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Chapter 8: 4/12-4/13: Friends (With Benefits) (New)

This update covers Part 7 of the original LP.

Music: Will Power


It seems Kamoshida, reeling from the last embarrassment, has specced fully into horsecraft. ...What? You’re saying horsecraft isn’t a word? Well, shut up. My point is, get some real infantry to back up your mobile equestrian units or you’re gonna be screwed in the midgame. Probably. I don’t actually like playing military civs so I wouldn’t know.

These guys go down quickly enough.

So why… have I lost!?

I mean, that’s a pretty good question. You seemed like you were gonna be pretty tough on your own, and just a couple of your buddies there were enough to lay out the others in like, two hits each. You had us screwed there.
Dead to rights.
Pretty much. But now we’re taking them down effortlessly.
Well, they were weak to your only skill… but it seems like they were less trouble even besides that.
Clearly, the lesson here is that I am amazing and just having me around made them so afraid they shit themselves to death.
Hey, wait a—
Makes sense to me.

And me!

Music: Disquiet

Whoa… So Ryuji had the potential too…

I’m sensing a pattern here. Note to self: recruit a team of teenagers with attitude.
Hey, Kamoshida, guess what?
Huh? What?
I’m gonna kick your ass.
Nuh-uh! This is *my* house and my mom says you have to listen to *me*!


My primal sexual desire that was sealed away has been awakened by the sight of this catgirl. I am now horny forever.

Make sure when you place the lovingly-rendered ass of the 17-year-old girl onscreen that you frame it according to the Rule of Thirds. We’re not cavemen.


Gross, dude! Let her go!
Again. Not real. Dumbass.
Are you jealous?
For the sake of our sanities, I’m going to suggest we collectively put aside the implications of a student appearing dressed and acting like this inside of a teacher’s mind and unpack it at a later date.
Anyway, enough of this nonsense. Let’s see how you deal with…

…three *more* guys! I know you just took down a different three guys, but this has to work eventually!

We’re actually not? It’s three on three. Like, yeah, there’s King Kamoshida and Cognitive Ann, but we’ve seen nothing *cough* at this point in time *cough* to suggest either of them has any combat ability whatsoever. Hell, in the cell yesterday Shadow Kamoshida actively cowered and hid when he didn’t have backup. I’d buy that Morgana knows that Shadows can go berserk, but we’re actually like two in-game days away from him just straight-up admitting he has no idea what he’s doing and his knowledge of the Metaverse is near-entirely theoretical. Which is hilarious, by the way. Morgana’s not even very good at being an exposition dump.

Fine. We’ll be back to deal with you, asshole!
Oh yeah? Fuckin’ do it, bitch! Those other two times were just flukes, I’ll get you next time!

Okay, clearly Eligors aren’t going to be enough. Let’s get some fuckin’ *Archangels* up in here, that’ll do it! And you know what? Belphegor! That guy owes me a favor anyway, the toilet was a wedding gift.

Oh, what the hell? Now I’m wearing a weird costume! Is it like a disease!?

I told you before. When a Persona-user opposes a Palace’s ruler and becomes a threat to them, this happens. It’s to prevent you from being affected by distortions.

What does that even mean? What’s a “distortion”?
You guys were really something in there, I tell you what.
You didn’t answer my—
Uhhh… well, it’s really rather simple. If you don’t get it by now, there’s simply no hope for you. Quick thinking, Morgana! Nice!
Whatever… Aren’t we screwed though when we get back to the real school?
Nope! He can’t possibly know about what happens here! *Maybe* a Palace-holder could potentially be strong enough that they’d gain some level of awareness of their Palace, but that would be craaaaaaazy. They’d have to be on another level!
*whistling futurely*
Anyway, you guys owe me now, and I’m looking to collect. Next stop: Mementos and my true form!
What is “Mementos” and why did I develop a sudden rash when I heard you say it? It’s like my skin is trying to escape the prison of my flesh. It has seen the future, or maybe simply remembered it, and wants no part of what is to come. It would consign the rest of me to the depths to save itself from the torment that lies ahead.

Whoa, hold up. What’re you goin’ on and on about? We never said anything about helpin’ you out.

Music: My Homie

Wait, what? Are you *seriously* gonna ditch me after everything I did for you!?
Uhhhhh… yes.


And so our heroes run away instead of repaying someone for their help.

Come back here! I’m so mad I forgot how to see! Put your eyes in front of my very human claws and let me scratch them out!

