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Hello everyone and welcome back. Today's update is gonna be a tad unfocused, because it's running around the game world clearing up dangling threads. So just bear with me as we take a trip around Torren to meet some new legendary friends (and then capture none of them).

First of all, I checked the town map. After we subjugated Arceus and consolidated our power, the game set the Gen 2 roamers loose on the map. I was hoping that they'd show up here, but no dice.

The chances of finding Entei, Raikou, or Suicune are slim to none. So then, too, are our chances of ever seeing Ho-Oh. You need all three roamers in your party before the game will let you go meet the phoenix.

There's another legendary with similar requirements. Thankfully, we've already captured both Groudon and Kyogre. So I can show this off.

We need to return to the Jade Tower.

What? This is only supposed to appear here if you're playing on the "lighter" story mode. We already got this once way back 51 updates ago. No idea why it appears here again. Well, whatever.

Back up to the roof we return!

The combined might of Kyogre and Groudon cause a mysterious stairway to heaven to appear.

Rayquaza is up here in the clouds.

And it's one of the only legendaries we'll catch for the rest of the LP. The rest of these fuckers need to have their catch rates boosted.

This actually stumped me and forced me to look up the answer online. These stairs aren't exit enabled. Instead you need to stand exactly where Amy is now and hit the "use" key.

I wish I could say that would be the last awful design decision in this update, but I'd be lying.

For my next trick, Glory goes onto the bench.

Then we pull a creator deity out to take his place. Arceus here already has its crystal piece, so any battle we send it out in, it will instantly Primal Revert to Primal Arceus. Even better, because it's a Primal Reversion, we can also mega evolve something in the same battle.

Outrage and Judgment are fitting moves for a god. All the fans love to act like Arceus is like the Christian god when it's more like a Shinto god. So more akin to Amaterasu instead of YHVH.

The point being that Arceus now has two extremely powerful moves it can spam and get STAB on. While by definition it can't get supereffective bonuses, it doesn't need them.

Next we take our little creator up to level 110. Here are its stats.

Then we rename it to Kami.

This is nice and all, but something's missing. In the next update, we're going to tackle the Elite Four Rematches, so why don't we go all out? There was one Delta I covered a while back and remarked how broken it could potentially get.

This is over 2 hours later. Nessie is a Delta Aurorus. You might recall I mentioned this pokemon could potentially turn into an impenetrable wall that can theoretically PP stall damn near anything.

Let's take a closer look at the whole team for the last time.

Charsi has a frankly absurd amount of physical defense. As long as she's not hit with a water, fighting, or ground attack, she'll shrug off most anything else. She's like the bigger, meaner, nastier version of Beeisel.

ScubaSteve was put on the bench in favor of Nessie, so I had to redistribute his coverage elsewhere. To that end, Ramses got a fighting move. He'll probably never need to use it, because when you have priority item-less Acrobatics, why ever hit anything else?

Cirno easily turned into this team's MVP. It's honestly a pity that I accidentally evolved Noel before he got Moonblast, because he could have been with us for the vast majority of the LP. This lady here kicks unbelievable amounts of ass and is a surprisingly sturdy Special Wall.

Hard to believe it, but Aragog is actually the pokemon on our team with the most senority. His moveset hasn't changed since we picked him up because it doesn't need to. He's still a certified shitwrecker, and is our first pick whenever we need to really fuck someone's day up.

Just looking at Nessie's move set, you can guess what her job is. Sunny Day supercharges both Phototroph and Synthesis. Combine those with leftovers and she'll sit back and laugh as all the damage done to her is regenerated away. Then she can drop instant charge STAB Solar Beams backed up by nearly as much SpAtk as Cirno.

Then finally we have Kami. Judgement is 100 base power, and gets STAB. So Kami can spam 150 effective power nukes on anything that moves. Anything. Remember, Primal Arceus' ability means that it ignores type calculations to always hit for neutral damage. And it can recover 50% max HP on a whim.

Anyway, that's the team for the remainder of the LP. Now onto the actual meat and potatoes of this update, wandering around semi-aimlessly and doing stupid puzzles to access legendaries with 3/255 catch rates.

