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Hello everyone and welcome back! It's been kind of a long time since the last update, huh? About 4 months by my recokoning. A lot has happened since then.
Take today's update for instance. Originally this was going to be a multi-part deal because at the time this was recorded, there was an ongoing event in XIV called Make it Rain. It's basically a yearly event that offers extra rewards at the in-game casino.
There was a plotline that happened, but I've since deleted the footage because it's covering an event that happened back in July. But I still have the parts of the footage that covered the introduction to the in-game casino. So as a nice way of easing back in to things in the weeks before Endwalker releases, let's take a look at that, yeah?
This quest is first made available as soon as you unlock airship travel - so the second you finish the tutorial and are told to report to Sastasha for your first big-boy dungeon. There's never really been a good time to cover it in the LP, and this downtime between patches is the best opportunity.
If I wanted to keep things "right" with my plan to cover content as it was released, then I'd have waited until Patch 2.5 to do this. But fuck that.
Do be careful with those! Break anything, and I shall be forced to deduct it from your salary!
Uhhh...
Beg pardon? What is my loyal manservant carrying? Why, a not-so-small fortune in prizes ably won by yours truly in the Gold Saucer! You have heard of the Gold Saucer? Nay!? Ye gads, woman-you might at least try to keep up with the times! It's only the sultanate's newest and finest place of entertainment!
Thrill to the sight of majestic birds roaring down the straights at the chocobo races! Pit your wits against your peers at the Triple Triad tables! At the Gold Saucer, one can do all this and more-and if you know what you're about, you'll walk out a wealthier woman than you entered. If there's a better place to shake off one's cares after a grueling day of promenading, I've never heard of it!
...Did I mention the prizes? ...Ah, but I daresay you'd rather discover them for yourself. Yes, I'll wager you're wondering just how in Thal's good name you can experience the wonders of the Gold Saucer firsthand. Am I right or am I right?
This sounds pretty fun, not gonna lie!
Ha! I thought as much. Well, since this has been my lucky day, I don't see why it shouldn't be yours too. I just so happen to have a spare golden airship ticket, you see. Consider it a gift from me to you, milady! Just show that ticket to the fine lady over at the landing and you'll have a seat on the next airship bound for revelry and riches. Be fairly warned, though: you may expect no mercy from me should our paths cross at the Triple Triad tables. Nay, not so much as an onze! Ha ha!
Not likely. Unlike a lot of players, I really do not care for Triple Triad. I don't hate it either, but it never appealed to me in FF8. I like collecting the cards, but I don't go out of my way to challenge opponents for them.
Also Ginger is dressed up like this because she's currently the dancer job. At some point, I'm not entirely sure when, Red Mage hit level 60 from all the stuff I was doing with it behind the scenes. This unlocked both Dancer and Gunbreaker as jobs that she now has!
Yes this means that by the time I finish this LP, the only job stones she will not have will be the ones explicitly from Heavensward. And, presumably, Reaper and Sage because if I manage to hit level 70 on a single job before finishing ARR, then I will have been stalling worse than Rich Campbell.
This is the reception desk for flights bound for the Manderville Gold Saucer. Before proceeding, I must ask that you submit your ticket for inspection. Ahem. You do have a ticket, yes?
Right here! *hands it over*
...It appears that everything is in order. An airship will be departing shortly before the next bell. Shall I reserve a seat for you?
Yes. Yes I shall.
Dancer's job armor looks funny on lalafell.
Four Sided Circle (You should listen to this. Yes it's the tune you think it is.)
This intro does a pretty good job of showing off some of the stuff here at the Saucer. You can watch it in the video I linked up above!
The dad presumably hit it hard enough to win.
This is the Gold Saucer's mascot(?) Senor Sabotender.
Here comes our girl down off the airship now!
Tucked away here at the entrance we find this guy whose quest will get us better acclimated to this place of minigames.
Welcome, honored guest, to the Manderville Gold Saucer, where your wildest dreams are ever but a card or a chocobo's beak away from coming true. If this is your first visit, nothing would please us more than to give you a full tour of our establishment, that you might enjoy its wonders to the fullest.
