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Part XXXI - Goondalf the G(alactic)
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So last time we got this from Bones's chest, which we will need to free our bro Felious.
It... certainly has some bonuses. And some penalties. If I didn't like swinging swords and such around so much I might use it. For now, Icharas can have it.
This makes his Strength so low that he can't even use a dagger without taking a damage penalty. 
Before we undertake this noble quest though, we should secure the area. Don't want any Naga or anything intruding on our ritual.
Or... whatever is on fire inside this building.
There are ghostly Sha'men standing next to this prone figure, occasionally casting spells on it.
They can't or won't attack us, but we can't affect them either.
This other door is sealed shut for now, so we will have to explore elsewhere.
The Naga aren't too dangerous when they only come in pairs, but there will be more of them later.
They're not worth unleashing the full fury of the mirrored Goonsquad upon.
Most of the pillars are ruined, but a couple are still intact. No way to open this one at the moment though.
This door, on the other side of the big structure the lady was in, is also sealed shut.
Beyond this bridge in the eastern corner of the Astral Plane is another intact pillar.
While we have a Brood Token, we need something else to activate this portal.
The important thing is, the area is secure, so we can begin.
I have need of your knowledge and wisdom, Felious.
It would seem that I have nowhere to go, nor anyone else with whom to talk. I will gladly share what I know with you, Goondalf the G.
In talking with your skeleton, I may have found a way to free you from this place.
Your words give me hope, though I have prepared myself for the worst. I cannot imagine what you plan to do, since I am effectively bound as long as the lich's spirit clings to mine.
In your grimoire, Bones found an incantation that could force all of the lich's remaining essence to take form here. With this accomplished, I hope to destroy the monster that holds you. [Showing Felious's spirit the incantation] Am I correct in my interpretation that this is how the spell will perform?
I am ready, Felious.
Proceed with the incantation, Goondalf the G.
[A long and elaborate string of arcane phrases follow]... So mote it be!
Here he comes! Strike quickly and without mercy, Goondalf the G!
I will finish him once and for all, my tormented friend.
Alright boneheads, let's do this.
HA! How does it feel to get immediately Held for a change, computer!
Goons, come forth!
To arms!
For Felious!
...Can we talk about this?
The most dangerous part of this battle is that while the lich is vulnerable, he can still cast his instant death tornado.
Sorry guys, I have to dodge my doom!
Stop moving around so I can kill you!
Gyaaah!
The lich has fallen in a green haze! I'm sure that's fine! Victory is ours!
Aww, putting a smile on a turbogoth's face. 
It is somewhat bittersweet though, because only characters who specifically took the Apprentice specialization at the beginning of the game are even given the option to do this quest. If we had been a Scout or Squire, Felious would remain trapped here, potentially forever. 
So, good choice, thread!
Is there any message you would like for me to carry to those still living?
When you return to Avalon, make sure you relate the service you have done for me to Elarath. He should be very interested to hear of this.
I will faithfully carry out this request. Farewell, friend Felious.
I have freed poor Felious' soul from its imprisonment on the Astral Plane. I had to fight the lich again in order to accomplish this task, but Felious is now free to depart to the realm of the dead as soon as he deems.
Astounding. Absolutely astounding. It amazes me how far you've progressed in your magical abilities since the first time I've seen you. You give me no choice...
There's no reason to overreact, Elarath, certainly you don't think I'm a threat...
What? Whatever are you... [He blinks, throws back his head and laughs in a flurry of white.] No, no, Goondalf the G! You are to be promoted! Your strength in the mystical arts is already quite impressive, and with this latest feat, you've proven yourself worthy of the title of a Wizard.
YES!! YER A WIZARD, GOONDALF!
I am honored, Elarath. Is there anything I must do to retain this new status?
No rituals, no tattoos or secret handshakes?
Ha! No, nothing of the sort, although had you been a student at the Academy, there would have been a celebration to mark the occasion. To make up for the lack of fanfare and celebration, I have a gift for you to mark this occasion. I hope that you will find this staff useful; it is, after all, a more appropriate weapon for a mage than some rusty blade.
Thank you for this honor, Elarath. Words alone cannot express my gratitude.
Nonsense! It is your due, Goondalf the G, and I'm sure the others at the Academy would agree with me. Good luck to you.
Thank you again, Elarath, and farewell for now.
Check out that beauty! 
Bah, who needs Stealth?
True power is now ours!
The actual bonus is modest, the real reward is officially being a WIZARD.
What do you think, Felious? Pretty cool huh!
How about you two? Man, it's awesome being a wizard, right Pell?
...
(She has no new dialogue yet. She will later though.)
What do you think of Pell's collaboration with Elarath?
Lahren: Her divination work on the dream-troubles of Avalonians means a great deal to her. I'm very excited to see her involved in such an important -- it's certainly eased the burden of her own troubles. Also, it's good to see her making a place for herself here, since we've been unable to put down roots anywhere for some time. Hopefully, my own studies will prove valuable to Avalon, and I can find my own place of acceptance here.
