Off-site Screenshot test poster

Hello and welcome to the future! It's the year 2183 and things are going wonderfully. Before we get started, take a minute to just listen to this awesome track.

Mass Effect OST - Vigil

Vigil is the main menu theme for the first game and is used in the wider series for particularly emotional scenes. It's really good. I couldn't tell you what most tracks in the game are called, but this one sticks out to me.

Anyway, after you've had your fill of Vigil, let's get started.

Classified Information Requested

We're delving into the personnel database of the Systems Alliance.

John Shepard? Nah, I don't think so. I don't have anything against Mark Meer, but statistics aside, he's not the real Shepard. So let's just fix this up real quick and put in a new ID.

Molly Shepard as voiced by Jennifer Hale is the real Commander Shepard.

Too bad her information has been corrupted. So we have to rebuild it.

Spacer: Both of your parents were in the Alliance military. Your childhood was spent on ships and stations as they transferred from posting to posting, never staying in one location for more than a few years. Following in your parents footsteps, you enlisted at the age of eighteen.

Colonist: You were born and raised on Mindoir, a small border colony in the Attican Traverse. When you were sixteen slavers raided Mindoir, slaughtering your family and friends. You were saved by a passing Alliance patrol, and you enlisted with the military a few years later.

Earthborn: You were an orphan raised on the streets of the great megatropolises covering Earth. You escaped the life of petty crime and underworld gangs by enlisting with the Alliance military when you turned eighteen.

Molly has the Colonist background. We'll learn more about the particulars as the game goes on. While I could explain everything now, it would be a bunch of unexplained Proper Nouns that are doing things.

And as for her psych profile...

Sole Survivor: During your service, a mission you were on went horribly wrong. Trapped in an extreme survival situation, you had to overcome physical torments and psychological stresses that would have broken most people. You survived while all those around you fell, and now you alone are left to tell the tale.

War Hero: Early in your military career you found yourself facing an overwhelming enemy force. You risked your own life to save your fellow soldiers and defeat the enemy despite the impossible odds. Your bravery and heroism have earned you medals and recognition from the Alliance fleet.

Ruthless: Throughout your military career, you have held fast to one basic rule: get the job done. You've been called cold, calculating, and brutal. Your reputation for ruthless efficiency makes your fellow soldiers wary of you. But when failure is not an option, the military always goes to you first.

She's also the sole survivor of a massacre of Akuze, where her whole unit got wiped out by giant alien sandworms. No really.

Class distinctions barely matter in this game. Specialists can learn every power in their archetype, while hybrids get access to some but not all of them.

Soldier - Combat specialist. Wears the heaviest armor, can learn proficiencies with all weapons so they can be played any way you like.
Engineer - Tech specialist. Can effortlessly hack into any system or bypass any lock. Can get rid of enemy shields easily.
Adept - Biotic specialist. The mage archetype for Mass Effect. They can use every biotic power in the game and can employ them with deadly efficiency.
Infiltrator - Combat/Tech hybrid class. The sniper.
Sentinel - Tech/Biotic hybrid class. They're there too. I guess.
Vanguard - Combat/Biotic hybrid class. This sure is another class that exists.

Weapon proficiencies don't matter a lick, because every class can learn pistol proficiency. And pistols, I shit you not, are the strongest and most useful weapons in the game. Class selection will be a lot more informed in Mass Effect 2, when every class has a very distinct play style. But for now, it's like picking between Vanilla, Chocolate, or Strawberry. Or three different types of Neapolitan.

For the record, Molly Shepard is an Engineer because why not? I've never played as one before, but it's not like this is a particularly hard game.

This next page is asking us to pick our prestige skill. This is a side effect of playing through the game multiple times... I've earned, I'm pretty sure, every possible in-game achievement outside of difficulty-based ones. So we can pick from any of the other skills in the game to learn.

There's no point in learning proficiency in another type of weapon, because of what I mentioned above about pistols. So instead we get to pick from all the different biotic powers!

Lift - Lifts an enemy up off the ground and immobilizes them in midair, leaving them helpless.
Throw - Hits an enemy with a powerful wave of biotic energy, sending them flying.
Warp - Hits an enemy with a powerful damage over time effect while also crippling their defenses.
Singularity - Think Lift, but in a large area of effect. Much longer recharge time. Also it can pick up nearby objects and cause them to smash into affected enemies.
Barrier - An additional layer of protection on top of the standard shields. Only lasts a limited time.
Stasis - Takes an enemy out of the fight for a short duration, but also renders them invulnerable to damage.

