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Update 3: (Chapter 5)
Now, this is a story all about how,
my life got hit-crit upside down,
And I'd like to take a turn,
just sit right there,
I'll tell you what I did as the princess of a place called Renais.
In center Magvel born and raised
At the castle was where I spent most of my days,
Chillin' out, maxin' stats all cool,
And all swishin' some swords outside the court,
When a couple of guys who were up to no good,
Started making trouble in my neighborhood,
I got in one little fight and my friend's dad got scared,
He said:
"Princess Eirika!"
Wait, hold on, that's not right.
Your highness!
Huh, what?!
It's time for us to-
Yeah, yeah, whatever, you're, like, bumming on my style. It's uncool, dude.
why did it have to be me
Yeah, right, uh, FE8.
what kind of nerd doesn't play in detailed mode? I mean, what even
There's not much to show with the story, nothing got changed, though I'll highlight the big stuff. It's a cool story
As the map starts up, Josh here appears to hint at the arena showing up for the first time.
Josh is great btw
He then tries hitting on a priestess lady, and fails
He has no luck, poor guy.
Then Glen flies in and talks to the boss, gives him orders, whatever
Glen then tells his hardcore brother that he's not happy with all of this
And then we stop being psychic and join up with Princess Blue McGee again.
Security is low...
Seth wants us to keep everything on the down low, but as usual this doesn't happen.
Uh...
Hmph.
...As this guy immediately foreshadows something about a different purple haired girl despite having two of those on our team already.
They don't think the guy is a spy though, just weird.
Then, like something else happens regarding some different girl.
As it turns out, the priest lady from before was actually a spy. She doesn't have purple hair though.
She runs into us, she starts to yammer on about story stuff and then the guards see us,
And then it puts us in the battle. If you think I'm leaving Lute behind, you don't know just how wrong you are.
I have to drop Fox for this because the spy lady takes up a spot- the truth's not out there right now buddy, maybe next map.
Oh, right, her name's Natasha. Literally nothing about her changed in this hack
#024
That's not the kind of gains I mean-
Then we start the battle and Josh starts talking to a soldier and gets chewed out for being at the arena
Poor guy has no luck and just wants a friend, basically.
And then the spy lady mentions something about going to talk to him.
Now we can start the battle.
I spend the first turn just positioning everyone. Erika and Nat head for the center staircase, Neimi and 'Nessa lure in the spear guy on the side, and everyone else mostly just heads right.
Vanessa nearly wipes the soldier and-
Eirika clowns on the fighter though she does eat an arrow to the face. I forgot to screenshot that. Oopsies!
They move a few more units down, and when the turn ends these jerks show up.
So then I had to think about what to do next. There's a lot of damage stacked up on that side of the field.
While I was thinking about it, I had Neimi and Eirika continue doing their thing.
Oh, whoops, forgot to borrow Moulder's Heal staff.
I hope nobody was planning on having all those Mend charges
I send Vanessa to weaken the archer so Lute can take the kill but
this is ok
Arty and Lute team up on that one soldier who had the unfortunate idea to approach us.
Lute starts off strong
Ow, these jerks hit a lot harder than I remember
Nessie takes revenge for her fellow member of the short bangs club
Meanwhile, I stick Franz with his sword out to block the path, and bait one of the bandits in with a sneaky Ross in the trees.
Ross displays his smooth moves
This dude whiffs, but has great lower body strength. Franz still nearly KOs him without effort.
Neimi, as another member of the Short Bangs Club, takes out that soldier jerk
dont do this to me
Then Ross fails to hit the bandit Franz was punching on
Arty's here to pick up the slack though
Lute displays her combat superiority by hitting the bandit leader while he's in tree cover
Then Garcia takes out the last soldier with a handaxe, ready to counter the incoming archer
Oh, wait, heck
this might not go well
hrk
Well, uh, bye Franz
you were cool
Nah, he's good, I wouldn't let him down like that.
Nice dodge, buddy
did i do that right?