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)

Well, that sucked. I’m so tired…
Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who got headbutted into near-unconsciousness.
But man, Kamoshida’s screwed once we find the slaves from the castle. We’re gonna make them admit what he’s been doing. Wanna help?
I sense from your use of the word “we” that you’re just going to nag me into helping… but sure. Laying low is boring anyway.
You’ve got something on the line here too. The only person who could have leaked your record could’ve been a teacher, and the only one who would’ve done that would be Kamoshida.
I know I’ve only been going to school here for 1.5 days, but I’m not exactly sure this school’s teaching staff is hard up for complete sadists to the point that you could so definitively say it was him. Though given everything else we’ve seen, I guess I buy it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a student or a club; that asshole just wrecks things he doesn’t agree with. Just like he did with me!

No one else will listen to me, but I’ve seen too much in Kamoshida’s heart to ignore. You too, right? We’re in this together.
I’m in.

I’m countin’ on you! Don’t worry—I’m hyped about this too!
I can sense a bond of trust coming from Ryuji…

Music: Interrogation Room

Did you have *friends*? Did they help you do Phantom Thieves business? Or really, just in general? What’s that like? I wouldn’t know, the closest thing I have to a friend is a 17-year-old boy. Not you, a different one. We don’t actually get along very well, though. Is having friends nice? Sounds kind of annoying to me. Tell me everything.

Music: The Spirit

Music: Break it Down

I’m hungry. Let’s go grab a bite while I grill you about your criminal record.
Ah, jeez.

WHAT!? The hell, man! How much shittier can that asshole get!?

Please stop yelling and cursing, I’d like to at least finish my meal before this place bans me forever.
So, that’s your story… How did your parents respond? You didn’t really mention them but the fact that you’re here instead of there seems kinda telling.
Yeah, I guess I didn’t really make it clear what their roles in all this were, if any.
Just saying they don’t exactly seem like the best people if they managed to make themselves totally irrelevant to your retelling here.
I definitely understand why you think that.
...Am I *wrong* to think that?
Presumably not!
…… Well, whatever.

We might be more alike than I originally thought.

I don’t got a record like you do.

Uh, okay. Rude.

I mean, that’s not the point.

We’re outcasts, man. That’s all I’m trying to say.
Yeah, I get it. Just not used to it.
Anyway, you barely touched your food! Eat up, man! *shovels meat into Maaku’s bowl* It’s on me. We need to have each other’s backs, especially with this Kamoshida deal. Also, give me your number and chat ID, we need to stay in touch!

Just you wait, Kamoshida…

Remember, we got the volleyball rally tomorrow. It’s just another way for Kamoshida to stroke his ego, but we can use the free time to try to find the players who were slaves in the castle.
Got it.

*heaps yet more meat into Maaku’s bowl*

I’m beginning to suspect that my bowl is a portal to the Vomit Dimension…

Oh hey! New scene time!


Oh hey, it’s Best Friends™ Akechi and Sae!

That was… that was the whole thing. That was all the new content in this update. …Yep.

I-I haven’t been sleeping well lately… Whenever I close my eyes, I keep thinking about too many things…

Music: Confession/Secret

God, I’m so worthless… I don’t deserve my position… I’m just going to be dead weight for the rest of the team working toward nationals…
Just believe in yourself! You work so hard!

Yeah… Volleyball’s all I have, after all.
More importantly, was that injury okay? It looked really swollen.
No, it’s nothing. It’s normal… especially since a meet’s coming up…

Shiho just expelling red flags right now at rates previously unseen by humankind. Mads Mikkelsen’s Hannibal from the acclaimed series Hannibal was more subtle than this. Hell, Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lecter was more subtle than this.

Suzui… Mr. Kamoshida wants to see you.
Huh? Why?

He didn’t say…

Please just do it.

Ann, I…

We’re seeing something interesting developing here on the field… Shiho goes with the Desperate Cry For Help, let’s see how Ann responds…

It’ll be fine! I bet it’s a meetup about the starting lineup or something.

And it falls completely flat! Bounces right off Ann’s thick skull, that’s gotta sting for Suzui!

…Yeah, I bet. Thanks, Ann. I better go.

Yup. Good luck!

Don’t worry, Shiho. I’ll support you by leading on Mr. Kamoshida in exchange for your position, which is the one and only threat you face from him, and also will not in any way backfire on you. This is a very smart plan.

After School → Evening

It was “After School” for a really long time there!