Lift is arguably the most useful of the biotic abilities, so we'll take that as our prestige skill.

Finally we have appearance. It's quite difficult to make a Shepard that looks remotely normal in this game. I've tried to mitigate it as best I can by starting in Mass Effect 3 and making a face in that, and then going through this really tedious process of translating the code the game gives me to the sliders in this game.

I don't think I was necessarily successful.

Molly here is gonna be our character for the tutorial. After that, you all will have the opportunity to keep her or change any aspect of her character. Everything from her name on to her appearance. The only things I will outright veto are one of the class choices and gender.

At no point in the enterprise will we ever play an Infiltrator. The Mass Effect games just aren't fun sniping games. I'd much rather play Sniper Elite 4 if I wanted to blow video game guys apart with high powered rifles. As for gender, I meant what I said about Mark Meer and Jennifer Hale. Femshep is superior in every way.

Well, what about Shepard? She grew up in the colonies.

She knows how tough life can be out there. Her parents were killed when slavers attacked Mindoir.

She saw her whole unit die on Akuze. She could have some serious emotional scars.

I'm not posting videos because

but...

is Captain David Anderson, a decorated war veteran. He's voiced by Keith David

is Admiral Steven Hackett. He's voiced by Lance Henriksen.

is Donnel Udina, the human ambassador to the galactic community. He's voiced by Bill Ratner.

Bill Ratner is the narrator from King's Quest VI. Keith David is, well, Keith David. And Lance Henriksen is Bishop the Android from the Alien movies.

Her last psych eval came back clean. She's actually pretty stable, all things considered.
Fair enough.

Is that the kind of person we want protecting the galaxy?

That's the only kind of person who can protect the galaxy.

I'm inclined to agree with Anderson, Ambassador.
Very well then. I'll make the call.

We're gonna be playing MAS EFFE!

Believe it or not, this is not a resizing error. This is actually what it looks like in the raws. It's supposed to be this really slick cut to the Mass Effect title logo, but

The SSV Normandy, the most technologically advanced ship in the Alliance navy.

And here comes Commander Shepard now!

Doctor.
Commander.

Ma'am.
Pressly.

The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector.

All stations secure for transit.

Shepard's journey to the bridge finally comes to an end.

The board is green. Approach run has begun.

The Normandy is approaching a Mass Relay. They're essentially galactic hyperlanes. After an archaeology team unearthed alien ruins on Mars, humanity eventually discovered that the dwarf moon Charon was in fact the Mass Relay for the Sol system, just frozen over.

Hitting the relay in 3... 2... 1...

Nihlus is a special guest on board the Normandy. The ship is otherwise fully staffed by humans. Nihlus here is a Turian, a... uh... bird man? Anyway, he turns to leave and walks off.

I hate that guy.

Nihlus gave you a compliment... so you hate him?

Lieutenant what are you even doing up here? The Normandy is my baby, I can fly her just fine without your assistance.
The Captain asked me to help out. He doesn't want to look bad in front of our guest.
And the Marine Lieutenant not helping fly the ship made him look bad?
Guess so. Besides you have to admit it's pretty nice to have someone helping out.

You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom? That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible!

Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid.

You're paranoid. The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment.

Kaidan, the man that the pilot is talking to, is the ship's resident biotic and is the lieutenant directly in charge of all the marines on the ship. He's also the game's version of Carth Onasi. Or he would be if he had a personality. The man's as generic and forgettable as they come.

He's also voiced by Raphael Sbarge, so he's in the most literal sense actually Carth as well. ~~Because they share a voice actor.~~ This also means that femshep is Bastila. Maybe that's not such a great thing now that I think about it. Well whatever.

Yeah, that is the official story. But only an idiot believes the official story.

Conversations in Mass Effect look like this. Top path is the good guy path, bottom is the dickwad path, and middle is the

path. Any options on the left-hand side of the dialogue wheel don't progress the conversation and instead are used to get more information.

Also Shepard here is the ship's XO - she's second in command after the Captain. We're gonna be playing her as a good guy with a little twist.

I wouldn't discount Joker's opinion, Lieutenant. They don't send Spectres on shakedown runs.

See? Theres more going on here than the captains letting on.

I'll explain Spectres in a bit. Or, rather, an NPC will. So just sit tight.

Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid.

Good. Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime.

Aye, aye, Captain. Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way.

He's already here, Lieutenant.