Meanwhile, an axe jerk moves in to corner Neimi-
ahahaha no
Wow, it worked!
'course it did, you're awesome
Garcia then mario jumps the archer who tried to hit Franz.
Lute and Ross gang up on the nerd
what are you doing
Nat already used her heal at some point this turn, so Franz drinks a cold one
These axe nerds keep going for Franzyboy
Just never learn
dude, where'd the horse's legs go
After creating a dimensional anomaly, Franz gets better at swording
Garcia and another fighter have a mutual understanding of axes, but Lute disagrees
Ross can't agree with it either and learns a bit more of the swole arts
Franz goes into that house, and Bob Hoskins gives us another weapon to punch the boss's face in with
Meanwhile Vanessa's been flying south to that one house I forgot to deal with
Pretty lady gives us a defense booster for it. I'll be nice and leave that for the next player since I'm such a goof I forgot about the Mend staff
Okay, so here's the dealio
In the normal US version, Josh won't attack spy lady, but he will in this one
I shoulda brought Gilliam for this, but then that'd be one less spot for girl squad and I can't have that
So I had to improvise a bit (ignore those bandit jerk reinforcements)
Awright, Blue, take one for the team
welp
ahaha, I'm genius
Spy girl, get in there
Josh is such a nice guy
Also Nat's actually Canadian, who knew
Such a good guy
i do
Then he flips a coin, music goes silent
Bam, we got'em
Uh, stat-wise the only difference is he has a 5% better STR growth, but I mean who's complaining
josh is so cool
Don't believe me? Just watch
Easy every time
Anyway, I send Blue on up to clown on the other jerk
hrk
Okay, maybe I need to send backup
Thanks Franz!
Thanks again!
Remember Neimi? I sent her to go check that other house and an old guy yelled at her before giving her a book
You know, now that I think about it, Franz could be in a little bit of trouble
Nah, he good
This girl lifts
Uh, sure, Blue, just kick back a cold one, it's all good
Stop with your reinforcements already, pleeease
Well at least this nerd attacks who I wanted him to. Vanessa makes this guy look like a chump
Franz and Garcia hold the line
Lute begins the assault on our last foes
What are the chances on this
somebody get a referee
Josh cleans out another jerk for us, what a guy
Ross and Lute team up on this one dude
Arty gets that one spear dude off of Vanessa
aw yeah
All that's left is that archer, merc, and the big bad
Vanessa goes shopping~!
I go ahead and buy a Torch staff for Ch6, you can thank me later
...actually no, thank me now
(I bought a Fire book for Lute too, cuz she's my favorite, shh)
Josh distracts the sword guy for us. What a hero
Blue slips by into the house and gets us a normal torch
yw btw
Look at this girl gettin' better
Short bangs club really pullin' through
I think about those sick gains, but this is an Ironman, so...
Weapon store's not that interesting, really. If anyone wants to buy from it, that's on you
Listen here, you creep
Lute tears this guy a new one
though it hurts a lot too
I heal her up with Nat, but there's that archer still on the other side of the map, so I have Ross move her out of counter range
Blue's no Lute, but she's still chumping these nerds
'Nessa and Blue finish up on the left, and she gives me whatever this is
I guess Res is good but what about the sick gains
don't do this to me again, Blue
Arty's been pretty reliable of late so I hand him the final hit on the boss
how could you
just break my heart why dont you
Anywho, that was that, now spy lady tells use what she knows
She, like, tells us some pretty bad stuff, and we don't wanna believe it.
Then Eirika starts talking about the kingdom and her rad brother again with Bob Hoskins
or is it Lou Albano, I can never remember
Then we get a promote ring for Lute
I swear if you don't use it on her after all I've done
Aw heck, wait this means I gotta do the fog map
curses
Oh, wait, no, right we go play fantasy Rambo now
Mom, hold on, no
I gotta do this next update
no, Mooom
Moooom, I can clean my room some other time
gosh darn it, I'll, uh, like, finish this some other time
sry dudettes