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Chapter 48: 6/6-6/7: McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! (New)
This update contains content from Part 44 of the original LP.
Music: Beneath the Mask
Miss Honor Student must be busy kissing ass somewhere.
You don’t have to be so harsh…
What is this about a student council president?
>Well, Yusuke, in high school there is traditionally an election held to determine a representative for the student body, and we call that person the student council president.
The one at our school has kinda been keeping tabs on us. I think she’s suspicious of us.
>It’s mostly me, I think. Unless she’s been following you guys around obsessively too.
Are you sure it is not merely a result of Ryuji’s general misconduct?
Though to be honest, the three of you most certainly stand out. Do try to be careful. I cannot be there to look over you at school, you know. That duty rests on your broad shoulders, Maaku.
>Probably shouldn’t rest too much on my shoulders, to be honest. I have a pretty developed slouch.
I’ll make sure to keep an eye on Ryuji too.
Why do you gotta single me out…?
The others kinda overshadow you sometimes, but don’t forget: You’re famous too. Just make sure you’re careful, okay?
Oh? The phone is ringing again? Who ever could it be?
Caroline, that is not a sufficient explanation.
That’s the door only we can see in your world! You’d better not go to the wrong place!
We will be waiting for you. We expect great haste and enthusiasm from you.
If you’re being summoned somewhere, you should probably get going.
More Thieves’ Den stuff. Probably just gonna stop pointing this out.
I’M TRYING MY BEST, OKAY
(Thin-Voiced Woman) Oh, let’s not do Shibuya… It’s gotten really unsafe, I hear. I don’t mind if it’s near our office.
What’s a “thin voice”?
(Deep-Voiced Woman) Girl’s night in Kichijoji? I dunno. Won’t they think we’re just a bunch of drab thirty-somethings out on the town?
Due to the camera angles in this alley it’s literally impossible for me to get face shots of some of these NPCs without like, using camera hacks. Sorry, but we’ll go with the generic “Chatter” portraits for those.
Well, there’s the twins. Let’s go see what they need.
You’re late! Next time we expect you in front of us within two seconds of our calling!
We’ve got some new duties lined up for you. Let’s call them “special assignments”! To the point: there are a number of places in your reality’s society that may foster your rehabilitation. You will prove the value of these places to us—in person.
We will select various locations that we suspect could be vital to your rehabilitation. Should you recognize a place that we mention, then you are to escort us there.
Are those ears of yours just for decoration? These are special assignments for the sake of your rehabilitation. Work just as hard at them as you do the rest of your duties.
Should you meet our expectations, we’ll scrape together some sort of reward for you—so no slacking off!
We ought to mention: these special assignments will not be available indefinitely. To phrase it for your comprehension, you will have until the end of the year to complete them.
We’re really going out of our way for you here—don’t tell us we never did anything special for you!
Royal adds several outings with the twins along the lines of the Elizabeth/Theo “dates” from Persona 3. They’re pretty good.
Time will pass? Weeeeeak! This never happened with Liz!
We will now introduce the first special assignment—are you prepared?
Then listen closely. The first location we have chosen is… one that has grown quite popular lately. It’s purported to offer foods that simulate the feeling of being in space.
The food is apparently massive enough to rival the size of the universe itself and resembles a mysterious spacecraft.
If this food exemplifies both the unknown and the vast nothingness of space, it is sure to stimulate the heart. Does this description bring any locations to mind?
Well? If you know where it is, then escort us there immediately!
…… It could be the Big Bang Burger over in Shibuya…
So, what’ll it be?
Big Bang Burger? The name is fitting, I suppose.
We shall confirm our intel for ourselves. Lead the way.
Music: Big Bang Burger March
Is this the meal they boasted to be as immense as the cosmos? I’m quite disappointed.
Hey, Inmate—you don’t really expect some kind of reward out of this, do you?
Stop wasting our time and tell us.
I once ate a burger that was thiiiiiiis big…
The Big Bang Challenge… What an intriguing concept. For the sake of your rehabilitation, you are to take this challenge. Of course, you will take the largest they offer.
Any objections, Inmate?
Ah, yes, I did overhear that the challenge required advancement through a number of previous stages.
Please, for the love of god, I need to impress these children or they’ll never stop making fun of me!
Not by choice!
Not only that, buuuut you’re our 10,000th customer! To show you our appreciation, we’re treating you with the highest tier of the Big Bang Challenge: the Cosmic Tower Burger!
