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Video: Freedom Pals




Iron Maiden



Because you had your own movies!



Super Craig had to have movies before Wonder Tweek was introduced! It made no sense otherwise.
Your whole group makes no sense!
Because you're a traitor, Tweek, and now you're with a group of super traitors!
This was started by you! By people who thought there should be preferential treatment to certain heroes!
We aren't the ones who walked out of the fucking franchise, Mysterion!



Right now I am speaking to you telepathically.
Get out of my head, Timmy.
Your franchise is going nowhere. Face the truth, Eric. You guys are kind of douchebags.



King Douchebag says hi

He just called us douchebags, in my mind.
He did?!
All right you son of a bitch! Arahgh!











The Coon is off fighting Doctor Timothy, so both of them are not going to be participating in this battle. Doctor Timothy is by far the most dangerous of the Freedom Pals, so this is a very good thing.

Out of the rest, Mysterion has the biggest DPS while Wonder Tweek deals status effects. Tupperware is there just because; he's not using his main gimmick for this battle.

Taking a blood sample, now!
Dude, you are trying way too hard.

We're focusing fire on Mysterions because we want to take him out ASAP.

Nice work. Now excuse me while I go throw up.

I'll drink to that!



Wait... I'm confused.

As you can see, this attack has a huge (but unorthodox) range. This alone makes Wonder Tweek one of the more dangerous enemy.

Oh, I'm up? OK.

Kite, you're fighting for the wrong side.

Prepare to meet your end.



Bummer.

Suprising no one, Mosquito is the first casualty . Demonic Fury deals 84 damage and Mosquito had 90 max HP, so...yeah. To make things worse, no-

Car!
Car!



Fuck you dude, it's Civil War, dick.
Clear.
Clear.

I'm not sorry for what I'm about to do.



Yeah I saw that comin'.

As I was saying, nobody can tank 2 hits from Mysterion's Demonic Fury. It does need a turn to recharge, but still. At least Craig can now kill him.

The Inspection Mode description says something about "Dead Mysterion, a great and ghostly debuffer." Good thing we don't have to worry about that right now . You can see the descriptions in a few frames on the video.

Now it's my turn!



Maybe that'll knock some sense in to you!

Tupper Tornado hits all enemies adjacent to Tupperware and knocks them back.



Gross

New Kid's gonna kick your ass, Freedom Pals!

I will right wrongs and triumph over evil - and that means you!
Wait, me?

If this was an anime Wonder Tweek would probably have an elaborate transformation sequence



Think of a warm breeze and a hot chick in a bikini...

Icicle Strike's range is EXACTLY 3 squares (so it doesn't work on close combat) and it inflicts Chill.



Chill lasts for 1 turn and skips over the afflicted person's turn. We could heal it with an Antidote, but then we'd waste THAT person's turn, so it's effectively uncurable. Unlike most games, Chill and Burn doesn't cancel each other out.

OK... I'm all right.

Come and get me, dick.

Here comes Tupperware!

You don't have to be on their side, New Kid!



Somebody wake me when it's my turn.

If you watch the video, you can see me cycling through the items. This is the moment where I realized that I DID NOT BRING ANY REVIVE SERUMS INTO THIS BATTLE

Guess it's emergency summon time

You guys ready for a miracle? Jew Scout's honor!



This doesn't revive Mosquito or heal Super Craig to full. You lied to me, game! I think it also clears all negative status effects, but I don't really remember.

You've never seen weather like this!



Lame.
No, you're lame. You're like the lamest lame of all lame time!
That was lame too.

Should've waited for just 1 more turn (Craig won't die since he has Block)

It's been fun, Freedom Pals, but now we have to say goodbye.



Ever get the feeling life is punishing you for being a dick, Tweek?
No!

If they can inflict status effects on everyone at once then so can we!

Suck on this, pajama pals.



And that's Human Kite down. My bad

To be fair, Craig can't attack anyone without killing Human Kite. He could've used an Antidote, but meh.