Did you know Elazar has a book that talks?
Lahren: For a person of my inclinations, it would be magnificent to meet such a wonder! I must confess that I have never before heard of anything like this. Perhaps someday -- with Elazar's permission, of course -- I can experience this marvel first hand.
Thank you, Lahren. I must depart now. Farewell, and may the good spirits protect you.
BONES I'M A WIZARD.
I... know?
The main reason we came back here is that I forgot to actually pick up the medallion we need to enter Frosthelm. It isn't automatically put in our inventory like the Grimoire was.
We can also yoink Felious's Ubergoth wardrobe.
I mean seriously look at the names of these things.
The Shadow Garment looks great on Goondalf, but we have to shelve it for now in favor of the Tunic of Warmth.
We also divvy up a bunch of those Rings of Cold Protection we pilfered from the assassinated Sha'men to ourselves and our party.
Now we are ready to chill.
Oh god, this might be the brightest environment yet.
Dogs please don't listen to the ogre, let's be friends.
Oh, actually it's a yeti.
Most things here are pretty weak to fire, so this doesn't take long. Sorry doggos. Please don't haunt us.
Have to heal up before moving on though, because that yeti hits hard.
Looks like someone lives here! We should say hi.
I am Goondalf the G, and I am seeking the Muir so that I might aid my people in a great struggle.
What exactly is your mission, young Goondalf the G? If your struggle is worthy, perhaps I will aid you.
My people have been besieged by a horde of barbarians, known as the Sha'ahoul, who seek our utter destruction. Despite all our efforts, we have been unable to repel them from our lands. Now, we believe they have taken their assaults to a new level -- their mages are directly tampering with some of our citizens' spirits. I hope the Muir might tell me how I can prevent this.
Surely Aenea, the Astral Guardian, would not allow this! Since first I traveled through the Astral Plane, she has stood watch, thwarting all who would use this crossroads for their own nefarious purposes. Did you not encounter her near her temple before you came here?
You must mean the woman that the Dreamwalkers have incapacitated with some sort of binding enchantment.
What are these tricks you speak of?
It was worth saving up points for this stuff!
Selecting the Advanced Energy Management training for that awesome Mana boost bonus mostly.
Then we are unceremoniously dumped in a cave full of skeletons, which quickly killed the wolf I summoned. Sorry!
More and more pour in.
They are easy to kill, only taking one fireball apiece usually.
But our Mana is drastically reduced for the fight, so we have to aim carefully or leave ourselves open to being sworded.
Not that one sword is a huge danger, but if five skeletons surround us that could spell disaster.
So many bones. Do they think and feel like Bones does...? Eh, not worth worrying about.
Making sure to pick the spells up too, since they are good. This one in particular. It counts as an "indirect" attack spell, so the increasingly common Deflect spell won't stop it.
I pretty much only use this in clusterfucks where it's hard to click on an ally for Heal.
Now for the Mystic Arts training.
I am ready, Glaucus. Let us begin.
I've been waiting for you, Goondalf... the Imposter!
!!
You tamper with forces beyond your ken, Goondalf. You know not what disaster you court with your mystical meddling!
Wait, hold on!
Me's! Attack!
Ha! You think the Flames of G will avail you against me? They are my body and soul!
It doesn't matter how many of us you kill, fool.
You know deep inside how truly weak you are. Why do you think your reflections are so pitiful?
Yes, slay yourself all you like. It will not defeat the gnawing hollowness at the center of your soul. That emptiness will always be there, no matter how confident and in control you pretend to be. The act didn't save your father, did it?
Oh, that's low. Screw you!
Hahaha! Let your own fire consume you.
Can we talk about this instead?
No.
You think skeletons are your friends?
They are tools, nothing more.
You think you're a "wizard" now just because some old geezer gave you a nice stick? Don't make me laugh! You're still a child, unable to comprehend the grandeur of the forces you manipulate.
That's it, I've had it with this nonsense! Me's, deal with this pompous windbag!
Who's even talking anymore? I can't keep track!
How many wolves will you murder before the end of your journey, Goondalf? How many you's must you sacrifice to accomplish your goal? So many have died already, which you no doubt try to justify as "temporal eddies" or "experiments". You KILLED them, Goondalf! They were thinking beings, and no matter how powerful you become, you can never bring them back!
You lie! Just die already!
Surely you ... surely you can now see the fate that awaits you. Why do you... fight against it...?
...
I thank you for your instruction, wise Glaucus; you have already done more for me than I could ever ask you to do. Farewell.
We have more to talk about with him, but Goondalf needs a break after that ordeal. Next time!
AVALON FASHION SHOW
Goondalf retreats into the solace of leather and kilts this week.
A return to a simpler time back home, when he was a young lad climbing trees and getting in sticksword fights, and his family was still intact.
A time before he commanded the very forces of creation.
Will things ever be that simple again?