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Hello everyone and welcome back. Today we tackle the first of many, many dungeons in this game.
I've got plans for the update, and the people who are gonna be helping aren't quite ready yet. So I'm gonna, instead, do a couple sidequests. They're not worth showing off because they're kinda generic, but they have decent rewards!
The guy sent us to talk to a miqo'te who shouted something incoherent at us and ran off.
She then sics a mercenary on us.
A generic quest. So why did we do it? For these two here. You see, that miqo'te was involved in animal smuggling to outlaw pirates and Limsa understandably doesn't want outlaw pirates to have dangerous animals.
So we're sent to rescue the innocent babies before something bad happens to them.
Who doesn't love a baby kitten?
Aww. Poor little pup. We need to give him a bone and then give him a reassuring pet.
And then we're given both the kitten and the puppy to take care of! They've become our permanent "minions" and if we summon them, they'll follow us around. So expect to see one or the other of them following Ginger around in screenshots from here on out.
Anyway, with those good deeds done, let's continue on with the quests. We need to talk to the seasoned adventurer who strongly recommends we go to dungeon training. We did that a long time ago, so let's just continue on. While his dialogue is on the wiki, I simply do not care enough to copy it.
Up the hill from the Hall of the Novice is the entrance to Sastasha. Looks like there's a bunch of NPCs here already! Before we talk to them, let's report in with the local Yellowjacket.
Please tell me you're here on Yellowjacket duty, and not some daft sod out for a stroll. I can't take any more of this blasted waiting. You are? Thank the gods. I assume you already know about the ship seen slipping around the Isles of Umbra? We've been on the lookout for pirate activity ever since that vessel was sighted, thinking a crew of cutthroats might have a den nearby.
So when we received word that men of questionable quality had been seen passing in and out of Sastasha here, we weren't entirely surprised. I've yet to see them for myself, but if this lot belongs to those fishback-fancying Serpent Reavers... Well, you can imagine the panic it'll cause. The kidnappings are still fresh in people's minds. Anyway, your task is to poke around in the caves, and find out exactly who we're dealing with. While you do that, I'll be keeping watch out here...praying you don't spot any blue face tattoos.
I've been waiting a very, very long time for that popup. It means this LP is finally making good progress!
While waiting for my lovely helpers to get ready, let's talk to some of the locals. I actually had entirely forgotten these two showed up for the early dungeons, so imagine my surprise when I was replaying 2.0 and came across them.
Ah, a fellow adventurer. You, too, are here to unravel the mysteries of Sastasha? I have adventured across this wide realm for more seasons than I dare to count, yet still Eorzea manages to surprise me with her beauty and splendor.
Our journeys are not ended by the attainment of riches or fame. It is an unquenchable thirst for the unknown that drives us into the wilds time and again. Even if I explored the world for a thousand years, I would never grow weary of this life.
Grandfather and I are companions on the road. We travel where the wind takes us, and drink in all the wonders this world has to offer.
Only an adventurer can understand the joy of such freedom-of discovering hidden places and experiencing sights and sounds that few may ever know. The passing years have begun to take their toll on the old man, but no force save death itself will sate his appetite for adventure!
Isildaure and Alianne are fellow adventurers, and as you can probably gather from their dialogue, a grandfather travelling with his granddaughter. They're a very wholesome comparison to...
Hoo boy. Every veteran reading this instantly winced. Edda's party here is kinda infamous for reasons we'll be seeing throughout this update. But let's meet them first, eh?
What took ye so bloody long, Edda? If me purse was too light, ye might've considered usin' some of yer own bleedin' coin to get us what we need! Ye've only ever been as useful as the contents o' yer pockets-the gods know ye can barely 'eal a scratch!
We took up the 'venturin' life to take on the big jobs an' claim the big rewards. How're we meant to do that if ye can't even get our supplies in order?
Hm? It's 'er-the one Baderon was talkin' to! Well, we'll see who gets the glory! This job should've been ours in the first place!
Avere is the party's tank, and he's a bit of a jerk.
Bwahahaha! Edda, you're so slow, you'd lose a footrace to a tree slug.
Liavinne is mocking Edda, and it doesn't really seem good natured. She's the party's archer.
This is perfect for our inaugural outing as a party-wandering around in the caves, turning over a few rocks... How difficult could it possibly be? I never expected our first visit to the Adventurers' Guild would yield such a straightforward way to win fame and fortune.
Paiyo Reiyo is the "normal" one in the group. He's the group's thaumaturge and just wants some easy money from adventuring.
