Toggle Background Color

Hello everyone and welcome back. Strap yourselves in, because this update will not be a short one. Before we can go take on the Infernal Cult, it's time to take a gun off the mantle.

NATHAN is deathly allergic to both ground and fire, things the Infernal Cult has in spades. RHYDON also joins him on the bench because this is Fancy's last hurrah.

At the time was a funny name, but this is better. Name courtesy of Zeratanis who was on point for this. Psyduck is little, yellow, and different so it fits! Explanation, in case you don't get it.

Not bad, not bad at all.

And because Golduck is no longer little, yellow, or different...

"Naproxen", I hear you ask, "what is that?"

He's big, he's blue, and he don't got a headache no more. So with the terrible jokes out of the way, here's the team that will take down Zenith!

Beeisel has a Lax Incense because she's my tank. She's also got all physical moves because of Shift Gear and how it buffs physical attack.

If Defiant triggers enough, or if he's allowed to Bulk Up enough, Centaurion's 217 Attack becomes 868! At which point I'm pretty sure he just transforms into Saitama.

It doesn't take Naproxen's supposed psychic powers to see why I'm bringing him. We already fought Primal Kyogre 16 updates ago, and there's no reason to believe that the game would get more merciful since then. A Cloud Nine Golduck is a hard counter to Primal Groudon.

Gateau is right behind Centaurion in the "will punch out God if she's given enough prep time" category.

Fancy has changed very little since we first started using her. Unlike her comrades, she can't buff her own attack stat to apocalyptic levels, so she has to "only" make do with Mega Evolution. Make no mistake, she can still kick ass just as hard as everyone else.

And finally we have Dracolich. He actually learned a new move at 77! Outrage is nice and powerful, though it does use his weaker Attack stat. Also for some reason, he can't learn Sludge Wave. Oh well.

So now that we're actually ready, let's go kick some ass!

First off, the Rose Crater is fucking gigantic. I more or less take the direct route through, but there's so much to see here. It's also got a really high encounter rate with fire type pokemon. On top of that it's also permanently hailing in battle.

That's either Double Team or Giga Impact.

I thought about going back and going to the left, but then I took a few steps and ran into a wild battle and stopped caring.

wonder what that was all about?

I see the caldera is full of adrenaline junkies.

There can be only one!

Do I need a reason?

Amy don't give a fuck who these boys' daddy is.

There's the other of the two TMs!

Hm... maybe I want to go another direction.

Back past the EXP grinding Ace Trainer...

You didn't try to show me anything! You sicced your pet hydra on me. Jerk.

Well can't get past this pool of lava, so back the way we came...

That's just wrong.

Alright fine. Let's sneak in with the group. This is also a point of no return. Once we start this event, we can't leave the Infernal Base until we win. So be sure you're ready!

: Ah, Amy, it's good to see you. I guess it's down to the four of us. The Infernal Cult works from here. This is where the broadcast signal came from. It's like a maze in there, we have to be careful.

Calreath remains one of the few good people in this region.

Um, okay. Sure. Hopefully Diana and Cal brought their A-teams and not just whatever they use for challengers.

: The main priority is finding a way to reverse whatever mind control he's got the region in. But if you see Zenith, get him. There's no way he should last against two legend-users, no matter how strong he is. Amy beat him before, after all.

I somehow doubt he's still weaker than Diana.

: Nora, we'll go first.

Pas de problème. We got this.

: You're with me, Amy. Let's go. As long as we're careful, and more importantly, quiet, we'll be fine. We'll meet up with them and... yeah. Hopefully.

Oh no.

: You've been lying to me this whole time. I finally bit the bullet. I followed you, I had to know. Wherever you go... Darkrai is always there. Following you, admiring you. How Dia? How do you do it?


: You abandoned me here, Dia! You left me!

: But no, you were too scared!
: Persephone, please be quiet. They'll hear us.
: I am DONE being silenced by you.


: We were cultists! Don't you remember how awful it was? You left me in that hell, and you expect easy forgiveness? Do you know what I had to do to escape? How I-

Great Persphone, just great. Your ranting caught the attention of the wrong people.

: I know we're enemies, but let's try and be polite to one another, hmm? Guards?

: You'll love it here. We have complimentary butlers and a nice heated pool. I'm afraid the lighting is a little bit different than the rooms under your base, Persephone.


: I'm disappointed you had to hear all of that. I'm sure you've figured out my ability. Mind control is such an ugly term... I perfer "mind optimization". And plus- it's not perfect. I need someone's DNA to do it.


: In fact, I have the DNA of almost everyone in the region, thanks to the vaccine. I really owe Reukra one. Fake vaccines are such a convenient excuse for getting the DNA of everyone in Torren.