At the conclusion of the tour, it is our custom to offer our esteemed patrons a complimentary gift, straight from the vaults of our illustrious proprietor himself. Consider it Lord Manderville's way of personally thanking you for your patronage. Should you wish to take the tour, pray proceed to the main counter over there and speak with the receptionist. On behalf of the management, may I take this opportunity to thank you for choosing the Gold Saucer. Rest assured, my colleagues and I will spare no effort in seeing that your visit is a pleasant and profitable one. May fortune smile upon you!
The center hall here is our first destination.
Welcome, traveler, to the Gold Saucer! This is the main counter, where you can purchase tickets for the Mini Cactpot, acquire and redeem Manderville Gold Saucer points, and much, much more. But what in the world are Manderville Gold Saucer points, I hear you cry! A most astute question, and one which I shall be only too happy to answer. But first-if I may direct your gaze to your left...
Beyond those majestic gates, you will find Chocobo Square, home to the chocobo racing circuit! Aye, what chocobo owner has not dreamed of pitting their fleetest bird against the realm's finest in a pulse-quickening dash for fame and fortune? Truly, it is the sport of sultans!
And should you desire a more elaborate contest of strategy, you will surely find it in Minion Square, at the Lord of Verminion tables, where would-be generals pit armies of minions against one another in battles for honor and glory!
Lord of Verminion is just pet battles. Those minions that we've been collecting, like the little unicolt that's been following Ginger around for months? We can make them fight other minions for prizes. Also chocobo racing is a rabbit hole I've never dived down beyond trying it out briefly.
I spent enough time doing that in FF7, thank you. Way back in the day when I got my very first cell phone, I downloaded this program off the internet that let you change ringtones by uploading a MID file to the phone with a special cord. I actually had a collection of Square music, but my favorite was a pretty faithful rendition of Fiddle de Chocobo.
The MIDI file had to be a certain size and the one I picked was too large. So I had to play with the program's settings to make Fiddle de Chocobo fit. The fact that it was so faithful given the limitations was impressive. This was back in like 2003, mind. For some reason the people I hung out with in high school did not think it was cool.
They did think it was funny, though.
Now, where were we? Ah, yes, Manderville Gold Saucer points. Put simply, MGP-as we call it for short-is the currency by which dreams are bought and sold within these halls.
But my associate here beside me can tell you more, including how to go about acquiring some MGP of your very own. Pray speak with him to continue your tour.
There's not a lot to say about this quest. We talk to a dude and get a tour.
So, you're about to experience the wonders of the Gold Saucer for the first time? How I envy you... Ah, but before you venture forth, you'll want to exchange a share of your gil for MGP-a service which it is my great honor to provide.
With MGP in your coinpurse, you'll be able to enjoy all of the fabulous attractions we have to offer-and all of the wonderful games. If you play them with skill, you'll find your little stack of points increasing ten, twenty, even a hundredfold!
Now that you know the fundamentals, you're ready to step out onto the floor of the Gold Saucer! Your tour will continue at Card Square to the southwest. The card trader there will be your guide.
...I would of course be happy to exchange some of your gil for MGP before you venture on. While my associates and I strive to leave nothing unexplained, there truly is no substitute for firsthand experience, and I heartily recommend trying your hand at our many amusements for yourself.
This is the max we can buy. But this is not a problem. The gold saucer is ridiculously generous. The player conspiracy theory is that the WOL is the player the house can point at and go "See? She wins, so you can too!"
Alternatively, Godbert runs this place at an incredible loss. Anyway, while we're here let's talk to some others on this central dais before we run off to the Triple Triad hall.
Over here on the opposite side from the broker we find...
Welcome, welcome, fair traveler! Care to test your luck with a Mini Cactpot ticket?
Sure!
Splendid, miss! Now, allow me to explain: Mini Cactpot is a game of chance, available to you thrice every day. Playing is simplicity itself: just guess the value of the covered numbers to win it big. If Nymeia's grace is with you, you'll be rewarded with Manderville Gold Saucer points galore! So, miss...do you feel lucky?
Mini Cactpot is weird to describe. You're presented with a grid of 9 numbers and you need to pick 3 to scratch off. Based on the ones you scratch off, you then need to weigh the odds of getting specific numbers in specific slots. It's kinda fun and doesn't cost a lot to play. If you're into that sort of thing, there's multiple websites out there that bill themselves as "cactpot solvers."
