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XV - Truly Incredible Spoiled Egg
Hello everyone and welcome back. Today's gonna be a lot of wandering around to set up puzzle solutions later on. Uniting Beauty and Beast was the last mandatory puzzle before we have to pick an ending path. There's some optional points to get, but completing that puzzle has caused the lamp peddler to return to town.
As I also found out the hard way, Jollo also doesn't show up in the bookshop if you don't talk to him almost immediately after leaving the catacombs. If you wait until after this point, he doesn't show up at all.
Beauty's old clothes are very ragged and heavy. They consist of a long, thick dress, and a headpiece which covers the hair and most of the face.
Alexander searches through Beauty's clothes but finds nothing.
Beast's mirror consists of a piece of glass set into a decorative frame. The glass is unusually clear and the image particularly true.
Alexander examines Beast's mirror. The glass has a startling clarity, and the frame is quite beautiful.
If we had fucked up the order on giving items to Sing-Sing and she didn't return, we could find a strand of black hair in the clothes. But because we got it from Cassima, we don't get one here. It's very kind of the game to give it to you in an item you can't miss.
We still have need of the lamp for now. With the fountain and the sacred water, we can prepare a rain spell. So...
Alexander pours the contents of the Oracle's vial into the hunter's lamp. The vial, now empty of its sacred fluid, disintegrates.
fountain
Alexander fills the hunter's lamp to the brim with the fountain water.
Alex will fill the lamp to the brim with fountain water every time, so it has to be done last. And if you fucked up and used the sacred water and the fountain before tears? Then you are locked out of the long ending path.
south
I bet Cassima would like a nice white rose.
We'll give that to Sing-Sing later. First, let's settle a dispute between the queens.
north west
A little bottle. Neat! Let's take it.
The little bottle contains some sort of potion and bears a label saying, "DRINK ME." That's rather forward of it!
Alexander searches the bottle for a clue about the potion inside, but remains unilluminated.
What could go wrong from drinking a random bottle we found sitting in a garden?
Alexander decides to swallow the potion in the bottle labeled 'drink me' to see what happens.
Suddenly, his vision fades to black.... His lungs become too heavy to breathe.... His heartbeat slows....
There's a really obnoxious red flash happening that slows as the sound of Alex's heartbeat slows.
Then beats no more!
Suddenly, his heart takes a lurch, then beats strong.... His chest heaves like that of a newborn.... His vision clears, and Alexander feels fine!
Phew! For a minute there I thought.... What if someone ELSE had seen me and thought.... Zounds!
Jollo mentioned that if we could fake our death, it would put Shamir off our tail. I think that qualifies! We just need to do it where he's watching. Thankfully Alex didn't drink all of it, so we can use the rest when we need to!
north
Hold, human. We've just received word that the queens are coming.
Excellent. Just the women I wanted to see.
Your Highness may as well spend her royal time contemplating something else. The lump of coal shall be sent to the Castle of the Crown under MY name and that's all there is to it.
No, it shan't.
Yes, it shall.
If the coal is sent in YOUR name, I shall royally decree a ban on all red on the isle.
You do and I shall royally decree that white shall be henceforth used for all mopping up of cabbage stew.
You wouldn't dare!
Oh, wouldn't I?
Your highnesses, please. This is tedious beyond words. Stop fighting for two seconds!
Oh, it's you. Have you thought of any more of those brilliant ideas of yours?
Well if you're going to demean my ideas, I guess I can take this lump of coal I found and turn right around...
What lump of coal? I have the only lump of coal on the island!
I found the two of you another lump of coal so that you can stop fighting over the one you have.
Lemme see! A lump of coal! And what a beauty it is, too! Marvelous!
Now we can stop fighting, sister! Your Highness can just keep the old lump of coal, and I'll take this new one.
Quite right! This settles everything.
As a token of our endless esteem and royal favor, please accept this magnificent and truly incredible spoiled egg!
Er...umm...thanks.
Let me see that lump of coal, Your Highness.
It is a beauty, isn't it?
Why, it's bigger than MY lump of coal! Let me have it, immediately!
Over my dead body, Your Highness! It's MY lump of coal, and it is indeed larger and MUCH grander. Just look at that sheen!
I DEMAND you exchange with me IMMEDIATELY!