<gasp> I-I'm sorry, Avere! I came as fast as I could! I tried haggling with the merchant, but two potions was the best I could get with the money you gave me. I had no idea how expensive they were!
And then there's Edda. She's the party's healer and she's apparently not that great at her job, to hear the rest tell the tale. According to at least one source, she's also a literal child at 16 years old. So these jerks are berating a teenager for not being a savant at her job.
We'll check in on them as we finish the rest of these starter dungeons. But in the meantime...
I found some poor souls willing to tank and heal. So let's dive into Sastasha!
Dungeons, especially early on, aren't exactly interesting. So I'm going to include this first one in-line to demonstrate what it's all about. The rest, though, are gonna be linked to like I did with Hall of the Novice.
From the Depths (Sastasha Theme)
Sastasha: The dungeon nobody can remember how to spell outside of the first 4 letters. Also known as "everyone is level 80 and doing their daily roulette, so why did we get sent here?"
A.W. here is another first timer. Orokin Reactor returns to play the healer, while Malachite Dragon is a very fabulous tank.
There's not a lot to say about dungeons for the most part. They're full of combat.
The Promise of Plunder (Early Dungeon Combat Theme)
At the end of the first hallway, the path splits forward and to the right. One person, probably the healer, should run ahead and read the note. Everyone else ignore the note and slowly single target down the pack of mobs the tank is rounding up because Square doesn't believe in giving people AOE at a sane time. The person who reads the note should announce what color it says, because this will marginally matter for the first boss.
These clam enemies are worth mentioning because they have a neat gimmick. They're only vulnerable when the lid is open, and the rest of the time they can't be hurt. Also every time they open they spawn a bunch of motes that die in like one hit.
Eventually we make it to the first boss arena. Click on the correctly colored coral cluster to cause a switch to spawn. Click on the wrong one and we'll have to try again until we get it right. Probably. I've never actually seen anyone click on the wrong coral formation in the years I've been playing this. (What actually happens is you get doused with poison and a single trash mob spawns in as 'punishment.')
Eevee pointed out the red coral, and called it out earlier. So this is the one we click to make the boss spawn.
A Fine Death (Miniboss Theme)
The boss itself, a coeurl, is barely even worth mentioning.
You just have to avoid standing in the clearly marked AOE circles and you'll be good. Also this AOE attack can also be interrupted with a nice boot to the head.
The coeurl dies pretty quickly and that's that.
Moving on down the hall and around the corner...
For some strange reason this trash pack has its own boss arena. Even more baffling, you get treasure after you beat them. Once Madison falls below like half health he runs off because he forgot he left the stove on. He apparently can slow the tank, but it can be cured with esuna. Good luck finding a healer that remembers they have esuna.
The next room has several side chambers you will literally never go into during normal runs. They mostly have treasure in them, but these days you level so fast that in the incredibly, vanishingly, unlikely event you actually need the drops for gear upgrades, you'll outlevel them before you finish the dungeon. Technically we need the gear drops, but XP gain was severely increased for A Realm Reborn with the 5.3 patch. We started this update at level 19. We're going to leave this dungeon at 22.
Malachite decided because this was for the LP and because the other guy was a first timer, we'd clear every room. So take a good look folks, because these are rooms that very likely none of you have ever seen.
I do like that the "canon" run for this LP has us clearing out every room. This one in particular is a giant cage full of women. Letting them run free is the right thing to do! I also forgot to get a shot of their pop-up dialogue, but it's... not cheerful. Not at all. These women aren't here willingly, and because they're women captives of outlaw pirates... well, I'm sure you can read between the lines.
The Captain's Quarters are the only room you have to run into. This giant guy in the back has the key to go onward. Also these poor women... Spoilering this because it involves implied sexual assault.
I'm not one of them! I swear on what little remains of my virtue!
Let's grab the key and continue on around to another room that everyone skips.
A couple dudes and a treasure chest. So far 3 of the 4 optional rooms have had treasure chests in them!
Sadly the last room doesn't have one, but 3/4 ain't bad!
That trash pack from earlier is back.
This time once Madison's health falls low enough, he'll summon a pack of dogs to attack the healer. They die in less than a second of concentrated attack. Once the dogs are dead and his health is brought even lower, Madison remembers that he forgot to Do That Very Important Thing and runs off once again.
Fun fact: if you burst Madison hard enough, he will not release the hounds. You will not do this outside of unsync. He also used to give a chest full of goodies, but not anymore. Oh well, the dungeon's almost over.
If you're gonna wipe anywhere, it'll be here. Melee jobs don't have AOE attacks at this low a level, and the chances of finding a ranged player are pretty low for some reason. There's a bunch of enemies leading up to the boss, and tanks for some reason love to pull all of them at once, even when nobody in the party has any AOE but them.