The first stop is one request so many of you asked for after the previous update.

I accidentally step into grass and get into a double battle with Suicune and his mongoose friend.

5 snore balls, 22 ancient balls, and a timer ball later... Fuck these roaming assholes.

You know, there was actually a point where I was seriously considering completing the pokedex for this LP. It's theoretically doable, just tedious as fuck. I'm glad I chose not to. It's one thing to catch 151, 251, or in one case 493 pokemon. It's a whole 'nother story to track down and catch 920 of the fuckers.

Every non Gen 7 pokemon is in this game. So naturally every legendary from Articuno all the way on down to Volcanion is too. That's, frankly, far too many to bother with. A better person than I am can do it.

If you are mad enough to set out on the path of completion, then do yourself a favor and hack in hundreds of master balls. You can use the method I described much, much earlier in the LP, and you'll also need this pastebin. Yes, I'm advocating that you cheat to accomplish this goal because otherwise you'd never get it done.

Also the scientist that introduced us to NATHAN is cowering beside the tower.

Oh man, am I ever glad to see you. Listen... you gotta help me. Remember when Delta Cyndaquil created a huge mess in the building? Remember how I panicked? Let's just say there's a reason for that. You see, the Satellite Corps is a front. The entire place is an electrically powered prison cell. It's for a powerful pokemon, and Delta Cyndaquil fried the circuits!

I'm moving out of here, never coming back.

And the trade sequence comes to an end.

This gate can now be opened.

Down five, I wish I was kidding, sets of stairs.

Genesect appears with no fanfare.

I really hate catching legendaries in this game. Half of them can KO themselves either through recoil damage, perish song, or explosive suicide. Genesect won't stop blowing itself the fuck up, so it can rot down here in this basement for all I care.

With Genesect out of the way, let's move on to yet another legendary we'll never catch.

With Reukra having fled the region, the police have decided that's a capital time to raid his base.

You guys are fucking terrible at your job.

The item that's been teasing us since before the third gym turns out to be Delta Volcarona Amror. There's also five journals, so let's take a look at those... Warning, there's a lot of lore and backstory here. So if you don't care about that, just skip over the walls of text.

Metchi Town lab in shambles due to second Volcarona. Evidence suggests a lethal toxin emitted into the air upon evolution. I have begun to move all my equipment to my alternate base beneath Helios City. It's not the same, but it'll do. After the toxin has cleared, I will make a note to return to retrieve what remains.

The potential of this pokemon is astounding, however, I need to find a way to control it. Perhaps a legendary pokemon of some sort? I've instructed Taen to begin a search for the Unovan dragons. As the legendary pokemon that represents perfection, the Original Dragon should almost definitely be able to deal with my little Volcarona problem.

If you remember, a very very long time ago we stumbled across a locked building behind Metchi Town. It was so far back that duranduran was still in our party.

I've been continuing research on restraining disobedient pokemon, and I've come across a patent filed by Anastasia for the creation of protecting and controlling armors. This is fantastic news. Not only would armor help me control Delta Volcarona, I can add it to the list of possible ways a perfect pokemon might be created.

It's definitely worth looking into, for multiple reasons. Taen seems to have had some success with the Unovan dragons task, having found Kyurem and Zekrom already. I will ask him to commission an armor for Zekrom off Anastasia. Perhaps that would be enough to make Zerkrom perfect- but I'd also like to reverse engineer it myself to create an armor for Delta Volcarona. This should keep it docile enough to bend to my will.

Success! The armor was capable in restricting and controlling Delta Volcarona. I've left a prototype here just in case something happens, but everything seems to be going well so far. Interestingly, while doing research into armor, I've found some of the old Team Rocket files. Apparently, they also attempted to use armor to control a disobedient, powerful pokemon-Mewtwo.

Conveniently enough, the files contained a blueprint for the cloning machine they used to make it. If I have time, I'll see if I can make it myself. I'd love to have a Mewtwo under my command.

While doing research into cloning and DNA (for the Mewtwo cloning machine I've been developing), I've found links to a very interesting event that happened in Hoenn a while ago. Something called the Delta Episode: where a battle between Deoxys and Rayquaza caused many small DNA changes throughout the region. Harmony and her father are from Hoenn- this definitely bears investigating.

