Off-site Screenshot test poster

Bebe, honey, you know the costume we're wearing is the one YOU SOLD, right? If it sucks, then we know who to blame

Can't go any further to the west from the school, but we can go to the church which is just to the north of the school (and west of the police station).

Video: Priests

come at a crucial time. South Park is sliding into moral decline! Someone's stealing our cats! They're TPing houses!

At least Covid stops people from TPing houses

OK, maybe it's not full-on Armageddon yet, but we do need a hero. Not to make a hard sell, but...do you see yourself as a good person? Well, I can understand the confusion. But there comes a time when we need to choose our path. WIll you find Jesus and take the righteous path? Or maybe you'll walk the middle way? Let's not talk about the third alternative - I'm hoping you're part of the solution, not the problem.

chamber which will allow you to confront your deepest fears... Face your fears, New Child. Face your fears!

Your dad fucked your mom...

You afraid of the dark? Snakes? The color blue?

These two dialogues are heard without anyone actually speaking them. It's obvious who the voices belong to, though. Clyde's line makes more sense if we've seen him in Raisins.

No comment.

McManus: priest who would like to get to know you a little better.

Handsley: about to give you a shoulder rub... Ever imagine you'd feel something like this?
McManus: Let me adjust the lighting in here a bit so we can get some visuals with that...

...Yup. No comment needed except for the music. It's one that wouldn't be out of place in a porn flick

The bald one is Father McManus wile the other one is Father Handsley.

Handsley: Oh, I guess this one likes it rough.
McManus: No complaints here!

Handsley: If someone doesn't do something quick I'm gonna start tickling kids!

Both priests attack with telegraphed attack, with Buttlord sandwiched between their turns.

Handsley: Promise not to tell!

Hug Thy Father inflicts Gross Out, as you might expect. Also, McManus' is currently slapping himself in the face with anal beads

Whoa that priest likes kids a whole lot. You don't wanna get caught in his hug! You might really need a towel then.

I don't think a towel would be enough...

McManus: One thing they don't teach you in seminary is how much

I remembered incorrectly; Coon Cake is enough to restore almost half of our HP right now. It's going to be obsolete very soon.

Mutual Flagellation also inflicts Gross Out. If we don't do anything, Buttlord will die from Gross Out.

Oh yeah, not all telegraphed attacks can friendly fire; McManus doesn't hit Handsley in this case.

Handsley: Almost ready to cover you in God's love!

Remember that Antidote clears all bad status effects, give Regeneration (restores HP every turn), AND heals a bit of HP! It's very useful.

McManus: God's grace is...totally filling me.

Handsley: What the devil... Vanished into thin air!

Handsley: Oh my!

McManus: Don't you want to go to Heaven with me?

Handsley: Almost ready to cover you in God's love!

McManus: I've got God's love here, who am I gonna give it to?

McManus: We were hoping you'd welcome this chance to atone...

McManus: Come out, come out, wherever you are!

McManus: Oh, I guess you wanna do it the hard way.

McManus: All of God's children are deserving of his love, so just hold still-

McManus: Oh my!

McManus: Here little kiddie! Come out and play!

This battle is actually a very easy. It's pretty much another tutorial on telegraphed attacks.

two minutes without you bastards showing up! You're definitely going to hell. Now, get out of here!
McManus: That's not what the Queen Spider says.
Handsley: I'll go say ten Male Hairies.

*McManus and Handsley leave*

Well, gosh, I feel just awful about all that. Tell you what,

of trouble and tribulation, use it to call upon the prophet Moses. Good luck on your spiritual journey, my child.

At least we got out first summon

And we also got another macaroni that we can use to craft a Macaroni Picture

Summons can still be used only once per battle, but in this game they can be used more than once each day. They can even be used on boss battles. The tradeoff is that there's a limited number of them in the entire game. This summon has limited macaroni and all the others' items are given automatically with no other way to get them.

At least, that's the case before DLC was released. A challenge DLC gives a key item that lets us buy those summon items without any limit. That key item carries over to other files and I already got it from the toybox in our room. Yes, we could've bought this and all other summon items already from the Coon Store

I'll be in touch soon, when you're ready to take the next step.

Patience, child. God's plan for you will be revealed in time. Heck, it's probably already on GameFAQs.

Do you mind, New Child, I'm chit-chatting with the Lord here.

Go with God, New Child. He will guide your blessed behind as you seek to fart-out evil.

