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A Coon and Friends Comic Series - New Kid Vol. 1
Issue #002 - New Kid vs Dragon Tank
Hello everyone and welcome back to South Park! Last time we didn't get a whole lot accomplished thanks to aggressive DLC rewards. But today we'll fix that thanks to our introduction to the game's combat system!
As forewarning, I probably will not do videos for boss fights just because of how long they can take. The 'half hour each' claim in the previous update was not an exaggeration.
You gotta come fight, my liege. You're our only hope!
Kyle is very impatient. His text is aqua colored, while Butters' is cyan. What's the difference, I hear you asking? Butters' text is bright blue and has no green. Kyle's has green in it.
Where are you going, my lord? That is World's End!
There's sharks in the water somehow. Anyway, we're being funneled to the right, so let's just follow along.
We smack him in the face and combat starts!
So you might notice that the combat screen looks different somehow.
Teach 'em a lesson, my lord!
GO KING GO!
Combat now takes place on a grid. Think of it similar to Mega Man Battle Network as the closest analogue. Enemies can only attack whatever is directly in front of them, and you can only move so far in a single turn.
Speaking of which, right now we can only move into any of the three squares highlighted in blue. I don't know why Kyle is taking up a square, because at no point in these tutorials do we get to control him. Also, for some reason, the World's End sharks take up two squares to the New Kid's right as well.
Combat is as simple as selecting what ability you want to use.
Here we can see that the basic ass punch only affects the square directly in front of the New Kid. Importantly, we can move around freely while we have the ability selected!
So if we move him one square forward, we can see how the punch will affect the enemy. In this case, it will one shot the first Moorish and then send him flying back into the second one... also damaging him! You can tell all of this by just looking at the squares on the battlefield.
The Fractured but Whole is a remarkably tactical game, especially later on once combat really opens up and you have to deal with gimmick bosses. They aren't all winners, but they're a lot more engaging on the whole than the "layer on DOTs and win" tactics from the Stick of Truth! That's not to say that you still can't do that, but they aren't percentile anymore.
Knockback is one of the most powerful abilities in this game, and multiple boss fights make it absolutely mandatory. Also don't get too used to King Douchebag's moveset, because it's going away after the tutorial. This is just to get us used to combat.
I'd gif it, but it's just two South Park men hitting each other with sticks. Also 
I should also point out that not once so far have we been asked to do a timed hit. This game has them, but they're different from the first game, and the timing is a lot less strict. We'll presumably be introduced to them once we get into the game proper.
We can't stop him! Ready the Guards of the Dark Court!
His powers are unparalleled!
A little farther down the street we meet this trio.
There's a good 10 seconds after combat starts where nothing happens and I don't know why. Eventually we get control and we can see that the New Kid can move around a lot better in this fight.
Like the FFX turn order thing, we can see who moves and when. There are ways to influence this later on, but for now it's handy to see when you can move.
The second fight has unlocked the New Kid's farting powers. So we can hit the Y button to use those. Here we can see that it affects the three squares in front of where he is, and can affect multiple enemies at once. Also if you look really closely at the lower left corner, we can see the effects and conditions on the move. In this case, Fart applies a knockback, but has a 2 turn cooldown.
The knockback, it should be noted, is only for a single square.
So now everyone is on the same column, but our fart is on cooldown.
It's fine, they're the bad guys.
Oh yeah. GO KING!
The guy in front of New Kid hit him for paltry damage while the other two are just flanking him. Pity we can't fart again.
But we can still beat the shit out of this guy.
Great smiting, King!
We've seen all that needs to be seen here. So let's skip ahead to when we win.
Stand aside or die! We're going through that door!
You can't.
Oh yeah? Why not?!
Because everything in front of here is lava!
Oh, dude, no way. All that is lava?!
Come on, let's get inside!
We can't. They're saying everything in front of the door is lava.
Oh, that's not fair!
What do we do, my King?
A DRAGON?!
We're fucked.
The dragon gets combat advantage.
Getting hit while exploring means the enemy goes first. In this case, they use their turn for a whole 8 damage. Out of 75.
One fart clears out the two adds and leaves us alone with the dragon.
The game is going to explicitly tell us about what to do here, but I bet you can guess anyway. Even without the dialogue up top. Any attacks marked by the red warning symbols take at least one turn to resolve, giving you in theory plenty of time to get out of the way.
Get out of the way of the fire breath!
Because the dragon takes up two full columns, we can't run past it for shelter. So instead we just have to duck back out of the way.
This is important to keep in mind. Sometimes you can't do anything on your turn, so you gotta end it without attacking.
Hah, our King dodged it!
Ah, dammit.
OK, if you get a fire breath attack, our King gets his Hammer of Heavenly Reign!
CAR!
CAR!
Pfffft. That's pretty good.
Clear.
Welp.
We're racking up accolades now!
No frickin' way. That kid's amazing!
If there is a way through the garage, the King will find it!
Yes, only the King can find the secret way through the garage. If... I mean if there is one.
We'll have to do this a lot. Drag and move stuff around, I mean.
Wow! King Douchebag is such a skillful warrior! Did you see how he moved that ladder and used it to climb up?
Truly he is the most powerful king in all the realms.
Holy fuck, he's amazing.
They're seriously laying this on a bit thick.
Anyway, up on top of the garage we have... ugh...
A quicktime event.
We failed and didn't make the jump in time.
At least the game is generous with its checkpoints.