I'm also interested in the impacts this may have had on Mega Evolution. Rayquaza seems to be the original Mega... and it was Mega Evolution that seems to have triggered the whole event. There seems to be stuff about an ancient king and a meteorite being the origin of Mega Stones. It's a long shot, but perhaps... some stones could be created for some of the Deltas I've been experimenting on?

I've been having trouble with the whole Delta Mega Evolution idea I had a while back. It seems there's more to Mega Evolution than just the stone. A pokemon needs a strong bond of trust and love between itself and its trainer. While there's a low chance of that ever applying to me... perhaps...

My old college friend, Vanessa Sylvan, ended up being a professor. It's her job to give pokemon to kids, who are of course, naturally trusting and loving. I'll give her some of my spare experimental pokemon. Test subjects, disguised as failures.

I have a modified Mega Ring that records data and sends it to my servers. If these pokemon ever find a strong connection, I'll get in contact with the trainers and gift it to them. I hope Sylvan takes them- a better understanding of Mega Evolution could be very useful.

This lets us access the abandoned Perfection Laboratory in order to get our own Delta Larvesta. None of these doors are open until this point in the story. This is the absolute earliest we could be doing this. There's only one more Delta that becomes available later than this, and it's another Delta Legendary.


Is it the Augur's job to direct the police? Because I don't want to have accdientally been ignoring Amy's job.

This new passage brings us to the back rooms of the Perfection Base.

Two boulders, two switches, and locked doors. YEP! It's old fashioned pokemon boulder puzzles.

This takes many attempts, because the game's controls can be floaty if you're trying to do precise stuff. Sometimes, Amy pushes a boulder two spaces and there's nothing you can do about it if it happens.

Two more switches past the first set.

However, there are 3 boulders. The bottom boulder is a red herring, so just ignore it.

Not exactly hard, but the aforementioned floaty controls make it annoying at times.

Four boulders this time, and we need to place 3. And, as you can see, two of them can't be utilized at all.

However, there's a heart swap statue over to the left. This is actually a fairly clever puzzle.

First, I put two boulders in on their switches...

Then I swap the statue over into the room.

On the way back in, notice that there are three wires leading to the pink door and three pink switches. We only need 2 to hold the door open, however. So...

The Manaphy statue can hold one switch down, letting us borrow one of the boulders from before.

And finally as a follow-up, the green gate needs 1 switch held down. So...

Even if it is a boulder pushing puzzle, I really like this one. It's clever and requires some lateral thinking.


We have to do another one of these puzzles, except it's a lot harder. You click on a tile to change the way it's facing. Except when it changes directions, all the tiles touching it spin once too.

The easiest way to do it is just go line-by-line. Set up the top, then the second row, then the third...

It takes a few minutes, but eventually we get there!

Finishing the puzzle summons Mewtwo.

I tried. Lord help me, I tried. But in the end, Mewtwo just wouldn't stay in its ball and after wasting a fuckton of money trying to catch Suicune, I wasn't in a charitable mood for Legendary Bullshit.

So after several resets, I just said "fuck it" and left.

Something we can catch, however, is Delta Larvesta. So let's go investigate that locked laboratory.

This is another cool puzzle area.

Our eventual goal is back through this door. But it's password protected. So we need to work our way around the area getting clues.

This is the first puzzle we have to solve. So let's see if we can't find a hint...

Oh, nice.

We passed this door on the way in.


Project W0001 describes the first attempt at creating a perfect pokemon. The experiment was unsuccessful, however, by accident, we seem to have discovered a new weather condition of sorts. While attempting to recreate Ninetails' Drought under different test conditions, the sky darkened instead of brightened. Further experimentation is needed. Perhaps this effect could be even released and publicized if recreateable.

Project D0002 describes the first attempt at creating a Delta Pokemon. We decided to attempt a Dark/Poison type, using a Larvesta that was previously caught. So far the experiment seems successful, albeit unstable. The potential strength of this new pokemon is unknown.

It's a researcher walking up to that gate we saw earlier and clicking the buttons in the following order: 2-4-3

If we repeat the procedure, the gates drop!