Last boss is just ahead. Captain Madison is standing inside waiting for us. Time for a showdown! 
Nemesis (Early Dungeon Final Boss Theme)
Welp. Denn the Orcatoothed here killed Madison. You'd think that would make him a threat, but no. He's a loot pinata. Just beat him until he coughs up that coat you want for your glamour.
You're supposed to click on the unnatural ripples when they start getting agitated, but trust me - he will not live long enough for that to matter.
If for some inexplicable reason he lives longer than 30 seconds, adds will spawn that should probably just be ignored.
Is Orokin dressed like an eevee? 
Well, we did pretty good for our first dungeon outing!
After each dungeon, you're prompted to commend one of the other players. Most people auto-commend the tank or healer. There's a contingent of people who auto-commend fellow DPS. Personally I commend randomly, unless there's a first timer in the dungeon. I always commend first timers, especially if they watch all the cutscenes!
The other two groups have moved on it seems. I hope everything went well with Edda's group. 
Anyway, there's nothing left for us here. So let's return to Baderon.
Baderon is talking to some adventurers.
Aye, such a task was on the books. "Was," mind. I'm afraid that ship 'as already sailed, friend.
Ah. Might you be the adventurer who accepted the job of investigating Sastasha?
*nods*
Hmph. It would seem that ship has not only sailed, but now returns to harbor, none the worse for its voyage. A pity. We dragged our boots too long on this one.
No matter. The wheel will turn and our chance will come.
You are right, of course. But there shall be no rest till we have attained our goal, lofty though it may be!
Not a wink of sleep, great leader!
Our aim, lest you wonder, is to perform such feats of heroism as will earn us a place in the songs of every alehouse in Eorzea. We mean to write a legend which will inspire adventurers as yet unborn to follow our shining example.
Do you have such a goal? Large or small, it matters not. Only have a star to reach for and you will reach higher. Purpose can sustain you through times of hardship. Keep your eye on the prize, and all obstacles will be overcome in time. You would not think to stride into battle unclad, would you? Well, goals are as arms and armor for the spirit! I wish you fortune in your endeavors, sir!
Dolorous Bear, E'manafa, and Kikina all seem pretty nice. And Dolorous is absolutely right, as well. Having a goal firmly in mind is a necessity for any adventurer.
Back then, are ye? With all yer limbs, an' a tale to tell, I'll wager.
*starts telling the tale*
Fishbacks? An' there I was thinkin' ye'd only 'ave to crack a pirate skull or three. Seven hells... Ye turn yer back fer five bloody minutes, an' the scaly bastards've set up shop on yer bleedin' doorstep... Still, sounds like ye left 'em in pieces, so I don't s'pose they'll be carryin' out whatever mischief they was plannin'-unless they was plannin' on feedin' 'emselves to the fauna o' Sastasha, o' course.
Anyroad, all's well that ends well! Thanks fer sheddin' some light on this mystery. I knew ye'd get the job done, lad-ye always do! On behalf o' Limsa, I thank ye fer sheddin' some light on this mystery. Ye've lived up to yer reputation, an' I couldn't ask fer no more'n that.
Now, I'll bet yer dyin' fer a rest, but just in case yer not, I was wonderin' if ye might be interested in takin' on another job? It just so 'appens that I've 'ad a request from our sister guild in Gridania, see. Seems the forest folk're in need of a 'venturer what can get things done.
Fer them to ask fer 'elp like this, ye can bet the task won't be no skip through a sunny glade. But after the way ye dealt with our fishback infestation, I doubt it's anythin' ye can't 'andle. Give us a shout when yer ready, an' I'll lay it out fer ye.
*nods*
Party Finder is great if you want to see a bunch of RMT ads for people selling clears of the hardest content in the game. You can also find free company advertisments, people looking for RP, and other, weirder, things. For a while on Balmung, there was someone openly advertising their services as a findom.
I'm serious. Name and location redacted for obvious reasons.
Let's move on and not dwell on that any more than we have to.
Ready to 'ear about that job, then? Like I said, the request comes from our sister guild in Gridania. ...An' that's all I know. But whatever it is ye get asked to do, I some'ow doubt it'd pose any trouble fer a 'venturer as survived the bedlam in Sastasha. If ye think ye might be interested, ye'll want to 'ave words with Mother Miounne, me counterpart in Gridania. Good luck, lass!
This is just a "go to the location" quest. So, I'ma just skip ahead.