: Diana was able to escape- it seems that legendaries are strong enough to let their trainers resist my control. I was worried you would be the same. But then I heard that prophecy. Of course, you thought that meant you had a traitor in your midst. But now you know about my ability...

: I'm going to keep drilling you, constantly reinforcing my power onto you until your mind becomes mine.

We get control here and we have no choice but to walk to the back of the cell and put our hand on the wall.

: This is going to be fantastic. Next, I'd like you to-

An explosion shakes the base.

: ...okay, then. This can wait. It seems like a fight is breaking out down the hall. I'll be right back. It seems your friend Calreath and that girl have been found.

: I'll be back in a couple minutes.

Ignoring the fact that Amy was not disarmed prior to being captured, she's also a child. What are children really good at?

Annoying the shit out of adults.

Really annoying them.

All it takes is just some sing-song taunting. Or just "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey."

This grunt is not a smart man.

I got some bad news for you, bucko. Amy isn't the one locked in here with you...

You just locked yourself in the cell with her.

Her and her demon elephant.


Welp, now we're free and we're disguised like a cultist. Let's go make mischief.

We can unlock any of the cells with our fingerprint. This one in particular is quite nice...

Corrode is an Insurgence-exclusive move. It's a poison-type move that hits Steel for super-effective damage! 70 power, 10pp, 100 accuracy.

According to the wiki, only 7 pokemon can learn it. We can't get Delta Tentacruel's line until postgame, and we can't get Delta Metagross until after we're done here. So we'll just hold onto this for a rainy day.

We're on the second row of cells on the right. Let's head up first.

definitely joined of my own free will!

This base is pretty much Fancy's playground. The list of things she can't one shot when mega evolved is vanishingly small.

I like this guy.

"Permafrost sets an entry hazard around the target Pokemon, which will Freeze them upon switching in."

Cool. I asked about it in the Insurgence discord and one of the staff members said it has a 1/8 (12.5%) chance to freeze a target upon switching in. Doesn't seem like it's worth the move slot, honestly. Someone else recommended Livewire for an entry hazard, which they said always works unless the target is Electric, Ground, or Flying type.

This is the large room in the northwest of the map. It's locked and can't be opened.

Don't mind me, just your ordinary Infernal Cult grunt. Walking around with a Golduck. As you do.

: You know, the one kid who could actually take us down? The one kid who I asked you incompetents to guard? Our big announcement starts soon. We can't have her interfering.

Are you serious?

show you.

I like this guy. He's here just to troll the people rolling through with ground types. Both his pokemon were Whiscash and Quagsire.

That's rude Cal...

: Yeah, I'm talking to you. I'm just- Amy? What? Mew... transformed you. Wow. That's actually a pretty awesome ability. Manaphy could get me out at any time. I'm just waiting for a time where I won't just... y' know, get caught and put right back in.

: Listen, I have an idea. You said there was another guard with him, right? Perfect, this might work. Go on, follow them. I'll join you in a bit.

Sweet. Looks like a plan is coming together.

Done with this floor!

We're in the southeast. The main entrance is just to the west, while our objective is obviously in the northwest. There's also a Chansey just north of where we are because while the game can be mean, it's not outright cruel.

his bad side today.

So let's head north first. A source of free healing is much appreciated.

Feeling a little better now that we aren't running on fumes.


Totally rifling through the boxes.

helping, and the lava makes it sweltering.

You heard it here first. Convection doesn't exist in the pokemon universe.

Back in the south to explore the front part of the base.

These two are fawning over Zenith and refuse to move. So we're stuck here for the duration.

really having a tough time.

We're quickly running out of places to go.

So now off to the west!

So looks like the only place we can go is straight to Zenith. Fair enough.

Saving here because you never know what's going to go wrong in these battles.

: Glad to hear it. Are the cameras rolling?

: ... ... ...what. Is that... a Manaphy? What is a legendary pokemon doing here?

: Heart Swap, man. It's Manaphy's ability, a move only it can learn. In battle, it switches the stat changes of two pokemon, but outside... Well, whoever was standing here is in whatever prison cell where you kept me. Amy, you can come out too. Give me a hand.


: Not that it matters. The entire region is under my control, as well as two of the most powerful pokemon in existence- Heatran and Groudon. A prophecy and the future itself protect me.

: Remember: I was at the library with you! I heard the oracle tell that the chosen one would join my cult! I'll tear you two apart, one pokemon at a time! So... who wants to go first?

Calreath status: still fucking awesome.

: You're the leader of the Infernal Cult- you use Fire- and Ground-types. I run a rain gym. You won't last five seconds.