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)

…You’re home. I take it you actually went to school today?

Rhetorical! Just stay out of trouble. You’re already under a lot of scrutiny, you know.
*sweating* Got it. Avoid getting roped into the unpopular kid’s grudge against a popular teacher. Way ahead of you.

Oh dear, reading… better turn on text-to-speech…

Can you see this?

I will answer honestly, using ~Speech Recognition Software~!

You SO can!

Why must life be cruel?
Anyway, just wanted to check in. We’re gonna bust some heads tomorrow!
What was that!?
You misheard.
Note to self: get some headphones.

Sheesh, are you even listening to me? Just stay away from bad influences, okay?

Anyway, I’m heading home. I’ll lock up, but don’t go wandering outside.

Now I have one. Is that bad? Should I go get tested?
Probably. But there’s no way to get rid of it.
Creepy. But I guess we can use it to go to the Palace… Right now though we just need to find evidence.

Music: Aria of the Soul

Ah man, I hate this place, nobody talks normally her—I mean, hello.

Welcome to the Velvet Room.

No, my Guts needs to be at least Bold to say that…

God dammit, stop teasing me game.

I mean, I guess. If I’m too chickenshit to say anything else.

Ah, glad to hear it. It seems you have nerves of steel.

Mother*fucker*! Are you making fun of me!?
You need rehabilitation, yes, yes, we’ve been over that part, averting ruin, yes… ah! Here we go! You need comrades to help you. You found someone today who fit that role nicely, no?
We gotta talk about that, man. Ryuji’s *my* friend, not yours. Unless you’re giving him this whole spiel too? Kinda doubt that. Anyway, it’s weird that you’re giving him gifts. Like, the power to travel into a world of human cognition? Just saying, you don’t really know him very well.

Involving yourself with others is an important foundation for your recovery. You’ve done well.

Just keep it reasonable, okay? You’re not gonna get some great bonus for saying “Thank you” to your bus driver. That’s just common courtesy. It needs to be deeper than that, a relationship where they will help and watch out for you.

In other words, they are bonds with those who have been robbed of their places to belong.

Just laying out the thematic connection between all the Confidants, huh? Sure, okay.

It may shock you, but forming relationships with other people will help you develop as a person.
But also develop like, get sick new powers and shit right?
I mean… sure?

Personas are the strength of heart… The stronger the bonds that surround you, the more power your Personas will gain.

Okay, cool. I’ll do it. Wait, Personas? With an s?
Moving on! Justine, you gave it away! Basically, you’re the king of the trash boys. Make friends with people who suck less and maybe it’ll rub off on you.
Let’s use myself as an example to start out.
Our master has taken pity on you! He has recognized that you’re doomed without his help! You’d better thank him!
I’d better accept this deal so that the tiny ones stop yelling at me…
You must have gotten a lot of sleep since you started work as a Phantom Thief. Maybe there was even someone on the inside helping you. Tell me the name of your contact in the dream world!

Music: The Spirit

Music: Aria of the Soul

Well, you will understand it all in due time… Continue devoting yourself to your rehabilitation.

Stop fucking saying thaaaa—

Early Morning

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)

(Dissatisfied First-Year) And why are they pitting us against the teacher team? Kamoshida’s gonna crush us.
(Bandwagoning First-Year) We get to see his technique live and in person, though. We should totally get spiked on!
Yeah, okay. You’re gonna get your face smashed in. Just look at how banged up the volleyball team is. What the hell goes on during their practices?

Okay, this is gonna be a weird digression, but I just have to get it off my chest: They voiced this scene in Royal when it wasn’t previously, and I’m like, 98% sure both students here are Yuri Lowenthal. It’s fucking surreal. And I’m honestly at the point where I’m in full Charlie, Pepe Silvia mode in regards to why. The localization team must have known that these lines went together, right? So, it’s probably like, a weird joke? But they’re barely even appreciably different voices! Even if you don’t have a trained ear for voice actors, you can probably tell that one of them is Yuri doing his Simon voice from Gurren Lagann, and the other is him with a head cold. It’s just so distracting. I feel like I’m losing my mind!

Also the actual conversation is kind of bizarre, but who cares? I have voice actor detective work to do!

Early Morning → Morning

Music: So Boring

I know it’s been like, less than a week since the school year started, but we’re doing a volleyball rally. I say “rally,” but it’s really just going to be Mr. Kamoshida and the rest of the teachers dunking you into oblivion.
That’s not even the right sport!
Look, man, I’m not participating, I’m going to hide in a closet and take a nap. Leave me alone.