*long, deep, weary sigh*
*joins in*
The spoiled egg has a slightly yellowed shell that bulges in spots from the pressure of the gases inside.
Alexander is careful in handling the spoiled egg. That shell looks ready to burst!
Back to the beach! We're actually knocking out islands left and right today. We now are completely done with both the Isle of the Beast and the Isle of Wonder! And if we were doing the short ending path, we'd be done with every island!
Still more to do, so the update isn't over yet.
First up is another gift for Cassima. It's just optional points, but I like the little interludes.
Sing-Sing
Alexander holds out the rose, hoping that the bird will deliver it to Cassima!
The nightingale takes the rose and heads for the castle once more!
A white rose, how beautiful! It must be from Alexander! How I wish that I could see him with my own eyes, but Abdul will never allow it He only risks capture by sending me these things, dear to my heart though they are. Fly elsewhere, my pretty friend. Do not endanger Prince Alexander again by taking tokens from his hand!
Forgive me, Alexander...and forget me. I cannot return your love, for I fear that I shall never leave this castle again!
Alexander waits in vain for Cassima's nightingale to return, but the bird does not. Could there be something wrong? Or does Cassima simply not welcome his attentions further?
Well that was depressing. Let's now go give one of our oldest friends on the island a heart attack because we haven't been nearly enough of a dick yet.
The old man is back like I said earlier, meaning we're in the endgame now. Also this is approximately the point where I realized Jollo wasn't appearing and so I had to re-record everything. So this counts as a death for tracking purposes!
Shamir the old man is back spying on the pawn shop owner, so let's throw him off the trail.
Haven't I seen you somewhere before, SIR?
NO!
But I'm quite sure...perhaps on some cliffs...
NO!
Isle of the Beast?
NO!
Dock-side?
NO! Leave me ALONE!
Not very friendly, is he?
I love that even "canon" Alexander has wisened up to Shamir's bullshit by now. Anyway, let's do the thing we came to do.
Alexander suddenly gets a very sneaky idea....
Feigned Suicide Part 1 (Melodrama)
I can't go on anymore! Without Cassima, I'd just rather not live!
Prince Alex! No!
It's true! The vizier has beaten me! I give up! Poison is my last resort
I beg you, stop!
I am...no...more!
Oh, what a waste! The poor, young fool!
He's dead! He's dead! Wait until Abdul hears! He'll be SO pleased!
Alhazred's Theme
I've already linked it before, but it was 15 updates ago and it's really good and conveys just how much of a menace this bastard is. You can hear echoes of Cassima's theme in it too!
I TOLD you not to pop in like that! You can learn to knock like everybody else!
Sorry, Master, I couldn't help myself! I have great news!
Well? What is it?
Prince Alexander is dead! He killed himself in despair over losing Cassima. Tee, hee!
What? Are you positive? That young man has proven to be MOST devious.
I saw the whole thing myself, Master. He was really and truly quite dead! He drank poison in the pawn shop! The 'poor' shopkeeper is beside himself with grief.
Hmmm. If what you say is true, it shall be most convenient. You've spent enough time on that little irritant. We must start thinking about the wedding.
Anything, Master! Ooh, I do love weddings!
Well, we do want you to look your 'prettiest,' don't we? Now, Shamir Shamazel, to the lamp with you! Prepare yourself, as we discussed.
You know, there's a version of this LP where I didn't show off the bottle of 'poison' and didn't comment on it at all. So when Sing-Sing didn't return from the castle, Alex despaired and publicly commited suicide and I left the update on a huge cliffhanger.
While that would have been entertaining it also would have been quite dark. Also Alex has died a few dozen times by now, so beyond the implied nonstandard game over, it wouldn't have much 'punch' to it.
Alexander's heart lurches to life in his chest.
Prince Alex! But...but...you were....!
Sorry, friend. I was doing a little acting, I'm afraid.
Ah! Of course! The strange cloaked man! You are quite clever--and a bit too exciting for an old man!
And that's enough of that!
NEXT TIME: The long ending path begins 
List of Points
+1 - Sacred lamp
+1 - Fountain water lamp
+1 - DRINK ME
+1 - A nice egg in these trying times
+1 - Feeding a rose to a bird
+3 - Tricked Shamir
Total Points: 145/231
Register of Deaths
Had to re-record!