We land in the backyard Kupa Keep and find some Moorish interrogating Jimmy.
LIES! You shall feel the wrath of the Moorish!
Seriously. Laying it on a bit too thick here.
That's right! And if you don't- Wait, wait, whoa... Where's the wizard?
I thought he was with you guys.
No, we got a distress signal to come help him here.
THE WIZARD IS GONE! My name is The Coon. I'm from the future!
Yeah, we're all split up. What's the point?
In my time there is a massive crime wave and missing cats! I knew my only hope was to assemble the team.
Shut up, Kevin. This isn't about some dumb stick! There's a cat in trouble and it's the key to finding the crime syndicate new to our town! In the future.
Crime syndicate? That... that sounds too heavy for Coon and Friends.
Well, what do you want, Clyde?! You want the fucking Freedom Pals to find the missing cat, get the hundred dollar reward, and make their superhero franchise more popular?!
That's right.
The Coon alert! Come on, Coon Friends, go get your stuff and report back to the Coon Lair! In the future!
COON AND FRIENDS, ASSEMBLE!
...welp.
My parents don't believe in synthetic fabrics, so... Kind of rules out all the best superhero outfits.
I'm bummed. I was going to take up a trade, learn how to fletch arrows.
Maybe we can play our own game! Like... uh... Hmm... Oh, I don't know.
Nobody asked me if I wanted to play superheroes...
Well, nothing left to do but go home and play Star Trek Bridge Crew!
The longer you stand next to me, the more of a dork you become.
You're a dork, too?
Owww! Set phasers for flambe!
The Grand Wizard's throne room has seen better days. So has Antonio Banderas.
So let's go play superheroes. Also the moorish is complaining because I farted on him.
It seems like anything with a gold handle could be opened - give it a shot!
Eric's spending so much time playing superheroes, I'm afraid he's not eating!
Eric and his friends are so imaginative!
Looks like a security device on the door to the basement.
Hmm... it's hard to say what the password could be. Knowing Cartman, it could be almost anything.
...put a lock on the door to keep me out. I'm sure he has the passcode written down here somewhere...
Let's check upstairs.
Pet the kitty.
When you enter a bathroom, don't be shy about taking a potty break. You can get some neat stuff when you use the toilet! Good luck, bud!
Towelie is actually giving some useful advice! There's an achievement to poop in every toilet in South Park, and a challenge to do it in most of them. Starting with this one, I'm gonna be using assist mode because it's less frustrating.
That was simple enough! Moving on...
Liane cleaned up her dressing table I see. There's nothing important in her room otherwise. So let's just go to Eric's room.
His closet is pretty packed.
I, um, am going to have to censor these images. If I showed them to you all, I would get instantly permabanned.
Censoring images courtesy of Orange Fluffy Sheep and Leal. The important bits here are in the last image.
That's a key item! Maybe that means it's important!
...front of my door! Well - No, it's not hot, but... my son told me I will burn to death if I try to cross it! Uh-huh... Oh... Yes, he did tell me that if I step on a crack it would break my mother's back... It won't?
Right... let's just get into the basement.
That's Clyde talking.
That's not enough, Mosquito! We have to act fast before the Freedom Pals can!
That cat looks pretty old. Maybe it just died in the gutter somewhere.
Human Kite, do I have to remind you that as of right now Freedom Pals have over a hundred followers on Instagram?!
THIS is the key to finally beating those fuckers!
But where do we start looking? That cat could be anywhere.
We need to split up. Mosquito, take to the air and check out all the city parks.
Clyde is the Mosquito.
Super Craig!
Whooosh!
...get to the Mayor's Office and tell her we're on the case.
Don't worry Coon, you can count on Fastpass to get there fast.
Excuse me.
The Coon Lair kinda sucks.
Cartman's plan has been amended.
Do not touch, huh?
HEY HEY HEY! Do not touch that! That device can blow up the entire Milky Way galaxy. Jesus, FUCK!
You be nice to your friends, Eric. Be a good sharer!
GOOD SHARER?! IT'LL BLOW UP THE FUCKING GALAXY! S-stupid bitch...
Look, dude, we already told you, you can't play! You aren't a superhero! You don't have a costume! You don't have any superpowers! Ugh, all right look, you can watch us play superheroes as long as you don't get in the way.
Fuck that. Let's touch the cube!
HEY! I told you not to fuck with that!
Fucking stop!
Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
Hahahaha. You know what? Fair enough.
Let's talk to Cartman instead of blowing up the galaxy.
Super Craig? Super Craig, this is Coon. Do you copy? Super Craig, the fuck are you? I repeat, the fuck are you, Super Craig?
Oh great, now the security system isn't working?! Dude, what the fuck? Ordinary citizens aren't allowed in the Coon Lair! We're playing superheroes now and you aren't a superhero, New Kid, so... Fuck off, OK?
...as long as you don't get in the way. Make yourself useful. Go grab me the Stafernisy device, it's over there.
Using LT we can look around in inspection mode. It highlights where interactable objects are!
Now that we have a viewfinder the Stafernisy device, let's return to Cartman.
You really wanna be a superhero, huh? Play with the big boys? Well, maybe... MAYBE you can be useful. Have a seat at the table, Douchebag.
And... that's the end of this update because you all have a very, very important vote!
So click through to here and answer! What power set shall the New Kid have? The choices are Super Strength, Super Speed, and Laser Blasts!
The people have spoken and the New Kid will be a laser blast hero!
This is not a binding choice, as we can re-pick later.