: You two better get this on camera. I want the entire region to see me throttle the person I told them to hate. 3... 2... 1...


: You look confused. Did you really think I was going to battle him? I don't take risks when I can help it. This isn't a game. That trap door opens to deep into the base. Very deep.

: Groudon, come on out.

: You, on the other hand, I want to keep for myself. But most importantly, I can beat you fairly.

: I want to enjoy every last moment of battle before I take my place as Augur.

This battle is going to be a bitch no matter how you look at it. I've tried to prepare my team but...

I'm giving the highlights for a reason. We all know how I present these major battles with play-by-play commentary. So if I'm giving highlights then that means it's a failure reel.

Chandelure one shots Mega Fancy.

Centaurion loses 3/4 of his HP from an already-nerfed Overheat.

Golduck vs Groudon.

Golduck vs. Primal Groudon.

Primal Groudon's weather effect activates.

Don't forget, this is a Cloud Nine Golduck. This is a super fucking major problem. The one hard counter to Primal Groudon just simply doesn't work.

So let's try that again. At the time I was thinking... y'know, maybe I swapped Golduck in too early and the Primal Reversion cancelled out Cloud Nine.

So we have to sit through the entire preamble again.

This time Mega Fancy is slower than Excadrill and takes a little damage.

Chandelure doesn't one shot Fancy with Overheat, but instead uses Shadow Ball.

Volcarona comes out third, which lets Centaurion introduce her to Stone Fist.

Centaurion vs. Primal Groudon

Centaurion, to his credit, manages to survive a Stone Edge.

But all he's doing is scratching Primal Groudon.

So here comes Naproxen again. This time Groudon has already undergone Primal Reversion, so Cloud Nine in theory should work.

NOPE. It's actually a legitimate bug in Insurgence. Cloud Nine just doesn't work. So now I've got big problems. I'm stuck in the Infernal Base in a fight that I can easily lose if I misplay. And on top of that, I'm stuck with a pokemon that practically nobody used until Gen VI because it just wasn't very good.

Naproxen, to his credit, managed to deal some damage to Groudon.

Dracolich hits Groudon hard with Outrage, but then takes most of his HP in retaliation.

Then Zenith undoes all the work that three pokemon combined did.

In short...

I'm screwed.

Gateau is one shot before she can even but out Shell Smash.

Beeisel chips away at Groudon, but even her defenses can't survive all of its super powered hits.

I lose, and now I'm mad.

I'm just throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks. Naproxen goes out first to see if it makes any difference.

Surf hits extremely hard anyway, so Naproxen washes away Excadrill in a single hit.

Then he repeats the performance on Chandelure. While he may not neuter Groudon, he's still doing a number on the rest of Zenith's team.

Volcarona blasts Centaurion, with, well, Fire Blast. In return it eats a quadruple weakness from Stone Fist and does down like a sack of potatoes.

I can't wash away Groudon, but what if I just point my Death Elephant at it instead?

It can't one shot Mega Fancy with Precipice Blades.

And she can two-shot it with Earthquake.

Zenith seems to realize that because he panic withdraws Groudon. Slight problem, though... Fancy is strong to everything else he has.

I'm sure this would have been terrifying to face down but Fancy just one shot it.

Sure, whatever.

She's hurting, but...

Die you son of a bitch!

Mega Fancy rules.

While Fancy is strong against Blaziken, I'm not gonna underestimate it. It's a Speed Boost Blaziken with a mega stone.

Great job, Fancy. You did amazing.

Low Kick hurts quite a bit!

But in the end, Naproxen came through like a champ. That's a one hit KO from surf!

: ...and now I can't even stand up. Slumped against my pokemon. How embarrassing.

: ...can I help you? Your timing isn't great.

Excuse me?

: What? Who... are you?

: What are you talking about?

: What if I talk... in this voice?
:'re the prophet. From the library. Ugh... you're not... real...?

: Man, I had thought you figured it out when you mentioned L Frank Baum. You know what book he wrote, right? The Wizard of Oz... and do you remember the plot twist of that story?

: Just a single man pulling some strings. A few flashy lights, fancy explosions, timed smoke. It's really eas to fake an amazing effect.
: there was no prophecy?

: A hero that would rise up and defeat the cults- it seems to be coming true, after all.

: You were never actually supposed to recruit Amy. That part was made up so you'd drop your guard long enough for her to beat you.
: You're working for Her, aren't you? She's been plotting against me this whole time.
: Sure am. She sure was.
: Don't you know what happens if she wins?

Uh, this sounds really fucking bad.

: Meh. She'll help me through those minor setbacks. Plus, I was promised a fortune.

