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Episode 6: Part 17: The Charlatans of Justice.
RED HAIR: Did you hear that guys? He wants to know who we are...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wij02JFyn8k
FANCY HAIR: Then we must enlighten him!
DARK HAIR: We are masters of mayhem!
BROWN HAIR: The purveyors of freedom!
FANCY HAIR: The hangmen of malfeasance!
RED HAIR: The apex of indignation!
ALL: The Badass Five!!!!
FANCY HAIR: Porter!!!!!
DARK HAIR: Iteroth!!!!!!
BROWN HAIR: Excell!!!!!
RED HAIR: Jeramyu!!!!!
PORTER: Oh, he's exiled.
Huh?
EXCELL: Hahah! Get it?! Exiled!!!
ALL: Hahahah!!!!
House of the Rising Sun starts playing. It's the song always used for this place other than their introduction.
Anyway, as you might have guessed by the name Jeramyu, this is a rather large cameo appearance by a bunch of regular members of The Ways fanbase. I remember all these guys except Iteroth. There's actually a couple other other people like Sage of the Wise or Impossible that I remember instead of that Iteroth guy.
Right... anyway I heard you guys were the people to see about earning vouchers for Fwacho's.
ITEROTH: Good, we've got a job for you then.
EXCELL: We need you to collect something for us.
PORTER: Tell her you want "the cookies". She'll know what to do.
Cookies? How many vouchers will I get for this?
PORTER: Five.
We want 19 in all if we want to avoid spending any of our Heart Stones on furniture.
EXCELL: Hey, five just like in Bad Ass Five!!!
For some reason I still clearly remember that Jeramyu once drew up a little comic about him constantly correcting Lun during testing on badass only being one word and the mistake still kept slipping through because Lun would be more concerned with adding more status effect inflicting moves to enemies instead.
ALL: Hahahah!!!!
And that's the scene over. But we can still talk to them.
...
Jeramyu was... still is the admin of the forums on Luns site, as dead as they are now.
I think Porter ran the IRC channel or something or might have been a mod too? IDR.
"Hey, want to help me kill them? No? Well, maybe next time."
I'll quote Jeramyu from his 2013 retrospective on the series here:
quote:
So here's the story of the Charlatans of Justice. Basically, some time during E6's development, one of the Badass 5 (Porter, Iteroth, Excell, Exiled, and myself) thought it would be cool for us to have a cameo in E6. I'm pretty sure it was Excell who actually asked it of Lun, who then asked us to give him a script. So we got together and assembled the most rancid, awful, horrible script for a cameo you've ever seen. I'm not going to post it, but I will say that I had to email Lun a recording of a fart sound effect I made myself. Fortunately Lun had the common, but good sense to completely disregard it and make up his own thing for us, which was a lot funnier and probably a lot more flattering too. And of course, the quests are awesome. I love my "drunk with power" line, the little wanted cards, and the dialogue with Porter once everyone is at the bar.
Anyway let's get to work on both this job and starting off Lexus' list.
Which one?
CLARA: The younger one.
Oh, it's so adorable! Let's take it home!
Okay then...
Getting a cat was surprisingly cheap and easy... And not too far from there is our actual target.
We're just here to collect "the cookies".
GRAMY: Hmm.. I'm not sure what you mean.
Why don't you come in and have some tea and maybe we can figure this out.
GRAMY: Now tell me, who sent you here?
Um... it was...
GRAMY: That name sounds familiar, but it's not ringing any bells.
Can you name one of the people who works for them?
If we answered wrong (or were hostile to her too much) at any point, we'd get into a fight and miss out on a bonus voucher.
GRAMY: Oh! "The cookies"! Now I remember. Let me get it for you.
And then I walk back to the Charlatans.
JERAMYU: All right! Let's pass them around!
ALL: *munch* *munch* *munch*
ITEROTH: These cookies suck!!!
EXCELL: Well, they're not "bad". Get it? Not "bad" like us!
ALL: Hahahah!!!!
JERAMYU: Well our profile on Grammy said she made bad cookies so I guess our intelligence was good.
PORTER: Of course, we thought out intelligence meant "bad" in a good way, but they meant "bad" bad.
ITEROTH: So when you say our intelligence was good, do you mean that it's bad. Bad in a good way that is.
JERAMYU: Yeah, our intelligence is definitely badass.
Here is your next target.
JERAMYU: Qupp is a judicial specialist.
Judicial specialist? What does that mean?
JERAMYU: Let's just say he has some papers that we need to get our hands on.
He's hidden them in a shanty in the outer city.
Your mission is to break in and steal the papers.
I'll mark the shanty with a blue circle on your map.
Exiled will meet you there and give you any further instructions if necessary.
How much does this pay?
ITEROTH: Six vouchers.
We make our way to a spot where Exiled is waiting for us near the shanty.
Qupp comes out and then jumps in front of his high front window there.
Then he goes on his way.
Exiled says he hides the key on the windowsill and that Rhue's job is to go inside and find the documents.
A wooly in heat? What does that sound like?
EXILED: You'll know it when you hear it. Come on, let's go.
Exiled accidentally punches the window and breaks it while getting the key.
Those wooden planks creak when Rhue walks on them too.
The walkthrough doesn't mention the Heart Stone hidden behind the pillar here.
This is how you figure out the combination to the chest. The two piles of logs have ten logs each, and on the table there's two forks, and that box over near the chest has two swords.
I make sure to close the chest.
When we go to leave, of course, we hear the sound of a woolie in heat, which sounds like normal sheep bleating to me.
You have to find a place to hide and this is the only spot that works. Rhue doesn't comment on it, though if you try to hide where we found the broom he does say that's not a good spot, which is nice.
Qupp comes in and starts doing something.
When he turns the sink on is the perfect time to walk across the creaky floor planks. Also if you take too long he'll find you even as 'well hidden' as you are.
JERAMYU: Well done. There were some who thought you wouldn't be able to complete the mission without waxing someone...
PORTER: *cough*
JERAMYU: ...but you've proved the doubters wrong.
ITEROTH: The full reward of six vouchers is yours.
EXCELL: I'm sure you're in eager to see what we have in store for you next.
Very...
'Posting-without license.'
And?
JERAMYU: He's involved in a new business venture. Find the location of his business then eliminate him.
You want him dead?
PORTER: Very dead.
He was last seen yesterday entering and then shortly exiting a hovel in the outer city.
We have marked the location on your map. Go there and see what you can find.
ITEROTH: The pay for this job is 8 vouchers. Have fun.
I'll cover this in the next update, along with some other things, as it's by far the most involved mission these guys give us. Also the last one.
the end