W-Wow… Lucky you…
Well then, it’s time to get the thirty-minute Big Bang Challenge started! Ready… Begin!
Music: High Pressure
It’s bigger than the Inmate’s entire stomach… Perhaps the moniker implies that any diner’s stomach will suffer its own Big Bang?
Complaining before the challenge has even begun… Perhaps one could say you don’t have the guts for this?
Literally true! In more ways than one!
Just so you know, even if you do pop, we won’t feel responsible.
I predict this challenge shall be a fairly difficult one… Be that as it may, you must finish the food tower in its entirety. Failing to join the clean plate club is a grave offense…
But you’ve only just begun…
Hmm, don’t his eyes look rather… dead to you?
Perhaps he is glimpsing the vast emptiness of outer space?
Uh, hey… Is he really all right? He’s not about to keel over, is he?
I don’t think I can finish…
I think he’s about to pass out.
…It appears this truly was too much for him to handle. Very well, let us pitch in.
Music: My Homie
I have to say, you really held your own there.
You almost didn’t make it through, but we’ll call this a success since your stomach didn’t burst.
They certainly craft a meal of impressive size, but when compared to what the big bang generated, it’s not grand in the least. Do humans have some sort of compulsion for exaggerating the sizes of things?
Good question. In fact, this challenge raises quite a few of them. You took the challenge for the sake of your rehabilitation, but who in their right mind would willingly consume so much food? Maybe I don’t understand humanity at all… Say, Inmate: why are humans always testing and pushing their limits?
Hey, Justine. Maybe we should take the challenge ourselves.
I just had the very same thought. If we were to thrust ourselves into this ordeal, perhaps we would discover some answers.
H-How can I help you?
We’re taking the Big Bang Challenge.
Well, ah… There’s a minimum age requirement to be eligible for the challenge… Ooh! Could I interest you in our Lil Bang Meal instead? It even comes with a toy! Don’t you want a cute little spaceshiiip?
That’s a burger, fries, and a juice for 500 yen! It’ll be right up!
It’s too late now—let’s just settle for that today… I admit I’m intrigued by the diminutive spaceship.
Music: What’s Going On?
You seemed much more excited by the toy than the taste, anyway.
I saw you eating around those “pickle” things or whatever they are, Justine!
WHAT!? Is this true!?
Calm down, Caroline. We’re getting off track.
Grrr… Well, at any rate, we’ve determined that hamburgers are incapable of conveying the majesty of space. While the toy spaceship helped to soften the blow, there’s no denying the truth. Now we will formally acknowledge the completion of your task.
Here is your reward.
Skill cards!? I wasted a time slot and all I got were some lousy skill cards!? Fuck me!
For a reasonable fee, nearly every desire can be fulfilled, all as if it were nothing.
That does sound interesting. I believe it may merit further research. Anyways, good work, Inmate. Your final task for the day is to escort us back to the Velvet Room. Let’s move!
I escorted the twins back to the Velvet Room as ordered…
Anon: i can’t
Anon: What about the pupils?
Anon: they can’t catch EVERYONE
Anon: what a joke
Anon: they’re just making threats
You’re in high school, right? I know a good part-time job…
They still haven’t caught whoever sent that calling card?
I’m actually a phantom thief. Wanna go grab some coffee?
Did some idiot leak pictures again?
Music: Beneath the Mask -Rain (Instrumental Version)
(Train Monitor) Now for today’s Train News. Today’s headlines are… “Calling Card at Madarame Exhibit!” The police are evaluating whether this is a true threat or a prank. “Scam Outbreak in Shibuya!” Students are the primary victims. Organized crime is suspected here.
Students getting scammed? That’s scary… You should be careful when you go to Shibuya.
(Surprised Female Student) It says they’re looking for information. I heard Principal Kobayakawa put it up.
(Hesitant Female Student) “Please consult the student council president if you have any details.”
(Dubious Male Student) So we can go to her for anything? Why the student council president though? What does she have to do with Principal Kobayakawa?
I mean, Niijima-san is his favorite. Maybe that’s why he asked her to do it.
Early Morning → Morning
Music: So Boring
He was someone who represented Japan. They probably trusted him based on his name alone. Indeed, we’re easily manipulated by the names we see. However, this world is filled with fake names. For instance, this creature, which you know well. It’s called the red king crab, but it has a form that a crab should not have.
Bold, assuming I know much at all about crabs.