Protect the innocent. Uphold the law.

But not serving the public trust? For shame

Go nuts, New Kid.

Tweek's hurt? What a surprise.

Too much pressure!

This would be a lot easier if you'd just switch sides, Craig!
Guess we gotta do this the hard way, as usual.

Just chill for a bit, OK?





Didn't mean to kill Tupperware first, but this works too. Wonder Tweek die to Buttlord soon after.

Fists really do solve everything, you guys!





I don't think they're in the mood for some hot action right now...



Hey wait, what about Coon?!
Oh shit, come on!



Timmy got away?!
He - He completely raped my mind.
You OK?
No seriously, you guys, he fucked the shit out of my brains. Agh... I grabbed him, we fought for a little bit, but his mental powers are too strong.
So we did all that for nothing?
Not quite.



You did?
There's sure to be a lead on that!
Let's get this back to base! Super Craig can analyze it!



Oh yeah, Moses is now our follower. He's the only follower who doesn't need a selfie.



all the followers on Instagram? Your presence is requested at City Hall. The Mayor of South Park wishes to speak with you. Don't make her wait.

I don't think we have any Instagram followers, but we do have some Coonstagram followers

We'll take a detour to the City Hall first. But first, let's rectify my biggest mistake this update.



Remember when I said higher crafting Lv reduces the consumables' requirement? That's only technically true; it actually lets us craft multiple of them at once (to a maximum of 4).



This lets us level up. You might notice that the new artifact slot has a different color and shape. That's because this is a Major Artifact slot while the others are for Minor Artifacts. We don't have any Major Artifacts right now (even including the DLC toybox), so this is unimportant right now



Well... All right, look... You might be able to help me. This new "crime wave" in town. It isn't a coincidence. Some group or someone is trying to make me look bad.



Whoever is behind this wants to see me get replaced. I need people like you. Please, find out who is behind the crime wave in our town. My political life depends on it.

Well that was enlightening.

[Selfie] What kid doesn't love a photo with the highest ranking official of their municipal government?



Very good. Now run along, little constituent.
Keep up the good work, crime fighter!
[Selfie] Why yes, I love engaging in social media activities. It's so important.



Great. Maybe I'll see this one on the social media!
[Selfie] Let's take a picture, future voter!



On behalf of the entire Mayor's office, thank you for your support.



Now let's see what Cartman got from the scuffle.



Now that we have more audience, we got some more reactions when we try to punch the Cube of Ultimate Destruction.

Seriously, BUZZ off!
That thing's not a toy, New Kid! I mean, it looks like one, but it's not!
Don't touch the Cube!
What the fuck?! Are you trying to exterminate us all?!

The Coon will still comment like usual, but it doesn't seem like the others have anything to say.



Timmy's phone has a bunch of notes in it. Something about a girl who has information about all the criminal activity in town.
What girl?!
It just says 'find the girl with the dick tattoo'.
What girl in town has a dick tattoo?
I don't know Mosquito, but the Freedom Pals must think SHE'S the key to finding the missing cat...



We cannot let that happen. We have to stop the Freedom Pals from having a sweet franchise. At all costs.
Then we have to find the girl with that tattoo TONIGHT.
Fastpass is right. We all have to sneak out of our houses tonight and search the entire town.
What do you say, New Kid, are you up for it?



Look, if you wanna be a COON FRIEND, you have to learn to communicate!
Yeah! Who let this guy join us anyway?!





I'm sorry friend, but it's time they learned your tragic backstory. Butthole doesn't trust anyone because his dad fucked his mom and he couldn't do anything to stop it.
That doesn't make any sense!
I know. How could the person you trust do that to the only other person you love?
Cartman, everyone's dad fucked everyone's mom.

