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6: A frail Lycian priestess



We've left the mildewy old fort behind and are headed for uh whatever it is we're heading for, I'm not really paying that much attention to be honest.



We just have to stop by and sass these bandits before we move on.



Oh.



Holy shit it's Florina.



You are so very correct on every possible level. Oh, this is beautiful.

Almost as beautiful as Lucius.



I haven't seen her stats yet, jury's still out.







Oh my godddd






Ahahahahahahaha.



L... Lucius... What are those numbers...?! I am very uncomfortable right now!



I could just paste in every single line of dialogue from this chapter.




But I'll restrain myself. Somewhat.



So Florina, then! Is the tiniest fucking soldier you've ever seen. Holy shit is that bad.



She comes with an infinite use 10 mt lance, which would be nice! You know, if she didn't drop double digits of speed by equipping it... An iron lance weighs 4. That's minus two speed. Out of three.



Lucius, sadly, is an archer. Not a very good one, either. His growths, assuming they're somewhat similar to what they were before (randomizer, remember!) would actually be quite suited to the class, it's just... magic is so much better.



He comes with the worst excuse for a longbow I have ever seen. Oh, that hurts to see. It hurts in the soul.



Bug, the boss, is a pirate



with a steel axe he's not going to get to use because we have range.



I could get my hands on one, too! Except this guy will switch to it because it does more damage, so I get the iron instead.



Anyway, let's start!



You. Sit down.



Florina looks... decent? as a soldier. Her purple looks a little weird, but the blue's nice.



Goddamn! That bow is so bad. So. Bad!



Time to butcher these fools.



Sad!



Rad!



Egad!



Things I Have Learned:

* Steel axe fighters double Florina.
* Steel axe fighters poison Florina.

why



A few seconds of turbo button and repositioning later:



Ass™



You're in the way.



Dorcas got speed.

It was worth it after all.



Here's the shop! We can get a hand axe for anyone who needs it. One additional benefit of the infinite uses (as if they needed it) is that it makes things really, really cheap! Usually the price of a weapon is based on a cost-per-charge basis. A vanilla hand axe costs 15 Emblembux per use, and comes with 20; thus, you'll pay 300 for one. This one doesn't technically have uses, so the game just counts it as a single one. It's good! It is very, very good.



We have another stationary boss to abuse, so



abuse him we shall! Even though I'm warming up to him now that I see his rad purple palette.



Oo, burn.



He is already dead, see, he has a halo and everything, that's how it works right



Oh and here's Lucius with his proper palette. I can't overstate how much it amuses me that he still gets confused for a girl



We got a level for Priscilla. I realized what the difference between her and Rath is - she's a pirate, he's a corsair. They're separate classes! That explains it.



And while I explained that, Bug expired.



Florina: Plotting.



man I wish

I'm going to have to do this entire mode without a healer, aren't I?






I love it. I really, really love it. And I'm going to have to use both of these idiots.



Next on Ninian's Bizarre Adventure:



It is time to rock.