Hamiru-kun, look at this picture.
Heh… Not bad.
The direction the legs unfold is reversed too. Typically they face forward, but a red king’s do not.
Maaku gains Knowledge +1. ALL BECOMES CRAB.
Incidentally, the tomalley of a crab isn’t its brain, as some people say. It’s actually the crab’s liver and pancreas. As you can see, the world is full of deception.
I saw some kind of paste like that in the fridge at Leblanc… but it’s not often you see real crab meat. Hey, why don’t we get sushi for our next celebration?
Morning → Afternoon
I just wish we could get some respect, y’know?
If we keep at it, people will definitely recognize us… as the Phantom Thieves, anyway.
Fine, let’s act all modest or whatever…
Afternoon → After School
Anon: Too elaborate for a prank
Anon: SERIOUSLY??? LOL
Anon: We gotta believe!
Anon: This is rude to the victims.
Anon: This site’s still up? lol
Should we tell Miss President? It’s so unfair that she gets special treatment!
Well, it doesn’t really concern me…
Student Council? What’s going on?
I wish I were an honor student! I don’t wanna have to pay tuition!
Principal Kobayakawa put that up without my—
(Female Council Member) We’ve already received some anonymous information. “I heard some students are getting threatened. I’m so scared… Please do something.”
“They have dirt on me, and they’re demanding money. I can’t go to the police… What should I do?” Isn’t this talking about the crimes that have been rumored to be occurring in Shibuya?
So there are even victims at our school… What should we do?
This isn’t the responsibility of the student council. This is frightening for us too… Principal Kobayakawa called you in yesterday, right? Did he tell you anything about this?
No, that meeting was about… much dumber things, unfortunately. And he’s not in today, either—he’s got a public appearance fighting Spider-Man at a birthday party. I’ll bring this to his attention when he returns tomorrow. Please, just be patient…
If you say so…
…My apologies for the confusion. Don’t worry. I’ll do something about all of this…
Music: Beneath the Mask -Rain (Instrumental Version)
But first we need a new target. I hope we can find a good one…
Apparently there’s a group of burglars terrorizing Shibuya. From what I hear, they only target restaurants and break in after they close for the day. Someone online was asking if it was the work of the Phantom Thieves…
What!? You can’t seriously believe that!
Mishima, you’re too easy to fuck with.
Anyway, I heard they’ve been running away without leaving even a trace of evidence. That’s all the information I have on them right now… Sorry. For now, I’ll make a post on the Phan-Site and ask for any more details people might know.
Man, being famous really brings its own unique set of problems… But we don’t really have any info. We’ll just have to wait for Mishima to get a more solid lead.
Can’t do anything there until we get more information.
You think maybe the Phantom Thieves go to our school? That’d be exciting, wouldn’t it?
(Energetic Student) That’s great and all, but I’m excited by something else. Our field trip is coming up, and I want to go see the TV station!
I kinda thought they were fake, but maybe they do exist after all…
Y’know, that logo’s actually pretty cool. Did he draw that?
Is he a fan of theirs? I never would’ve expected it from a stern guy like him…
Our name’s starting to get out there. I’m excited to see what happens next!
…Yeah, this is bad. Poor Kasumi, getting her name dragged through the mud because of us.
Let me get your opinion on this. What do you think is the Phantom Thieves’ objective?
There’s a lot of bad guys in the world, so I’d like to support the Phantom Thieves too. For the newspaper club, I’ll continue to watch for what the Phantom Thieves will do next.
Mmm, I wonder if they really have that much free time. Personally, I’d like to support the Phantom Thieves. They do help and save some people, right?
I know, right? I’m not sure I get their whole “stealing hearts” thing, either. At any rate, they do seem to be getting more popular.
(Glib Male Student) Oh, yeah, when I looked up the Phantom Thieves online, I found this weird blog by a crazy person. Her blog’s called “Phantom Thieves Want to Steal My Boyfriend.” She mentions “blood storms”… a lot.
Whoa. She really sounds deranged. I feel bad for her boyfriend, whoever he is.
After that artist, though, those Phantom Thieves might come back to steal Ikesugi-kun’s heart! If they come, I’ll show them no mercy. I’ll make them bleed… It’ll be a blood storm! *giggle*
(Motivated First-Year) Wow! Maybe we know them!
I dunno. Everyone here is so… ordinary.
Maybe, but with all the other crazy stuff that’s gone on at Shujin, nothing would surprise me now!