The look that Kaidan is giving Joker is priceless.

You get that, Commander?

He doesn't sound too happy. Something must have gone wrong.

Pff. Captain always sounds like that when he's talking to me.

I no sooner get control than I misclick and pull a pistol on Kaidan. I have to look up in the options menu how to holster it. It's Q, for the record.

Shepard can hear Navigator Pressly talking to someone from way up here. Must be a pretty loud discussion.

He's a Spectre. They're always on a mission.

And we're getting dragged right along with him!

Relax, Pressly. You're going to give yourself an ulcer.

Time to engage in that most sacred of Bioware game traditions... fucking around when we're supposed to be doing something.

Congratulations, Commander. Looks like we had a smooth run. You heading down to see the captain?

I overheard you before. Sounds like you don't trust our turian guest.

Sorry, Commander. Just having a chat with Adams down in engineering. Didn't mean to cause any trouble. But you have to admit, something's odd about this mission. The whole crew feels it.

You think the Alliance brass is holding out on us?

If all we're supposed to do is test out the stealth system, why is Captain Anderson in charge?

It's been made no secret that this is supposed to be Captain Anderson's ship once we're done here. Who better to helm her shakedown run?

I suppose... But then there's Nihlus.

You mentioned the stealth systems a moment ago... What do you know about them?

I just know it masks our location from scans and sensors. Cutting edge technology. The Normandy's the only ship with this prototype drive. But why are we fully staffed? A skeleton crew would be cheaper. Less chance of security leaks, too. Plus, there's Nihlus. It's pretty obvious this shakedown run is just a cover.

A cover? For what, exactly?

Damned if I know, Commander. We're out here on false pretenses. I'm not a fan of being left in the dark.

No, ma'am! But I can't figure out what he's doing here. Captain Anderson is one of the most decorated Special Forces officers in the service. If he melted down all his medals, he could make a life-size statue of himself.

You don't understand why they would give one of the most loyal and decorated officers in the Alliance a top of the line ship?

You don't send a soldier like that on a do-nothing mission. He's treating this shakedown run too seriously. Something big is going on.

So I guess, then, the problem is with Nihlus? Sounds like you don't trust him.

I don't like turians in general. Runs in my family. My grandfather fought in the First Contact War; lost a lot of friends when the turians hit us.

That was thirty years ago. You can't blame Nihlus for that.

No, I guess not. But it still makes me nervous to have a Spectre on board, especially a turian. We're an Alliance vessel, human military. But Nihlus doesn't answer to the captain like the rest of us. Spectres operate outside the normal chain of command. And they don't come along just to observe shakedown runs. Nihlus looks like he's expecting some heavy action. I don't like it.

Pressly, if Nihlus wasn't heavily armed, you'd be standing here criticizing him for not taking it seriously enough. Look, I'll see if I can't get some answers from the Captain. I need to speak with him anyway.

Good luck, Commander.

It's gonna come up more in the future. Racism is apparently one of those inherent human traits according to Mass Effect. Pressly and a future squad member are both the faces of it, but thankfully a Paragon Shepard can temper that to a degree. A Renegade Shepard vacillates between pro-humanity and being self-serving. The Galaxy as a whole is a very shitty place, and Renegade Shepards actively make it worse. That's why I'm playing Paragon in this run. It's nice to see the Galaxy being made less shitty by your actions.

I mentioned a twist earlier, though. That's because as soon as I'm able to, I'm going to open the developer console and cheat my Paragon, Renegade, Charm, and Intimidate scores to max. I'm not even going to try to hide that I'm doing it.

Why? Because Mass Effect is a lot more fun when you go through it actually role playing as your Shepard. Unfortunately, Bioware at this period of time liked to punish players who do that. Mass Effects 1 and 2 both have setpieces where if you don't have either absolute max Paragon or Renegade at that exact moment, then you get the worst possible outcome guaranteed.

So all that preamble was a long-winded way to say that this Shepard is going to strive to be good, but she's not going to be a pushover. You don't get through special forces training without learning how to see a betrayal coming a mile away. So she'll be using Renegade conversation options if she has cause to.

Jenkins, one of the marines on the ship, is just down the way talking to the staff doctor. Let's go annoy them.

That's crazy. The captain's in charge here. He wouldn't take orders from a Spectre.

Not his choice, Doc. Spectres don't answer to anyone. They can do whatever they want, kill anyone who gets in their way.

Ha! You watch too many spy vids, Jenkins.