This lady up here has multiple quests. One quest is legit mahjong-ass mahjong while the other is an introduction to the fashion report. This mahjong is the real thing, not the tile matching game you played on your family's computer as a kid. It intimidates me.
Supposedly there's at least one person who's subscribed to this game who doesn't give the slightest shit about the story and instead just logs in so they can play mahjong. Apparently it's pretty faithful!
I dressed precisely as I was told. To receive such a dreadful score, not to mention the humiliating criticism... Hmph!
Are you okay?
...Hm? You wish to know what's bothering me? That is well, for I wish to unburden myself. I've been having a frustrating time with the Fashion Report, the challenge they recently introduced. Yes, I, who can play any game here blindfolded and spun around, struggle with it. To be fair to myself, though, it has a subjective element. If you have a mind for fashion, perhaps you would like to try your hand at the challenge. Go to Wonder Square and seek out Masked Rose. But be warned: the barbs on that man's tongue have barbs on their tongues.
The fashion report is a great way to get a chunk of gold saucer funbux each week. You're supposed to look at the vague-ass hints given and figure it out from there, but like almost everything else in the Saucer, it's a solved deal. I'll cover it at the tail end of the update.
Off to one side we find the triple triad hall.
Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing! Welcome to Card Square, home of the Triple Triad tables.
I have a question...
What's Triple Triad, you ask? Why, only the mind-bending, pulse-pounding, maddeningly moreish card game that's taken the realm by storm! But don't take my word for it-behold!
Start today and we'll even throw in some complimentary cards to help you on your way! You can face off against a single opponent at any time, or-if you crave an even greater test of your skills-take part in one of our regular tourneys. And believe me when I tell you, there's no feeling quite like standing triumphant on the battlefield after vanquishing all comers. You really should try it!
A minute to learn, a lifetime to master-that's Triple Triad! Ah, but I'm getting carried away-you have a tour to finish. Wonder Square is your next destination. ...Not that there's any hurry, of course. If you'd like to play a hand or two before you go, you need but say the word!
She closed her eyes to bow. Also, yes, this catgirl is wearing bunny ears. Godbert is a weird man.
This man here will get us started with Triple Triad.
Triple Triad is taking Eorzea by storm! Care to try your hand at this entrancing new card game?
Sounds fun!
And so another challenger is born! Welcome to the world of Triple Triad, where you pit your cards against an opponent's in a tense battle of skill, strategy...and the odd dose of luck! Here at the Manderville Gold Saucer, I am pleased to present all new players with the cards they need to get started!
To play a match, however, first you'll need to build a deck composed of five cards from your registered card list. Oh, and I suggest speaking with the nearby Triple Triad trader should you wish to expand your card collection!
This is just Triple Triad, right from FF8. Most major characters in the game have cards, and most dungeon bosses will drop their card when you beat them up. Even better - you can sell unwanted/unneeded cards right back to the trader for MGP!
If you run Youtube Roulette a lot, you'll have your inventory stuffed with Gaius van Baelsar cards, so being able to get 5000 MGP per Gaius card is just another bonus from daily cutscenes.
You just need to use the cards from your inventory. Pretty simple, really! And, yes, my inventory is an utter mess. This was it on a good day. Don't ask me why I have so many pieces of equipment.
There's a couple aethernet shards in and around the Saucer to help you get around.
The aetheryte is in the center of the whole mess.
We came in in the blue zone to the left-ish. Anyway, let's explore the Gold Saucer! We'll start north in the green zone and see where our travels take us from there!
The Round Square doesn't have a lot going on at any given time. But a couple times an hour it's used as the go-to spot for a couple different events.
This weird quest icon over here is one of those hourly events right now!
Look! A poor, defenseless chocobo hatchling has wandered her way up the cliffs of Mt. Corel and is now trapped at the top. I would save her myself, I would, but I am no alpinist and, as a Lalafell, have a severe aversion to heights.
That, and there appears to be a gang of unruly goblins tossing grenados at any would-be rescuer. Is there naught you can do, wealthy patro...er...kind adventurer!?
Gateway to Paradise
These events are called GATEs. Several of them are silly jumping puzzles that are pretty fun. You're only ever competing against yourself during these, even if you see other players rushing ahead. So there's no pressure here aside from the 10 minute time limit.
