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General Snob’s Journal posted:
To Archibald the Merciful
The crushing of the dwarves was as entertaining as it was exasperating at times. They offered great resistance, especially against our spells, but warlocks are nothing if not outrageously good at blasting things into oblivion. As we speak all the dwarven villages burn the night alight under our glorious banner. The dwarves that turned and helped our cause were then well rewarded to keep marauding Roland’s lands and thwarting his efforts to further disgrace their morale. Our names now bring as much fear and dread into the heart of their people as the stony gaze of a cold-hearted medusa!
Unfortunately your loyal subjects seem to have vanished! The first to do so was Kastore, that blue skinned elf of dubious allegiance and dangerous ambitions. When I sent for him to come to our celebratory feast with Unicorn mutton his chamber was completely empty. Not only that, but the powerful Wizard’s Hat he had acquired had also vanished. The minotaur guards stationed at his door reported a flash of light coming from underneath. I suspect he might have learned Dimension Door in secret, or had a Lloyd’s Beacon in place, and recalled with our possession! It is impressive, really. I’ve issued a reward for his capture.
“Ah, the Transwarp Signal worked perfectly. It is a shame, but from what I’ve managed to study from this ship’s logs, Sheltem’s destination is a place called XEEN, and our destination is not that. My transmitted simulacra was able to determine that it was in a continent called Enroth and after cross-referencing it in the ship’s logs I’ve found it is a planet called ‘Enrothian Colony’, whatever that means. It was seeded and developed by a splinter group from the Ancients, trying to hide from the ‘Creators’. Possibly the Kreegan.”
“Can’t you do your thing and correct our destination?”
“We’re already way off-course. We’d reach this XEEN a couple decades after Corak at least. Personally, it is his own fault, or the ship’s fault. I think it may have lost Sheltem’s signal and decided to go to this ‘colony’ as a default destination without checking if it would have the energy to keep us in Cryosleep for the whole journey. Then after it reacquired his signal it was already too far into its destination. Maybe that’s why it woke me up. It must have scanned me and discovered I was the most fit to find a solution to our problems. How are our supplies, by the way?”
“Low. From the food we still had left from Blistering Heights we’re almost out. If the others wake up, we’ll only have food for a few days, but between the two of us we can last a couple of weeks yet. In my search of the ship I haven’t found anything like food storage or any functioning fabricator. Would there be any point to eating the others in Cryosleep?”
“It’ll be years before we reach Colony, so no. And eww. I’ve set up the Wizard’s Hat my simulacra found to be Transwarp-Beamed back to The Loncoln. It’ll still take a few days, but if I did everything perfectly, it should reach us in the transport room and I will be able to power my spells for days at a time. With a modification of the cold magic I learned there, I can keep us in Cryosleep, waking up every fortnight to renew it, and this way stretch our supplies until we reach our destination. Maybe even set up the ship to be powered by the Wizard’s Hat, and this way get the fabricators back online.”
“Then we’ll survive, at least. Anything else of interest?”
“Oh, yes. I’ve studied the Logs some more. Apparently this Colony is not as rich in Ancient tech as our Terra. By design! By powering the replicators from The Lincoln, we could conceivably conquer the whole planet with a comparatively small number of followers. Unfortunately, it means I need Resurrectra’s part of the ship’s code and as much as I try to use the ship’s scanners to sweep her mind, I confess I have made no progress in that front. Oh, it also seems like the elves from this Colony, or at least the ones from Enroth, are of the same skin hue as humans, so once we land I should probably do something about it to avoid attracting too much attention.”
“Human-skinned elves? That’s the weirdest thing yet.”
“I know! It is so wrong on so many levels. I will be transmitting another simulacra into Colony, now, to learn more about their customs. You can go back to Cryosleep. Or you can help me and do the same. I can conjure a simulacra of you, as well. Though, if you want, I could make it human or...”
“Hah! Not a chance. You’ll send me like I am.”
General Snob’s Journal posted:
Wrathmont was present at the feast, but midway through he rode on top of a Black and flew into the horizon, ignoring all my attempts at communicating with him with any scrying channels I tried. Well, actually, he did send one reply, but it was nonsensical gibberish. All he sent was...
“Falkor, AWAY! I can’t believe YOU’RE called Falkor. It’s a childhood dream of MINE!”
“For the last time, that is NOT my name. How is it even possible for you to still be drunk?”
“SHUT it, Falkor. There’s a COUPLE of bullies you still have to gobble up. Well... not exactly BULLIES, more like tax collectors that have foreclosed my lab. They’re GLORIOUSLY fat, though.”
“I’m starting to have the terrible impression that you do not, in fact, know the location of the Golden Goose like you claim.”
General Snob’s Journal posted:
Barok, unfortunately, was not seem since the feast. He might have fled from us with stolen property as well, since thirty-thousand gold is unaccounted for. At any case, I’ve also issued for his capture.
