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PART 1 - THE BEGINNIG
Let's get things started with a NEW GAME.
So, right away we can see how rough this translation is going to be. As far as I can tell, Lotland, Roteland, Lortland, etc. are all the same place. We'll be seeing at least half a dozen different variations. I think "Lortland" is the most common, but it's close.
Also, I should point out that this text scrolls by QUICKLY. I had to record video and go frame-by-frame to get these screenshots, and also to be able to read any of this stuff myself.
So we have some terribly-translated exposition, in a funky-looking font, on a plain black background. Well, at least yellow on black is easy enough to read...
oh for fucks sake
Well whatever. You get the idea. Pursival is a big, old, fearsome dragon who burninated all the peasants and did bad stuff.
All right, I'll transcribe this one:
quote:The imprisonment of Pursival was quite accidental.
During the period of Pursival's dormancy,
Human,elf,dwarf intruded into
the cave of Garuun
and imprisoned Pursival.
It's a kind of miracle.
After imprisonment of Pursival,
Each of them established their kingdom.
Five kindoms of Gromen,
Moss, Metara,Rutania, Rossrolien
Moss, which was called 'the Kingdom of Magic'
quote:Gelman, had strong troops
became the leader of lortland
Gelman, which was called
'the fantastical kingdom of the West',
was confronted with Moss, the kingdom of magic.
Rosslorien, which was controlled by elf,
went to war with Rutania, the kingdom of dwarf.
War clouds hang over Roteland.
War didn't come up to the surface
only because of Metara, the sacred kingdom.
If you had "Elves and Dwarves hate each other" on your RPG Cliche Bingo card, go ahead and mark that one off now.
quote:In the year 1302,
the Gelmen calendar,
The large-scale Dark-elf hunting
started in the whole Gelmen land
who lived in the whole Gelmen land
was exterminated by the hunting.
In spite of wizzard Crrumunades' objection,
who insisted on the pureness of Gelmen
kept up with hunting for 10 years.
And in the year 1312,
the Gelmen calendar,
the hunting ended finally.
and one dark elf...
Check off "evil empire hunting down magical beings" while you're at it.
You know, this timeline was confusing enough before you decided to have two completely different calendars for no reason. Do these calendars have the same year length and are just 700+ years apart, or is it a whole different system? I don't know, and none of it matters. A few years ago, Gelmen killed off all of the dark elves except for one. There you go.
Finally, history lesson over. Time for some real action: the first cutscene!
To the left is our hero, Prince Blade. Coming in from the hallway is an unnamed royal servant.
Or should I say, a "SERVENT" of the castle. And yes, everyone in this game SHOUTS IN ALL CAPS despite the intro clearly demonstrating that the game's font comes in both upper and lower cases. Maybe everyone in [Lort/Rote/Lot]land is just at that level of intensity.
I'm going to guess this name is a reference to Pope Innocent III. If there are any parallels between this game and 13th century European history, I suspect they will be tough to wrest from this utterly heretical translation.
BLADE: MY FATHER SENT FOR ME?
WHERE IS HE?
SERVENT: YOU MUST APPEAR AT THE ROYAL COURT
BLADE exits the room and walks briskly through the north hallway, but is stopped by his sister...
Himedes? Geez, could they have given a worse name than th-
...oh. Oh no.
GUARD 2: THE KING IS EXPECTING YOU.
BLADE: I KNOW.
GUARD 1,2: PLEASE SEE HIS MAJESTY IMMEDIATELY.
BLADE: THANK YOU.
BUT FATHER, WHY HAVE YOU SENT FOR ME SO EARLY?
ISN'T MY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION
IN THE EVENING...?
INNOCENTIS 3RD: YOU CANNOT PARTAKE
IN YOUR BIRTHDAY FESTIVITIES THIS YEAR.
BLADE: BUT WHY...?
INNOCENTIS 3RD:BY ENTERINGTHE GARUUN CAVERNS
AND BRING BACK THE SEVEN JADE JEWELS WHICH LIE HIDDEN.
THIS IS DONE TO COMMEMORATE THE LATE KING,
KALANT II WHO PUT THE ANCIENT DRAGON
BACK TO SLEEP.
NOW, OFF WITH YOU, BRING BACK
HE JADE JEWELS AND PROVE BRAVERY TO ME AND THE PEOPLE!
Yikes. So BLADE's birthday present is to go solo a monster-ridden cave while everyone else in the kingdom stays at home to have a jovial celebration. What the shit, Dad? He might as well just give his kid ten bucks and tell him to fuck off.
INNOCENTIS 3RD: HERE, TAKE THIS FOR YOU TRAVELS.
BLADE:THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I SHALL BE OFF AT ONCE.
INNOCENTIS 3RD: LEAVE RIGHT NOW...
Welp. Our princely hero departs the castle, forbidden to return until he collects the jewels.
Dude, you better watch it with that "Our Majesty" crap. His Exalted Royal Highness King Pope Innocant Innocentis III doesn't seem like the type who would take that well.
What happens if we go back in? Do the guards stop us?
Nope. Let's see what happens if go bug Innocantis a bit more!
Wow. King-Pope-Dad is being the biggest possible douche to his son, on his own fucking birthday. What does this poor kid have to deal with on a typical day?
NEXT TIME: The journey begins!