I can’t go to the police, and the teachers are no good either… All that’s left is the student council… Dammit, what should I do…?
(Intense Soccer Player) Such a disgrace. A famous guy like him, exploiting his own pupil. But I want to know more about the Phantom Thieves. They did the same thing to Kamoshida.
What if they actually went to Shujin? I wonder if they’d join the basketball team.
Uhhhh, sure you would.
Oh! Ignore what I just said. I can’t be attracting too much attention to myself. But I can’t just watch idly if someone is robbing the innocent. I had to do something… The world is filled with villains. It’s up to the heroes to get rid of them! Yes, it’s my destiny…
With all the attention I’ve been getting, I’ve got no privacy. You can’t possibly understand. But there’s no time to relax. On the phantom thief fan sites, so many people need saving. The world is filled with villains. It’s up to the heroes to get rid of them! Yes, it’s my destiny…
(Kind Faculty Member) People who draw a lot of attention might have circumstances and pressures we don’t know about.
You’re too nice, Sensei. Who cares about their feelings if they’re bad guys?
By the way, are the Phantom Thieves still big news? Our school doesn’t need more bad publicity…
(Female Volleyball Player) I’m really grateful to them for saving me. If they really exist, I’d like to cheer them on…
Why don’t you try posting online on a fan site? You never know, they might be checking those out.
(Gentle Male Student) That sounds freaky. Maybe they use some kind of weird mind control drugs…
(Refined Male Student) The notion of “stealing hearts” intrigues me. One must touch their subordinates’ hearts to lead them, after all.
Haha, I knew you’d say something like that. Maybe you should see if you can join the Phantom Thieves.
“In an effort to resolve this issue, we will gladly accept any and all information students have to offer. Please go to your class president if you have anything you would like to come forth about. Strict secrecy will be observed. I hope you act responsibly. —Principal Kobayakawa”
“There will be a social studies trip from June 9th-10th. Mind your manners when you are on the trip.” “Aim for the Olympics!” “High hopes for Yoshizawa’s performance!”
I’m writing this on July 10th, 2021, and I’m just gonna say that this Olympics reference hits a little different these days. Real big oof.
(Bothered Student) We’re going to check out a TV station, right? I wonder if anyone famous is gonna be there.
… Huh? This isn’t a robbery? Oh, please don’t scare me like that.
But there have been tons of threats and robberies around here lately… It happened to some of my friends. I heard someone’s pulling the strings behind the scenes. You’d better watch out too, young man.
No, I’m the one who jumped to conclusions. At night, like usual, Shibuya is a treacherous place.
You know that Madarame incident? Apparently, an organization from Shibuya was involved with it. With money being transferred behind the scenes, tensions in Shibuya will be high for a while.
(Modest Housewife) Plagiarizing, was it? And from his own pupil, at that.
You hear about that—people who pass off another’s hard work as their own.
Ohoho… Yes, my husband was quite distraught about that as well.
Back to Penguin Sniper for the third day in a row!
Music: Kichijoji 199X
All right, let’s get everyone over here. So, billiards, right?
Thank you, that’ll be 800 yen! Please enjoy yourselves.
No kiddin’. He’s got the aura of a pro…!
Have you played somewhere before? You do seem to know some unexpected stuff…
Oh c’mon! It’s that thing you’ve got in your hands! What was that about having the aura of a pro…
Heheh. I’m getting pumped now. Alright, let’s get started!
Ann is a simpleton about the fine art of billiards. Which is totally fine by me, for the record, because I’m the exact fucking same.
Glad to see everyone had fun. I gotta say though… Thanks to playing billiards, I think you’ve learned more about making bold decisions when the time calls for it!
Maaku gains Guts +2.
If you’d like to learn more about it, there’s a book I’d recommend reading. It’s called Expert Billiards. It covers everything from the basics to practical applications.
Practical applications of billiards!?
The only problem is, it’s quite a rare book. You might have some difficulty finding it. You may have a better chance of getting it at a specialty shop that sells sports supplies, as opposed to an ordinary bookstore.
…You really know a lot about this, huh?
Oops, I didn’t mean to hold you up right as you were leaving. Please, do come again.
A book on billiards, huh… Next time we’re free, we should check to see if we can find it at a sporting goods store.
If it’s all the same with you, I’d really rather not. That guy was *really* into pool. I saw a dark future ahead of me there. Let’s just keep this as a hobby for now.