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Stuff with gold handles are interactable. For example, we can shit on the toilet and grab crafting materials from the cabinet.

Yes, there's crafting, as per Ubisoft mandate.




We came here to hide! More friends just means more trouble!
You're being paranoid! You need to lay off of that stuff! It's changing you!
OH, LAY OFF! It's the one thing that helps me relax from your stupid shit! *Notices Douchebag* Oh hey, whippersnapper!



Your friends are downstairs, kiddo! Get out there and play!
*Nervous laughter*



I'm going to give you some tips from time to time, because well, who doesn't like tips, right? All right then. I'll see you later.

Towelie is part of an entire DLC. I don't find him too useful, but at we can turn him off if we want to.

By the way, we can peek at Douchebag's parents' room.




Now you know why I chose that thread tag.



This box contains rewards from DLC, which is A LOT. I'm not showing any of these here since I'm not going to use them in the main run. 70% of them are costumes while 99% are stuff we can't use yet. We can't use costumes yet



Your friends are at the front door, honey. Go outside and play.
It's OK, honey, there's just something in my eye!
Go away sweetie, this is mommy's crying time.
Don't worry, baby. When I'm dead, the pain will all go away.
I'm not crying, I'm laughing...uhhhhuuhhuu!





Macaroni is a very limited item. There's only 9 of them in the main game.



You gotta come fight, my liege. You're our only hope!



We're still firmly railroaded, thus we can't go to west.

Where are you going, my lord? That is World's End!



Punch that Moor in the face, King!



We can initiate combat by punching the opponent (not necessarily in the face). That way, we gain Combat Advantage, which means we'll go first.



Like I said before, this game is an SRPG, which means it's grid-based. Units can only move certain amount of spaces, each attack has a different range, you now the drill.

It's important to note that each unit can only face left or right. For example, since Punch can only hit 1 space in front, it can never hit units north/south of Douchebag.




I'm pretty sure that's not a punch...



Enemies follow the same rule. We can see the turn on the lower right and the combat forecast above the target(s). There's timed hits to increase damage dealt/decrease damage taken, but there's none of that in this tutorial.

Needless to say, these Moor Swarmers go down quickly. A neat thing is that most enemies get up and leave when defeated.


Moorish: We can't stop him! Ready the Guards of the Dark Court! *flees*

Wow! Did you see that? The King's amazing!
His powers are unparalleled!

Going closer to the keep...



We can't get past them, so we'll just punch them in the face.

Moorish: Hey what?! I'm supposed to go first.



Different move can have attributes. You can see the symbols under the move's name. The left symbol shows the move's knockback effect while the right symbol shows the recharge time. There's more symbols we'll see later, but they're all pretty intuitive.



Knockback knocks back ( ) the target. If the target hits another unit, they'll receive extra damage. If that second unit is an enemy, they'll also receive that extra damage. There's no friendly fire if that second unit is an ally, thankfullly.



Your butt needs to recharge, my King, but you can still punch 'em!

A recharge time of 1 means that move can be used again instantly, 2 means we can't use it for the next turn, 3 means we'll have to wait 2 turns, etc.

These mooks are called Great Bruisers and their only move is Great Axe, if you're wondering. Not that it matters since we'll never see them again.


Let's go. We've got to get inside Cartman's house.





Oh yeah? Why not?!

Moorish: (Left) Because everything in front of here is lava!

Oh, dude, no way. All that is lava?!

Moorish: Yup, everything from ehre to here is lava. You can't cross it!

*Both Moorish leave*



Come on, let's get inside!
We can't. They're saying everything in front of the door is lava.
Oh, that's not fair!
What do we do, my King?!







Getting ambushed is also a way to start a battle. It lets the opponents get the first turn instead.



The Moor Swarmers go down in 1 hit, thanks to knockback damage.

Wow, did he just fart on a dragon?
Heck yeah he did!



Get out of the way of the fire breath!
Don't end your turn where it's gonna hit you.

Some moves take a turn to activate. Obviously it's best to back off the area of effect and end turn without doing anything.

Hah, our King dodged it!

Moorish: Ah, dammit.

But let's be a rebel and NOT do that.



Oh no!

OUCH. Fortunately, it's still a tutorial where we literally can't die. Losing all our HP will just result in it all being restored immediately.

OK, if you get a fire breath attack, our King gets his Hammer of Heavenly Reign! You can't stop the Ki- CAR!
CAR!



I love this part. Even the music stops to appreciate it

Clear.





Sadly this is the only time we'll use the hammer. And the last time we'll use Douchebag's other moves, for that matter.







Moorish: No frickin' way. That kid's amazing!

*All the Moorish flee*

With the Dragon Tank defeated, it's time to enter the keep!



Oh wait there's Legos Lava. Oops

Oh well. The game makes checkpoints after every battle, so it's not too bad.


Maybe there's a way in through the garage, my lord.
If there is a way in through the garage, the King will find it!
Yes, only the King can find the secret way in through the garage. If... I mean if there is one. Yes, only the King with his infinite wisdom and strength can get past this impassable barrier.

Oh, Butters. Stop buttering me up



Objects with cracks can be punched. We also drag objects with gold handles.

Wow! King Douchebag is such a skillful warrior! Did you see how he moved that ladder and used it to climb up?
He truly is the most powerful king in all the realms.
Holy fuck, he's amazing.



OH SHIT A QUICKTIME EVENT!



I thought the king was going to do a sweet jump but then he just did that.



Welp. Let's try that again.



Better.



The wizard had it thrown into the ocean!
LIES! You shall feel the wrath of the Moorish!
Unhand him, you heathens!



The King!
They say he can slay a dragon with one blow!
That's right! ANd if you don't- Wait, wait, whoa... Where's the wizard?
I thought he was with you guys.
No, we got a distress signal to come help him here.



My name is The Coon. I'm from the future!
Dude, we said we're not playing that anymore.
Yeah, we're all split up. What's the point?



In my time there is a massive crime wave and missing cats! I know my only hope was to assemble the team.



Shut up, Kevin. This isn't about some dumb stick! There's a cat in trouble and it's the key to finding the crime syndicate new to our town! In the future.
Crime syndicate? That sounds too heavy for Coon and Friends.
Well, what do you want, Clyde?! You want the fucking Freedom Pals to find the missing cat, get the hundred dollar reward, and make their superhero franchise more popular?!
Fuck the Freedom Pals, dude.
That's right.



The Coon alert! Come on, Coon Friends, go get your stuff and report back to the Coon Lair! In the future!
COON AND FRIENDS, ASSEMBLE!



WELP. Looks like now we're just New Kid instead of King Douchebag



Well, nothing left to do but go home and play Star Trek Bridge Crew!
Nobody asked me if I wanted to play superheroes...
Wanna go play Star Trek? I'm Spock!
The longer you stand next to me, the more of a dork you become.
You're a dork, too?
I'm bummed. I was going to take up a trade, learn how to fletch arrows.
My parents don't believe in synthetic fabrics, so... Kind of rules out all the best superhero outfits.
I've been thinking about joining a gang. This might be just the kick in the pants I need.
We could all go to my house and sit around, staring dejectedly at our hands.
Maybe we can play our own game! Like...uh... Hmm... Oh, I don't know.



Oh, here's the inside of the Kupa Keep, I guess. Savor it, since we're never coming back here for the rest of the game.

Speaking of the game, it's Voting Time! What kind of hero should New Kid be? Your choices are Speedster, Brutalist and Blaster.