: She gave him his freaky powers, and it's thanks to her they didn't work on you.

I don't appreciate being made a pawn in some puppetmaster's game of 7th dimensional chess.

: No, I'm not a cultist. I guess the best word would be mercenary. But the person I work for... you do not want to get on her bad side. Really, it's Her fault the cults ever existed in the first place, when you think about it.

: After all... the Infernal Cult came first. You'll meet her eventually, don't worry. But for now, you have a job to do. Looking around now, I see an unconscious man with some touchable blood, and broadcasting equipment.

: You have maybe a couple minutes to disband the Infernal Cult completely before Groudon gets hold of the equipment. Let's see what you can make of that, eh, MacGuyver?

There's a lot to unpack there. So let's not worry about it just yet. As much of an asshole as he is, the Oracle is right about one thing... we can end the Infernal Cult now.

We'll win a Gol-Emmy for sure.

There's nothing I love more than dismantling something's power base completely.

We just dismantled our third cult.

just... vanishing, that easily.

I'll be taking that.

You know those Manaphy statues we've been seeing all over the game? We can now swap places with them!

Oh no. It's still looking for Cal? That's not good.

: Persephone helped me escape... We need to clear out of here...

Groudon appears to be making its own escape.

: The mighty Groudon, consigned to a pathetic cult.

: Together, we could-

Groudon sinks into the lava. Ouch.

: Well, that's new. Legendary pokemon running away from me. Never seen that one before.

The whole base shakes.

: What's that shaking?
: Probably Groudon. It's heading back deep into the Earth.
: That shaking really... can't be good, especially in a volcano. Is it going to erupt?
: Probably not. But the base built inside of it seems to be collapsing. We need to get out of here. Nora, you go on ahead. Amy, I want you to follow me. There's someone we need to see on the way out.
: Um. Okay. How do I know I can trust you?


: You guys better be right behind me...

: I'm going to try and make a point, but... Ah, you'll see. Don't worry- we should have some time before things get too bad.

That hallway we couldn't access earlier is now open.

: Perse. The base is shaking! It's collapsing. Please. You need to help me out!
: I've finally figured it out, Dia. You were telling the truth all along.
: Can we talk about this later? We need to hurry!
: Darkrai was never going after you.

: It makes so much sense, in hindsight. They're considered two sides of the same coin, the New and Full Moons.

: You know what I have now, Diana? Leverage. WIth your Cresselia, I can convince Darkrai to do whatever I want.
: Persephone. Please. You need to get me out of here.
: What does this remind you of?

: But if you don't help me out, I'm... I'm not going to make it.
: Oh I'm sure you'll find a way out. After all, I was able to. We're even now.

So yeah, Persephone not only is pathetic, she's also a terrible fucking person.

: I... ignore her. We're in a hurry. The base is collapsing quickly. Amy, I really need your help. Please. One of the rocks that fell off dislodged the fingerprint scanner, so the lock is jammed. I can't open it.

: There might be a button to override the locks and open every door in the prison. Please go quickly. The base could collapse any minute.

It's a pretty clever Heart Swap tutorial.

: Let's get out of here.

: I saw Persephone escape earlier, but I didn't want to leave until I saw you two.
: We're fine, Nora. Thank you for your concern. You don't need to-

The base just collapsed.

: Well, that was loud.
: I guess that's the end of the Infernal Cult.
: Kind of ironic that a cult of fire and ground was buried beneath the earth. Listen... we need to press forward.

: I'm going to go trace her down- she's clearly going to try something with Darkrai again. I think it would be best if you two just went onto Narra Town and continued through the Pokemon League. There's no 8th gym- not since the First Augur disappeared- but maybe you can find a leftover badge so you can enter Victory Road.

: I'm going to confront my sister once and for all.

: Hey, uh, Amy. I didn't want to ask this in front of her, but did you see Calreath get out? I haven't seen him yet... I'm sure he's fine. I'm just a bit worried, is all. Nevermind. I'm sure he got out OK. I'm going to keep going. Narra Town seems like a safe bet, but I'm going to check out Gaea Town.

about where we can find badges there.

: I think it's best if we split up. You just keep going south, okay? And stay safe. We may have beaten two of the cults, but I know three more that'll love to get their hands on us.

Finally this marathon-length update comes to an end. I have bad news, though. Calreath is never mentioned again, and in the postgame when you can return to the Infernal Base and go lower, you find no traces of him. He's gone for good.

NEXT TIME: On to Narra Town, and then back to Midna Town and then to the Darkrai Base in Shade Forest. Diana is kidding herself if she thinks we'll let her do this alone.