We joined 2 minutes after the GATE had started, but that's not really a problem. Mt. Corel is not one of the harder jumping puzzles here in the gold saucer.
The PA system will also announce when new events have started. There's also a cute little melodic tone. Also like I said above, most of the events repeat hourly. So if you missed the Mt. Corel Climb, you can just go do something else for an hour and come back.
I misjudge a jump here, but all that means is we just have to run back and try again. Only two GATEs, I'm pretty sure, kick you straight out if you fail and they're strange gimmick ones.
Changing the subject briefly, FFXIV has weird jumping physics. It's something I've never really covered. Ginger can do three different types of jumps and most jumping puzzles in the game will ask you to get really good at swapping between them on the fly.
If she's standing still, Ginger will do a tiny little hop that will not clear even the shortest of fences.
If she's been moving for a short amount of time she'll do a jump that goes farther and gets more clearance than the little hop. Most jumping puzzles want you to use this.
If she's been jogging for a few seconds, Ginger will do a flying leap that covers a bunch of ground and lets you jump relatively high.
If you fail at a jumping puzzle - like say the infamous one in the Stormblood city hub - it's most likely because you either did the tiny hop and went nowhere... or you the flying leap and went soaring off into Narnia.
We started the GATE at 8:03. We failed once and had to start again, and we reached the end at 7:00. Mt. Corel is actually a really nice and easy introduction to the gold saucer jumping puzzles!
We got 4,500 sauce funbux for finishing. Not too bad for a minute's work, right? Well, bear in mind that we were also getting 50% more funbux because of the Make it Rain event.
Let's move on.
I elected to visit the Wonder Square next, which is over south from the aetheryte, because that's where the introduction quest continues.
Feast your eyes on Wonder Square! From gripping games and awe-inspiring attractions to the finest in fine dining and the freshest of refreshments, there's no end to the wonders housed within these halls.
And let's not forget the most wondrous of them all. El Coloso-as we lovingly call our mammoth cactuar mascot-is the star of some of our most popular events. Suffice it to say, you won't want to miss them!
Now, I know what you're thinking: "With everything going on at the Gold Saucer, how can I ever hope to keep up?" But you needn't worry-my fellow GATE Keepers and I will always be on hand to see that you don't miss a thing!
For the continuation of your tour, I've been instructed to direct you into the waiting arms of my colleague Veleda at the Cactpot Board. She's one of our most popular girls, and once you meet her, I'm sure you'll understand why. Well, ta-ta for now!
Over in the back of the Wonder Square are the Crystal Tower Strikers.
This little minigame costs 1MGP to play and it's just as simple as hitting the button when the gauge hits the proper spot.
It's not a lot of MGP, but it is kinda fun to mess around with for a few minutes.
Over past those machines is the Masked Rose. This is the man in charge of the Fashion Report.
Oho, a new challenger has come to put her stylistic sensibilities to the test! Welcome to the Fashion Report, good madam!
Wh-What? Is everything quite all right?
Yes, everything is rosy! Redolently so!
Yes that's totally Redolent Rose, the guildmaster of the WVR guild, doing fashion critique.
Now then, I believe this is your first time participating in the Fashion Report. Allow me to explain the concept and the rules.
Fashion is a form of self-expression. What we wear without is a reflection of who we are within. Be it a conscious effort or no, this choice brings our individuality to the fore.
Some folk are drawn to vibrant colors. Others may favor a loose fit for comfort. And while 'tis well and good to dress to one's preferences, a man cannot prefer that which he does not know.
I don't think the playboy gold saucer bunnies are dressed that way because they want to be.
The world of fashion is vast and, at times, daunting. But if we have the courage to take a step into the unknown, we may discover wonderful new ways of self-expression we had never considered.
The rules are simple: I shall assign you a theme, based upon which you are to attire yourself to the best of your sensibilities. I shall then judge you and award you a score.
Participating is free, and there is a host of fabulous prizes to be won, courtesy of Manderville & Manderville. If you wish to know the finer points of the game, my lovely assistant Kasumi shall attend you.
I look forward to giving you my unadulterated, brutally honest evaluation of your fashion sense. Steel yourself, and let me know when you are ready to undertake the challenge.
