The problem is that at 12 spell points it is at the upper end of costs for third level spells, and most of the time only one or two units in an army will really benefit from it a great deal. It is still an overall improvement in damage, one way or another... as long as you have troops that can actually be blessed.
“But the other spell they uncovered actually made it worth it. The fools and warmongers seem to have a lustful drive towards fireballs. I've always preferred it's more controllable cousin, the Cold Ring. It is no use to vanquish everyone surrounding you if you have to take yourself with them.”
Cold Ring was a spell I hated because I thought it was bugged when I first played the game. Again, my english wasn't that good and I never really bothered reading spell descriptions, rather counting on the spell icon or the spell animation to infer what they did. This led to many a cast of Cold Ring right on top of enemies. Then I got the impression this spell only worked on large creatures...
It does 10 damage per Spell Power to everything in the SURROUNDING hexes of the targeted hex (that's one Orc, five Rogues or ten Peasants per spell power), which means you're better able to control the multiplier of this area spell. It is better damage than Lightning Bolt as long as you get at least 3 targets, which can be easy if you use a small, flying creature as bait... and the Vampire Lords certainly fit the bill.
DAY 37
“Ah! There's one of the runnaway girls.”
“Stop where you are, abomination! How dare you run behind our backs and rob our homes?”
“It was just THERE for the taking. For as much of a waste of my time it was conquering it, no self-respecting necromancer would just wander past it. It is more your fault than mine, really.”
“Don't talk with the creature, just act! Attack him before...”
“He exploded our powerful unicorns with but a single spell! We're doom...”
“RARGH! Shut up, already. Recognize when you've been bested.”
“BLAGH!And we get the dessert! Sweet, sweet, pixie dust!”
“Uh... now that I thought about it, maybe we'd better talk? Is there anything you'd like?”
“Is that a new recruit voluteering?”
“Mommy!”
“Actually, you're so pathetic that you amuse me. If you lug my stuff around for as long as I deem like it, perhaps one day I shall find it in my funny bone to release you. Until them, you are re-branded 'bone-brush girl'.”
DAY 38
“Hey, look who's here!”
“Remember me?”
“I granted you safe passage! And you come back to ransack our homes and destroy our families?”
“Actually, the one who did it was mister light callories deeper into your territory. I'm coming just to eat your families.”
“Yummy lady, do you think your hooded burgers' would rather be well-done or DEEP FRIED!”
“Fine, you electrocute my druids, I'll deep freeze your damned liches!”
“Going after the liches? Could you be less original, yummy lady?”
“Oh Gods, those monsters! How could we agree to joining them!”
“Och! Our axes are nae doin' much of anything to that thing! 
Only our lady's magicks even dents it! We ar' fuc...”
“LAN... 
...GUage...? 
Uh, funny, that almost never happens. The arrow just flew a sad couple of feet and hit the grass. Guess I will have to leave you to the dragons.”
“The Green lady was in a tent left behind by the angry yummy lady. She...”
“I really think I don't want to know, Rialdo. Keep your depravities to yourself.”
“Ok... (She offered me some estates and more gold and I let her go, and the druids were very good deep fried so I wasn't that hungry.)”
“HOLD IT! Past this point is the land of the Orange lord, you have to pay the toll to pass through!”
“I was going to show you my permission to freeze your assets, but since you'd rather be impolite and just make a wide wedge formation to go after my liches, I guess I'll have to just burn them instead.”
“And I'm afraid I have more than a few skeletons in my closet. Quite more, in fact.”
DAY 39
“Now, Rialdo, pass the horrible, unblinking eye to the nice lich. And the troops you've managed to not lose against Astra.”
DAY 40
“You might have routed the Green lady, but the Orange lord has the designs for the most powerful beings in all the...”
“Designs? You mean he has not built them yet?”
“Yeah... well... you know, if he just had the gems...”
“Then why are you wasting your breath and MY time talking about it?”
“As a penalty, I'm going to confiscate your halflings and some of your mages. They'll be in a better place in my fridge.”
“And I'm afraid that's a no-parking zone, you will have to forfeit your Rocs. If you can't, my skeletons are going to retrieve them for you. In pieces.”
“Those are illegal golems. You're going to have to disassemble them for evaluation. My bone dragons can help you there.”
“Is this a joke? Do you find this all a joke?”
“Please. The living are far from a joke in my book. They'd have to improve a lot to get to the level of a joke. No, no. They're just paperwork.”
“Let that be a lesson to any aspiring liches. Going for field work is to ask a giant target painted over one's head.”
DAY 41
“I've cornered the last of the Orange forces. They took refuge in one of their labs. There sure seems to have an overabundance of mercury in these lands.”
“It is over now! Resistance is futile! Now, you'll bear witness to TRUE POWER!”
“Those dirty damn chimps! We're almost there, men! Press forwards! CHARGE!”
“Those leadership lessons really paid off.”
“Damn, this is close. I'm almost spent, but my opponent seems close to her limit as well.”
“Surround the dwarves! They're tough, but not invincible!”
“PHEW! That was close.”
General Snob's Journal posted:
Lord Archibald, it's been 42 days since you appointed me to Sandcaster and tasked me with crushing the opposition in your lands. As I write this, Halon had found the Orange lord in a tent abandoned by the last sorceress to pledge herself to him and the wizards. He begged for forgiveness and offered a great amount of gold he swore to have hidden somewhere in his lands.
This letter should be arriving with a box, inside the box is the Lord du Orange's head. Of course I didn't accept his offer, we cannot abide to have such treachery and duplicity among our ranks. I'll send legions of Zombies to scour his land for his alleged hidden gold, but I'm afraid it was never there in the first place, or lost forevermore.
I'll send a more complete report as soon as I assess the situation.
Your most loyal servant and General,
General Snob