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What happened to the village? It's completely wrecked!
Hold on, I'll go take a look.
Oh. Oh god. Alright. Based on the facts that the map has been shifted slightly to the left, the houses are wrecked except for the entrances, and the fact that the semi-final boss is now the first chapter boss, I can only conclude that we...
...are in a Kaizo hack.
Oh GOD NO
NOT COOL! NOT COOL!
They made a Kaizo hack of the most frustrating game in the genre already?!
I don't get what you're all worried about. Check out my cool new portrait!
These hacks always look nice and relaxing on the surface, but then...then you find out you're not immortal anymore.
Well, I look fine.
I'm telling you, something's NOT right here! I can feel it in my gut!
He's right, any ROM hack would have forced us to play the first chapter with Devil weapons. This can only mean something crazy is up the hacker's sleeve!
The level cap's gone up, which means we can look forward to every enemy being level 40 or something.
I appear to have Canto, Miracle, and...what's this one?
It appears to be the Brave effect, but as a skill.
Then what the heck is the point of my Brave Lance now?!
Okay, then, let's see what the rest of the map looks like.
Well, that armor knight is a bit out of place, but other than that, it looks like nothing to worry about.
That's what they want you to think!
Oh, go get your precious Pugi already. Can we start the game now?
GAAAAH LEIF! LEIF!
Sigh...what is it?
That Archer has a Longbow!
What's so bad about that? You dodged it.
It's the principle of the matter!
What does that even mean?
It's NOT FAIR! I'm supposed to kill him on Enemy Phase with my endless flood of Javelins. This is making me feel so uncomfortable!
Then kill him on Player Phase! In fact, capture him so we can use it!
See?! You can even capture someone with no battle if they don't have a 1 or 2 range weapon.
Grrr...how could they nerf the Wrath skill? There was nothing wrong with it activating any time I got attacked. Now I have to be at half health!
Oh come on. It's one soldier all the same.
Like you can do any better!
Well, if you don't want me helping, I'll make Marty do it.
Ha! How could Marty possibly help? Can't even double with speed as low as...
I'm here too!
It actually kind of feels good to be needed for once.
Let me guess, you think the boss is going to be unkillable by anyone else.
Well, as far as I know, I'm still immortal. Pays to be a dragon's descendant.
Oh shit I'm not supposed to know that yet. Uh. Quick, what's in the house?
Uh, I can't understand what you're saying, but I'll assume you don't need that vulnerary there.
Even though you appear to have a broken leg from when the building caved in. Oh well, you're old anyways.
What was that? Oh never mind, gimmie the Pugi so I can prove why I'm still the best axe-user in this game.
Sorry, I sneezed. What I meant to say was, "Anyone can use the Pugi now, it's not locked to you."
No no no that is NOT what you said. I heard you. Besides. Anyone but me using Pugi? Ha.
FE5 characters live and die by the skill and the personal weapon. There's no way--
NO STOP PUT THAT BACK NO
Curse you, ROM hacker!...I bet Fin had the same thing happen to the Brave Lance, maybe he'll sympathize with me.
You know, the Brave Lance ought to be available to anyone, seeing as I double everything now anyways.
I'd say the same about my Light Brand but that might be overpowered.
YOU! Guess what? Money is really important!
I mean...not really. We just steal all our weapons from enemies in Thracia 776.
And that's why Thracia 776 is the worst game in the series!
Can I have your Iron Sword now?
And here we see the effects of the revised weapon triangle. I might actually whiff!
Okay how did I just whiff that one?
Some pirate in Verdane gave me this Devil Axe. Here you go!
Devil Axe?! Fuck! I knew something bad was going to happen. I can't even get the Brave Axe!
Oh I'm just messing with you, it really is a Brave Axe this time. Here you go! Don't ask how I got to Verdane and back so fast.
Okay so is that all of them? Oh...actually that armor knight is still there. He hasn't moved an inch. Weird. Wonder what's up with him.
Who the heck is that guy?
PffffffffffftahahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAH! It's ARDEN! Hey, hey prince, check this out, I saw this guy one time and never again, wanna know why?
'Cause he's the slowest hunk of metal in history - he never caught up to us! Aw man, Arden, it's been too long, buddy. How'd you even survive Valhalla? Oh that's right - you never made it there to begin with!
Fin, I don't think mocking him is a--
Look, look! He has Charisma. CHARISMA! He'd never even get close to his allies to give them the boost! Leif, Leif, let me sock it to him for old time's sake!
I don't think that's a good idea.
What? Come on! What's he got that makes you so scared?
Ahahaha Ambush. Look.
With only one move, it's even EASIER to whack him and then Canto out of range. You're such a wimp, Leif. I, Fin, am the undisputed true main character of the Yggdrasil games! I'm in every stinking chapter, and I have blue hair! Why, there's even a ROM hack that makes me the main character. Don't worry, I got this!
Wait, Fin, no--
Ow...okay...point taken, that did hurt. But still! Only one move! We can pull back to Eyvel and wait for her to--
Eheh. Uh...Arden? Whatcha doin'?
Told you so.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
Fucking told you so.
OH MY GOOOOOOD
Okay would you shut the fuck up and figure out a way to kill him now?!
Never fear, Dagda will smash puny armor with giant fucking hammer!
I'm pretty sure your accuracy here is 18% so I really don't--
Wow. I'm actually thankful the game only rolls one random number for accuracy checks instead of rolling two and averaging.
THE ARMOR IS FUCKING DOUBLING WE'RE DOOOOOMED
There, problem solved. He's dead.
I forgot criticals doubled your attack instead of tripling damage dealt. Thanks, Eyvel. Maybe we do need you after all.
Oh, for sure. Seen the boss?
I think super-charged Arden was tougher, honestly. Luckily, Pavise's chance to activate is now BLD%.
HELP ME MOMMY
Stop yelling and hit him with a Javelin!
I CAN'T DO IIIIIIT!
Oh great. How are we gonna tell which ring is which? I know this is the Life Ring because it gives 7 HP, but...
I think the game is trying to tell us something.
It's about time you caught up!
Just shut up, okay?
Lucky I still have that Fire Sword.
Th-that's a SICK animation. Is that Volcanon?! Wow.
I'LL GET YOU IN THE NEXT HACK, EYVEEEEEEL!
I've got a bad feeling about the rest of this hack.