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Welcome back to Myrmidon Eirika and Glass-Bones Seth's Excellent Adventure.
Pffft, the boss got randomized into a healer, how bad can this possibly be?
I mean, all you'd really need to help her is a Dracoshield...
Oh. That's how bad it can be. Because Breguet doesn't have a weapon and therefore can't attack, the game hangs here, forcing me to reset and then mash Start to get through the cutscenes.
One reset later...
One thing I forgot to mention last time is that pressing Select while looking at the map brings up a danger indicator, much like the one in, uh, every game right after Sacred Stones. I seem to recall Fire Emblem: Girls doing this, also, and other hacks that CirclesEverywhere has made also have this feature.
You may have noticed the enemy Dancer.
Utterly pathetic stats aside, Dancers have been given the ability to use Anima tomes, so as not to be dead weight if you happen to start with, say, one and a healer. Also, all human enemies, in addition to our own units, have skills. Dance is self-explanatory, and Dancers also get Wary Fighter, which prevents them from double attacking and from being attacked twice. If this seems out of place for what Dancers do, uh, they don't have a "return to initial pose" animation, so if they try to double it crashes the game.
The Myrmidon has Duelist's Blow, just like Eirika...
...whereas the Knights have Provoke, which makes the AI more likely to attack it. As you can imagine, this is utterly useless on enemies.
Eirika visits the house in order to bait the Bonewalker over to her, and-
This is why you check enemy inventories BEFORE you move, especially in randomizers.
Ah, it seems Franz ended up as an Ephraim clone. Probably the best outcome over an Archer or a Wyvern Rider, really. Gilliam ended up as a Troubadour, which is kind of funny given that Breguet is one also.
He's got some nice bases, other than his defensive stats. What about the growths?
...Oh. 
Let's just look at his skills instead, shall we? Franz has Wrath, which boosts his crit rate by 20% if he's at 50% health or lower, Shove, and Bonds, which heals every ally within 3 squares of him for 10% of their max HP at the start of each turn.
And his inventory. The Toxin Lance manages to be even more pathetic than it is in the vanilla game. The Javelin, on the other hand, is actually really good, with 3 more points of strength for half the weight, for a barely noticeable accuracy loss.
...14 HP... 0 Defense... on a healer... 
Uh, at least he'll probably end up with more defense than Eirika? Hopefully? That Magic growth is really nice, too.
As for skills, he has Nihil, which completely cancels out an opponent's skills in combat, and Canto, the skill that states that mounted units can move again after certain actions. As nice as Nihil is, it probably won't do us much good right now, not that I'd want him anywhere near active combat. The only item he has is Heal, and staffs are (thankfully) untouched by the randomizer.
Now, let's get back to that Bonewalker...
Dammit, he could have dropped the Killer Lance, too. Oh well, Franz will still appreciate the steel one, even if it weighs him down to 4 effective speed.
This is excessive, but I'd rather not have this joker run Eirika through while she's sitting at 3 HP.
Franz, you're killing me.
And so is your color scheme.
On the next turn, Gilliam heals Eirika and - oh god, he looks even worse than Breguet!
Gilliam is unimpressed by this dance.
But I'm impressed by this level. More Strength is always nice, especially on a 20% chance.
Franz manages to one-shot the Myrmidon with his javelin, and Gilliam finishes healing Eirika.
Then this guy attacks Franz on the enemy phase and gets two javelins to the heart for his trouble.
And then Franz takes his lunch money or something.
Oh, right, reinforcements.
I'm pretty sure this is the lowest stat total I've ever seen on an enemy in any Fire Emblem game. This is just sad.
"Franz, what happened to your wyvern?"
"What wyvern?"
Then everyone pulls back a bit to let the reinforcements come. Not like Breguet's going anywhere.
"I am, too, Sir Seth! Say, what happened to that big axe you were carrying?"
"What axe?"
Guess who managed to somehow forget about Seth being made of paper? It's a good thing these guys have such terrible hit rates.
What a way to go. I guess I shouldn't have been worried about Seth's accuracy, he's still getting hit rates like this on the enemy's turn without Certain Blow.
I then remembered to check the Killing Edge's stats. As scary as that crit rate is, the low accuracy balances it out.
And good thing, too - this encounter would be a lot scarier if Franz didn't one-shot this guy.
Thanks.
I'm sure this will all go towards a nice iron sword eventually.
What.
I decide to heal Franz for the 1 HP he lost on leveling up, and the Bonewalker went after Gilliam instead. A tactical genius I am not.
That's more like it!
Breguet is about as much of a joke as you'd expect a healer boss to be but I thought him having Rightful King (increases the chance to proc percentage-based skills by 10%) was pretty funny.
Eirika ends up getting the kill, and-
...wow. I'm speechless. Let's just... move on, shall we?
"And what are you doing in that outfit? Red is so not your color."
Then we go back to Castle Frelia and Hayden gives us our allowance. Before we wrap up, we can get a sneak peek at our next new recruits.
Oh hey, a monster character! Boy, I sure am getting a lot of units with high speed and low defenses, huh?
And these growths aren't really anything impressive, either. I'm not entirely sure how his skill, Barricade+, works - according to its description, makes damage taken in combat equal to "half the damage when struck last". I'm assuming this means that it remembers the amount of damage he took in a previous fight, and then halves it? 
I hadn't really run into it before this run, and there's no equivalent skill in any other FE game.
Evil Eye is also really good, at half the weight and even more damage.
Vanessa has managed to randomize into the opposite of a Pegasus Knight. She seems to also continue the trend of "speedy units with worrying defenses"...
...as seen by her growths. But what's that new skill she has?
ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
NEXT TIME:
Ross dances for his life.