At the end of the update I will cover just what doing the fashion report entails.
Over in another corner of this square room we find the crane game.
It controls exactly like you might expect one to.
15MGP with a bonus is not the greatest amount. But what can you expect from such a low cost of entry?
Like any good crane game, it immediately became my obsession for the next five minutes. But eventually I managed to snag one of the tiny red balls!
Anyway, let's go upstairs. The cactpot board is the most popular spot here in the gold saucer for good reason.
The most spacious of all the areas of the Gold Saucer, Event Square is a veritable cornucopia of pleasure and delight. Doubtless the sizable stage in the middle of the square has caught your eye.
That is the scene of some of our most sensational attractions, so don't be shy about taking center stage!
And after the curtain has fallen, why not try changing your life forever? At the Jumbo Cactpot, all you need is a handful of MGP and a headful of dreams! Just choose four numbers and cast your hopes to the heavens! You never know just when Nymeia will smile down upon you.
Now, as much as I've enjoyed getting to know you, I'm afraid it's time for us to part. The next and final leg of your tour takes you to Round Square. Don't think too hard about the name, my darling-even I'm not sure it's supposed to make sense.
Jumbo Cactpot is a weekly lotto held at the gold saucer. Unlike most real world lotteries, there's consolation prizes for not matching any numbers. Like real world lotteries, there's heartache when you see you had the correct numbers but in the wrong order. 
There's a quest here that explains jumbo cactpot, but I'm not gonna show its dialogue.
It's seriously just "pick four random numbers." There's even a "generate four numbers for me" option if you want. I usually click that.
The numbers get drawn weekly on Saturday 10PM EST (GMT-5) and you have a week to collect your winnings, if any. There is apparently a special bonus you get to any winnings or consolation prizes if you visit the board shortly after the numbers are first drawn.
The tickets cost 100, 150, and 200MGP respectively. You can have up to 3 at maximum per week. The astute among you might realize this costs 450MGP total. That's nothing. In fact, the consolation prize from a single ticket will cover three for the next week.
Down on the bottom floor again, we find the Cuff-a-Cur machine.
We have to hit the guy we saw in the stinger at the end of the last Hildibrand quest. It's one of those "hit in the dead zone" games where the dead zone is dead center.
Ginger got it slightly off center...
And was measured as hitting the guy with 89 ponze of pressure. This tracks because no matter what else she runs around as, she was trained as a pugilist before all else.
For what it's worth...
Hitting dead center shows just how much Ginger pulls her punches. When she wants to, she can punch with an almost literal ton of pressure.
Back over near Mt. Corel we find the next step of the introductory quests.
Moving on to more important matters, is that lofty peak not a sight to behold!? That is Mt. Corel, the main attraction here at Round Square. One of our most thrilling events pits our customers against each other in a challenge to see who can most swiftly scale its heights. I tell you, the view from the summit is a sight to behold!
And that concludes your tour of the Gold Saucer! While I'm sure you're eager to start enjoying yourself, pray do not forget to return to the main counter and claim your complimentary gift!
At some point we must have passed through the event square, but damn if I can tell when. It's just an empty stage unless specific GATEs are being held.
As a token of our appreciation for your patronage, it is my great pleasure to offer you a complimentary gift from the personal vaults of our esteemed proprietor-
Well knock me down with a chocobo's tailfeather! Is that a new customer I see!? Ha HA! I could hardly have picked a better time to drop in for an impromptu inspection.
I love this guy's jacket.
M-Master Roland! Yes, this lady here has but this moment completed her introductory tour.
Is that so? Well then, allow me to personally welcome you to the Gold Saucer. I am Roland, good madam, the fellow entrusted with overseeing the daily affairs of this fine establishment on behalf of our esteemed proprietor-a great man if ever there was one.
You are an adventurer, yes? Aye, your dress and bearing told me as much. I daresay, then, that on your travels you have seen firsthand the difficulties which yet plague our nation. Witnessed the struggles of Ala Mhigo's displaced masses...and those whose homes were consumed in the fires of the Calamity.
...The sultanate is not unsympathetic to their plight, of course, yet how can one begin to provide succor to such countless multitudes?
No says the man in Washington! It belongs to the government! No says the man in Moscow! It belongs to the people.
