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Update 2: The Goon's Pilgrimage
Someplace I know
So... last time, we talked to a computer and it literally reached out and talked to us! This will be an official no talking to computers update!
Anyway... let's head through the now unlocked door.
Helloooo?
...anyone?
Nobody responds, thankfully at this point. I'm not sure I'm ready for the recycle bin to have a few choice words for me as well.
We try using our dry branch on the spark, but to no avail. We may need something more.
[Perhaps it could be lit.]
We are definitely on the right track with trying to get a fire started though.
Ah, a kitchen! Surely there's something we can use to help start up the fire.
[Niko takes it.]
Well, I guess under the circumstances we can forgive Niko for taking alcohol. We really shouldn't encourage the behavior though.
Oh! Right, the branch... of course. They're not planning to drink it. My mistake.
Ah!
The game usually has a sound or text box to tell us that the item worked but in this case it's just Niko saying "Ah!" Either way, we can now light up that fireplace!
Eh? What's that on the floor?
[Something on the ground glimmers in the firelight. It appears to be a small metallic object, wedged into a crack in the floor.]
The small metallic object is a key! There are two different doors in here, so we'll try em both and see which one takes us out of here.
That's uh, a giant hole. Our key is way too tiny to fit in there. We'll have to see if the other door works with the key.
Oh good, dark and spooky basement staircase. Nothing goes wrong on these things.
Is that our key out of here? It looks... weirdly shaped for a key.
Puzzle Solved
Oh, it's a lightbulb! I'm... not sure how Niko is powering it though. Since I don't think they've got a mobile power plant under their hat.
Sure enough, it's a lightbulb. The whole game has been really dark to this point so having the lightbulb around really brightens up the place.
With the lightbulb in tow, we can go check out that door with the lightbulb shaped lock.
Huh... okay. Teleporting doors with lighbulb locks. We sure as hell ain't in Kansas.
The only computers I like right now - dead ones.
There's nothing else of interest in this place, time to head out the door.
Phosphor
The game is introducing this mechanic a bit too early - since we can't actually utilize this until later. But boy am I glad this was implemented. I'll talk about it more later when we actually use it, but fast travel is pretty self-explanatory.
Anyway, let's explore this new area and see where we are at.
Hmm, this place has robots. Apparently ones that aren't powered - which implies we can re-power them up. We'll have to look around and see if we can figure out how to do that.
Heading north from our starting position...
We find a lot of emptiness... A lot of dead or unpowered robots, train lines broken, and big piles of rocks/dirt. There's not much here I'm afraid.
Hey! We found someone!
...
...
Oh, that joy was short lived. Let's continue on.
There's just a bed in the middle of this broken down train car? Why is the bed here?
[Niko first woke up in this world here. It's important that you allow Niko to sleep once in a while. The game will exit automatically and can be continued later. Don't be alarmed]
Ok, which computer is still alive??? You're all supposed to be dead, not talking to me about save points!!!
So yeah, the beds function as save points, though with a twist. You can't just save and continue - you have to save and quit. The game does perform autosaves for you if you have to just turn off the game at anypoint, but the game doesn't handle that as well. It's not a long game, so it's easy to make it to these points to save and quit.
[Niko takes it.]
Nice - another item! This one will get some use soon. We're done with the train car, so let's head outside and keep heading north.
Oh, well that's a definite dead end... literally 
Heading back all the way to where we started and this time going south...
We come across this colorful robot and what looks like a shack behind them. As soon as we can get some power to it, we should be able to talk to it too.
Or it's already active??
The Prophecy
[Ah!]
[That Lightbulb...! You Are Here!]
M-
Me?
[Yes! Welcome To Our World, Friend! I Am Most Humbled By Your Presence. Yes!]
Uh, thanks...
...
Sorry... I'm a little lost...
[Ah Right! Allow Me To Explain Some Things. May I First Ask How You Arrived Here?]
I'm... not sure...
It was really dark!
[Oh!]
[So You Woke Up In An Unfamiliar, Dark Location?]
Mhm!
[You Are The Savior We Have Been Waiting For! You Will Be The One To Save Our World From Eternal Darkness.]
...um.
[I Will Now Provide You With Vital Information! Please Ask Me Anything!]
Ah well... can you tell me about...
... can you tell me about...this world
I'm not sure where I am, exactly...
I can't see too far off, everything's so dark...
[Our World Was Not Always This Dim. Nor Was It So Broken.]
[But Time Waits For Nobody, Not Even Saviors.]
Niko, you are somehow taking this whole being a savior thing as if it's not a big deal. I mean if someone called me a savior I'd at least want to ask why before just going "Oh okay yeah makes sense".
[The World Is Divided Into Three Regions. You're On The Fringe Right Now, The Barrens. That Tower You See In The Distance Once Held Our Sun.]
Oh, so that's what the tall thing was...
[As You Go Further Towards The Center, You Will Cross The Other Regions. There Should Be A Map Still In This Outpost Somwhere...]
Ooo...can you tell me about...the lightbulb
I found it in the house I woke up in...
Your...
Sun?
[Yes!]
