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Okay, now that I'm in a Kaizo hack mood, I know to be prepared for what's to come.
Everyone start searching for the invisible coin blocks!
Wrong game.
A frigging Wyvern?! So that's what this chapter will be about, huh?
We have three archers on our team. It's not that bad.
Three? I only see Tanya and Dagda.
Um...uh...hey look, more Wyverns!
Oh, fabulous! And the boss is a Bishop? These pirates have a come-to-Jesus moment or something?
Pirates can walk on water, so...yeah, pretty much.
It is stunning how appropriate that is.
Just make sure the Wyvern can't hit anyone but me.
Can I have a vulnerary? That last hit in the previous chapter still hurts like hell.
Oh get over it.
See? They aren't actually that hard, if even Marty can handle them.
May I axe you a question?
Stealing puns is un-axe-ceptable.
Axe-ually, it's perfectly fine.
Okay, fine, if Tanya of all people is usable here, maybe this isn't so hard after all.
This is actually pretty tame for the precedent the previous chapter set.
Precedent? We could have avoided that armor knight completely if someone hadn't whacked him.
Uh-oh, time for the flood of weakling reinforcements!
Flood...hey wait a sec, wouldn't Noah technically be the world's first pirate?
Dude! That makes SO much sense!
Wait, where's Ronan? Do I know you?
My name's Janne.
Oh yeah! You're Nanna's substitute...wait, how can you and Nanna exist in the same universe? You're creating a time paradox!
The substitute characters exist regardless of whether or not the player recruited them. Besides, I'm probably the tamest time paradox you're going to get in this hack.
I guess that's true. And a Troubadour beats a lousy Archer in every respect.
...did you say Troubadour?
Oh. Uh. I...guess this isn't too bad...but why a Bow Knight?
Dunno. Clarine became a Pegasus Knight in Fire Emblem Girls, so I tend to not question these things.
At any rate, sure is nice of the hacker to make use of a portrait cut from the final game.
No idea why this pirate has a heal staff. Think you can pull him in, Janne?
I said PULL HIM IN, not KILL HIM!
Quiet, it's just a Mend.
Hey, great job pissing off the pirates, you guys!
I have no idea what background event not shown in the actual game you are referring to.
Fine. Take my ring.
Pretty sure this is a Speed Ring.
Seriously, Fin?
I've clearly been nerfed!
Do me a favor and capture the boss.
Ugh. What's this guy made of? Let me check his stats.
...Why is August with the pirates?
Hey didn't he teach Lifis how to torture people so he could learn your location from an innocent villager?
Yeah, and then Lifis sold the info to the Thracians so they could come torch Fiana Village.
You know, I never thought about it that hard until now. Now I actually want to kill him...but ugh, why did Physic have to get a buff that big?
Uh...what's going on?
...MY RING IS GONE!
What?
WHAT!? Pirates can STEAL now?!
It's fine, it just means we have to capture them to get the stuff back. We can even lure them in this way since they always spend the turn stealing if they can.
I guess that's fine, but it's still seriously annoying. What if they had too high a Build stat for us to capture them?
Don't give them ideas!
I can capture this guy. Just be sure to rescue me back if I whiff.
But you're still immortal.
Yes, but if he attacks me, my convulsions will not let me stop myself from counterattacking and murdering him.
Oh brother. They're still coming.
I suppose it's also annoying that ocean tiles only cost 1 move to them in this hack. They're faster as a result.
Marty, why are you using the Brave Axe? Your skill gives every weapon that effect anyways.
Oh yeah, good point.
...Still feels awesome, though.
Got him. Let's wrap this up.
You know, August, now that we know you're a pretty good fighter, maybe you'd like to join the party?
That'd make the game too easy. You can't be a good prince if life is too easy.
Which is why you're being sent on a Fog of War mission next.
Shit. I forgot about this. Okay, ROM hacker, what could you have possibly done with Fog of War to make it worse?
...Can't see the difference so far.
That's kind of the point.
See anything up here?
Nope. Complete dead end.
Ah, so THAT'S how this is going to go down.
Puny Berserker thinks he can sneak up on Dagda? He is very adorable.
We better snag that Torch.
It is done!
I've underestimated you for a long time, Dagda. It's good to have you on the team. I hope nothing bad happens to you in the long run.
Ugh! Why did they have to be able to steal?!
Wait, take a closer look.
Oh that's just rich.
Taken care of.
And God said, "Let there be light!"
Okay, I think that's enough of the Bible theme--
I-I mean, praise be to our Lord, he will help us through this!
Hey, with how many rings the enemies have, you could easily be the Lord of the Rings! Get it?
Pretty sure that's Lord Ring of Jungby.
Touché. Oh...hey, check out who's on that bridge.
What's he doing all the way over there? Oh well, Fin can capture him easy.
He's got a Rapier!
What happened to your Brave Lance?
Oh no...oh no NO. The ROM hacker put a stupid mountain tile there, now we're forced to go all the way around!
On the BRIGHT side, there are more Torches in the forts!
...seriously? You went with that for a pun?
It's not all bad. Marty and I can pass it. You could even ride me across if you like.
I thought only Marty was allowed to touch you.
I meant I would CARRY you!
Eyvel please tell me you can get across.
Nope, can't do it.
Damn.
Easy capture when Fin gets here, so pretend that's what happened.
I found another one! I'm really on FIRE with finding these. Don't you think so, Leif?
Shut. Up.
Several turns later...
The rest of it looks pretty normal.
It always does.
I actually gained a level! I hope nothing bad happens and causes me to lose it!
Gee, I wonder if something bad's going to happen and cause him to lose it.
Oh...how'd Shiva get there?
So wait, if he's sitting on the castle, does that mean capturing him, which was originally optional and rewarded the player with a Killing Edge, is now mandatory?
I think he starts moving if you wait long enough, but I'm certainly not going to.
I capture him every game anyways.
I believe you mean I capture him.
Right. So. Magic swords, arrows, there are plenty of ways to chip him down to low health.
Hopefully the rest of the ROM hack stays right where it is. Slightly more annoying but fairly normal.
Come on, that'd be completely uninteresting to the audience.
I know. I'm trying to keep morale up.