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25: Highs And Lowens
So we've finally reached our goal! The final battle is at hand!
well okay so hopefully no one believed that, but shit is about to go down. And oh boy, does this chapter have Things in store for us. A wide variety of Things.
GOONS, AM I RIGHT 
That would have been nice. Alas, we'll have to make do with Darin.
Fifi is a wyvern, and Rebecca is suddenly not a pirate, but instead... an armour knight.
I don't think that's an improvement 
Why am I the only one who doesn't get warp magic...?
Fifi is not impressed with Darin's new shades. They don't really go with his nose. And Rebecca just looks into the camera like "can you believe the bullshit I have to put up with?"
Her default expression is not a great fit for this scene.
Also can we talk about how goddamn badass Elbert is for a moment? He's been causing trouble for Nergal through the entire game.
Guess whatever it is he's got skipped a generation in this case, huh?
"Are you done? Sorry, this kind of got old the third time I heard it."
Sadly, Matthew is forced on this map. I would gladly permabench him if I could get away with it. At least he's not still level 1! ...his stats just look like he's still level 1.
First things first, however. Nino's promotion gains aren't terribly good, but that +2 con means she's now at full speed with an iron lance. She'll never be big enough for axes, unfortunately.
And, unlike our previous promotions, she gains a point of move in her second class! Look at this. Isn't it beautiful?
All right, let's rock! And who should spawn on the first turn but...
Lowen the yet-another-pirate!
Lowen's stats aren't like... bad or anything, but I'm not wowed. He still drops three points of speed from a handaxe (and six points with the swordreaver). He is tankier than Hector, but also is a 6-move pirate, so I'm thinking he gets the bench. After recruitment, obviously!
Darin is a sage.
Aside from the Rescue staff he won't use and won't drop and which only exists to taunt me ( 
), he's nothing special - I can't believe he only spawned with a basic-ass fire tome! Something must have gone wrong here.
Cameron the bishop is probably a bigger problem because he has speed and moves. Also, we can see that bishops get 6 move, which may be worth knowing if we're ever in a position to promote one of our own...
His Lightning is set to drop, but it'll get shuffled to the top of the list when he attacks so he'll actually drop the Recover, which is probably better for us - it's not buyable, whereas Lightning is.
The Eliwood lord next to him drops an armourslayer - if I'm not misremembering, it will be our first 1-2 range sword. Only 20 uses, but still nice!
This is too heavy for Nino, but Bartre might enjoy it. There's also a whole bunch of stealable keys and an antitoxin for some reason, but I don't think we'll be in any position to nab those. Besides, I already have a whole bunch of keys!
Let's start with this room.
And Nino onerounds.
And then we bard
and pick up a nice little gift for our favourite sage!
Two bards. Very good! Have I told you how Very Good it is to have two bards? Because it is Very Good.
But wait! We haven't got to the really good part of this yet.
Bolting is down 1 mt from vanilla. In exchange, it has dropped five points of weight (allowing Dorcas to use it without any penalty whatsoever), up 11 points of hit...
...and it is fucking unbreakable!
Yeah I don't know what to tell you, this is ridiculously busted on top of Dorcas' speed and con being good enough to double a good number of enemies and the fact that with the aforementioned bards, he can do this three times per turn, forever.
I... I'm going to have to go take a cold shower or something, excuse me for a moment.
okay so I was going to have Sain open this door but the guy inside has a steel sword
so I stabbed the shaman instead.
Good man!
We will need to move fast because there's going to be a thief, as well as Lowen, trying to escape the map later on and I don't want to lose them and/or their stuff.
This looked like a good idea
until I got this for it.
Enemies start breaking down the walls.
Hector drew this iron blade Lyn lord.
Nice!
And I drew the Enemywood with Florina who'd survive a crit. Or several, even.
And then
guy got doubled and died
the end.
Second attempt! Everything up until attacking this guy was, I believe, exactly the same.
This is nice, too. I'm actually more worried about his def than speed... is a thing you definitely expect to hear said about Hector.
Still don't like this guy.
Sain got the Lyn lord this time.
And Guy is a little bit further back this time so he can avoid the archer's attack, which lets him survive the armourslayer.
Here he is!
There's actually not one, but two secret shops on this map. It's a good chance to at least get a look at some weapons we might not have seen yet - although I imagine they're all going to look a little disappointing compared to... yeah.
Sain got the Enemywood.