Miounne isn't quite as important as Momodi is, but she still gets a portrait.
Take a seat wherever you like, friend. Our waitress will come to take your-- Oh? Not here to dine? Dare I hope that you're the adventurer Baderon sent word about? ...You are!? The Matron be praised! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Miounne, and the Carline Canopy is my place. With regard to the task in question, there is a fair bit to tell. Let me know when you're ready to hear the details, and I shall brief you.
We're not done with this update yet, no sir!
Ugh. There is no dialogue for this quest on the wiki, so I have to transcribe use Capture2Text.
Ready for that briefing? Good! Now then, here's the long and short of it...
Beg pardons for interrupting, Miounne, but our need grows ever more pressing. Have none stepped forward?
The setup is the same for all three dungeons. You talk to the adventurers' guild representative and then someone from the intro quests comes by to see about the bill they posted.
And good day to you too, Bowlord! Your need must be pressing indeed for you to honor us with a visit. The good news is: your journey hasn't been wasted. l'm pleased to report that we have a volunteer at last, and one who comes highly recommended, at that.
My thanks for answering the call, friend. My name is Lewin, and I lead the men and women of the Gods' Quiver. Now, time is of the essence, so I shall proceed directly to the heart of the matter. We wish for you to nip a potential threat to Gridania in the bud.
The Gods' Quiver are the archers of the Gridanian military. Lewin here, then, is the best archer in Gridania.
Beneath the Central Shroud, there lies an underground burial site called the Tam-Tara Deepcroft. The place was once a Gelmorran settlement, but we Gridanians have long interred our dead there.
The Gelmorrans were the Gridanians' predecessors. They hid underground and built gigantic subterranian cities to avoid a previous calamity.
Of late, however, shadowy figures have been seen skulking about the Deepcroft, and with ever-increasing regularity. Based on the accounts of various witnesses, we suspect that these individuals belong to the Lambs of Dalamud, a doomsday cult which sprung up prior to the Calamity. These zealots have proven themselves dangerous in the past, and we leave them to their own devices at our peril.
Ordinarily, I would have dispatched my best men to scour the Deepcroft with orders to flush the cultists out. Alas, the Calamity decimated our ranks, and the limited forces at my disposal are constantly required to keep the lxal at bay. The birdmen have grown restless of late, and lfear a storm may be brewing. In anticipation of this, I have been compelled to spread our forces throughout the Twelveswood, lest we be taken unawares.
The God of the Ixals, Garuda, is dangerous. She's easily one of the more powerful primals. That's not to say that there's such a thing as a non-dangerous primal, for reasons we'll eventually discover. But Garuda is dangerous because she and her followers are incredibly aggressive, far more than other beast tribes.
The situation so being, we must turn to others to deal with the Lambs of Dalamud. Can we rely on you to undertake this task, friend?
*nods*
You have my gratitude. Once you've seen to your preparations, pray make your way to the Deepcroft, and identify yourself to the guard posted at the entrance. He will apprise you of the latest developments. That is all.
Be careful out there, you hear? May the Crystal guide you and keep you!
I run up the hill and grab a chocobo to Bentbranch Meadows, the nearest settlement to the Deepcroft.
From Bentbranch's southern exit, we follow the road until we reach an intersection, then we hang a right.
And at the bottom of the hill, we find our adventuring buddies!
<pant> <pant> ...Childish curiosity prompted me to commit the most elementary of blunders. Were it not for the fruit that Alianne found, my adventures may well have ended in this forbidding place. Always look before you leap... In my haste, this most fundamental rule of adventuring slipped my mind. <sigh> I do believe I shall rest here awhile.
I shudder to think what might have happened to lsildaure had I not thought to pick the fruit I stumbled across on the way here. Sometimes he has too much vigor for his own good. Age is supposed to mellow us, but if anything it has made him more impetuous. I understand his desire to make use of the time left to him, but one misstep, and there won't be any.
I'm glad they're alright, but I'm also very curious how a fruit saved Isildaure's life.
Edda's group is mysteriously absent. Instead, we have Dolorous Bear and friends. Let's see what they have to say.
So we meet again! I cannot say l'm surprised to see you here. You took the prize back in Limsa, but this time we will give you better sport, or I am no true adventurer!
Gods, I hate mausoleums... It's not right to disturb the dead in their slumber...
Think of our goal, sister! One day, our adventures will be the stuff of song, and it will all be worth it!
I like the friendly rivalry thing we have going with Dolorous Bear. I wish him all the luck, but we're totally gonna beat him to the prize.