Experimentation on project D0001 began today. Its emotional stability seems to have been strongly affected by the Deltafication process. It refuses treatment and does not cooperate with commands and suggestions.

When provoked, it seems to connect two points in spacetime through folding- effectively creating a wormhole. Incident D0001-A describes, under a period of great distress, warping one of our researchers into the middle of the Alolan ocean. It is also worth noting that its level has been increasing- hopefully, it will evolve soon.

Incident D0001-B describes the evolution incident of Delta Larvesta (D0001). Before this happened, another Delta Larvesta (hereby referred to as D0002) was created as a controlled variable. On the day of its evolution, D0001 released a deadly toxin that infected the lab.

Luckily, most of hte staff wore gas protection equipment and were mostly safe- however, when D0001 began to attack the lab, we were forced to evacuate. 05-1 (Reukra) was able to catch the anomalous pokemon and subdue it temporarily.

Further steps need to be taken to control D0001 before it is used. D0002, the control Larvesta, was left here in the lab. Its survival is unlikely but possible, as it is currently unknown what toxin level it can ingest before internal damage occurs.

Just in case you all though that the Perfection Cult weren't evil as fuck.

Anyway, we need to bring this Manaphy statue over to the middle of the lab.

This drops purple barriers elsewhere in the lab.

This room is below where the statue used to be.

Why put the Bulldoze TM at the very end of the postgame? Earthquake has been available since Victory Road.

Due to the inhospitable environment of the lab, we have evacuated and relocated to a small base underneath Helios City. Our research has shown that the toxicity level of this lab is decreasing over time, and it should be able to be revisited fairly soon- perhaps when we have completed our perfection research.

Currently, D0001 resides on 05-1 (Reukra)'s person, however, a pokeball is not enough to keep it under his control. More experiments will have to be done.


We now have enough information to solve the password. The pattern is numbered passwords and elements, with each set alternating between anti and normal. The element passwords are all lowercase, while the numbered passwords are in CamelCase. The last password was AntiPassThree, so the next should be...

Lithium is the third element.

How'd this get back here?

Anyway, here's Delta Larvesta.

Armored Delta Volcarona

Shiny Armored Delta Volcarona

We've seen it twice before. It's Dark/Poison. Delta Larvesta's abilities are Defiant (Boosts the Pokemon's Attack stat when its stats are lowered) and Absolution (Hidden Boosts the Special Attack stat when the New Moon is active). And Delta Volcarona has Levitate and Absolution (Hidden) for abilities.

This pokemon is the whole reason that Aragog was brought onto the team. It's the whole reason I was adamant that we use Fancy. Oh, and when you give it armor, its stats...

Yeah. It gains 25 base to both of its defensive stats. And if you leave it with its normal ability, it doesn't have a weakness. There's a reason this thing isn't available until now. Check this shit out.

Delta Volcarona is broken as fuck. And, yes, you read that right. It fucking learns Spacial Rend.


Anyway, we're not done yet. This update is going into overtime.

I tried to go see if I could find Ho-Oh, but this is around the point where I realized that the path will only show itself if you have the Legendary Beasts in your party. So we sadly won't be meeting the phoenix pokemon.

Our next stop is the Broadcast Tower. There are two missions available in the postgame, and we're gonna power through them.


The cameraman is a pokemon lover.

Sadly, heart swap puzzles seem to be the order of the day. So here we go again...

This looks suspicious.

That'll let us get back up here in the future.

If we move the heart swap statue down here near the ledge...

Then we can swap up, and then climb up to the other ledge.

I love Zoroark's ability to disguise and conceal. Even things like traps! How primitive and visible, but with Zoroark's ability, hohoho. Latios, you're going to be a TV star! I just can't wait.
Sir, what is this? I thought we were going to simply capture footage of Latios... not trap and imprison it!
Oh hush up, intern. You'll understand when you're older. This legendary pokemon will make us millions. No... billions! Bwahahahahahahah! I do love money.

Sunglasses guy is the Director. South Park head is the cameraman.

Amy, I believe I owe you this. Thank you for delivering us our new star. You're a champ!

I don't want this asshole's money.