...One man had an answer. Godbert Manderville had a dream. A dream of a house of untold wonders that would provide stable employment and lodgings to the displaced, mirth and merriment to the disconsolate, and prosperity and plenty to the sultanate at large...
To many of our patrons, the Gold Saucer is merely Eorzea's foremost entertainment venue-a place to forget about their cares for the day. To me, it is one of the founding stones upon which our realm will be rebuilt-a miracle wrought by the hand of the greatest man I have ever known.
Something tells me you understand that which I have told you-that you, perchance, share a similar dream. But I shall keep you no longer. The Gold Saucer and all its wonders await you, friend-pray enjoy them to your heart's content. Till we meet again, may the Spinner's pull be ever kind!
While aimlessly running around, another GATE spawns. So let's take a look!
Think you have what it takes to hop, skip, and jump your way to victory? Then step right up and try your luck at the Leap of Faith! And if you're feeling especially daring, we've placed several trophies throughout the course. Reach them before you clear the finish line and your reward will be that much greater.
Leap of Faith is so complex that it has its own instance.
We get transported super high up in the air over Upper La Noscea, into the ruins of the floating city.
There's a lot of winding around on tight platforms. If you fall off, you get sent back to the last checkpoint you passed. They pop up fairly frequently, so you never have to redo all that much.
And there's so many players that you can easily see where to go!
That thing over on the right is a trophy. You pick it up to get extra bonus points. What do the points do? No idea!
Bigger trophies have tougher jumps.
It's never as overwhelming as it looks. Like any good platforming game, you just gotta take it one jump at a time.
This is the only three star trophy that I found in this run.
And it was right by the exit.
Not too shabby! We doubled our prize just by doing some semi-difficult jumps.
Like 20 minutes later this pops up.
You look like you've a sharp eye. Care to test your shooting skills aboard the Air Force?
Heck yeah!
Once you're strapped in, all you need do is break the targets to earn as many points as you can. You'll want to avoid the Ruby Bombs, though. Don't want to blow your chances at a high score.
The rare insta pop!
Screenshots won't do this justice so click on this handy dandy little link:
Air Force One
I love this dumb game.
Let's cut way ahead to the end of the trip to the gold saucer. The rest of the time was the, admittedly cute, story about someone stealing from the saucer and their reasons why. This all was recorded before I stopped updating, so that should tell you how long ago it was.
Anyway, Ginger here is dressed in a very specific way because she's going to get 80 points in the Fashion Report. How do I know?
Catgirl VTuber KaiyokoStar collates the community's efforts to figure out each week's fashion report. The one I linked was the exact one that I pulled up for Ginger. It really is as simple as following the "easy 80" guide. You can glamour the items over your current glam or you can equip them. Either works!
You only ever have to get 100 points once, and some weeks are a lot easier than others. The week starting July 23rd was a bad week because Skallic Jackets are notoriously a bitch to get to drop.
Greetings, pursuer of fine fashion! Are you come to present yourself for judging? Or do you wish to know the current theme?
Mister DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up~
By Design
Without further ado, let the judging begin. Take your place, my friend, and strike a pose!
It ought to come as no surprise, but there are no few suitors vying for Kasumi's attention. She is quite fashion savvy herself, though, so you'd best know how to dress, else she won't so much as remember you. I have made my decision. Brace yourself!
Daring Dalliances
You have done well. All the parts come together as a harmonious whole. If I were to offer a piece of advice, however, you might consider adding an accent-a little something to punctuate the look and draw the eye.
The blue jacket actually kinda works.
Here is your prize for participating. I hope this challenge has opened your mind to new possibilities in fashion.
You have put a smile on my face, and for that you deserve a little something extra! So, are you satisfied with your showing? If you feel that you can do better, I encourage you to try again.
80 Points is good enough for me! Anyway, that's quite enough of this little overview of the Gold Saucer. There's a lot I didn't cover like most of the GATEs, half of the games, Triple Triad, Lord of Verminion, Chocobo Racing...
I want to apologize for not updating for damn near four straight months. The latter half of 2021 has been pretty shit. But I'm ready to start again! Coming up next is gonna be the rest of the WAR quests! Then after that will be our first beast tribe, the Amalj'aa.