'Member when Morgan Freeman was God?

Oh, yeah! I 'member!

Member when Christians cared about the sick and the poor?

Sure I 'member!

The left door is locked, so we'll just rummage through the right door.

I am not surprised that the Holy Bible is a scrap

Well that's convenient. And nowhere near as painful too look at as Cartman's journal, too.

Now we can get the yaoi that's been on the background during that entire priests battle

Also for some reason a Monogrammed Holy Bible gives 10 times as many scraps. Not gonna complain though.

stuff happening here. I've got a super secret mission for you. Head over to the new taco shop on Main Street and...buy me a taco. COON OUT.

Yeah, yeah, we'll do that later. For now, it's ~~kite~~ ~~Kyle~~ Clyde time.

This alley is the one mentioned by Fastpass 2 updates ago, and it's currently our only way of getting to Raisins.

Oh look, the Taco Bell reconstruction is still ongoing. And yes, that toilet is usable

Raisins is to the west. We could go east, but I'm going to save that area for a later day.

Oh look, fried chicken! I'm craving for some, so let's...

I 'member, I loved their space monkey.

Yeah, 'member? Member that?

Member when Wonder Woman had an invisible jet?

Oh, I 'member that!

So Mermaid Man's Invisible Boat Mobile isn't original?

in there but do not be tempted by their amazing wings and hot bitches.

We can't go further to the west, so Raisins it is.

Well, come right on over here, cutie!

I bet I could put away more Buffalo Bombs than you.

You're not as cool as me, vigilante. My waitress said so.

You keep away from Mercedes, she's mine.

[Selfie] Sorry, I only follow Psychic superheroes.

The waitress told me I'm the only customer here who isn't lame.

[Selfie] Sorry I'm only into Brutalist superheroes.

I'll be right with you, honey.

Are you having fun yet, cutie-pie?

[Selfie] yeah, I only selfie with Karate Kid superheroes who tip well!

[Selfie] Nuh uh, kid. I only follow Cyborg superheroes. It's my thing.

Seat's taken.

Uh-oh, here comes trouble.

Who are you supposed to be again?

Go away. I could get grounded talking to you.

I kinda miss the old days when we had naptime. Naptime was nice.

Girls would dig me if I learned an instrument. The oboe seems cool.

[Selfie] Oh, sorry, I only follow Elementalist superheroes.

Do I know you from somewhere?

Uh, I didn't come to Raisins to chat with weirdoes.

Looking for a place to sit? It's not here.

Go away before the girls think we know each other.

Maybe all the cats migrated south or something. Do they do that?

[Selfie] Yeah, I only take selfies with Assassin superheroes. It's my thing.

I'm sure you've noticed the theme with the selfies in this place. And the theme with this place in general.

Waitress: (Black) He sure can eat a lot of wings!

Hahahah... Yeah, so then I flew into the sky and I beat up all the bad guys.
Waitress: (Brown) Wow! I didn't know mosquitoes could be so tough.

Yeah well, ever heard of the Zika virus?

Sure, just put 'em on my tab.

Big spender... *leaves*

are YOU? Super...wait...oh my god! The mission! My fellow superheroes! I've completely forgot!

Waitress: (Black) Uh, what are you talking about, kid?

Raisins Girls are Mosquito's Kryptonite! You gotta get me outta here!

HA HA! I think not! You tried to CHARM me. I will not pay this bill!
Waitress: (Orange) You have to leave a tip, asswipe!

They aren't going to let us go without a fight, kid! Let's do this!

So we're commiting crime and beating up girls. We're the good guys!

Oh, if you're wondering about how I'll handle party members: it'll take forever if we hold a vote before every battle, so I'll just decide them on a whim.

Mosquito is coming with us!

These Raisins Girls actually have names instead of just classes. In order from the top, they're Porsche, Mercedes, Ferrari and Lexus.

I can't leave now, I got a pitcher of lemonade on the way!
Ferrari: Welcome to the team! You're gonna need a total makeover.

Knock some sense into Mosquito. That'll snap him out of it!

I feel so...tingly.

Dammit, Clyde! I'm gonna knock some sense into you!

Nice hit, sweetie! You're so strong!

Zika Rush: Applies Lifesteal via fly-by rush

Charm makes the someone get treated as if they're the opposing team. This means that Mosquito will attack us, he can't get attacked by the Raisins Girls, and he can get attacked by us. Getting attacked instantly dispels Charm instead of having to wait for 2 turns. However, Mosquito is very fragile and one attack from Super Craig will leave him almost dead.

