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5: The wrath of Rath
Silly Fire Emblem, horses don't have feet.
Dorcas is like "yes. My sense of humour. That thing I am so widely known for. That was what I was using here."
After spending five minutes in Jaffar's thrilling company, Priscilla is so over red-haired dudes. Which I guess mean it's now Ninian who has a red-haired love interest after all?
Oh,
hey, I think I may
shit.
And then, bandits attacked!
And nobles. I see you there, Eliwood.
Natalie deserves better.
We shall indeed!
Carjiga is bowlocked and stationary. And thus hilarious. He has an iron bow.
Rath is another corsair, but with 8 move for some reason? ...maybe they spawned as male/female corsairs?? Which isn't a thing originally, but maybe the randomizer added it.
...oh, no. Goddammit, Rath. I know your luck is good, but it is not that good.
The devil axe's backfire rate is 31% minus user's luck, if you don't keep this kind of stuff memorized. So it will always be at least a 1% chance, since every class has a luck cap of 30 - and Rath currently has a 18% chance to smack himself. With 23 attack.
...come to think of it, a randomizer could theoretically make the devil axe kind of good by slapping +5 luck on it... but that is not present in this run.
This guy up here
is even more pathetic than you'd expect from a soldier
and drops something appropriately pathetic and wow. Weapon might can go up or down, but... wow. That is just awful. Unless it has some hilarious side effect. Who knows! It could be a devil weapon, too!
A second soldier at the bottom has this. Nice, if we can get one, and a lancer who doesn't have single digit con aaaaa.
The Lyn lord has... another Mani Katti. The game is mocking me! Since the Mani Katti requires 0 sword rank to wield, any Lyn lord can potentially spawn with and use this.
Just one more point of mov, Ninian...!
I'll turtle instead and let him run in.
Fortunately, the non-Lyn enemies are only too happy to block up the exit and prevent my people from getting Many Critti.
Emblem bows 
We do pretty well, though. This would really suck if we had no one who can take a hit!
Next turn, we pick up this dork-ass.
Who proceeds to miss an 82. Come on, that's like 90% with true hit! And 90% is basically guaranteed! Everybody knows that!
...why do I feel like I've made this joke before... Huh, I've done like 4 lps of Fire Emblem games, that might have something to do with it. Oh well, I wrote it so it stays in, on with the show!
We're looking pretty good so far, although I do have to heal. We'll definitely outlast them, barring any sudden stupidity.
Really wish I had a better way to deal with you, though...
Dorcas!
Decent!
Oh hey, the slim lance is a brave wea-
...
I fucking knew it.
Instead, I went back and made a few different moves.
Rath didn't behead himself this time.
He's still good!
And you're an archer, I don't think you're in any position to be smug.
No crits!
A good level! Too bad your attack speed's still 0!
Ninian can't double nomads.
I gave her the mage instead. Nice, nice.
The rest's just mopping up. Jaffar did better this time.
I could clown this guy so hard, but I'm going to take out most of the generics first.
And now we're done!
The reason we're so tough is frankly entirely up to rng. More so than usual.
And Ninian finished. She doubled this guy, at least!
In the end, I missed one archer.
You're not supposed to know that!
I know! Amazing, isn't it?
Suspiciously Jaffar line to be coming from Kent...
And we'll have another chapter, too! Next up on Ninian's Bizarre Randomizer...
Lucius shoots a man.