Serra missed. That would have oneshot if she connected, mind!
IT IS TIME
I am become Dorcas, destroyer of worlds!
And now!
SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!
Meanwhile, in much less exciting news, Matthew got a kill.
Huh, I had expected you to go for Hector.
The thief only has a key so he can't take more than this. I still want it, of course! Just not as much as the card, if I have to choose.
I took a chance with Guy, and he hit his 63. Nice! We also pick up the recover.
Poison bows are shit! Have we been over this already? SHIT.
Hector, meanwhile, is kind of insane.
Serra got the shaman. Eeehhhh...
Wall!
We got Ninian up to this door
and barded her on
so she could open this one as well! Now we shouldn't have a problem nabbing everything we want.
...know what, Lowen? You can keep that.
Some very foolish people decided to get in Ninian's way.
Very, very foolish people.
Hector killed that one.
And Serra murdered this unarmed guy who just wandered onto the battlefield to see what all the noise was about.
Almost to level 20 now.
There we go!
Guy killed the cav in the treasure room on the left. He drops a chest key.
The short spear is effective against horses, but you have to hit them first!
B O O T S
Well I guess I can just go ahead and promote Lucius then!
...I know, I know, 9 move Nino or 8 move Bartre would be so much more optimal, but this is my boy Lucius you're talking about.
Some reinforcements start showing up, but they're much less of a concern than preventing people from escaping.
This guy packed 120 arrows. Guy, I don't think you're going to live long enough to use those...
Florina is here in case something like this guy happened. He only has a horseslayer (2 mt) so I might just Matthew him.
Necessary? No. Hilarious? Yes!
I left Ninian in range because I'm not afraid of Darin and no one else is in range to finish her off.
...and here I almost had a heart attack but Nino lives on 2 hp and kills him.
Some more randos show up.
We can deal with randos!
Lowen has to pass by the throne, which is why I had Ninian sitting there waiting for him.
And now he's blue!
Infinite swordslayers are a lot of fun.
Guy looted the other chest. It's not as good as the first, but it really doesn't have to be.
Sigh. Should have replaced this before the map...
The Lyn lords could kill Hector, but it's not very likely.
Go Hector! Next, he'll deal with the archers.
That's the last cavalier. He had an axereaver, which is why Sain is purple.
Finally, we get pegasi.
Really, really shitty pegasi! I'm actually going to let Matthew solo them, so maybe he can get a little less awf
the halberd is a fucking devil weapon-
nope nope no way in hell I'm replaying the entire fucking map for a unit as bad as you, you can just... uh... fuck, you're a game over condition aren't you
...
I try not to cheat, but I do still savestate a lot in case I miss a screenshot. Thus: That never happened.
Tell you what did, though! A pretty decent level!
And Lucius maxed out without much fanfare.
I let them have an encounter, but Guy is not the guy for this.
Heeh.
Spoiler: no.
Nice!
...expected.
We still need to visit the secret shops, but I forgot about them until I saw the card and didn't sell off a bunch of stuff I should have so we have to cart it all back up to Ninian (who has the card, and 8 move to run between the shops). I actually forgot about them again and finished the map, then went "fuck" and had to reload that savestate again to go visit them 
With the reinforcements seemingly depleted, I gave Darin a last poke.
It certainly is!
You deserved everything you got, and more for cursing Nino with such a shitty level!
Anyway.
The silver blade is 100% a devil weapon you cannot convince me otherwise it is far too good not to be one.
Steel blade's just bad as far as I can tell.
Iron blade is decent for the 1-2 range alone.
I think I missed the 1-2 range when I was playing, but the killing edge still isn't too impressive.
Killer lance is quite good! We have one, but I'm picking up another.
Axes are good too, and also cheap!
This isn't the greatest thing in the world, but they're unbreakable and light, which is still nice.
I ended up having just not enough to buy a physic staff after selling the red gem, goddess icon, secret book, and a devil axe, so I tossed out a pure water too. I'm broke again, but we have some new toys to try out next time.
And then, we seize.
Another un-randomized name fragment.
"I saw him deal 15 points of damage with my own eyes!"
Fifi getting disintegrated is pretty satisfying to watch.
He does actually die 
(But not before proving he's about 43 times more badass than his son.)
That's a bit of a downer note to end on, and the game isn't done shitting on Matthew yet! Oh no, not by a longshot.
Next on Ninian's Bizarre Randomizer...
Come on, you knew this was coming.