Video: Volleyball

Hey Mishima, check this out!

Kamoshida acts apologetic for the board-mandated 2.8 seconds before moving on.

Morning → Afternoon

Music: Tokyo Emergency

All he’s doing is jerking himself off over how great he is. He even found a way to hurt Mishima from across the room! We need to find the slaves and get them to confess! I still remember their faces, after all.

I’ll be sure to find someone to spill about Kamoshida’s physical abuse. Just you wait, asshole.

Where are we starting?
The first guy I remember was someone from your class, 2D. Let’s start there.

Hopefully you can get him to talk without any issues. People have been avoidin’ me lately, so… Oh, but you’re kinda in the same boat, huh.

So this might be boned from the start. Great.

Oh no, not drugs!

There was a casualty and everything!

God, these rumors.

I can’t… Every time I try to look into them, the higher-ups of our school pressure me out of it.
The hell!? So Kamoshida’s pullin’ strings behind the scenes?
…Can we stop this? I’d rather not get in trouble for talking to you guys…

Newspaper Club Member nooooooo

Tch, fine…

Are you skipping out on the volleyball rally? I guess I expect it from you, transfer.

Wait, what? There’s tons of students in the hallway. Clearly this rally works via rotating students in and out of the gym in some fashion. Hell, if we’re not supposed to be here, what are you doing here?

Hey, that’s the guy who was over at the castle.

Sakamoto too? If you guys are here to beat me up, it’s pretty obvious someone already beat you to it. Wait, I mean, I tripped and fell. That’s the reason my eye is swollen shut.
Fess up, man. We know Kamoshida’s been abusing you.
Oh yeah? You can prove this?
That’s what I thought. Just leave me alone.

Let’s split up and cover more ground.
Gotcha. I’ll check the practice building. You stay over here. The next one I remember is a third-year, so check the first floor.

(Thin-Browed Student) But she just shot him down. She’s so uptight.
(Duck-Faced Student) (Yes, really) She’s probably had a bunch of boyfriends. I think the popularity went to her head.
And she’s looking down on us other girls, right? As to be expected from a foreigner…

This moment is so weird because it’s the only time I can think of in the entire game where anyone does a racism against Ann. Other than this, it’s all “Oh, she’s half-white, she’s an otherworldly immaculate beauty who will dethrone God himself, make your offerings now before she decides to cast those who have displeased her into the inferno!” whenever anyone brings her race up.

What is it…? I’ll tell on you if you try and do something to me.

I come from a long line of snitches, I’ll have you know!

Er… well… I dunno… Just please don’t hurt me…

I guess we took too long, because Ryuji chooses this moment to text us.

Nope. Wonder if we can track down some third-years and ask them? I don’t see any on my end, so check around where you are!

(Bored Female Student) She used to be a lot happier when we were first-years. Plus those bruises… I think she’s in trouble.
(Resting Female Student) She’s trying to become a volleyball starter, isn’t she? I heard she takes private lessons with Mr. Kamoshida every day. Apparently she’s been a really good player ever since she was in middle school. Anyway, acting sad like that while keeping Mr. Kamoshida to herself is kinda arrogant, don’t you think?

What the fuck is wrong with this school

Those rumors about the transfer student in your class are nuts, aren’t they? Someone tried to tell me he kicked a guy so hard he saw the curvature of the earth. It must be hard for him given how out of hand it’s getting…
You’re so thoughtful, Shiho.

Here’s the guy we’re looking for.

But not as much of a pain as *eavesdroppers.*
Sounds like my cue! Hello, are you being abused by Mr. Kamoshida?
Bite me.
Noted. I’ll leave you alone now.

>Goose egg.
Yeah, same. One more lead, though. A first-year. Just joined the team, so we might be able to pull him out of the cult of Kamoshida.

“True freedom lies within the constructs of society.”

That’s the most depressing shit I’ve ever read.

Huh? Y-Yeah… I’m on the volleyball team. Whaddya want?

Ryuji, maybe we didn’t need to rely on your memory for this and instead just questioned one of the several people on the volleyball team with serious head wounds. Every single person you found fits that criteria anyway. On that note, Kamoshida sure isn’t making this subtle. He’s practically flaunting it.

Look, man. Is Kamoshida abusing you? Please just tell me the truth.
Who told you that? Did Mishima say it? Goddamn nerd…
Kamoshida. Abuse. Yes or no?
Yeah… thought as much.
Volleyball thing is over. Go home.