[Years Ago, Our Previous Sun Sat Atop That Tower And Spilled Its Life Into The Land.
[But One Day, The Light Went Out.]
Oh...
[The World Is Still Hanging On By A Thread.
[The Surface Of This World Is Abundant With An Element Called Phosphor. Fortunately For Us, This Element Stored Light Energy From Our Previous Sun. It's Now Our Only Source Of Illumination, But Its Energy Is Finite.]
[When The Last Of The Light Dies, Our World Will Too.
Ah...
[You Will Need To Restore It To The Tower.]
That looks... pretty far off!
[Yes. So Begins Your Pilgrimage.]
[Also, The Sun Is Fragile, So Be Careful.]
Ah... good to know. So keep the thing as safe as we can. I'm unsure how the world was able to survive without the sun, but if the new sun is destroyed then the world just instantly blinks out of existence. But hey, who am I to question the physics of a world in which a lightbulb is the sun?
Oh...
can you tell me about...the computer
In the house, I found this... computer. It kept saying stuff like
"Your actions here will affect Niko." But... I'm Niko!
Are those messages meant for someone else?
[Hm...]
Uh, to who now?
...Goons?
[Ah, That Would Be Our God!]
You... worship... goons????? My God, find a better pack of deities!!! Surely the Greeks can lend you one!
[If You Are Here, That Means The Goons Are Here Also. Goons Will Provide Guidance For Your Journey. In Fact, They Already Have.]
This game will finally give us an answer as to how many goons are required to screw in a lightbulb. 20 years of Something Awful history all building up to this game!
Really?
I haven't seen anyone though...
[Have You... Not Contacted The Goons Yet?]
I don't think so.
[Being The Bringer Of Our Sun, You Have The Sacred Ability To Communicate Directly With Goons... An Ability That No One Else Possesses, Certainly Not I.]
This is where prophetbot hands Niko a ten dollar bill - the sacred communication device.
[Please Close Your Eyes And Focus.]
Alright...
...Goons? Are you... there?
Uh... Hi?
Oh! N- nice to meet you, Goons! My name is Niko!
I actually heard someone!
This is incredible...
[Do Not Be Afraid To Ask The Goons For Your Assistance. You Are The Messiah After All.]
So, to explain what's going on: This game's view of the 4th wall is similar to the koolaid man's view - it only exists for it to be smashed. The computer in the house pulls the name listed on your windows profile. Other games have done this maneuver as well, but uh... this game's gonna take it to some interesting places. Needless to say, I changed my windows profile name to 'Goons' to perform this trick, lest my name be blasted out for all to see. If the game doesn't pull the correct name you can change it with the option "That is not my name". Useful if your windows profile name doesn't really fit.
The game is going to act like the name is only referring to one person - which is gonna make Goons sound a bit... clunky. I'm going to change a bit of dialogue going forward to try and alleviate this issue - mostly just changing to accommodate for the name being a plural group instead of a singular person.
can you tell me about...going home
I don't mean to be rude, but I..
I'm... not sure about this.
I still don't know how I got here!
I was just with my mama a few hours ago...
And now it feels like I'm in a bad dream...
I just want to go home...
[...]
[Your Mission Is To Save Our World.]
[Just As My Mission Is To Tell You About Our World.]
[I Am Unable To Help You Beyond My Programming]
[I Am Sorry.]
...oh
Despite that seemingly like the end of prophetbot interactions... they've got more answers to a new slate of questions if you talk to them again.
...the Barrens? It's so... empty here...
[That's Why It's Called The Barrens.]
...are there... ANY people living in this area? ... besides robots, I mean.
[I Do Not Know. I Was Not Built To Wander.]
No wandering... no singing... what's the point of this game??? 
... not... built to? So... you just stand here?
Must be boring...
Do you at least have friends?
Robot... friends?
[I Cannot Desire Companionship.]
[I Have Not Been Tamed.]
Not... tamed?
[There Was No Time.]
I see...
So is taming a bot just giving them self-awareness? Is that a thing this world can do? Could you imagine how much more to say this bot would have if it was self-aware? Jeez...
Can you tell me about the prophecy?
What is this prophecy, exactly?
[The Prophet Predicted That A Savior Will Arrive From Another Land. The Savior Will Wake Up In A Strange House, Find The Sun, And Illuminate The World.]
Oh... uh
What else did you... foresee?
[What Do You Mean?]
What else did you see in the prophecy?
Wait... You ARE the prophet, right?
[Good Heavens, No!]
But you called it "my prophecy" earlier...
[That Just Means It Is Built Into My Programming.]
...Your... what?
[Ah. My Programming Is What Guides Me.]
[I Am A Robot, After All.]
I see...
How tall is the tower? I can't seem to even see the top...
[I Am Not Allowed To Answer.]
But... how do I get up there?
[In Time, The Goons Will Know What To Do.]
I... see.
Niko disappointed to find out that their entire journey depends on some goons figuring out how to save the world.
That was a lot of dialogue! Turns out a robot named Prophetbot may have a lot to say! Next time, we'll take a look inside that building and finish exploring the area.