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32: Headpats
And we're going to seize it! I will be doing so while listening to the Legend of Mana soundtrack because something about that description reminds me of it. (Although I'd say there are tracks that fit what we're about to do better.)
Sounds like something a thief would say...
Because they randomized into good stats.
Oh hell no, Bartre's coming right along!
Lyn is depressing.
Kenneth is slimy.
But... like, semi-comp... no, like... fractionally competent.
"Matthew means we're going to put holes in you if you don't get out of the way."
"thanks guy"
Yeah no, we're conquering it.
But not before Merlinus somehow finds a wagon in the snow!
He gets no stats, but does gain mobility which is very nice since reinforcements like to spawn behind you sometimes.
Not a ton of dudes in here, but there's going to be more.
Kenneth is rather squishy, but hits hard and
does it at range without being weighed down.
The assassins are pathetic.
This is very good, though!
Seriously there's nothing here.
18 res might be worth something, but you have 2 def. Two.
I've just started boltinging people willy nilly. There would be no challenge or interesting strategy to be had fighting them normally; they're just too weak to matter. I feel like I should definitely have done hard mode...
eh
The fact that the snowstorm slows you down doesn't help my mood. Look at this shit!! It is incredibly obnoxious!
The bishop in the room by the start.
One of the mooks inside.
Dorcas got rid of the thief inside, because I like my vulneraries where they are. And here we can see the reinforcements starting to pour in.
Lucius is going right with Florina, Bartre, and Kent.
Fucking finally!
eh
Going to let this guy out so I can stab him.
Going to steal this guy's lockpicks. And then stab him.
It feels so wrong, and yet so right...
A wyvern.
A very, very, very slight risk.
My bards both carry keys. Should probably have traded Kent's to someone with an actual move stat... but hey.
And then we killed everything inside.
Not a lot left now.
Yoink!
Showing this just for the amazing Serra palette.
eh
Got started on the chests. Thanks, I guess...
Fuck.
But hey! More lockpicks to steal.
ehhhh. I'd need to check if it does anything fun, but it doesn't look great. Missing part of the description for some reason??
And the last chest was just a skill boost I don't need.
And then, our Karel is...
terrible.
Of course.
Comes with a second dragon axe, though.
Hey! That is my thief! Mine! You can't have him!
okay there we go
you can have the leftovers.
He is uh. None of those things.
But what the hell.
Dorcas took out the assassins inside, don't want a stray 1% silencer or anything.
Guy splatted the last reminder of what he might have been, in another universe.
And then the boss.
Look at that smug grin!
Sweet.
This is hilarious. But pointless.
This is better!
Nice, nice.
And I kept them together all map so they've B support now. Probably not going to be as ridiculous as Louise and Hawkeye, though...
It is a good support. It mentions Roy. 
You had better hope that it does, or the world's screwed! Anyway, that was that so we seized.
FE translators are really having issues with the concept of headpats, huh...?
Of course, I don't think anyone really wants one of those from Sonia. The slime might rub off.
In an alternate universe,
we would have got a better (and cooler) unit out of this.
Alas.
Next up on Ninian's Bizarre Randomizer:
Renault does not kill Lyn!