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Episode 6: Part 10: Rhue the Defendant!
The music for this scene is one of the unknown ones.
You probably should have told him that, eh?
Oh, you fucked up now, Rhue.
Doesn't matter. They've got nothing on me anyway.
You mean, you behaved at the party?
Of course!
No worries then.
Hey, isn't that girl you went to the party with going to be here?
She refused to testify for either side and she has practice at the Concert Hall today or something.
That's probably a good thing...
I thought you said you behaved?
Well... mostly.
"The defendant is charged with stealing an Outworld portal stone from the plaintiff."
CRULL" Let's get this thing rolling. Please note that there is no jury as the verdict rests entirely in my hands for this dispute.
I note that the defendant is here without representation. Will you be representing yourself today, Zehr Rhue?"
Zehr?
It's just a formal term, Rhue. Go with it.
Ah yes, I will be defending myself.
CRULL: Very well.
...
Surely I am in my element here, if nowhere else?
Alright... (I have a bad feeling about this though.)
CRULL: Let us begin. Zehr Moffat, will you be doing a cross examination of the defendant?
MOFFAT: Yes, your honor.
CRULL: Zehr Rhue, kindly go to the stand.
Sure.
GUARD: Please take the stand.
I can't, it's too heavy.
Rhue.
GUARD: Get BEHIND the stand.
Oh, right.
"Did you inquire about the portal stone at that time?"
MOFFAT: The plaintiff claims you threatened him as well. Is this true?
Nope, we just did it later.
MOFFAT: The evidence shows that you entered the vault by stowing away in a chest that was taken inside.
Objection! The evidence does NOT show that. It only "suggests" it.
CRULL: I agree. Objection sustain.
MOFFAT: The point is, what happened to the valuables that were inside the chest?
I'll tell you what happened to them!
They were found laying safely in a nearby laundry bin...
The woman in yellow still standing with Icabod jumps.
MOFFAT: Heh, oops.
That will be all, thank you.
CRULL: Zehr Straphachar, will you be cross examining the plaintiff?
Yes, I shall be.
Alan paces back and forth as he says this...
ICABOD: Uh...
CRULL: Sustained. Zehr Straphachar, please use "normal" language for the remainder of this hearing.
Very well...
Do you have any pets, Zehr Icabod?
ELYZE: Objection! That question bears no relevance to this case!
Your honor, please, this will lead to a very valid point.
CRULL: Objection overruled. Please continue Zehr Straphachar.
Do you have any pets, Zehr Icabod?
ICABOD: No.
No kitty kats?
ICABOD: No.
Why not?
ICABOD: I don't like kitty kats!
AUDIENCE MURMURING LOUDLY.
I see... Or could it be that...
...kitty kats don't like you?
AUDIENCE MURMURING LOUDLY.
ELYZE: Objection! The defense is badgering my cliet (SIC)!
Badgering? I never mentioned a badger. I'm talking about kitty kats.
CRULL: That's a good point, Alan. Objection overruled. Please continue.
Thank you, your honor.
Now, Zehr Icabod... how do you feel about pitty pat puppies?
what even is happening anymore
ICABOD: NO! I don't like them!!! I don't like kitty kats, swiftfoots, rolly pollys, pitter pat puppies, tweety birds, or moo cows!!! I don't like them! get it?!!
AUDIENCE MURMURING LOUDLY.
Ah, I think I see what you're saying.
Now tell me... do you like to eat a nice juicy steak every now and then?
ELYZE: Objection! This cross examination is insane! My client should not have to endure this ridiculous line of questioning!
If you were a little brighter deary, you would have already figured out what I'm getting at.
CRULL: I'm intrigued, the objection is overruled. Please wrap it up though Zehr Straphachar.
Certainly, your honor.
Now, tell me Zehr Icabod, do you have a nice juicy steak every now and then?
ICABOD: Yes.
AUDIENCE MURMURING LOUDLY.
So that would make it a couple times a week? Or a couple of times a day?
ICABOD: One or two a day...
What the fuck? Fuck you asshole. Also AUDIENCE MURMURING LOUDLY.
Are you aware Sir Icabod that steak comes from moo cows?
An animal that you have viciously slandered and denounced repeatedly!!!
AUDIENCE MURMURING LOUDLY.
ICABOD: I didn't think you meant...
Don't go back on your own words, you prevaricating fabulist!
I'd hate to see you perjure yourself to a prison cell for countless years over such a small thing.
ELYZE: Your honor, I object! This is an outrage!
MOFFAT: Yes, no one should be allowed to talk about cows so thoughtlessly!
ELYZE: No, you fool!
The defense is using deceiving word play in order to make it appear as if my client has contradicted himself!
In actuality, no such thing has occurred!
CRULL: Your comment is noted. Are you though, Zehr Straphachar?
Yes, your honor. The defense rests.
"The prosecution will now present witnesses that will verify the questions we asked the defendant during his cross examination.
"Good, I need not adjourn, for I am ready to render the verdict.
Let me start off by saying that today has been an incredible waste of the defendant's and my time.
The fact that you brought this charge against him shows a complete and utter lack of intelligence on any and every level.
This is a clear attempt to abuse the legal system and for that Zehr Icabod, you will not go unpunished.
This is my verdict...
You will pay out the following items to the defedant (SIC).
The defendant will recieve a Lyn Rock, Cross Stone, Lunge Stone, Drop Stone, and a Heart Stone from your collection.
Be more careful the next time you have the urge to point your finger around, Zehr Icabod. This case is now closed."
...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo (YEP)
Slade's such a goof.
Sweet victory was ours!
I never want to go back to court again.
Thou hast has a foul day, but let not your countenance be darkened. The sun shines brightly upon us this day!
Kind of makes you wonder about the justice system doesn't it?
lol.
I'm glad things went so well for you.
I'm just glad it's over.
It's just too bad that now there's probably no way for us to get that Outworld portal stone
What? You have need of one of those?
That's why I went to that dumb party in the first place.
It just so happens I have one of those myself.
You do?! Where did you get it?
At a flea market last week. I thought it would make a lovely paper weight.
If you have need of it you may have it, I can always find another object to rest on my documents.
I don't believe it... I went through all that crap, and you had one the whole time...
Mwahahah! Heh heh heh!
Flaming fires, that's some funny snap.
Then we all know what we have to do next. The House of Pnoe awaits.
...
Not for a while, Sacrifa. Not for a damn long while. We have a whole slew of sidequests to do first. Anyway that's scene end.
Thanks Lun. It's a piece of Stricite. Also on the second floor of Sacrifa's/Alan's mansion is a poster of something I wont show until later because it gives away a minor reveal.
And look at this!!!!!!!
With, that we're headed off to the Grand Palace to plunge and... get our fifth partymember.
the end