“Hello? Anyone out there? I seem to have woken up in the dungeons by mistake. Can someone open the door?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, we’ve seem to have misplaced the keys. *SNICKER* I’ve called for the dungeon supervisor, but he is away on vacation. He’ll only get back in a week. Or twenty. Or not at all! Who knows what may happen to him on the way?”
“What? Is this one of General Snob’s schemes? I will NOT be the fall guy for whatever plan he concocted! You think locking me up in here all alone is enough to keep me contained?”
“Oh, you’re not alone in there. I assure you.”
“What do you mean I’m not... no. No! I never found out what you did with all the frozen sprites...”
“*GIGGLE* Do you wanna play, old man? We are cold. We think we will savor your heat.”
“Get away from me, you pests!”
General Snob’s Journal posted:
Last, but not least, Arie, the monster expert, has also not been seem since the feast. He assured me that he would follow me to the very end of this campaign, but the next day his room was a mess. The quartermaster says signs of struggle are clear and his bed was broken in half. I can only assume he was kidnapped by one of the Sorceresses as revenge for taking their castle. I sent to Ergon asking he sent trackers to Sansobar in order to track and find Arie, but I’m afraid we must fear for the worst.
“Gods above and below, Ariel, you’re a wild one!”
“Shut it! Geez. It is not like I’m proud of it.”
“Come on. You must be a little proud. They would think I was kidnapped and gave a hell of a struggle if I hadn’t told Snob of my absence!”
“Alright. Fine. Yeah, that was a little crazy. But why are you coming with me to Carator Mountains? I thought you were having way too much fun with your dragons.”
“Oh, I was. But you helped me out in there. It is only fair that I help you out in return. Then I will go back. After all, I did warn General Snob I was just going to accompany you into your trip during the feast. No worries.”
General Snob’s Journal posted:
After Arie, that’s all of them, I’m afraid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF-evHj3qtc
“Well done, general. The King of the Dwarves was so unhappy with your work that he has sent me some hate mail. It reads: ‘To Archibald Ironfist, Murderous and Vile Usurper: We bid you down, down, down to burn forever in the fires of eternal damnation! We pray that your foul general, who we name forevermore Dwarf-Bane joins you in this fate.’
How charming! The King of the Ogres has also sent a message on this matter. It seems that they were pleased with the outcome, and have offered to permanently ally with us and send us troops. And now I must direct you to an urgent military matter involving the Lorendale valley barons. Two have openly declared support for my rebel brother, a crime that I cannot tolerate. You must generate an army from scratch using the castles of two of my loyal supporters. I will view failure with displeasure.
PS: Ignore the blue glow. We’re having some technical difficulties. It might cause you health problems including but not limited to: headaches, poverty, failure to achieve priapism and shrinkage of power.”
“General, this is Roland, your rightful king. I have a proposal for you. Come and fight on my side. You and I both know that you are wrong to work for my evil brother. It must gnaw at your conscience to know that you serve an unjust usurper, and for what reward? Money? I can give you money too. I offer not just riches, but honor, duty, and purpose. Come join me and serve the cause of justice. Now, what say you?”
“I trust that you’ve ignored the blue glow? I do care for your health.”
“Oh, right. I did. No-one wants to suffer shrinkage of power.”
“Very well done. As you approach Lorendale Valley, I urge that you choose which fort you want for yourself. One of my personal outposts is there and one of the barons once housed a barbarian mercenary company whose fort you can take over. The Necromancers, while weakened by the Wizards offensive, endure like they’re known to do and still have one of their guild’s base of operations in the area, though it is just an under-developed school.”
“I’ll pass on my decision as early as I am able, my King. By the way, what do you want me to do with the Medusas we found in the dwarven lands? They’ve pledged to your cause.”
“Medusas, you say? Hmmm... tempting. But, not even I enjoy the prospects of turning people to stone. Such a horrid fate. I wouldn’t even do it to my own brother. That’d be too evil for evil’s sake. Dismiss them, find them a nice secluded place and dump them there. That is all.”
Again time for a vote, dear goons. This will be a very small map, but a lot can happen. Vote now for Necromancers, Warlocks or Barbarians. Since I’ve already introduced all the three, I’m expecting any of the three in this map, though one of them is at a particular disadvantage. Betrayal will not be an option because Darth and I already decided we’d keep a pure campaign. Besides, the betrayal, while it provides some interesting contrast to the game and the campaigns, don’t really build up anything more story-wise, unfortunately, you just straight up switch to the opposing campaign and continue from there like if you had started there the whole time.
If you do finish the Necromancer’s mission instead, this is Archibald’s speech:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UQc7l-fOf8
“Congratulations. You have simultaneously weakened our enemies the wizards and strengthened our friends the Necromancers. The Necromancer's guild sends its undying gratitude, and wishes to inform you that one of their best practitioners will always be available to serve you for as long as you serve me. And now I must direct you to an urgent military matter involving the Lorendale valley barons. Two have openly declared support for my rebel brother-a crime that I cannot tolerate. You must generate an army from scratch using the castles of two of my loyal supporters. Do not fail me.”