Richard L. Jenkins on the left, Karin Chakwas on the right.

What do you think, Commander? We won't be staying on Eden Prime too long, will we? I'm itching for some real action!

I sincerely hope you're kidding, Corporal. Your 'real action' usually ends with me patching up crew members in the infirmary.

Easy there, Jenkins. Take a few deep breaths and chill. A good soldier stays cool, even under fire.

Sorry, Commander. But this waiting's killing me. I've never been on a mission like this before. Not one with a Spectre on board!

It'll be fine. Just treat this like every other assignment you've had and everything will work out.

Easy for you to say. You proved yourself on Akuze. Everybody knows what you can do. This is my big chance. I need to show the brass what I can do!

You're young, Corporal. You have a long career ahead of you. Don't do something stupid to mess it up.

Don't worry, ma'am. I'm not going to screw this up. Just excited and a little anxious, y'know?

It's very peaceful, Commander. They've been real careful with development, so you don't have any city noise or pollution. My parents lived on the outskirts of the colony. At night, I used to climb this big hill and stare across the fields back at the lights from the main settlement.

Not gonna lie, that sounds pretty nice.

It was gorgeous. But when I got older, I realized it was a little too calm and quiet for me. That's why I joined the Alliance. Even paradise gets boring after a while.

Any idea why Eden Prime was chosen as our destination?

Not really sure, Commander. Eden Prime's one of our most stable colonies. Good place to take the Normandy for her shakedown run, I guess. No real danger there. But there's got to be something else going on. We've got a Spectre on board! That's why I'm so wound up. I can't wait for the real mission to start!

Well, speaking of which... What do you know about the Spectres, Doctor?

Only what I've heard. Spectre agents work directly for the Citadel Council. They usually work alone or in small groups. Spectres don't have any official power, though. Basically, they're a shadow organization with a mandate to preserve and protect galactic stability.

We don't have one of our own people in there?

Spectres usually come from the Council races. Like the turians. We've been trying to get a human accepted into their ranks for years now. So far, it hasn't happened.

Hey, Commander! You'd make a good Spectre!

What makes you say that?

They're always getting dropped into impossible situations. Forced to survive unbeatable odds. Just like you on Akuze!

Those are some bad memories, Jenkins. I try not to think about Akuze.

Sorry, Commander. I-- I didn't mean to offend you. I respect what you did there. We all do.

Breaking up the conversation with some pictures to keep things from getting bogged down. Thank god I found a text dump online. I can't imagine manually transcribing all of this. I'd quit before we got done with Eden Prime. Mass Effect is an insanely wordy game.

How do you control agents with unlimited power?

I suppose the Council could revoke the Spectre status of an agent who got out of hand. At that point, Citadel Security Services would take over.

Those C-Sec grunts wouldn't stand a chance. A Spectre's worth twenty ordinary soldiers. The Spectres police themselves. An agent goes rogue, they send another agent to take 'em down. That's Spectre justice!

I do think Jenkins has the right of it. You don't send a cop to take down a rogue spec-ops agent.

*laughs* The corporal's confusing romantic legends with reality, Commander.

We've all got our vices, doc. Jenkins' being spy vids is harmless enough.
Hah! I suppose so, Commander.
Anyway, what about the man of the hour himself, Nihlus?

Turians are generally well-respected by the other species. Their fleet has more patrols protecting Citadel space than any other.

Shooting at an unknown species first and asking questions later is kind of a dick move.

As for Nihlus, I haven't said more than two words to him. He usually only speaks to the captain.

I hope we get a chance to see him in action. I heard Nihlus took down an entire enemy platoon all by himself!

Sorry, I better get going. The Captain's waiting for me.

Goodbye, Commander.

I usually ignore the codex in these games. I'm gonna try to remember to show stuff off, but I've spent so much time mentally tuning out the "new codex entry" popup that you'll have to forgive me if I don't show something off straight away.

This is the Secondary Codex, which has less important but still usually mildly interesting entries. Usually. For the moment, let's take a look at the entry for Shepard's personal history.

There's also the Primary Codex entries. These typically contain crucial information to help you understand the universe. Multiple characters have mentioned the First Contact War, so...

The Turian Primarchy are collectively pretty big assholes if their first contact policy is "shoot first, ask questions later." Anyway, I'll shove the rest of the codices at the end of the update. And then I'll forget about it until later. Probably not gonna post new codex entries if an update ends midway through a mission.