You're Ginger Pepper, I take it? Thanks for helping us out, friend. No doubt the Bowlord has already informed you, but your task is to enter the Deepcroft and purge it of the Lambs of Dalamud. In case you're unfamiliar with them, the cult emerged shortly before the Calamity put an end to the Sixth Astral Era.
The cultists took the lesser moon, Dalamud, for their god, believing that it would deliver them from the devastation. And so they were rather disappointed when Dalamud exploded into a thousand flaming pieces before it could complete its descent. Now, having seen their god turn to ash, one would think that the cultists might feel moved to question their faith. On the contrary, it served only to stoke the flames of their fanaticism.
The Lambs of Dalamud are convinced that "heretics"--that is to say, everyone but them--interfered with the coming of their lord and savior, and that it's now their sacred duty to avenge him. Whatever it is they're doing in the Deepcroft, you may be sure that no good will come of it. For the sake of Gridania, and Eorzea at large, put an end to their madness.
Here we go!
The Tam-Tara Deepcroft
Unlike with Sastasha, there's no need to show this off in-line again. So I'm going to do what I did with the Hall of the Novice. You can click on the link above to be taken to a sub-update that just covers the Tam-Tara Deepcroft in case you want to see just how Ginger cleared what is probably the easiest dungeon in the game.
If you didn't read the linked sub-update, then all you need to know is that Ginger killed her first mindflayer and a bunch of doomsday cultists.
So let's return to Gridania and report our success!
While we're here, we need to get something from Beatin for Jandelaine.
A message from Jandelaine, you say? So he's lost another one. <sigh> Does the man not understand that wood doesn't simply grow on--er, actually it does, at least in a manner of speaking. But the fact remains that resources are in short supply!
For all his flowery words, if his tools were truly an extension of his very being, one would think he'd find a way to hold on to them for more than a fortnight or two. Jandelaine's skills are not to be doubted, but his temperament leaves much to be desired. Still, it is not my place to judge--take this to him and let us both hope that he will right his ways.
Now that we've gotten whatever Beatin has for the roving hairdresser, let's report in to Mother Miounne before someone takes credit for our deeds!
That group in the back looks familiar. 
Welcome back, Ginger! I'm reliably informed that your foray into the Deepcroft was a success. Nor did I expect anything less. Baderon's ringing endorsement left me in little doubt as to your capabilities. Even so, you are to be commended. Bowlord Lewin asked me to pass on his thanks. I must say, it's something of a relief to be able to call upon such a capable adventurer.
Sadly, death has become an ever more common occurrence within our fraternity of late. Times being what they are, the guild is constantly inundated with petitions, and we are hard-pressed to find enough hands to deal with them all. While this means no shortage of work for able souls such as yourself, it also provides ample opportunity for the inexperienced to overreach themselves-- with predictable consequences. Ah... as if to illustrate the point...
Miounne looks over to her right.
That looks like Edda's group! But where's... oh. Oh no.
Avere's gone, and it's all your fault! If it hadn't taken you an age to heal him, he would still be alive!
<sniff> B-But I tried! He bolted out of range before I could finish the spell! <sob> He shouldn't have been so hard-pressed in the first place... We should've done more to lighten his burden...
Bah! To the hells with this pathetic excuse for a party! I'm leaving, and it'd be too soon if I never see your faces again! Good-bye, and good riddance!
l'm leaving as well. I doubt this comes as any surprise, but I never liked you. I only suffered you for your healing, but you couldn't even do that one thing right. Cruel though this may sound, you brought this upon yourself. Oh, and by way of some parting advice...get rid of Avere's head! Bury it, cremate it, do whatever the hells you like with it--but for gods' sakes, stop carrying it around! lt's...it's just... Just get rid of it, all right!?
W-Wait! Don't leave me alone! Please! <sob> I'm so sorry, Avere... Please forgive me...
Reminder that Edda is 16 years old. That's some heavy shit for a teenager. 
Scenes like this have become all too common. That makes a dozen times in half as many days... Now you see why l'm grateful for adventurers of your experience. I can send women like you on a mission without worrying that you might not return-- well, not so much, at any rate.
Speaking of missions, I would entrust you with another. About a bell ago, I received a message from my counterpart in Ul'dah. She seeks the services of a reliable adventurer, and you are nothing if not reliable. If you think you might be interested in this task, say the word, and I will be glad to share the details with you.
I think that's a good spot to leave off on. We didn't really know Edda's group for very long, but we had a one-sided rivalry of sorts with them. Now I just hope nothing happens to Dolorous Bear's trio, or Isildaure and his granddaughter.
NEXT TIME: Copperbell Mines and beyond