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15: Different Beginnings
Let's take a little break before the next map.
We've seen how Guy's story goes, but...
If we had started Eliwood mode, we might have seen something like this instead. That's a sniper, huh...?
And that is Isadora, randomized as Isadora. Goddammit Yune!
I fully, truly, 100% believe Bartre is the kind of guy who'd refer to people as "my man".
You're really the right person to be saying that...
You have never held a bow in your life. I don't think you could even lift one, much less draw it!
and ooooh boy.
Groznyi is a pushover, but
as if Nino being a level 1 cavalier wasn't bad enough, this guy has effective damage on her.
And this kind of reach.
(Though fortunately the pegs only have 6 move.)
And our party...
...are very,
incredibly awful at this.
Matthew comes with a hammer instead of his poison axe, and is of course weighed down way into the negatives, and Nino got a slim lance instead of the Emblem one, giving her speed but no power.
Bartre got a different lance with the exact same effect.
But he does also have a steel sword here, and as best I can tell, the strategy for this chapter is making him more or less break that.
He happily solos everything you can throw him at, the only problem is him having less move than the unpromoted wyverns.
And then, reinforcements!
Look at this shit.
He starts with another steel lance.
The big prize is Rath's energy ring and I am so mad he doesn't keep it in Hector Mode.
As for the village,
it's the worst stat booster, so it evens out a little.
Here's a couple of shots of units I will never use again!
But yeah, Eliwood map 1 actually kinda troublesome. But with the obvious solution being "Bartre everything", we now return to your regularly scheduled arblegarble.
Isn't that cute.
No time to celebrate, though...
"come to think of it so does this knife in my chest why did I think this was a good idea"
Guy is so good!!
Tell you who's not that great, though
it's Nils
Also I think Heath is misgendering the chaos bird, which is very rude!
The Thunder tome is the real boss. 21 magic attack and the potential to double a good number of our people is nothing to fuck with.
Standing in for Guy,
Nils is not... terribly good. He shares his sister's noodly-armed BadCon Tendency,
and has 3 effective speed. That 40 crit is still pretty scary, though - especially for Nino, because that is still a ponykiller.
Still, I want our girl to get some levels, as I think she's by far the character with the most potential out of these losers.
Meanwhile, I'll be grabbing the village quickly, as I don't remember which of these enemies are originally brigands. If one of them randos into a flier, that's potentially the village gone on turn 1.
...oh yeah, he only has the silver lance now...
Well, we can do something about that.
And so!
Heath can't stop rocking.
I usually go the lower route but I'm feeling the top this time.
You fool!! What are you doing!! There were perfectly good unpromoted units for you to suicide into!
Nino's doing well, don't let the axe through the entire arm fool you. That's with triangle disadvantage!
And that's a Good Stat.
I was hoping to get some exp on my weaker units but...
I'll settle for getting it on Nino. 
This is about as far as she can get, though - that Hector has 8 mov and a handaxe, and she can't really tangle with Nils as he stands a good chance of oneshotting her.
Well then.
!
...oh 
Thanks, Merlinus, see if I come save you when you need it...!
Grabbing Nino and the bards...
Broke the snag, but pirates don't need snags!
Matthew is so bad.
I let him borrow Guy's devil axe and ahahaha no.
Meanwhile, some flying and dancing shenanigry and
goddamn. Yeah, that's "ka-boom", all right, but it's not the good kind!
Drawing in the archers, skewering the archers.
Oh yeah! That's what I'm all about.
And we can stab the other one too!
Can't kill, but he's just got an emblem bow so he's harmless.
As you can see.
...wellll shit I wasn't counting on all these assholes aggroing. I don't think I've ever actually gone that way before!
But luckily, Heath was just in range to grab Nils.
You tell me, I have like three axe units who can't even lift an axe!
Then I danced Bartre closer
and rescued Heath out of the way.
Nino is too strong!
Nils is the opposite of that but
he looks pretty neat.
Cutting it a little close here...
It's worth it, though!
...I am so not used to all these movement ranges. Granted, that 28 is like ~15 or so with true hit but I don't like those damage and hp values...
Face!
As much as I'd like to feed the entire group to Nino, though, she can't solo them so...
...I cleaned up a bit with the promoted units.
Hmmm.
No, let's see if we can make this work. Florina has A lances, by the way! That's a thing now.
Crunch!
And I was hoping Nils would be able to get it but
this was probably a better outcome anyway.
Nils didn't go entirely without action, though!
He even got a kill, for all the good that does us.
I have no money, but the devil axe and 1-use purge are worth a little bit.
Rock!
I still couldn't afford another sword for Nils. He's not doing anything useful with this one!
In the end,
...this is promoted unit fodder.
Cronch!
All parameters green. Florinatron standing by.
And then we seized and
thought very hard about this.
Well okay that's a lie but you bet your ass I kept a savestate on hand in case it turned out to be a-
goddammit.
Next up on Ninian's Bizarre Randomizer: That.