This definition doesn't count for adopted children's parents



That's how it works, stupid! Our dads fucked our moms!
Oh right. So does that mean your dad fucked your mom, Kyle?! Huh?!
YES! My dad fucked my mom! That's why I'M HERE!
Don't steal his backstory dude, that's not cool.
YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID! EVERY HUMAN ALIVE. ON EARTH. HAD A DAD WHO FUCKED THEIR MOM AND-

This definition does count for adopted children's parents

STOP! STOP! This is NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! We need to find the lady with the dick tattoo.
Yeah let's get home, so we can prepare for evening missions.
Let's go, Coon Friends!





your whole life, Butthole. When people don't understand, they lash out.

And if everyone you meet don't understand, maybe they're not the bigot.

I'm going to let you be a sidekick tonight to one of the Coon Friends. Go home and sneak out after your parents are asleep. I'll fill you in later.



We could go back into just being New Kid and end the day, but...



A Psychic. Like Professor X.
A Psychic. Don't try to read my mind, Butthole.

We still have to be



Your foes had brawn, but you had the brains. You used those brains to create a Psi-Shield!



Psi-Shield: Fortify self or ally with Protection [Shield]

Whatta ya think of THIS?



What the - ?!
What's with the kid?
You sensed another threat coming from up the stairs. As the brute entered, you overpowered his weak mind with a Dazzling Flash!



Fuck, what?

Dazzling Flash: Damage and Confuse an enemy [Confuse] [2]

Confuse lasts for 2 turns and causes the character to be uncontrollable. They usually will attack whoever is closest to them.

The first intruder tried his luck again...

*Intruder attacks*

...But his attacks still couldn't penetrate your mental barrier.
What is this...power?!
Still under the influence of mind-glitter, the biggest intruder attacked his fellow thug!
Hey, hey, whatta ya think you're doing?!



Now, you centered all your mental energy to further trivialize your enemies' attacks!



Hey, come on. That's just not fair.

Chakra Cleanse: Heal and grant Protection to all allies [Shield]

The intruder still thought he could get a hit in on you...

*Intruder attacks*

...but he thought WRONG.
I'm just...out of ideas!
Me too... Augh!
You were done toying! You focused your mental energy once more... You got into position to unleash a massive Cerebral Blast.



Cerebral Blast: Damage and inflicts Defense Down [Def ↓]

Maybe brains...ARE better than brawn!

With that agenda done, we have very few things left to do. We can bother The Coon.

Dude, you gotta keep Mosquito away from those Raisins girls. If he relapses that shit's on you.
Oh my god, tell me all about the look on Mysterion's face when you guys beat his ass.
How's it going out there, ButtLord?
Jesus Christ, ButtLord... You're back again?
You know, you have kind of pretty hair for a boy, New Kid. You better not be a hippie or something.

We can also go to Police Station to report for our successful work, but we'll leave that for tomorrow.



For now, all that's left is to go home.



We have to get out of our superhero costume for that. Getting out of the costume requires us to rapidly alternate these two buttons for a while. It's annoying.



Mr. Mackey!!!

Have you lost your fucking mind?! Our child felt the need to go talk to the school counselor. Doesn't that bother you at all?!
So you told him the truth?!
Yes, I said she's a girl.
You dumb bitch - you'll ruin everything!
I don't have to listen to this from a stoned out POT HEAD! I need a drink!
Sure, drown your problems in Chardonnay, you stupid skank - oh hey, whipper snapper!



Ha ha aha!! Well, I'm exhausted. Gonna get ready for bed.
Dinner's on the table if you want it, punk. But then straight to bed, OK? Pot head.
Alcoholic!

*They both leave*









At least we got a lot of loot from the toybox. We got it by completing the tasks like collecting yaoi and Memberberries or killing enough of a type of enemy. There's more costumes we got beside this.



Beside costumes, we also got crafting materials.



Like, A LOT of them.



I'm really not kidding



Speed religion makes Fastpass sound like a methhead. His sexuality doesn't help either.



*Mom turns off the light and leaves*