It's so weird going back to the Normandy's layout in the first game. I spent so much time playing 2 and 3 and comparatively little playing the first.

Nihlus is back here, in the meeting room. He's also standing awfully close to the screen.

Hello Nihlus. The Captain said he'd meet me here.

He's on his way. I'm interested in this world we're going to -- Eden Prime. I've heard it's quite beautiful.

They say it's a paradise.

Yes... a paradise. Serene. Tranquil. Safe. Eden Prime has become something of a symbol for your people, hasn't it? Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it, really?

It sounds like you're getting at something. Do you know something?

Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?

I'm sorry, I'm confused here. What's going on?

This mission is far more than a simple shakedown run.

I figured there was something you weren't telling us, sir.

We're making a covert pick-up on Eden Prime. That's why we needed the stealth systems operational.

There must be a reason you didn't tell me about this, sir.

This comes down from the top, Commander. Information strictly on a need-to-know basis. A research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of beacon during an excavation. It was Prothean.

Oh! I see. Yeah, I understand now. But I thought the Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago.

Their legacy still remains. The mass relays, the Citadel, our ship drives -- it's all based on Prothean technology.

This is big, Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. But Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study.

We can make a "why did we tell the council" dialogue choice here. That's an asshole thing to do for no reason, so I'm not gonna do it. Shepard is gonna spend the entire series espousing the benefits of working together, so may as well lay the foundations here.

It never hurts to have a few extra hands on board.

The beacon's not the only reason I'm here, Shepard.

There's more, Shepard. Nihlus isn't just here for the beacon. He's also here to evaluate you.

Evaluate me? Guess that explains why I bump into him every time I turn around.

The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council.

Not many could have survived what you went through on Akuze. You showed a remarkable will to live -- a particularly useful talent. That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectres.

No offense, Nihlus, but why would a turian want a human in the Spectres?

Not all turians resent humanity. Some of us see the potential of your species. We see what you have to offer to the rest of the galaxy... and to the Spectres. We are an elite group. It's rare to find an individual with the skills we seek. I don't care that you're human, Shepard. I only care that you can do the job.

I assume this is also good for the Alliance?

Earth needs this, Shepard. We're counting on you.

I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together.

I won't let either of you down.
Now, regarding the mission...

Any questions?
Yeah, several. First off, what do you know about the Protheans?

Just what they taught us in school. They were a technologically-advanced species that ruled the galaxy 50,000 years ago. Then they vanished. Nobody really knows how or why, though I've heard plenty of theories. But everyone agrees galactic civilization wouldn't exist without them.

Their Citadel is the very heart of galactic society. And without their mass relays, interstellar travel would be impossible. We all owe the Protheans a great debt.

What do you know about Eden Prime?

It's a peaceful farming world, but it represents something much bigger. Eden Prime is one of our oldest and most successful colonies. It proved we were ready to face the challenges of settling new worlds, to forge a place for humanity beyond Earth. It symbolizes humanity's growth and evolution as a spacefaring species. And after this, it will be known as the world where humans made a discovery of galactic importance.

And the beacon? Why is it so important?

All advanced galactic civilization is based on Prothean technology. Even yours.

If we hadn't discovered those Prothean ruins buried on Mars, we'd still be stuck on Earth. That was just a small data cache. Who knows what we can learn from this beacon? What if it's a weapons archive? We can't let it fall into the wrong hands.

Like who?

The Attican Traverse isn't the most stable sector of Citadel space. There are plenty of raiders and criminal groups active in the region. They might figure a Prothean beacon is worth the risk of attacking an Alliance ship. Plus, Eden Prime is right on the border of the Terminus Systems.

No. No it is not. The Attican Traverse is roughly the eastern sector of the galaxy. The Terminus are up north. Eden Prime is very firmly in what is considered Alliance space. It's like a single jump away from Earth. Even charitably saying that the borders get redrawn at some point (because this map is technically from Mass Effect 3), Eden Prime is still nowhere near the Terminus Systems.

The Attican Traverse is under Citadel protection. If the Terminus Systems attack, it's an act of war.

Technically, yes. But some species in the Terminus might be willing to start a war over this.

The Terminus Systems are the lawless regions of space. They're where pirate gangs roam. The closest thing they have to a government is just the person who rules the station they all hang out on. Despite the fervent wishes of politicans the universe over, you can't declare war on abstract concepts like piracy.

The last thing the Council wants is to get dragged into a major conflict with the Terminus Systems. We have to keep this low-key.

Alright, then just give the word and I'll be ready.