Lifesteal heals the attacker the same amount of damage dealt. It'll be more useful if Mosquito isn't so fragile.

I'll admit, an order of wings sounds good...

This is a situation where Antidotes can be very useful.

Time to shoot the lasers.

Excellent stare tactics, Human Kite!

Order up, cuties!

Oh my god! I chipped my nail polish!

Only Mercedes can cause Charm (right now) with Favorite Customer, but the rest are no slouch either. French Manicure took out almost half of Super Craig's health and he's the one with highest HP in our team

Ferrari: I'm so glad you guys are here!

Who needs to get punched the most?

Here's another noticeable difference with Super Craig's charge: it can only hit one enemy while the others can hit everyone in their path. It inflicts Knockback, so the damage to that one enemy is actually higher in comparison.

I have had it with this shit.

Knocked them into the bleachers!

Here for an ass-kicking? I'll put that order right in now.

Thankfully, Favorite Customer needs a turn to recharge, so at least we have a breather.

Ferrari: Uh, I don't feel right.

Skeeter Swarm: Gross Out nearby foes, gain Attack Up [Atk ↑] [Gross Out]

Fun fact: this is the only attack that inflicts Gross Out within all our party members. Buttlord can also inflict it with her super, at least.

Go nuts, New Kid.

Yeah I saw that comin'.

Oh, I'm up? OK.

Enemy down!

Hey, guys! Are we having fun yet?

I can't even think about Zingy Tingy Wings right now.

Put this on your Coonstagram.

You cuties are such meanies!

Everybody good here? Great.

Oh great, another O negative.

Bug Bite barrage: Inflict Lifesteal by feeding on a foe.

You can see that all of Mosquito's attacks put him on the front lines. he's kind of a hard character to use, but this game is easy enough to make everyone viable.

Also, blood type O- isn't common. In fact, the Rh- blood types are all rare. According to Wikipedia, in some countries all of them combined don't even reach 1% of the population

You're up, AssBlaster.

You know, we've been talking about charge ranges, but now let's talk about super ranges. Backfire Blast has a very awkward range and sometimes there'll be this kind of situation where you can hit one but not the other.

...Not that I'm going to use it either way. We haven't seen Mosquito's, after all.

Feeling kind of wrathy right now, I won't lie.

See above.

So what can I get you?

That's part of my pageant choreo.

Oh yeah, we haven't seen Zingy Tingy Elbow either. It would drop Super Craig to 1 health if it weren't for Blocking

Oh, is this my turn already? OK.

I'm gonna show you how we put the double whammy in our double whammy wings.

Seriouslly, guys, the wings are really good.

Leave the love of my life alone, guys!

You know what? Never mind Mosquito's super; I'm not wasting another Antidote. You can see why I'm vetoing Raisins Girls from the vote.

...shit.

At least Wrath of Kite's range is very reliable.

I wanted to order a lemonade but I guess it's too late.

That's a kiting.

saved me just in time! I am forever in your debt Butt...Hero. What is YOUR Kryptonite?

About that...

Dude, you can't be a superhero without something that you're powerless against. Any particular phobias? Any emotional hang-ups? I mean, come on, there's gotta be something... Look, it's OK, I'm on your team, Butt...Kid. You can tell me. All right, all right, lemme see your character sheet.

You don't like little kids. Or maybe you don't like Butters? Either way, cool.

Why would we ever hate Butters?

Sixth Graders

Seriously, I think some of those brutes are already growing mustaches.

Raisins Girls

Raisins Girls, those wanton temptresses. No arguments from me.

Old People

Yeah, old people can be so gross with their wrinkles and wisdom. Check!

Ninja

More of a samurai guy, huh?

Vampires

They seem more annoying than scary, but this is your thing.

Crab People

Taste like crab and look like people. Want to overthrow mankind. Those guys.

Unlike our gender, this can't be changed. I heard that we take more damage from our kryptonite, but I can't confirm it. There's another gameplay change, but that's not coming anytime soon (and by the time it comes, you'll probably have forgotten all about this).

Oh yeah, we were supposed to also become Neutral. I could've sworn we'd have to choose our alignment at the church, but guess not

Great! Job done. Your Kryptonite is officially noted. Now Mosquito must be off! Call on me if you should need me, Coon Friend!