Now, let's retreat. We'll leave the Latios here for now, nobody will touch it, I know. We'll come back with scripts and moviemaking supplies. I can just see it now. "Latios and his Merry Friends." What a fantastic show idea. I can't wait.

That's the Director's daughter... what's she doing here?

Setting Latios free, it seems.

We can finish this up real quick, so...

Hey, kid! It's me, the Director! Would you mind coming back to the Broadcast Tower? We need to start filming the next episode right away!

This is mostly a cutscene.

It's time tos tart filming "Latios and Friends", a wonderful sitcom involving our host, Latios. We can watch as he gets involved in all sorts of shenanigans with his other pokemon friends! No time to waste! Let's get filming!

I'm not sure what the Director THINKS is gonna happen, but I'm picturing this.

I guess we're filiming our first episode of "Latios and Friends" today. You can tell I'm not too thrilled about it.
Oh come now, intern! This will be fantastic for your career. And we'll make tons of money. The entire crew's here, so let's go film our first episode!

Man, Latios is looking good.

Where. Is. LATIOS???
This is terrible, sir. Absolutely terrible. I guess you can't enslave legendaries for TV anymore.
I know. What a shame.

The Director's inability to hear sarcasm is great.

I'm sure your kids must be so disappointed.
Kids? I don't have any kids.

That's why we let them come along. And why we let them stay in the station. You know, I've never actually heard those kids talk. I've heard rumors of Latios and Latias disguising themselves as humans to protect pokemon and people...

No wonder all our operations have been sabotaged. Amy, this is your sworn duty. When you joined our club... this is the kind of thing you signed up for. You gotta take them on.

I'm sorry, but you want me to fight the Lati@s twins because of some nebulous duty?

Latias flew away.

You know what?

Fuck this supposed duty.

Sir... can't we just use that? Do we have to continue subjugating legendary pokemon? That tape should make us billions anyway! We can retire happily.
I suppose you're right. Now that we're rich, we don't have to do anything morally dubious anymore. What a great life lesson. It's totally okay to make money doing horrendous things as long as you stop eventually.

Here's your payment. It's the least we can do for you.


We'll call you if you can help us out with anything else... but for now, I think we're pretty well set.

I wonder if Amy can use her position as Augur to lean on the President for a larger cut of his dirty money. Or, I suppose, do the right thing and shut him down and fine him into poverty.

The last thing we're going to do in this update is track down the Forces of Nature.

Two of them are in the Safari Zone.

This is pretty much the far northeastern corner. We could have done this a very long time ago.

Yet more puzzles. I honestly don't know if the Safari Timer is still running or not.

This rift returns us to the present.

This was obviously meant to be done after the first visit to the dragon ruins, because it's a huge puzzle involving all the ways you can use Tesseract.

We gotta push the boulder all the way up into that slot.

Then back in the past, we have to recall the boulder...

And then push it into the pit. Why?

So we can jump across it back in the present.

It starts thunderstorming...

And after all that effort, we find Thundurus. I don't catch him either. Fucking legendary catch rates...

Back in the present, way back where we started, we can now chase down and similarly fail to catch Tornadus!

I say "chase down" because Tornadus thinks it's the height of comedy to repeatedly run away.

This is kind of an obscure location, but we're in the caves beneath Route 15. The Satellite Corps is just outside this area. If we use Hyperspace Hole here...

We get dumped out over on the dried riverbed of Route 6.

We find a couple Rare Candies and Alakazite. Technically this has been available since we returned from the Nightmare Realm the first time.

Tornadus runs away again.

This obscure path over on Mount Rose is where Tornadus has fled to this time.

...huh. Neat.

It flees. Again.

BACK to Route 15 we return. This time Tornadus is just sitting out in the open.

It runs away yet a-fucking-gain.

This is oddly fitting.

This time, Tornadus doesn't run away.

But like I said... we don't catch it and at this point I'm tired of trying. But if you somehow get both Tornadus and Thundurus, if you take them to the northern part of the Rezzai Desert, Landorus will appear similar to Rayquaza and Ho-Oh.

Anyway, that's finally enough for now.

NEXT TIME: The Elite Four rematch!