Ugh. Let’s meet up in the courtyard.

Afternoon → After School

Music: Disquiet

So, what’s your deal? You lied about why you were late the other day. Do you really have a record?

Two things: First, love that Ann and Shiho’s conversation about the troublesome rumors that probably aren’t true leads to Ann just straight-up asking if they’re true. Second, I have no idea why the game makes Ann so weird about the tardiness lie. It affects nothing. It’d be one thing if she just scoffed or made some sarcastic crack under her breath, but stuff like this makes it seem like she’s legitimately bothered by it? It has nothing to do with the rest of her character either, I don’t get it at all unless it has something to do with us witnessing her with Kamoshida… but the game never makes it clear why specifically she would have a problem with us seeing that either.

…We just happened to get to know each other.

Whatever. Just don’t mess with Mr. Kamoshida.
Huh!? Oh, I get it, you don’t want us screwing with him. That’s your job, ain’t it? Trust us: if you knew what he was doing, you’d dump him in a heartbeat.
…Ugh. It doesn’t matter. Whatever you two are planning—thumbtack on the chair, pie to the face, massive swinging wooden log—drop it. None of this is your business, and no one’s going to help you. That’s all I came to say, and I’m saying it as a courtesy. Back off, Sakamoto.

Why’s she gotta be so aggressive all the time?

It seemed like there was a bit of a history there.

We just went to the same middle school.

But enough of that. Did you find anything else out? Even one name that can help us, anything?
Someone mentioned a “Nishima.” But I don’t know anyone by that name…
Mishima? Isn’t he in your class? Besides, we just talked about him earlier today! He’s the one who got spiked on by Kamoshida!
…Who? Man, I can barely remember your name.
It doesn’t matter. Mishima is on the volleyball team, and he’s always covered in bruises. Let’s hurry and find him before he leaves school.
Got it. Let’s go, Ryoji.

Hey, wait up!
Huh? What is it?
Hello good sir, just a moment of your time. We are conducting a survey and one lucky respondent will receive a 2000 yen gift card. Now, first question: Is Mr. Kamoshida abusing you?
N-No way!
He spiked you in the face, dude.
I’m just bad. I deserved it for being bad. I gotta improve at volleyball if I don’t want that to happen again…
And all the other bruises *everywhere else on your body*?
Practice. All from practice.
Just spill it. Is he making you keep quiet?

Mishima, isn’t it time for practice?

Sorry, sir, I’m just not feeling well. I’ve got a headache and the room is still spinning after you spik—I mean, after that accident in the gym.
Fine. Maybe you should just quit then. You’re not much good at volleyball anyway, and if you won’t even show up to practice…

Didn’t you hear? He ain’t feelin’ well!

Can someone turn down the lights? It’s so bright in here…
It’s Mishima’s decision. It’s his *future* on the line, after all. You coming?

…I’ll go.

As for you two, any trouble and you’re both gone. Just give me an excuse. Especially you, transfer. Weren’t you told not to make waves?

Hmph. We have to get to practice now. Don’t go alarming the student body with any more absurd rumors.
Oh, that’s rich.
Rumors? This fucking guy. Unbelievable.
Students like you have no right to attend a respectable place like Shujin. C’mon, Mishima.

That asshole... He’s gonna pay for this!

What the hell are you talking about, you idiot? You think that the school doesn’t know? That our *parents* don’t know? We tried to stop this already. And then we failed, and then we suffered. You’re not gonna come in here and fucking solve this with “proof.” You’re just gonna make it worse for those of us that have to live in it. Back off.


Is that it? Are we screwed?
No… I can’t give up. Not yet. I’ll try one more time to convince the players… It’s all I can do.

After School → Evening

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)

I just can’t believe that it seems like everybody important knows about the abuse and nobody cares.
>Capitalism has trained us to value only results. Kamoshida gets results, therefore he is just. Stories like this are all too commonplace. We must dismantle the system.
For real though, it pisses me off that Takamaki is standing up for him. Ugh! Tomorrow, we’re gonna find something, anything to destroy Kamoshida! Just you wait!

Line Changes!!!

In the Velvet Room on the night of 4/12, Igor’s line “Your rehabilitation determines if ruin can be stopped. Yet, such a feat cannot be done by you alone.” has turned into “The goal of your rehabilitation is to thwart the coming ruin. However, such a feat cannot be done by you alone.”